The Day I Got Zapped with Super Powers

by Tom McLaughlin

  “That’s the beauty of the curtain pant!” Grandad said, pulling the cord and drawing Harry’s trousers together like a pair of curtains.

  “ow … ow … OW!”

  Harry said.

  “Sorry, too tight?” Grandad cut Harry a bit of slack in his slacks.

  “Remember, if anyone asks, we’re on our way to a fancy-dress party,” Harry said. “Now, let’s get out of here.” He peered around the curtain. “Whoa…” He gulped, diving to the floor. “I think I just saw the same car as before.”

  “Back door?” Grandad asked.

  “No.” Harry shook his head. “One of the agents will go round the back.”

  “How are we going to get out of here?!”

  “Up!” Harry said, bolting up the stairs. “Come on!”

  Harry and Grandad ran all the way up to the top of the house. Harry peeked out of the window. Sure enough, the two agents were getting out of the car – still in dark glasses, still looking like they wanted to lock Harry up for the rest of his life.

  Grandad spied them out of the window, too. “Blimey, you weren’t kidding, were you? They look terrifying.”

  Harry and Grandad watched as the man went to the front door and the woman went round the back. “Told you,” Harry said, opening the window.

  “WHOA! YOU CAN’T GO OUT THERE – WHAT IF YOU FALL?” Grandad grabbed Harry’s arm.

  “SHH! I won’t fall. I can fly, remember?”

  “What am I supposed to do?” Grandad asked.

  “You’re coming with me,” Harry said.

  “WHAT IF I FALL?”

  “I’ll catch you.”

  “You’ll catch me? I’ve seen you play cricket,” Grandad said. “No way. You can’t make me go out there.”

  “Yes, I can,” Harry replied, grabbing Grandad by his cape.

  “Darn your super strength!” Grandad said helplessly as they scrambled out the window and clung onto the roof.

  “Shhh!” Harry said. “No screaming!”

  “Why would I scream?” Grandad asked.

  Harry held Grandad tightly by the hand and they soared into the air.

  “AAAAAGHRRRRRR!!!” Grandad began screaming before quickly clamping his free hand over his mouth.

  “Did you hear something?” Agent G asked Agent S on the radio.

  “I did but there’s nothing unusual here,” she said, peering over the garden fence.

  “Won’t they see us?” Grandad asked. “I mean, flying people is a little obvious… Oh my word, this is amazing!” he said, trying not to squeal with delight.

  “I’ve got an idea.” Harry looked around. “We’ll catch a ride!” he said, spotting an aeroplane flying by.

  Harry waited for the right second then zoomed upwards to catch the tail wing of an EasyPlane flight back from Málaga. Agent G and Agent S looked up as the sound of the plane roared above, Harry and Grandad hidden from sight at the back of it.

  “YOU SEE? EASY!” Harry said.

  “WHOOOO HOOOO! I’M SURFING ON A PLANE!”

  Grandad whooped.

  “Time to say goodbye,” Harry said, and they jumped off. “Prepare for landing!”

  “WHY CAN’T WE JUST FLY TO THE WAREHOUSE?”

  “BECAUSE IT’S IN THE OTHER DIRECTION AND PEOPLE MIGHT JUST NOTICE A BOY AND HIS GRANDAD FLYING THROUGH THE SKY! WE’D BE ALL OVER SOCIAL MEDIA WITHIN SECONDS – AND WHO DO YOU THINK WILL BE MONITORING ALL OF THAT?”

  “THE BAD GUYS?”

  “EXACTLY. NO, LET’S WALK.”

  “WALK?! THAT’S SO BORING!”

  “WALKING WAS FINE FOR YOU UP UNTIL ABOUT FOUR MINUTES AGO. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE!” Harry shouted. “YOU KNOW, NOT DRAW any attention to ourselves.” Harry lowered his voice as they came in to land on the high street next to a burger van. “Just act casual.”

  “OK, but you do know we’re wearing curtains?” Grandad huffed, trying to catch his breath while picking the flies out of his teeth.

  “It’s a Saturday night. We’ll blend right in.” Harry grinned at the sight of several suspicious-looking characters queued up by the cash machine, preparing for a night on the town. “Look, I can see three Spider-Men and several Catwomen already.”

  “And a bank robber, too!” Grandad pointed as a man with a balaclava – and what looked like a gun – walked to the front of the line.

  “Oh, yeah!” Harry smiled. “Very convincing … hang on, wait a second!”

  “GET DOWN, OR YOU’LL GET IT!”

  the bank robber yelled at the security guard who was loading the bank’s takings into a van.

  “That’s not a costume!” Grandad said. “What are you going to do?” he asked Harry.

  “Me? Why me?”

  “This is what you superhero guys do! There’s crime that needs fighting – right here in front of our eyes! You can’t just do nothing.”

  “He’s got a gun!” Harry said, crouching behind a postbox.

  “SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!” a girl shrieked as the rest of the early-evening revellers saw what was happening.

  “I could call the police,” Harry said shakily to Grandad. “Can I borrow your phone?”

  “I can call the police! Anyone can do that! If I had superpowers, I’d fly over there and give him a taste of his own medicine – you know, throw him a kung fu thwack or two. If you don’t do something, one of those wannabe superheroes will! Just because they have the costumes, it doesn’t make them invincible. You need to be decisive.”

  “Grandad, now is not the time for one of your words of the day.”

  “That’s just a regular word! My point is: they’ll end up hurt. Or worse. Do you really want that on your conscience?”

  Just as he said that, one of the Spider-Men cried out, “I’LL SAVE YOU!” and stumbled over towards the bank robber.

  Grandad raised an eyebrow at Harry.

  “Fine, I’ll save the day! Happy now?” Harry took a deep breath and

  WHOOOOOOORRRR!

  he blew the Spider-Man off his feet and away from danger.

  Harry thought for a moment – he just needed a bit of superpowered confidence. Muttering, “Nothing to worry about; it’s just a man with a big gun…” under his breath, Harry walked over to the robber. “Excuse me… EXCUSE ME! Mr Robber!” Harry called out. “I wondered if you can help me?”

  7 p.m.

  “WHAT?” The armed robber turned around to face Harry.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I always fancied being an armed robber. Are you taking anyone on?”

  “What are you talking about?” the armed robber said, looking utterly confused.

  “I mean, what a great job!” Harry said, thinking on his feet. “The pay is great; the hours are pretty good, too. It’s something that you can do anywhere. In many ways, it’s ideal.”

  “HEL-LO! I’M ROBBING THIS GUY HERE! SORRY, I DON’T KNOW YOUR NAME, MATE.” The robber pointed at the security guard who was cowering on the ground.

  “Guy Mate,” he answered.

  “What?”

  “My name’s Guy Mate.”

  “Weird…” the robber remarked. “I’ve forgotten what I was saying… No, it’s gone completely.”

  “I hate it when that happens,” Guy frowned. “So annoying.”

  “So, anyway … maybe, I could be your apprentice,” Harry said. “I could put things in bags or wave the gun around.”

  “Oh no!” the robber replied. “Guns are dangerous. I’d never have a real gun. I made this one out of wood.”

  “No way! That’s made of wood!” Harry said, reaching for the gun.

  Guy got up off the floor and the three of them stood around admiring the robber’s handiwork.

  “It took me ages. Truth be told, I’m pretty proud of it,” the robber said, looking at the gun lovingly.

  “You’d never know. To be honest, I was pretty scared for a second there. I really thought you had a gun,” Guy said, impressed.

  “So, can you hand over all the m
oney please, Guy?” the robber said, pulling out a massive bag with “SWAG” written on the side.

  “You know what? I don’t think so,” Guy said.

  “Please, or I’ll shoot you,” the robber said.

  “No, you won’t. Not with a wooden gun. I mean it’s good, but it’s not that good!” Guy chuckled.

  “Well…” the robber said. “Maybe I could hit you with it?”

  Before the robber could grab the gun, Harry threw it in the air, over the building and into outer space.

  “What on earth? That’s some throw you’ve got!” said Guy.

  “I’m going to have to make another one now,” the robber whined.

  “I don’t think they’ll let you do that in prison.” Harry said, pointing to the ten police cars that had turned up – along with a TV crew and about a hundred passers-by, who were all filming it on their phones.

  “So you don’t really want to be an armed robber?” the robber said, looking rather sadly at Harry.

  “Nah, I’m thinking about being a writer – either that or a YouTuber. This is just a bit of research really,” Harry said nonchalantly.

  “YouTuber? At least mine is a real job,” the robber huffed. “Kids today, eh?”

  At that, the police pounced on the robber, cuffed him and led him away to a life inside. Harry bowed to huge applause from the crowd.

  “That was amazing!” Grandad smiled approvingly. “You saved the day.”

  “We need to go,” Harry whispered, looking at all the cameras. “This isn’t exactly the low profile I had in mind.” But before there was time to escape, a blood-curdling scream filled the air.

  “AAAAARRRRRRGH!”

  Harry, like everyone else, turned round to see where the noise was coming from.

  A woman was shrieking in the middle of the crowd and pointing off into the distance. “There’s an out-of-control school bus hurtling towards that home for orphaned kittens, the one between the fireworks factory and the match factory.

  “SOMEONE DOOOOO SOMETHING!”

  she yelled.

  “Oh, come on!” Harry snapped. “I didn’t even know Basingstoke had a fireworks factory!” Behind him, everyone was frozen in horror as the bus hurtled along the road with terrifying speed – one tyre had burst and the brakes were screeching like fingernails down a blackboard. Harry looked over at Grandad – who was raising his eyebrows at him.

  “Oh, fine!” Harry sighed. He took a deep breath before flying like an arrow towards the bus.

  “Is it a bird?!” a woman asked.

  “Is it a plane?!” another gasped.

  “No … it’s the boy who stopped the robbery. I’d recognize that pair of curtains anywhere,” someone else clarified.

  Harry flew through the air as fast as he could. The bus was coming towards him at incredible speed. His eyes suddenly became like telescopes, zooming in on the terrified driver. It was like whatever his body needed in any given moment became a superpower – super parping power with the bin, super flying speed to escape the baddies, super confidence with the bank robber…

  Harry could see the bus was full of screaming kids, which was a bit weird for a Saturday, but there you go. He swooped down, closed his eyes and stretched out his hands to cushion the impact as the bus came towards him.

  “NO BRAKES!” the driver yelled.

  “I gathered,” Harry managed to answer back, his face squished against the windscreen. “What about handbrake, or reverse?”

  “Nope.” The driver shrugged.

  “What does work?” Harry asked.

  “Ow … OW … OW…!”

  “The windscreen wipers,” the driver said as they hit Harry in the face.

  “PLEASE TURN THEM OFF!”

  Harry dug his feet into the road, using himself as the brakes.

  “Hot … HOT!” Harry looked down as his feet began to billow with smoke.

  “IT’S WORKING!” the driver cried as the bus began to slow down.

  The bus screeched and lurched from side to side against Harry’s super strength. Harry looked behind him as the large building that housed the orphaned kittens grew bigger and bigger. Was he about to be squashed? As if that wasn’t enough, he felt like he was about to catch fire for the second time that day. There was one last screech as Harry dug his feet even harder into the road, making long skid tracks through the tarmac.

  “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” he yelled. And it worked. The bus stopped, with centimetres to spare. Harry had saved the bus full of kids and the orphaned kittens – all without igniting the fireworks factory.

  He let out a huge sigh of relief, which turned into a loud scream:

  “WAAAAH! SOOO HOOOOOT!”

  Harry ran in circles, his shoes smoking like a couple of chimneys, before spotting the fountain in the town square and jumping in head first. There was a huge sizzle, like when you spill milk on a hot stove, as his smoking feet hit the water.

  “OH MY DAYS!” Harry said, his head rising above the water. “That’s better!” Rubbing his eyes, he saw the crowd surrounding him: all with open mouths, all filming him, all trying to comprehend what they’d seen, what he’d just done. “Anywaaaay…” Harry smiled as he emerged, dripping wet. “See you around. Gotta fly!” He took off into the sky again, grabbing Grandad’s hand as he went.

  “Did he just steal a pensioner?” the robber asked. “And you say I belong in jail…”

  8 p.m.

  “That was amazing!” Grandad roared with delight as they zoomed away into the night sky. Harry looked behind them; cameras and flashing lights looked back.

  “And we’re flying again!” Grandad whooped with happiness.

  “Yes, well, Operation: Sneaking Through the Town Unnoticed didn’t quite go to plan, did it?” Harry grumbled.

  “You were amazing,” Grandad said, laughing. “This is amazing! Everything is amazing!”

  “Now where’s a word of the day when you need one?” Harry laughed.

  “You are really good at this! Listen, why don’t you just accept it? This is your new life – we could be rich!” Grandad shouted.

  “How will being a superhero make us rich?” Harry asked.

  “Well, you could charge by the hour. Or maybe by distance – you know, if there’s an emergency on the other side of the world. You could charge for each mile you have to fly.”

  “I’m not a black cab!” Harry said. “And what if someone who doesn’t have much money needs me? Do I only help rich people?”

  “OK, well, what about endorsements? You could be sponsored by an expensive brand.”

  “What … ‘This life-saving rescue from a burning building was brought to you in association with Tesco’s – because every little helps’?” Harry asked.

  “OK, maybe not rich, but you could be famous. Who doesn’t want to be famous?” Grandad asked.

  “I don’t!” Harry protested. “Imagine not being able to do anything or go anywhere without people wanting this, that or the other from you? No, thanks! I like saving people, I like helping, but this superhero business isn’t for me. I’m a kid. All I want to do is go back to my normal life – one where people aren’t constantly filming me and where various parts of my anatomy don’t catch on fire.” Harry looked down at his still-smoking trainers. “I mean, these are ruined – my favourite pair! No thank you! And think of everyone who’s after me. Not only have I got those secret agents chasing me for my superpowers, but now I have the media and the police too! Look, there’s a helicopter following us now. Oh, this is just perfect … now I feel sick … all this flying around has made me feel bilious.”

  “All I am saying is that this is pretty cool! Being a superhero is cool! You did great things tonight; you saved people’s lives. If I had your powers…” Grandad looked wistfully at Harry.

  “THIS IS THE POLICE,”

  the helicopter boomed out from its tannoy. “PLEASE PUT THE PENSIONER DOWN. STEALING OLD PEOPLE IS AGAINST THE LAW!”

  Harry sighed. This always ha
ppened with superheroes. The police think they’re bad guys and turn against them. It happens every time.

  “I’M NOT BEING STOLEN! WE’RE RELATED!” Grandad shouted back to the helicopter, trying to explain. “We like each other.” Grandad gave Harry a squeeze.

  “Look at that poor pensioner – he’s clinging on for dear life,” the helicopter pilot said to his co-pilot.

  “You were right,” Agent S said to Agent G, pulling out her phone. “They couldn’t stay undercover for long.” News of Harry’s adventures had spread across social media and the story had been picked up by international TV channels.

  “What’s he been up to?” Agent G asked.

  “Saving a bus full of kids as well as a rescue centre full of orphaned kittens, and foiling an armed robbery, so it seems.” Agent S smiled.

  “Perfect … he’s perfect! Who’d have thought it? We just need to find him before anyone else does,” Agent G said.

  “That’s not going to be easy – the police and every news channel in the world wants to know who he is – and the old man. They’ve even got a name for him – Smoky the Curtain Boy,” Agent S said. “I think it has something to do with his feet and his costume.”

  “That may be the worst name I’ve ever heard,” Agent G replied with a snigger. “We can get rid of that as soon as he’s working for us. Now all we need to know is where to find him.”

  “He’s being followed by a police helicopter.” Agent S pointed at the location on her phone.

  “Of course!” Agent G said.

  “What?” Agent S asked.

  “Look where he’s heading.” Agent G pointed on the map.

  “Back to our base?” Agent S said. “Why?”

  “He wants answers,” Agent G said, as they got in the car and sped off down the road. “He’s smart. He’ll be perfect for what we need … once the tests are complete … once we have perfected the formula for the laser,” he stared straight ahead. “Now let’s capture ourselves a Smoky the Curtain Boy!” The name broke his concentration and he smirked again. “No, it’s still the worst name I’ve ever heard.”