by Robin Roseau
“Do they use a real pickle?”
We talked for a minute, and then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked and Dad was there. I spun to him and did something we didn’t do often.
I latched onto a hug. I think he was surprised, but his arms wrapped around me, and I crushed myself to him. “It’s moments like these I’m reminded why we have daughters.”
“I want a hug!” I pulled away from Dad and then knelt down, opening my arms. Serephine threw herself at me, and I caught her. “I missed you, Lydia!”
“I missed you, too, Squirtlet,” I replied.
“Dad says we’re going out to eat but he said he wants veggie burgers. I want pizza!”
I laughed. “Pizza sounds way better than veggie burgers.” Still holding my little sister, I stood up. She was getting a little big for this, but I could still do it, at least for now, if it wasn’t too long. “I hope we can go somewhere I can get a strawberry shake.”
“I want a strawberry shake!” Serephine declared. She was still of an age where she talked in exclamation points.
“The veggie burger shop has veggie shakes,” Dad offered. He thought he was funny. “Maybe I can get a kumquat shake.”
Serephine began to put on a mutinous look, but I whispered into her ear, “He’s trying to tease you.” Then I turned to Dad. “Kumquats are fruit.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Oh.” He offered a crestfallen expression.
At that, Mom stepped forward, gave me an awkward hug, kissed my cheek, and whispered, “Welcome home.”
“Thanks,” I whispered back.
* * * *
We drove home and dropped my stuff off. Dad wanted to go straight to the veggie burger place, but Mom said she had to go to the bathroom, and she didn’t want to use one at the restaurant. “And if Serephine begins to throw a fit because you teased her too much, you’re in trouble,” she added. The real reason, of course, was so we could drop my grimoire back at home. It would go back to Aunt Jackie’s in a day or two, but we weren’t going to leave it in the car.
We didn’t go for pizza, but we didn’t go for veggie burgers, either. Instead, it was real burgers. And yes, I got a strawberry shake. Serephine dithered over what kind of shake she wanted but then copied me. She wanted to get a whole one rather than a kid’s shake, but I leaned to her. “I won’t drink all of mine, so if you get the kid’s shake but want more, you can have some of mine. How’s that?”
She was a good kid.
We had a nice dinner. Everyone was in a good mood, and no one cared that Janie and I held hands. Mom and Dad treated her like another daughter, and I thought that was really cool.
It was late in the meal when Dad said, “You haven’t told us about your trip. How is Mabel?”
“We got to know each other a lot better,” I replied. “She taught me how to make pancakes from scratch.”
“Was that an offer?” Mom asked.
I thought about it and then slowly said, “Maybe.”
“I like pancakes,” Serephine said, letting us all know she was paying attention.
“I know you do, Squirtlet,” I told her. “So do I. Janie, do you like pancakes?”
“Who doesn’t like pancakes?” Janie asked. “My mom makes Swedish pancakes.”
“What’s a Sweesh pancake?” Serephine asked.
“Swedish,” Janie said. “Which is the word we use about things from Sweden. They’re big, like this,” she said, holding her hands up. “But really thin. You can roll them up like a log. Mom puts jam in hers, but you can roll up a sausage inside or just use syrup or berries and stuff.”
“There’s a subtle difference between Swedish pancakes and crepes,” Mom said. “Most people make them in a special pan.”
“Mom has one of those,” Janie said. “She’s very protective of it. She’s terrified I’ll scratch it and won’t even let me wash it. She washes and dries it then stores in in a special bag so it won’t get scratched.”
“Perhaps your mother would like to come for breakfast-for-dinner tomorrow,” Mom offered.
“I’ll ask her,” Janie agreed.
* * * *
When we got home, I whispered to Janie, “Head to my room. I’ll be right up.” And then I grabbed Mom’s hand and said, “Just one minute.”
She nodded and let me pull her to the kitchen. We turned to each other. “I would like to talk to you and Aunt Jackie together sometime.”
“Tonight?”
“Soon.”
“We’re all getting together for New Year’s Eve. I’ve already invited your friends for you?”
“Really?” I didn’t wait. “Thank you. But not then. Another time, when we can be alone.”
“Lunch tomorrow, or do you need more alone than that?”
“That would work. I just didn’t want questions from anyone else.”
She nodded. “I’ll set it up. Janie is staying for a while?”
“Is that all right?” I paused. “Mom?”
“Yes, it’s all right. What?”
“Do I need to ask permission to invite her to spend nights?”
“Not if it’s only once-in-a-while.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Would you say that if she were a boy?”
“Absolutely not.” Then she pulled me to her. We hugged. She kissed my cheek and whispered, “I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me, too,” I whispered back. “I had a better time with Aunt Mabel than I thought I would, but I’m glad to be home.”
* * * *
Janie was on her phone when I slipped into my room. I closed the door and set my back to it, smiling. She set her phone aside and looked at me.
“So,” I said.
“So.”
“So. Mom just told me I don’t need to ask permission for the occasional slumber party.”
She began to grin. “Did she?”
“Would you like to spend the night?” She nodded slowly. “Want to make sure it’s okay with Summer?”
She picked her phone back up and made the call. “Mom, I’m staying overnight at Lydia’s.” Pause. Pause. “Okay. See you then.”
She tossed her phone aside and beckoned me closer. I pushed off from the door and tried to put a little sway into it as I approached the bed, then climbed up from the foot until I was looming over her.
“Hi there,” she whispered.
“Hi,” I whispered back, then lowered my lips.
We kissed. Her hand came up to cup my cheek, and I settled into place with her. And we kissed.
And kissed.
Until I rolled to the side, but squirmed next to her, cuddling. “I want to tell you something, Janie.”
“I want to tell you something, too, Lydia.”
“Okay, but I want to go first.”
“I love you,” she said.
“Hey!” I complained. “I wanted to go first.”
She looked over at me, grinning. “I love you,” she said again. Then she pulled my head down and kissed my nose, then my lips, a little peck. “I love your lips.” She slipped fingers through my hair. “I love your hair. I love your name. I love your family. Lydia Davis, I have been in love with you for a long time.”
“I love you, too, Janie Winter. I’m in love with you.”
Applications
Janie and I made love that night. We’d been kissing and touching for a while, but we hadn’t gotten entirely naked together before, and we certainly hadn’t made love. But we did that night.
It was awkward, a little, but it was good, too. We were careful to be quiet, and I struggled a little figuring out what she would like, but she used her own hands to guide mine, and she gave the tiniest of little cries.
We held each other afterwards, neither of us speaking. I was overwhelmed, entirely overwhelmed, and I thought she was, too. But then she said, “Lydia?”
“Hmm?”
“Can we do it again?”
&nb
sp; * * * *
Janie went home after breakfast. Mom must have warned Dad, because he treated it like it was no big deal for her to spend the night. And Serephine treated Janie like a second big sister, which I thought was really cool.
I thought it was really cool that Janie seemed to think it was cool.
It was a work day, so we watched Dad leave, taking Serephine with him. I was a little surprised they didn’t leave her with me, but he would drop her off at daycare. I didn’t ask.
Mom hugged me before she left and said, “I’ll pick you up a little after eleven. Upscale from jeans.”
“All right.”
She separated from me and then said, “Janie, I’m happy to see you, and happy you stayed over. But I have a pretty good idea how you’ll spend the morning if you hang around.”
“Mom!” I complained.
“I imagine it will be more of the same of how you spent the night.”
“Mom!” I screeched.
She waved a finger at me. “Hush, or what I told you last night was a one-time agreement.” Mom didn’t bluff. I shut my mouth. She waited, then nodded. “Good. I don’t have a problem with any of this. However, while I could be wrong, I think last night maybe had a few firsts for both of you, and I think you need to separate and process a little.” She pointed a finger at me again. “Furthermore, you’re having lunch with Jackie and me, and I don’t want you still looking mussed.”
I was about to complain again, but the finger waved, and then she made a pinching motion, reminding me to keep my lips closed.
“So, at least today, the two of you aren’t going back to bed. Janie, you’re going to go home. Lydia, you have laundry to do. Janie, we’ll see you at dinner. You can come with your mother, but if you want to come earlier, Lydia can pick you up after she collects her little sister from day care.”
“How am I going to do that? I don’t have a car.”
“You’ll drop me off at work after lunch. Janie, say ‘Yes, Merry.’”
“Yes, Merry,” Janie echoed.
Mom patted my cheek, turned around, and headed for the door, two of us staring after her. Once the door closed behind her, Janie stepped to my side, wrapping an arm around my waist. We both stared at the door. Finally, she said “Well, shit.”
“I can’t believe she said that.”
“I totally planned on dragging you back to bed. Think she was serious?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t think we should push our luck,” Janie declared. “What did she mean about an agreement last night.”
“Letting you spend nights.”
“We definitely shouldn’t push our luck, then, because I’m not sure Mom is ready to make the same offer for you.”
* * * *
I gave Mom the cold shoulder treatment in the car. She let me get away with it for about a minute and a half then finally said, “I want you to be honest about something. I think your father and I are being pretty open-minded. Do you disagree? Think before you answer.”
I thought. It didn’t take long. “Agree,” I finally admitted.
“Do you honestly agree, or are you just saying that?”
I turned to look at her. She kept her eyes on the road. “Maybe it depends on how often ‘once in a while’ is.”
“That’s a fair question. I’m not sure. More than once a month and less than three times a week.” She glanced over. “I didn’t want to pick a particular frequency, but I guess I thought perhaps once or twice a week, between our house and hers.”
“Really?”
“Really. You’re 18, Lydia. For the most part, you act like an adult. It’s hard, but I’m trying to treat you like one.”
“Then what was this morning about?”
“We’ll get to that in a minute.”
“We’ll be at Aunt Jackie’s in five.”
“She’s at work. We’re dropping your grimoire off then meeting her. Are we being open-minded?”
“Yes, I suppose.”
“You suppose? Lydia, don’t be wishy-washy about it.”
“Fine. Yes.”
“All right. This morning was about several things. It was about making sure you both know you don’t have to sneak around, although I’d rather you weren’t obvious in front of your father, and everything we’re discussing ends instantly if things change in how you treat your little sister.”
“They won’t.”
“Next, maybe I guessed wrong, but I think last night was a first.”
“Two firsts.”
“Two?”
“I told her I loved her.”
She smiled broadly. “I’m glad.” She glanced over, still smiling. “Lydia, I’m…” Then she turned back to driving but actually pulled over and parked in front of some stranger’s house. She put the car into park and turned to fully face me. She was still smiling, which was scaring me a little.
Not that she was smiling, but that she was smiling because I’d had sex.
“I’m proud of you, darling.”
“You are?”
“And happy for you. My first time… I don’t think it was as good as yours.”
“I’m not talking about things like that.”
“I didn’t love him. And he barely acknowledged me the next time he saw me.”
“That’s terrible.”
“Some guys are jerks,” she said. “And some are like your father. I was young and stupid. The worst part is, your aunt had tried to warn me off of him, but I didn’t listen. Honey, I don’t promise I’ll never chase her out again, but you had a long, stressful trip. You had a long, stressful flight. And you needed to process. Am I wrong? Think before you answer.”
I didn’t have to think. “You’re right.” I paused. “Are you going to ask how long before she left?”
“No.”
“Afraid of the answer?”
“Not at all.”
“You waited around the corner, didn’t you?”
“Yep.”
“Did you really?”
“If she’d taken more than ten minutes, I was going to have forgotten something.”
“You don’t trust me.”
“Honey,” she said. “Young people in love for the first time do really stupid things. I certainly did. You normally have very good judgment. I’m only making sure you exercise it.”
“I thought you didn’t love that first guy.”
“I didn’t. I loved the second one, though. And later, I did a few pretty stupid things about your father, but they turned out all right.” She paused. “Still mad at me?”
“I wasn’t ever mad,” I said. “I was embarrassed. That’s worse.”
She laughed. “You’re tough. You can handle a little embarrassment. No more cold shoulder?”
“Not over this,” I said, offering a small smile.
“All right, then,” she said. She reached over and squeezed my hand and then put the car back into drive.
* * * *
We ordered our lunches and handed our menus to the waiter. I took a sip from my water then looked at Mom and Aunt Jackie. It was Mom who said, “Did you want to dive right in?”
“I think I should go to college locally.”
“I guess that was ‘yes’,” Aunt Jackie replied. “Explain.”
I’d thought about this, but I realized it was still a hard subject for me. Maybe it shouldn’t have been, but it was. “Why are you making Serephine’s second grimoire and not her first?”
“Ah,” Jackie replied.
“Did Aunt Mabel really spend 18 years making mine?”
“I think she’s been done for two years,” Jackie replied. “So 16 years. Of course, it’s not the only thing she’s done during that time. Honey.”
“I know you have to do it,” I said. I looked down my hands. “She said she’s had some scares.” That came out in a whisper.
“Darling,” Mom asked gently, “what’s going on? Is Mabel sicker than we realized?”
I looked back up. “Not
that she has told me. This isn’t about Aunt Mabel.” I paused, considering my words, knowing I was probably going to botch this, but then, in a rush, I tried to get it all out. “You’re doing her second book, Aunt Jackie, and I’m supposed to do her first. I’m supposed to teach her. The way you’re teaching me.”
“You know I’ll help you, honey,” Aunt Jackie inserted. “And Merry can help, even without her magic.”
“We’ve all agreed that she gets to start when she’s 12,” I said. “That’s 8 years. In those 8 years, I have to learn all the spells from the first book and be able to actually use the things Aunt Mabel tried to teach me, the stuff from my second book.”
“Just the first few spells,” Aunt Jackie clarified.
“Still. They’re a lot harder than what you’ve taught me so far. Not only do I have to do all that, but I have to write her first book, besides. If I go away to college, we’re going to lose four years. I don’t think we can afford that.”
“Well,” Aunt Jackie said, after a little pause. “It sounds like she’s been thinking about this.”
“If I live at home,” I added, “It’s a lot cheaper, too.” I shifted my gaze to Mom, seated beside her sister. “Are you and Dad going to remain open-minded?”
She snorted. “If you don’t fight me when I embarrass you, yes.”
“Open-minded?” Aunt Jackie asked.
“Janie spent the night,” Mom said.
“Ohhh,” Aunt Jackie replied. “That kind of open-minded.” She leaned over and kissed Mom’s hair. “I’m proud of you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Mom said. She gave me a serious look. “You are not responsible for your little sister.”
“Frankly, Mom, that’s bullshit.” I took a chance being that blunt and was relieved when she didn’t appear offended.
Instead, she studied me. “You’re a good big sister,” she finally declared. “I’m so proud of you. Honey, if she can’t start until she’s 14…”
“It won’t be because I shirked my duties,” I said firmly.
“Do you know what you want to study?” Mom asked. “We’ve talked about it a little…”
“No,” I admitted. “Should I go to community college first?”
“Only if you’re strongly leaning towards something satisfied with a 2-year degree,” Mom replied.