I needed to go home where I couldn’t think everything through the way I needed to. I hurt all over, and it was hard to think around Blaise. Besides, there was a whole other conversation taking place in the back of my mind about who’d poured gasoline all over my hut.
As I cooled down, I regretted throwing a plate at Blaise. I was a mess. I needed space to think and make sense.
I’m sorry.
I jolted. Blaise wasn’t in the room, but I’d clearly heard his voice in my head.
“Blaise?” My voice shook. Horrified, I jerked around to see if he was hiding somewhere. “This isn’t funny…”
He wasn’t there, though. I was hearing him in my head. More of his thoughts were bouncing around, but I did everything I could to shut them out. I didn’t want to go there right then.
I fought to get to my feet and tried to limp across the room. The skin on the bottom of my foot tugged, and I forced myself to fight through the pain.
It was one thing to ignore Blaise when he said that we were mates, but having his thoughts pushed into my head, I couldn’t ignore that. I couldn’t pretend the signs weren’t there. The faster I could get away, the faster I could get back to ignoring him and put the reality of our situation in perspective.
Maybe there was a way out of it. Surely, you weren’t just stuck with your mate just because you had a bite mark on your neck. Free will and all of that. I wasn’t going to spend my life with a man who was so domineering and controlling. I couldn’t. That had been my mother’s downfall. It was the reason that my sister and I had to grow up in foster care being shuffled from one place to another and never really belonging to anyone. I would not be blinded by stupid feelings and amazing sex. I was smarter than that.
Before I reached the door, it opened. Blaise spotted me hobbling around and rushed toward me. I should’ve flinched. If I was so worried about him being domineering and controlling, why did my body relax? Was I so messed up?
He scooped me into his arms and hurried into the bathroom. “You are bleeding, mate.”
“Don’t call me that.” My voice was sharp, much more forceful than I intended.
He lowered me onto the side of the tub and closed his eyes for a second. “I need to take care of your foot. Can you not throw anything at me?”
I looked down and got a little lightheaded at the sight of the fresh blood that had already tainted the white marble tub. “Shit.”
“Please do not fight me right now, Chyna. You will hurt yourself.”
“Did I hit a vein? Why is there so much blood?” I swayed. “Oh, god. There’s more.”
Blaise gruffly chuckled. “You are okay. Cherry brought an ointment from the pharmacy to put on it. It will help it remain germ-free and heal faster.”
“An antibiotic. Good.”
“You must lay down and allow it to heal.” His voice dipped. “We can argue about whatever you want to argue about later. For now, please allow yourself to heal, and allow me to care for you. Please.”
Even in my nauseated state, I could tell that Blaise wasn’t used to begging. He had humbled himself. For me. Feeling weaker and like that huge dummy part of me was growing stronger, I nodded. “Fine. But it doesn’t mean anything.”
Blaise brushed my hair out of my face and tenderly touched his lips to the top of my head. “It means everything to me.”
I closed my eyes. I told myself it was so I wouldn’t have to see any more blood. But I think it was more of an attempt to close off some of the connection I was feeling with Blaise. He had a heavy look on his face, and something behind those oddly colored eyes hinted that he wanted more than just a maid. I didn’t want to see it.
His thoughts were too strong. They invaded my head even though I’m not sure he even wanted them to.
I should’ve kept her here. She would not have suffered injuries had I been a better mate. This is my fault. What kind of male allows an injury like this to happen to his female?
I squeezed my eyes shut more tightly and tried harder to block his thoughts. I needed to keep a wall between us. A wall of anger and distance. So, as soon as I was feeling a little better, I could get the hell out of there and not look back. I wasn’t about to spend my life acting as a housewife, but I had a feeling that if I got to know Blaise better, I might end up making too many compromises in that direction. It was probably in my blood.
“I’m going to bandage your foot again and then run you an oatmeal bath. It helped your skin last night. I will finish washing your hair, too.”
“Pass.”
“Chyna—”
“It’s okay, Blaise. I just want to get back in bed.”
“Fine. For now.”
I held my breath as he doctored my foot, his hands gentle against my skin. He held my ankle like it was made of porcelain. When his palms cupped my calves, my body reacted like he’d stroked my girlie parts. My libido was out of control. If Blaise noticed, though, he said nothing. That was one blessing in an otherwise hellish situation.
“Okay.” His voice was sandpaper as he stood and lifted me easily into his arms. “Bed for you. Unless you would like me to carry you to the couch to watch TV or something.”
“Bed, please.” We could both be polite.
“I will tuck you in bed and then prepare you more breakfast.”
I wanted to apologize for throwing the first breakfast he’d made me at his head, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I remained quiet and let him place me on the bed. As soon as he released me, I moved away and pretended to be focused on adjusting the blankets over my legs.
“I am not a chef. I will try my best.”
“How have you not starved to death without a mate around to cook your meals?”
Catching my snark, Blaise simply stared at me for a few moments before shaking his head and leaving me alone.
I let my head fall back against the pillows. They smelled like him. Sigh.
13
Blaise
Remy was waiting outside to talk to me. He’d arrived at his own unhurried pace, in no rush to console me. He had no sympathy for me since I was the one with a female and he was, as of yet, unmated. I’d already fed my queen, and she was sleeping again. Or at least pretending to sleep. She did not want to talk to me, but I wasn’t about to press her at the moment.
“Brother.” He looked me over and scowled. “Why do you look worse than before you had a mate?”
I sighed. “It is more difficult that I thought it would be. She does not want to be my mate. She does not understand that it is not a choice. She will not even give us a chance; she just wants to leave.”
Remy frowned. “Have you tried explaining everything to her?”
I nodded, then hesitated. “I think I have. I don’t know. I get so angry and frustrated when she insists on leaving.”
“Does she not feel the mate pull?” He sat down in one of my chairs and rubbed his temples. “That is how it works, right? Even with humans? They feel the pull, just like we do. Isn’t that what Beast and Cezar said?”
I sat across from him and shrugged. “I don’t know. I was not listening to them. I was too busy thinking about both of us slowly going insane and having to be put down like rabid animals.”
“I was not paying much attention, either.”
We both sat in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. When I finally looked up at my twin, I found him frowning again. “What?”
“We did not have a good example of how to behave as mates.”
I squirmed uncomfortably. Remy and I didn’t normally talk about our parents. The turn in conversation suddenly made me feel about as comfortable as if I was sitting on a cactus. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. We both know. Father was not a good mate.” Remy sighed deeply and stretched his legs out in front of him before crossing them at the ankles. “I don’t think we should model our relationships with our mates after our mother and father’s.”
“Father was…”
“Not a go
od male.” He met my eyes. “I also do not think Mother was his real mate.”
“What?”
“It’s something I’ve thought about for a long time… I’ve seen how Beast and Cezar treat their mates. They would never hurt them.” He held his palms out to me, face up. “I cannot say for sure, brother. I have no proof. It’s just…he was so cruel to her.”
I stood up and paced behind my chair for a few minutes. Then, gripping the back of it, I tried to take an objective look at our younger centuries from my now more mature viewpoint. I could not do it, though. Mother must have been Father’s mate. Why else would she have given up her life to be with him?
“It does not matter, really. It was not as though either of us thought that Father’s behavior toward her was an appropriate way to treat one’s mate... Right?”
The way he phrased it as a question pissed me off. “What in fire’s sake do you think?”
“I’m just…you are not forcing her to stay against her will, are you?”
My face flushed with fury, both at him and myself. “Get off my land.”
Remy lightly grinned. “Of course, you aren’t. You are not our father.”
Feeling as though he’d dealt a physical blow to my chest, I stumbled backward. I was not holding her against her will. Not really. It was for her own good. I was attempting to care for her…perhaps against her will.
With Remy’s parting remark, my stomach soured and I wondered if I was more like our father than Remy was, more like him than I’d ever realized. I would never lay a hand on Chyna in a harmful way, not ever. But…there were ways of harming someone other than physical blows. Mental torment was just as bad sometimes. Where was the line?
Heading back inside, I passed my bedroom door and listened to her shallow, even breathing. She was finally sleeping. I slipped inside and stood next to the bed, watching her chest rise and fall. I tried to imagine sending her away, but I couldn’t do it. I could not let her go. It had nothing to do with wanting to control her or with anything Father had done to Mother. It was purely because I felt as though I’d die if she wasn’t close by—as though I’d cease to exist. I needed to be able to make sure she was safe. I needed to be able to touch her, to reassure myself that she was okay.
I didn’t know much about her, only that she was my queen and that she had a feisty nature, even up against a dragon. I needed time to learn her, to know how to please her. Maybe then she would want to stay. I just needed a little more time. I could not let her go yet. That probably made me more like Father than I cared to admit, but I would learn as much about her as quickly as possible, then do whatever it took to make her happy.
Chyna whimpered in her sleep, and my heart skipped a beat. How could I leave her alone when she might be plagued by nightmares?
I eased into bed behind her and pulled her onto my chest. She curled up and sighed happily. Even asleep, her body knew that I was hers. If she’d just listen to her body, she’d know that we were meant to be.
Remy’s words came back to me as I relaxed under Chyna. I couldn’t stop thinking about our parents and their relationship, or the relationships in our kingdom in general. Women were seen as inferior purely on the basis of their physical strength. They stayed close to home and maintained the household. They had been fine with it, or so I’d thought. My mother had been fine with it. Hadn’t she? They’d all been fine with the males being in charge.
Our kingdom had been scorned and mocked by some, though. While the role of females in most of the kingdoms around us had progressed, my father very strictly forbade such a change in ours. Remy and I had questioned very little when we took over. This new world was very different from any of the kingdoms in the old world. My words—my thinking—had seemed to greatly offend Chyna.
I had much to think about and even more to figure out. While Chyna napped, I wracked my brain trying to determine my next course of action. I wanted to do the correct thing for my queen. I wanted to please her even if what she wanted did not please me.
14
Chyna
When I awoke, Blaise was nowhere in sight, and there was a plate of food on the chair next to the bed. I sat up, feeling better than I had that morning and grabbed the plate. I was starving. The sandwich and chips were much better than the runny eggs and burnt toast Blaise had brought me earlier. But who could mess up a sandwich? I felt even better after eating and scooted higher up on the bed to rest my back against the headboard.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t get up and walk around without risking opening my foot back up. I was trapped in Blaise’s bed, a bed I’d just spent one of the best nights of my life in a few nights earlier. The sheets smelled like him—spicy, masculine, warm, and comforting. If I was being completely honest, I did want him nearby. What I didn’t want was to give up my independence. A relationship, by definition, would force me to do that. Wouldn’t it? I’d have to compromise, have someone keep tabs on me, answer to another person, make sacrifices. Yet, here I still was. Leave it to me to have a one night stand that never ended.
As though thinking about him had conjured him up, Blaise walked into the room, fresh from a shower. The towel wrapped around his waist, slung low on his hips, did nothing to hide the bulge he sported. His hair was wet, and droplets of water ran down his chest and abs to meet the top of that towel. Torture. Pure agony.
My body wanted him, no doubt about that, but it would seem that, in other ways, he and I were completely incompatible. He seemed stuck in a mindset that hadn’t been popular in almost a hundred years ago.
“Hey.”
He wanted a maid, I reminded myself. He wanted to control me and keep me like a possession, I reminded myself. The huge dummy in me didn’t care, though. It reacted with a wild force, even stronger than when I’d first seen him.
“Chyna…” Blaise stepped toward me, his expression strained. “Stop looking at me that way.”
I blinked and felt my face flush. “I’m feeling much better.”
“I will dress, and then I will help you bathe. Cherry and Cezar are coming over later.” He walked over to the stacks of new clothes and took a T-shirt off the top of one of the stacks and a pair of jeans off another before stepping back into the bathroom, presumably to dress. “Since you’re feeling better, they will take you home.”
My heart sank. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and had to bite my lip to stop tears from forming. It made zero sense, but I wanted to cry and demand an explanation.
A minute passed, and then Blaise came out dressed in the brand-new clothes. His feet were still bare as he walked across to me. I wasn’t completely sure, but I thought I could hear—maybe feel—a thought. It didn’t make any sense, though:
She is free. I am not my father.
“I will carry you to the tub, and you can do the rest. You’ll feel better when you are clean.”
“What changed?”
“Changed?”
“Yeah, this whole time you’ve been like ‘Stay, stay, don’t leave,’ and now you’re all set to get rid of me. What gives?”
“I am not set to get rid of you. But I would like you to want to be here.” He ran his fingers through his hair and scowled. “I am not a demon.”
“I’ll never want to be your maid, Blaise. Or your little housewife. That’s not…it’s not for me.” I forced myself to hold his gaze and ignore the huge dummy inside that wanted him to beg me to stay. “I’m not interested in being controlled.”
“I am not controlling—” Blaise’s raised voice showed his frustration. “I am not controlling. I am just conditioned to think of things in a certain way.”
“You cannot boss me around.”
“For fire’s sake, Chyna, I’m letting you go. What more do you want?”
“You’re letting me go? There you go again.”
I could feel the frustration rolling off him. Flexing his hands at his sides, he glared at me. “I do not want you to leave. I am trying to give you what you want.”
; By that time, I’d gotten control of myself again and my guard was back up. My conviction to get away was restored. Shaking my head, I averted my eyes. “You and I will never work.”
He came toward me, his anger and frustration still seemingly tangible, but I wasn’t afraid of him. Like I weighed nothing, he scooped me up and carried me toward the bathroom. “I did not want this, either. I did not walk into that bar expecting that I was going to find my mate. I was perfectly contented with my life.”
“Were you just looking to find someone to fuck?” Why I cared, why I was asking, was beyond me.
His eyes narrowed. “And if I was?”
I jerked my head toward him, a sour taste in the back of my throat. What could I say to that? Not a whole helluvalot. “Then we would’ve both been there for the same reason.”
“You were there…”
“Yes. Yes, I was. I was looking to get laid. Just looking for someone, anyone, to fuck. I was sick and tired of being a virgin. In fact, until you walked in and got in my face, your buddy Armand was on the fast track to getting lucky.” I wanted to hurt Blaise for some reason. Probably because picking a fight made it easier for me to follow through on leaving.
I watched as the dragon flashed across Blaise’s face. His eyes burned bright reddish gold, and his skin became a dark shade of crimson with golden veins threaded through it. He held me tighter, closer to his body, but his grip was still careful.
“Do not say that to me.” The low growl was a warning for me to stop toying with him.
I couldn’t stop myself, though. “If Armand would have just been a little quicker, he and I would have been long gone and bumping uglies by the time you arrived. He would have been my first instead of you.”
Blaise put me down in the bathtub and let out a sound that seemed to be a combination of growl and roar. “You are mine. If you desire for me to prove it to you, for me to fight to win you, I will. I will challenge any dragon for the right to claim you. I’ll chain you to my bed if I flaming have to.” His fists opened slightly to accommodate the huge claws that were extending from his fingertips.
Fire Breathing Blaise (Dragons of the Bayou Book 3) Page 6