by Bethany-Kris
Not that it mattered.
Corrado had crossed Alessio’s one line.
It was already too late.
“So, is that what you need to do, then?” Alessio asked, dragging Corrado from his thoughts as lightening streaked across the sky in the window behind him. “You want to fuck her, Corrado? Then fuck her. Have her.”
28.
Ginevra
“You want to fuck her, Corrado? Then fuck her. Have her.” Alessio’s bitter laughter filtered down the hall to Ginevra’s spot where she leaned with her shoulders against the wall while she stared down to the dimly lit office. She could see them in the doorway, standing too close, both seeming ready to strike out at one another. “That’s our deal, right? I just have to know about it, and now I do. So, you want her, now I know, and you can have her.”
“Les, it’s not like—”
“Not what, like I think it is?” Even if Ginevra were able to see more of Alessio’s face in the shadows of the office, she bet he would be sporting a sneer. It couldn’t be missed in his tone. “It’s exactly like what I think it is, and you can’t deny it.”
“I don’t want to deny it, but that doesn’t change us, either.”
“Us?” Alessio scoffed. “Us?”
“That’s what I said, wasn’t it?”
“What is that?”
Ginevra lifted her gaze again to watch the scene playing out down the hall. She had no business standing there, and it certainly wasn’t her place to watch this whole thing play out like she was a fly on the wall.
And still, she couldn’t move.
She was compelled to stay.
The two men stood toe-to-toe in the doorway of the office, their bodies angled toward one another like one was waiting for the other to strike, but neither knew which one would do it first. She didn’t even think they realized their fight had been this loud, or that it had almost moved entirely out into the hallway.
“What is what?” Corrado snapped.
“Us—what is that, huh? Because you haven’t known, or you sure as shit didn’t wanna say before, so let’s not pretend like you do now.”
“Low blow, Les. That’s a low fucking blow, even for you. You’re mad, so you’re saying shit you don’t mean because that’s how you deal. And I get that, but that’s low. You’re pissed—so fine. I crossed a line—yeah. None of those things are untrue, but it doesn’t change what this has always been to me.”
“But all of them mean one fucking thing for me, Corrado.”
“Stop saying that.”
“What, you don’t like having your bullshit thrown at your feet for you to unpack?”
“That’s not it at all. It doesn’t matter how many times you say it, it won’t make it true.”
“Then, what? Go on, tell me. I’ll wait. Surprise me for once, please. I’ve had five damn years doing this with you, so what’s one more night, right?”
“Stop it. This doesn’t prove shit about us, or some complex you’ve had about what we’ve been for the last five fucking years,” Corrado said, his tone roughening enough to make Ginevra startle against the wall. She looked down their way just in time to see Corrado step forward fast enough to force Alessio back a step, making the man press against the doorjamb. “It doesn’t change the fact that I love—”
Corrado didn’t get to finish his sentence before the inevitable happened. She’d been watching it from the time they came into her view—the way both of them seemed like one was going to strike out at the other. Only, Alessio didn’t strike out the way Ginevra thought he would.
This all felt violent.
Anger overflowing.
Pain spilling out in words.
And yet, Alessio struck out at Corrado with affection. If one could call the kiss that he leveled on Corrado as affectionate. Ginevra didn’t know if she would, not considering the force of the kiss pushed Corrado back until he was the one with his spine against the doorjamb, and a hand was at his throat.
She heard Corrado hitting the wall, saw the way Alessio’s lips dragged against his, fingers curling into a suit jacket, and another fisting into leather. Somehow, though she didn’t think there was any room left between them, the men moved closer. Their kiss wasn’t soft or easy. Certainly not slow, or sweet.
Vicious, maybe.
Bruising, definitely.
And oh, so painful.
Painful, she thought, because one of them seemed to be fighting to leave something behind while the other was refusing to let go.
Ginevra sucked in a sharp breath, her heart aching as a whisper of heat shot through her body at the same time. It would be impossible for someone to see that sight, those beautifully haunted men showing love in their hurt, and not feel something for it. She simply didn’t think she should feel something for it.
This was not the time for that. God knew, she had her own reasons to be mad here, and that was enough to make her want to slip out of the hallway and leave those two to their ... mess.
Because fuck, she could see it was a mess. Somehow, she’d been put in the middle.
But still ...
She couldn’t look away.
This wasn’t for her to see. Their moment—their fight. None of it was for her, even if it had been brought on because of her. She didn’t have any business being privy to something that felt far bigger than her.
Because wasn’t that much obvious?
It wasn’t just her.
Alessio pulled away first, his face still darkened by the shadows, but that didn’t stop Ginevra from noticing the way his jaw trembled when murmured, “Don’t, Corrado.”
Corrado dragged in a ragged breath. “Les—”
“Don’t you fucking dare say that to me,” he interjected, swift and harsh, his voice straining with every word. “Not right now, not after everything and all this time ... don’t you dare do that to me. You never wanted to do it before, so you don’t get to do it tonight. You don’t get to use it now. You don’t get the right to use those words when you did this, too.”
“I’m not trying to say it to use it like a weapon—”
“You are because you know what it means.”
Corrado released a rough sound that echoed down the quiet hallway. “Let me explain, please.”
“Except you can’t, can you?”
“Or you don’t really want me to, Les.”
Alessio nodded. “Don’t do that, either.”
“If you’re going to throw my shit at me, then at least look at your own.”
“Fuck you, Corrado.”
As fast as Alessio had moved to corner Corrado, he stepped away, moving into the hallway with his back facing Ginevra. Although, she didn’t think he knew she was there. She should move—now would be the right time to do exactly that—but she couldn’t. Her feet might as well have been cemented to the floor.
Stupid, foolish girl.
“Just ... stay,” Corrado said, “calm down, and then maybe we can talk without this. It doesn’t have to be like this.”
“Nah, I wouldn’t want to intrude, you know?”
Alessio said that, and the same time, tipped his head to the side. Ginevra stilled against the wall, her eyes growing wide when the man pointedly looked her way. He’d known the whole time she was standing there, it seemed.
He didn’t appear bothered by it.
Corrado sighed, his stare following Alessio’s path until it landed on her. Still, he said nothing, and he didn’t move when Alessio turned around, and headed down the hallway. He met her gaze, and held it even as he came closer, and didn’t drop it as he passed.
“You really found a mess here, girl, huh?” Alessio asked her.
Ginevra looked away.
He wasn’t wrong.
Silence echoed in the penthouse long after the slamming of the front door reached the far hallway. The hardwood floor suddenly became a hell of a lot more interesting to her, because it was easier than watching Corrado drag the pad of his thumb over his bottom lip.
Too many things warred in her mind, and her heart. All the things she’d clearly missed, and others that still didn’t make sense. Oh, she had questions that needed and deserved an answer, sure, but some of them probably weren’t her place to ask.
She’d been lied to.
She’d been hurt, too.
And still, all she could think to ask in that moment was, “You didn’t think you should tell me about him?”
A hoarse sound left Corrado, but she continued her perusal of the floor. It was still easier than looking at him when she wasn’t even sure how she felt right then.
“You should have told me,” she whispered. “Maybe then, this wouldn’t have happened.”
He laughed, then.
Hard, loud, and bitter.
God, so dark.
Like someone ripped it out of him.
Ginevra looked up to find him staring at her in that way again. So intense, and pensive.
“You think that would have changed what happened here tonight?” he asked, shaking his head as he turned to go back into the office. Over his shoulder, he added, “In case you didn’t figure it out, this was a long time coming. This was years in the making—you just happened to help it along.”
“You still could have—”
“I should have done a lot of things, Ginevra. I don’t need someone else to point it out to me, and I certainly don’t expect you to understand me, or him, or this.”
Ouch.
That hurt.
“Or is it because I’m just a job to you, Corrado?”
His next step into the office hesitated, his shoulders tensing before they visibly dropped, the same way his head dipped down, too.
Did that hurt him?
Good.
He should know how she felt, too.
She didn’t give him the chance to respond before her feet finally decided to start working again, and she slipped down the hall out of sight.
There, she could hurt.
And he wouldn’t see.
29.
Corrado
“And how long has it been since you had contact with him?”
Corrado’s molars ached from how hard he continued clenching his jaw through this entire fucking conversation. How Cree was even able to understand half of what Corrado said to him was a goddamn mystery.
Better Cree than Dare, though.
Dare would tell Corrado he was a fucking asshole, didn’t deserve Alessio—he wouldn’t be wrong—and then he’d likely refuse to help him, or try to pull information on Les’s possible whereabouts. All the while, he’d make sure Corrado understood every single bit of this was his fault, and again, he wouldn’t be wrong ... but it wouldn’t solve the problem of finding Alessio.
“Corrado?” Cree asked.
“A week,” he said quietly, pacing the length of the office as he spoke, passing rows of books and the large window, and then coming back again. “It’s been a week since he showed up here, and then he left. He won’t pick up calls, doesn’t answer texts ... I just want to make sure he’s good, you know? I know Dare has access to his tracker, but I didn’t think I should call him.”
Cree released a sardonic laugh. “No, I promise you, that would have been a very bad thing to do. For you, not for Les.”
Right.
He didn’t need to be told.
Dare didn’t have children, and as far as Corrado always understood, Alessio filled that place for the man. He protected Alessio far more than anyone realized, and not for one second did Corrado think that his relationship or love for Les would make a difference to Dare at the end of the day.
“I can’t go into the tracker data without alerting Dare,” Cree said, “and I’m going to assume you don’t want me to do that.”
“I just ... I don’t know if he’s okay.”
Because this worried Corrado, not that he had any fucking business worrying about Alessio at all. If the man wanted to fuck off somewhere, then he was due that. If he needed to take time away and figure out this shit, then it wasn’t Corrado’s place to deny him that.
And he wasn’t.
But he didn’t think that was it, either. He figured Alessio was doing this to him because that’s what he did when he couldn’t deal with shit. After all, this wasn’t the first time Alessio had gone off the radar when things caught up to him. Usually, he made sure at least someone knew where he was, or what he was doing, but not all the time. Sometimes, he hid away purposely, made sure no one could find him, if possible, and when he was good and ready, then he would come back.
Only when he was ready.
Corrado didn’t know if this was the same, though. That’s what bothered him the most. That’s where his concern came into play because how in the fuck was he supposed to fix this between them if he didn’t even know whether or not Alessio was going to come back?
“Maybe ...” Cree trailed off.
“What?”
“Alessio always seems one way to everyone else looking at him,” Cree murmured, “but you know in his mind, he’s different. He’s always been that way. There are very few things he holds close, Corrado, but if someone tried to hurt those things, well ...”
“He would slaughter a city for them.”
“Exactly.”
“But someone didn’t hurt me, Cree, I hurt—”
“Him,” Cree interjected. “I figured that much out. And so, what we’re learning now about Alessio, because I don’t think he’s ever had to handle this before, is that when the thing he loves hurts him, well, he does the opposite.”
“What does that mean?”
“He wants to slaughter you.”
Corrado stiffened, coming to a stop in front of the window. The late July sky was cloudy, and dreary. A mix of wetness, and heat had made a fog sit around the tops of the buildings surrounding his. It felt appropriate for his life right now.
Confusing.
Suffocating.
Messy.
Horrible.
“But he can’t hurt things he loves, because he has so few of those, and he knows what it’s like to be hurt by the things that are supposed to love him,” Cree continued on like Corrado was actively conversing back with him. “Go back to his parents, his abandonment ... it’s really not hard to put it together, Corrado.”
“Well, it is for me.”
“Yes, because despite what you may think, and what everyone else likes to say about you and Alessio being shadows—or extensions—of the other, you are both actually very different people. Two people who lived entirely different lives and see things like love and loyalty and bonds in varying ways.”
“So, what you’re trying to tell me is that—”
“He’s staying away because he doesn’t want to hurt you right now, and if he’s too close ... he might do just that. He can’t trust himself, so he needs some time. All you can do is give it to him Corrado.”
“Huh.”
Didn’t that mean this wasn’t done, then?
It wasn’t over?
Corrado thought so because Alessio wasn’t the type to play games. If he was done, and he wanted this to be finished between them, then he would have made that clear. He wouldn’t have disappeared for an entire week like this, he simply would have said.
He just hadn’t come back yet.
Eventually, he would.
Corrado still didn’t like it, though, because it put him on edge. He didn’t know if Alessio was okay—probably not, in some ways—and he couldn’t stand this heavy feeling pressing down on his chest that only seemed to grow day after day.
Cree cleared his throat. “I pulled the aliases I could and did a quick check. Nothing came up on any of the ones he uses, so he must be using one I don’t know about. I know you only want to be assured he’s okay, but I won’t check his tracker. For one, because of Dare, and it’s best he stays out of this until the two of you figure out this ... problem for yourselves. And for two, because Aless
io is allowed his privacy, even if I was willing to deal with Dare when I checked the tracker. Which I’m not,” he added in a grunt about Dare, continuing on with, “But allow Alessio his privacy, Corrado.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“You don’t sound like it is.”
Because it wasn’t.
He was fucking breaking apart at the seams.
Corrado wasn’t good at this. He didn’t do this. And if this shit was what heartache was, well, fuck that, he didn’t like it at all. It felt like his entire world had come to a stop, and yet, all he needed to do was look outside the office window to see ... no, in fact, everyone else’s world was still turning.
But his?
His was at a standstill, gone somewhere out there, away from him, and it was all his fault. He had no one to blame for this but himself.
“And,” Cree added, bringing Corrado back to the conversation at hand, “if I understand the situation properly ... the young woman is also still with you, yes?”
“It’s ... not like I have a choice.”
For one, because Ginevra still couldn’t go back to New York. And for two, because if Corrado were being honest, he had unfinished business with her at the end of the day. The feelings he had for Ginevra did not negate or change the way he felt for Alessio. But that worked both ways, too. The thing he had with Les, and the last five years they spent together, didn’t change or negate the situation he found himself in with Ginevra, either.
“Don’t be defensive,” Cree said, “what happens behind your closed doors is not my business, which has always been our stance.”
Our, he said.
Meaning Dare, too.
That was about as much as Cree gave regarding his relationship with Dare.
“I meant,” the man continued, “that at the same time, did you consider Alessio might be also giving you what you want by staying away?”
“Excuse me?”
“The woman, Corrado.”
“What—”
“While protecting you from him, he may also be giving you the chance to figure that out where he isn’t imposing or making it more complicated. You were clearly in a situation with her before he came into the picture, and by stepping back, he’s allowing you to continue it whichever way you want.”