They disappear into the bar and I catch my breath. Closing my eyes, I let my head bounce against the brick wall. She’s here. My heart slowly begins to calm, I thought that I was seconds away from having a heart attack it was slamming against my chest so fucking hard.
Once I’m composed enough, I push off of the wall and slip inside of the bar. I stay just inside of the entrance and watch where she seems to be serving tables. Once she turns her back to go toward the bar, presumably to put in an order, I make my way to the darkest corner.
I wait for her to notice a new man in her section. She doesn’t disappoint. My Roxanne is fucking smart. She doesn’t look at my face, her eyes trained at my boots as she makes her way toward me. I doubt she realizes it’s even me, yet.
My teeth sink into the corner of my lip, my heart beginning to slam against my chest yet again. I close my eyes for a brief moment and inhale as she arrives. I can smell her, through the beer and rank building that surrounds us, I can smell her. My Roxanne, vanilla and lavender, my Firefly.
“What can I do ya for?” she asks, her slight Texas accent breaking through.
Opening my eyes, I lift my gaze up to hers and I know the moment she’s recognized me for who I am. Her breath hitches, she gasps and rocks back on her heels. I expect her to turn and run, but she doesn’t. She’s frozen to her spot, her eyes fixated on me as much as mine are fixated on her.
“Coors Light,” I rasp.
Tears fill her eyes, but the wetness doesn’t fall. I watch as she blinks back her tears, her chest rising and falling with her heavy breaths. “Coors Light is the only thing you’ll get here, Tanner,” she states. Her voice is wavering, her attempt to be strong foiled by her raw emotion.
“Doubt that, Firefly,” I snort.
Her head jerks, her eyes narrow and I watch that firelight explode from deep inside of her. I watch, waiting for her to let it out, I’m disappointed when she doesn’t. She sucks in a breath, taking a step back. She doesn’t say a word turning around, I watch her ass as she walks back to the bar.
When she returns, I see a bit of that firelight again, she’s pissed off. She slams my beer down and doesn’t say another word. It’s fine. I’d rather have some emotion from her rather than indifference. Anger I can handle, anger I can deal with. Indifference would be harder to turn into desire and love. Anger walks that fine line between love and hate. I’ll take that shit any day.
The rest of the evening she attempts to ignore me, but I don’t let her. I stay at my table in the corner, beckoning her over every so often to either bring me beer, peanuts, or water. I keep her ass working all night long, until closing.
Bartender yells last call around one-thirty in the morning. Lifting my hand, I motion for Roxanne. I watch her stomp her foot in exasperation before she stalks toward me. When she’s in front of me, her hip pops out and she places her fist there.
“What now?” she snaps.
“Just asking for my check, Firefly,” I chuckle.
Her eyes narrow and I watch her swing around and hurry toward the bar. The bartender looks at me, then down at her. They talk for a moment and she shakes her head as he hands her the bill. I narrow my gaze on him, watching him and waiting for him to say or do something, he doesn’t. In fact, he doesn’t even hold my gaze for a full thirty seconds before he turns from me and begins wiping the counter down.
“Here,” Roxanne announces, slapping the bill in the center of my table. Reaching out for her, I wrap my fingers around her wrist to stop her from running away from me, again. “Houston,” she whispers, her eyes moving from my hand on her wrist, to meet my own gaze.
“We need to talk. I’m not leaving until we do, so it can be here, outside, or at your place.”
Her eyes move from side to side, then back to me. “After work. There’s an all-night diner just up the street,” she mumbles.
Digging some money out of my pocket, I release her arm and toss the bills on the table without even looking at the tab. I only ordered three beers, and the nuts and waters were free. She can keep the hefty tip, fuck, she can have all my money for all I care.
Leaving the bar, I don’t look back. I’ll wait for her outside and if she tries to sneak away from me, I’ll just have to hunt her down, and I know she won’t be happy when I find her. We’re having a conversation, and the end result will be her on the back of my bike. I’m fucking done with this shit. This is my last ditch effort to bring my woman home.
ROXANNE
“Who was that?” Melodie hisses as I count my till. I shake my head, my hands trembling and not because of my meds, but because of my rattling nerves.
“Houston,” I admit.
She gasps, but I don’t have time to discuss this. He’s waiting outside and I can’t let her see him. I can’t let her see his cut. I have a feeling, a strong suspicion, that she knows exactly who the Notorious Devils are. I don’t know if she would be okay with him, or freak the fuck out.
“You’re not going anywhere with him, are you? How did he find you?” she demands.
Inhaling a deep breath, I let it out as I take my apron off and hang it on the hook behind the bar. Looking over my shoulder, I give her a small smile. “He just wants to talk. We’re going down to the diner. At least I’ll get a free meal out of it if nothing else, and maybe a little closure,” I smile.
“I don’t trust it,” she says.
Melodie, despite her past, is a good person. She cares about me, and I would be saying the exact same thing as she is right now, which is how I know that she cares. Lifting my hand, I wrap my fingers around her forearm and give it a squeeze.
“I’ll be okay. All-night diner, then home, I promise,” I smile.
Her eyes search mine, I don’t move my gaze away from hers, I keep my eyes focused on her own. She must approve, she lifts her chin, taking a step back. My hand falls from her forearm when she does.
“I’ll kill him if he hurts you even a little,” she announces.
I shake my head. “He wouldn’t, not in a million years,” I admit.
She doesn’t say anything else. She turns from me and heads out of the bar. Gathering my purse, I slip the strap over my shoulder and follow behind her, except she turns left and I turn right. Houston is leaning against the building, his eyes on Melodie, and he looks like he’s thinking.
“She’s my roommate,” I announce. His head jerks and his focus comes toward me.
“Yeah?” He doesn’t say anything else.
In fact, as we begin to walk, we stay in complete silence. I’m too nervous to say anything first, so I wait. We’re seated immediately, the diner full of mostly drunks looking for food to fill their bellies. We sit down, and each take hold of the sticky plastic covered menus.
I order water, Houston orders a glass of milk and then we both order food. I don’t pay attention to what he orders, I’m too fascinated over the fact that he’s going to drink a glass of milk at two in the morning to even concentrate on anything else.
“Milk?” I finally blurt out.
He chuckles. “Yeah, I drink milk before bed every night. Don’t know if it helps me sleep, probably not since I don’t really sleep much,” he shrugs.
Reaching across the table, I touch the back of his hand with my finger. “You don’t sleep?” I ask, my voice soft and gentle.
His eyes lift to mine, and I can see it. I can see the lack of sleep. His eyes are sunken in and there are dark circles beneath them. He also has a few more wrinkles than I remember, unfortunately, it doesn’t make him less handsome, only sexier to me.
“Especially not since you’ve been gone,” he murmurs. “Fuckin’ miss having you next to me.”
Taking my hand back from his, I gulp and look at my lap before I lift my gaze back to his. “I’ve told you, that part of our relationship is over, Tanner. It’s done. I’m not going back to Cash Bar, to the clubhouse, none of it. I’m staying here,” I state, trying to sound firm, but assuredly failing.
His eyes lift to mine and
he winks before his lips turn up into a grin. “Firefly, you don’t believe a word of that bullshit you just spewed, I can see it written all over your face.”
“It doesn’t matter if I believe it or not, it’s what’s going to happen, or not happen,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
Houston shakes his head, a chuckle escaping his lips. “You’re mine, Roxie. This ain’t the place for you, you belong with your family. You belong with me,” he states.
Tears fill my eyes for the second time tonight. This time I’m unable to swallow them down. They fall from my eyes, down my cheeks and I don’t even try to wipe them away.
“I’ll never have a family, Tanner. That’s why I can’t go back,” I say, my lips trembling more with each word.
Houston reaches across the table, his hand wrapping around the side of my neck, his eyes boring into mine, fierce and unyielding. He looks pissed off, hurt, and intent all at the same time. He looks like the man who wears that Devils’ cut, instead of the gentle man who held me, night after night, who fucked me when I needed it, who let me be wild and free when I needed that too.
“Stop that shit, Roxanne. I don’t want to hear it again. Nobody gives a fuck if you can get knocked up or not, especially not me. I just want you. Carson and Axe, they’re your family and you would kill them if they heard that shit you just said about not having one.”
I shake my head, my hair flying around my face, my tears falling down my cheeks. “It can never work, not ever. I cannot tie you to me, not with what lives inside of me,” I whisper. I don’t care if we’re making a scene, which I’m sure that we are. I’ve made bigger ones in my life, this is nothing.
Houston snorts. “Fucking shit, Firefly. You don’t want to tie me to the best thing that’s ever happened to me? You don’t want to tie me to the woman who calms the demons that swirl inside of my body? You don’t want to tie me to the spectacular woman that is you?”
His words are sweet, far too sweet for the likes of me. His gaze is too intense as well, lowering my eyes to the tabletop, I whisper, “Tanner, I will never get better. This is who I am. I could spiral again at any given moment. I could stop taking my meds, anything could happen.”
“I could get shot tomorrow on a run,” he snaps. Lifting my eyes to his, I gasp. “We could die at any second, Roxanne. Why would you keep the wonder and beauty that is you, away from me for even a second longer? Stop being fucking selfish.”
I jerk my head, trying to move from his grasp but his fingers only tighten around the side of my throat. “Selfish? Do you think that I don’t want you? Do you think that I want to push away the best man that has ever walked into my life? Is that what you think?” I shout.
He smirks. “There’s my Firefly, now we’re getting somewhere,” he chuckles.
“Tanner,” I hiss.
“Roxanne, you ain’t doin’ me no favors by living here, by pretending to be happy here. You’re just making Carson and me fucking miserable. You’re being selfish, we love you, we want you home.”
“You don’t know me enough to love me.”
Houston shakes his head. “You don’t go through what we went through without some kind of love. Maybe it’s not that earth-shattering shit yet, but that will come. I know what I know, and I know that I want you at my side, in my bed, and as my fuckin’ Old Lady.”
“I can’t,” I whisper.
His eyes find mine, they hold me still and he nods once. “My plans were to bring you home tonight. I see you ain’t quite ready for that. I’ll give you fourteen days. I’m stayin’ the night tonight to remind you what you’re missin’ by sulking here in Calgary. I’ll go home in the morning. I’ll be back though.”
CHAPTER SIX
HOUSTON
Roxanne doesn’t speak as we walk toward her apartment. I continuously take in my surroundings with each step that I take. This neighborhood isn’t safe enough, not for my woman. In fact, nothing but my bed, with me next to her is safe enough.
“You have to be quiet, my roommate will be asleep,” she announces as she reaches for the handle of her building’s door.
Taking a step closer, I place my palm on the small of her back, dipping my chin to look down at her. “Firefly, you need to relax. It’s just me.”
“That’s what has me all wound up. It’s you, Tanner. You, who shouldn’t be here. You, who I knew that I couldn’t resist if I ever saw again. You, who I love more than myself. You.”
Brushing my lips across hers, I shut her ass up. Her words, they fill and deflate me all at the same time. Filling her mouth with my tongue, I fuck her. Moaning at the taste of her, closing my eyes and remembering the feel of her wrapped around my cock.
Slowly, I break the kiss, my eyes taking in her pretty brown ones. Her eyes are the color of warm hot cocoa, how I never realized it before, I don’t know. Lifting my hand, I cup her jaw, my thumb tracing her soft lips.
“Let’s go inside,” I murmur.
She nods as I take a step back. Slowly, I follow her up the stairs, then down a long hallway. Frowning, I look above and notice that every other light down this hall is out. Roxanne leads me to the very end of the hall, the darkest part and slips her key into the lock.
With a simple turn and a jiggle, she opens the door and walks inside. It would take me approximately two seconds to break into this apartment, maybe less. This is fucking shoddy, and I will not allow her to stay here like this, not for one more night, let alone the fourteen days that I’ve allotted her.
Taking my phone out of my pocket, I send a text to Snake. I ask him to send a prospect here for Roxie, protection for my woman until she moves back home. He doesn’t answer right away, not that I expect him to. He’s probably curled around his own woman, asleep in bed.
Stepping through the doorway, I lock the piece of shit door behind me and then turn to face Roxanne. Her eyes are scanning the small living room and kitchen, presumably looking for any sign of her roommate.
Without a word, I walk toward her, closing the distance between us and brushing my lips across hers when I finally approach her. “Let’s go to bed, Firefly,” I rasp against her mouth. I can feel her lips tremble and then her breath escape on a sigh.
Roxanne turns from me, but she doesn’t get too far. I’m right behind her, my front pressed against her back, my hand wrapped around her hip with each small step that she takes. When we’re finally in her bedroom, I close and lock that door behind me too.
My mouth finds the side of her neck, tasting her skin I can’t hold back the moan. This is what I missed, every taste, scent, and feel of her body against mine. Sliding my hand from her hip to the waistband of her jeans, I tug the button open, then slowly pull the zipper down.
She gasps when my fingers slip beneath her panties. Roxanne lifts her hand, wrapping her fingers around the back of my neck as I continue to lick, suck and kiss her neck. I groan when my hand comes in contact with her dripping center.
“I missed you,” she admits breathlessly.
I can only grunt. If I speak, I’ll tell her some pussy assed bullshit that I’m not ready to admit aloud. I’ve confessed enough of my feelings tonight. She’s going to have to do some work for us now. The ball is in her court, so to speak. I’m coming for her, but if she pushes me away again, I won’t be coming back. I’m laying it on the line. She knows what I want, and I’m going to show her tonight, after that it’s up to her to follow through.
Roxanne’s hips shift, I groan at the feel of her sweet cunt beneath my fingertips. The way her clit feels against my index finger, the way her breathing comes in short pants as she works herself against my hand. Slipping two fingers inside of her, she whimpers. She’s tight, wet and warm. Trailing my mouth up her neck, I stop my lips next to her ear.
“You been waiting for me, Firefly?” I ask. Working my fingers inside of her, I grind my palm against her clit enjoying the little noises that escape her mouth.
Roxanne turns her head so that her lips are almost touching my own. “You k
now that I have,” she sighs against my mouth.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” I moan.
“I need you, Tanner. I need you hard,” she grinds out as her hips shift and move faster against my hand.
I chuckle, my teeth nipping her bottom lip. “You’ll get me how I give it to you. You want hard, Roxie. You need gentle.”
She shakes her head but doesn’t argue with me. Without another word, her body jerks a few times, then I feel it. I feel her pussy clench, I feel her wetness coat my hand and I know that she’s come. Before, months ago, she would let out a long moan, a sob, or cry when she reached her climax. Tonight, it was in complete silence.
Slowly, I remove my hand from her jeans. Lifting my hand to her mouth, she turns her head. I make a sucking sound with my mouth against her neck. Slipping my hand into her hair at the back of her head, I hold her still as I paint her lips with her release.
Roxanne’s lips slowly part and I slip my fingers inside of her warmth. She licks my fingers clean, knowing it’s exactly what I wanted from her.
“Strip down, I’m going to make you scream this time,” I rasp against her earlobe as I release her.
She turns around to face me, her cheeks flushed, her eyes wild and full of desire. “I can’t be loud, my roommate is right next door,” she hisses as she rips her flimsy top off.
I chuckle, shaking my head, shrugging my cut off, and hanging it on the back of her doorknob. It doesn’t take me long to strip out of my clothes, especially since Roxanne is staring at me. She licks her bottom lip, her eyes roaming over my chest and landing on my cock with a sigh.
Wrapping my fingers around my length, I slowly stroke myself. She watches my hand around my dick, and I can’t keep my eyes from her face. She looks hungry, fucking starved, which is exactly how I feel. She sits down on the edge of her small bed, spreading her thighs immediately, without direction from me.
Twisted with Chaos: A CASH BAR NOVEL Page 5