If that was what he thought, what the hell was he doing with her?
"Well, recently I decided I was ready to add in the one thing I felt was missing and I think I might be close to getting it." He winked, but then sobered. "Thank you."
"For what? Just because I kissed you doesn't mean I was making any decisions." She grinned at him to take the sting out of her words.
"I know. And that's not what I was talking about. Thank you for reminding me what I have. Sometimes, it's easy to forget when I focus on what I lost."
Ridley chuckled without any real humor. "If anyone can understand that, it's me. You're still living your life, Maddox. You're honoring your brother by being a good man and helping people. And you've never given up on him. Maybe one day, if you still don't have answers, you'll be ready to let it go. But you obviously aren't there yet. That's okay too."
Maddox reached for her again, but this time he wrapped Ridley in a warm hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Ridley froze for a moment, startled, but then she melted against him and hugged him back. She couldn't remember the last time anyone hugged her. Especially with any sort of affection.
Her throat tightened and her eyes burned as she snuggled closer into Maddox. His arms squeezed Ridley tight before he released her and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
"If you and Malia change your minds, we have booze at our house."
"You need a night with the guys and I need a night with her. We'll talk tomorrow."
"It's still a night with the guys with you there. It's better when you're there."
She sighed. They needed to see if there was anything more than flirtation and lust between them. Hell, maybe if she slept with all of them, it would release all this tension. "How about Saturday night? I might even be persuaded to stay over if Beckett will feed me."
Maddox beamed. "Deal."
Chapter 17
Reese
CORMAC SANK ONTO THE couch beside Reese and handed over a beer. "Here. Looks like you need this."
Reese took it, but didn’t drink any. "Thanks. I'm fine, though." He’d already had three and they hadn’t helped.
"Sure, dude. Whatever you say." Cormac shook his head, frustration on his handsome face.
Reese rolled his eyes. "Dude? Really?"
Cormac winked. "You know I'm not one for pet names."
"You gave one to Ridley. You literally call her pet."
"Does that bother you?" Cormac actually looked like he cared if it did.
"No. I know you and I aren't anything serious." And they weren't. To Cormac anyway. Reese was in love with him, but he'd never admitted it since Cormac was allergic to serious relationships.
It was why Cormac's interest in Ridley was so surprising. But Reese figured it was because Cormac would be sharing her with his team, so the bulk of working at a relationship wouldn't be solely on his shoulders.
But Ridley didn't want them. Not enough. She was attracted to them, sure, but she didn't trust them, she wasn't willing to ask for help. As a member of the team or something more with them. And she left them. After they let her in further than anyone before, she left. And never called again.
Now she was back and the others were acting like it was for good. But Reese didn't believe she'd stay. She'd been keeping her distance from them, almost skittish in her reactions to them, always hovering on the edges. Beckett and Maddox were convinced something was going on with her and even Cormac agreed with them.
Reese had noticed it too, but he refused to soften towards her. He couldn't afford to let her back in again. Not when she clearly had one foot out the door, ready to bolt as soon as they figured out who killed Maddox's brother.
"When are you going to stop pouting over that bloody woman?" Cormac all but growled out the question.
"I'm not pouting. I'm brooding. Brooding is much sexier."
Cormac's lips quirked with amusement. "It's a shame you've fallen for someone with even more issues and baggage than you."
Reese snorted. Ridley wasn't the first one. He seemed to have a type. Damaged and skittish. But at least Cormac was willing to be part of the team, to allow some kind of relationship. Ridley barely tolerated a friendship.
Beckett and Maddox wandered in and joined them in the living room, plopping onto the other couch.
"It's a good sign that she's willing to let us help with the safe house." Beckett speared Reese with a serious look. "We went about it all wrong. We blackmailed and demanded and rushed her. I doubt we know even half of what she's been through. It's a wonder she's not terrified of us."
Reese hadn’t considered how four huge men with powers might make her a little wary after the way she grew up. It was hard to remember when she acted so fearless and cocky.
"Beckett's right. We moved too fast and it's my fault. This whole thing was my idea." Maddox winced. "And I'm still fucking it up and rushing her."
"What do you mean?" Cormac asked in a sharp, suspicious voice.
"I kissed her today."
The expected jealousy never rose inside Reese, just arousal as he pictured it.
Beckett took a drag of his beer. "How'd she react?"
Maddox’s eyes went all dreamy. "She kissed me back and didn't run away. But she made a point to let me know it didn't mean anything."
"Where is she anyway?” Beckett asked. “I thought you would have invited her to this."
"I did, but she had plans to go out with Malia. And I thought it was a good idea to touch base with you three about her. The last thing I want is this team suffering or breaking apart because of her."
Women had tried before. They were jealous of the tight bond and how the team came first. It was why Beckett and Maddox stuck to pickups at bars and Cormac and Reese found comfort in each other. No one could compete or break into their circle. None of them wanted their own homes or spaces. They were closer than brothers.
No one until Ridley.
They'd never all wanted the same woman before. They'd never met someone who fit with them with such ease, who complemented them.
If Reese believed in soul mates, he'd believe she was theirs.
Reese shifted on the couch as everyone's attention fell on him. "I know I'm gorgeous, but you don't all need to ogle me like that." He hid a wince as the bad joke fell awkwardly into the room.
"We're either all in or none of us are in." Maddox was completely serious. He meant it.
"Does it matter if we're in or not? She's made it clear she isn't."
The kiss with Maddox didn't mean anything. Ridley was like them, no interest in any relationships other than her teammate. Malia was the only person she let in.
"She said she was willing to see how things went with this investigation." Maddox shrugged. "I told her to keep things professional if she was going to disappear again."
"Which is exactly what she's been doing. She's kept to the edges, helping sure, but she still isn't letting us in. Yeah, she agreed we could help with the safe house, but that's basically charity. She'll accept it for the sake of the people she helps, not for herself. And under protest at that. She doesn't want our help with her father, she doesn't want to tell us whatever it is that's wearing her down into a shadow of herself. She doesn't fucking trust us. We can't be teammates or have whatever fucked up relationship we were hoping for with someone who doesn't trust us." Reese knew he wasn't being entirely fair.
He knew she was just as damaged as he was by parents who were supposed to love and protect them. He knew her independent streak was a mile wide and she saw asking for help and backup as a weakness. He still could picture her broken and bloody face and body in the aftermath of her fight with the speedster. Who she'd gone to battle alone.
"The four of us had our issues for a while too. Personally, I think she needs time. Time to get to know us better and to see we aren't going to hurt her or leave her or betray her. But if any of us aren't willing to do that, then the flirting and kissing and asking her to join us have to stop. I'm sorry I kissed he
r before having this conversation with you guys." Maddox winced.
Again, everyone looked to Reese. He didn't know. The other three wanted her, but they were willing to step back if he'd changed his mind. Warmth filled him with love for these men. They were the only ones who'd never left him. What if that changed now?
Cormac leaned over to whisper in Reese's ear after nipping the edge, making him shiver. "We won't leave you for her. If you're out, we'll understand. We're not fucking going anywhere."
Reese closed his eyes, fighting the emotion broiling in his chest and trying to push down his face. "Let's slow down with her like Maddox said and see where things are after the investigation is over. If she disappears on us again, I'm done."
The tension in the room melted away and Maddox nodded. "Fair enough. I guess now is a good time to mention she agreed to come to dinner Saturday and spend the night."
Everyone's attention jerked to Maddox, who looked like a smug kitten who'd gotten into a bowl of cream. Except he was huge, so not so much a kitten as a gargoyle or something. Reese set aside his still untouched beer. Clearly, he'd had enough tonight since his thoughts were chaos.
As the others discussed what to eat and what it meant, Reese sat back, relaxed for the first time in months. His team wasn't going to blame him if he couldn't make things work with Ridley. She might even be coming around. As much as he didn't want to allow the hope to bloom, he still ached for the frustrating woman.
Every time they all gathered in her garage office, her scent teased him and he remembered what she tasted like, how she felt and sounded when she was in his arms. He saw a loneliness in her eyes he recognized all too well he wished she'd let him banish.
It was hard to stay away from her when he saw how much she'd been wasting away. How much she still was. There was a fragile vulnerability to her now that was missing when they first met her. He saw the way Malia watched her with worried eyes and clenched fists. It concerned all of them when she didn't bother trying to hide it, like she was too exhausted to put in the effort, like it was too strong to remain hidden by her masks. He wished he could believe it was because she was letting them in, but it wasn't.
Cormac had finally pulled out a little of her old fire the other night, it flashed for a moment before she smothered the flame. Reese wished he could peel away every layer, knock down every wall, blow away every shadow keeping her hidden from them.
Beckett and Maddox wandered into the kitchen to see what they needed to buy for the dinner, leaving Reese and Cormac alone. Cormac pulled Reese into his side, softening only for him. Reese was the only one who got to see Cormac like this. Would he let Ridley one day? Reese hoped so. He wasn't jealous of anything Cormac gave to her. He just hoped he wouldn't lose these moments of just the two of them if he did let her in.
Reese was an unapologetic greedy bastard. They all were. They wanted it all. He just hoped Ridley did too.
Chapter 18
Ridley
NIGHTMARES RIPPED RIDLEY from a restless sleep, sending her shooting up in the empty bed, chest pounding and heaving. She dug her palms into her eyes with a groan, trying to hang on to the threads of the dreams, but as usual, they floated off into the night, disappearing like smoke.
She had no idea what the nightmares were about. All she could remember was blood and pain and her father’s stupid ass face.
Another groan exploded from her when she checked the time. It was only three in the morning. She'd just gotten home two hours ago. Alone. After the kiss and hug with Maddox, no one at the bar she and Malia went to appealed to her. Instead the two of them had ordered drink after drink, laughing and unburdening.
She'd hoped it would help her sleep, but maybe she did need sex or a warm body in her bed. Though if she was wrong, the last thing she needed was to wake up screaming next to some random stranger.
With a twist of her lips, she peeled the sweaty tank top from her body and headed for the shower. There wouldn't be any more sleep tonight. Might as well wash the stench of booze off her and get some work done.
There had been no news or texts from Maddox or the others, so she hoped they had a good night together. Did Maddox tell them about their kiss?
She still didn't know what it meant to her. She definitely wanted him. All of them. But want wasn't enough. Lust wasn't enough. Not with them. She wouldn't be able to sleep with one or all of them and move on. It meant something more with those shitheads and she wasn't sure she was ready for it. They were the first ones who tempted her even the slightest bit to try something more than a night or two.
Her night with Maddox scared the shit out of her so much she'd decided to stay away from bars for a while. He still scared the shit out of her. He was able to slip past her defenses easier than anyone ever had before. There was something steady and trustworthy and comforting about him.
The other shitheads were just as hazardous to her. Cormac met her darkness and rage with his own, letting them dance and merge together with cutting remarks and searing lust. Beckett was the mystery she wanted to unravel, the mind she wanted to go up against, the one who challenged her.
And Reese.
Reese calmed the storm inside, teased it into something lighter, reminded her of the fun to be had in this life. At least, he used to. Before she hurt him so badly he could barely look at her anymore.
She was running out of excuses. All the reasons she'd resisted them were nothing more than that. Excuses. Her father thought she was dead, she'd been safe for ten years. As long as those higher up in the Legion didn't run her prints, she'd be fine. And as long as they gave up on the insane idea of taking her father and possibly the Legion down.
She still wouldn't move in with them, but she could work with them on their investigations. Maybe even let them help with her mission. Did any of them have the slightest clue how big of a deal it was she'd conceded in letting them help with the safe house?
Malia had almost fallen over in shock when Ridley told her.
She turned off the shower and huffed as she dried herself off. The nightmares and sleepless nights were getting to her. Her guard was weak and her thoughts and actions were getting a little ridiculous. She wasn't a lovesick idiot, willing to give up everything for a few hot bodies and handsome faces. She had promised herself a long time ago, she'd never let someone have the kind of power her father used to have over her again.
It didn't matter how perfect they seemed for her. Jumping into a relationship with four guys who were a ready-made family was a recipe for pain and disaster. She'd stick to being their co-worker. Just business.
She needed sleep. Her thoughts made no sense. She was contradicting herself and had been every time she tried to figure all this out.
Ridley banished the memory of Maddox's warmth and the comfort of his arms. The hug had fucked her up more than the damn kiss.
She had to be strong. Eventually, she'd get used to how damn hot they were and her libido would calm down. It was just lust.
Ridley threw on comfortable clothes and started a pot of coffee as the files on her coffee drew her attention. She had a nagging suspicion there was something they were missing. Something obvious. The nightmare had shaken something loose and she planned to see where it took her. She wanted Maddox to have his answers, to get his closure.
It was something she'd never find, but it helped getting it for others. It was the closest she'd ever get.
She lost herself in coffee and research as the early morning finally bloomed and the sun peeked over the horizon. A gasp tore from her mouth as she followed a hunch on her computer. Blinking hard, she read it again.
She double checked the dates in the paperwork. Then, she used Beckett's programs to see if it all came together.
It did.
Chapter 19
Ridley
THIS WAS IT. POSSIBLY. Maybe. She still wasn't sure. But the coincidence was too high for anything else to make sense. Unless the lack of sleep was making her stupid, which was a high possibility.
Hopefully, the guys were awake. It was a little early for her to barge in, but they needed to see what she found. Maddox needed to see it. A phone call wasn't enough.
The ride helped clear her mind and calm her as she drove through the waking streets. Her eyes squinted against the sun and her head still pounded from the disturbing amount of tequila she and Malia put away. She was surprised she wasn't still drunk, but nightmares were quite sobering.
If the guys drank as much as she and Malia did, they were not going to be happy at her unannounced visit. Maybe she should have sent a text, warning them she was coming.
Too late now.
She was here.
After parking her bike, she skipped up the steps and rang the doorbell. Reese opened the front door, a towel around his neck, his chest bare and dotted with water, sweatpants hanging low on his hips. She had a hard time looking away from the sun kissed skin before her, but she forced herself to focus on his face.
"Ridley?" His brows shot up with surprise.
"Hey. I found something. I think. Maybe. Now that I drove this far, I'm starting to have doubts." Ridley clamped her mouth shut, irritated with herself for rambling.
Reese blinked. "I just woke up, and the shower didn’t really help, so maybe I'm a little slow, but what?"
"I have something to show Maddox and the rest of you. About the investigation." There. That made sense. Short and to the point.
Boom (Aces and Knaves, #2) Page 8