I don’t wait for his response, I didn’t even have to ask him to protect her, but I did it anyway—for myself.
“Let’s get this load dropped off, and get to the bottom of this shit,” Skinner announces.
I lift my chin and start the truck again. The road is empty, so I don’t even have to look twice in order to ease into traffic. I hear Skinner make a phone call as soon as the truck is eastbound again. It’s Gracie on the other end, I know it is, because if Roxanne were mine, I’d be calling her right now too.
“You can’t stress out, Jet. She’s a teenager, they’re assholes in general,” he chuckles. “I want you to go home to her, get a prospect or a brother to stay guard all night. Nothing too bad, just precautions,” he says.
He isn’t lying. The person on the other end only talked about Roxanne, so I think the other women are probably safe—for the most part.
After a few more murmurs into the phone, he ends the call. “Lea giving her trouble?” I ask.
Skinner chuckles. “Trouble is putting it mildly. That girl is trying to go wild, but Gracie is fighting to keep her reined in. I’m trying to talk her into giving Lea a little slack, but she’s not allowing it. I think she’s afraid she’ll fall into bed with some kid and wind up pregnant like she did,” he shrugs.
“God knows that’s all the boys her age want to do,” I point out.
Skinner stays silent for a beat, then speaks and when he does, I burst out laughing at the goddamn truth of it all. “Brother, we’re grown ass men and that’s all we want to do.”
ROXANNE
I’m bringing a bottle of water up to my lips when Snake suddenly appears in front of me. “My office, now,” he barks. I watch him turn around and stomp off toward the clubhouse building where I know his office is located.
I stand on shaky legs, looking around at Carson, Esme, and Ginger who are looking between Snake’s retreating form and me.
“What did you do?” Ginger whispers.
My eyes widen and I look at her in surprise. “Do? Me? Nothing,” I practically cry.
Her lips turn up into a smile. “I seriously feel like the principal just called you into his office and that principal is a pissed off badass,” Carson rasps.
“I’ve been on the other end of his annoyance, but never his anger. I don’t want to be you.” Ginger says as she stands, wrapping her arm in mine. “I’ll come with you. He can’t be too scary with me there,” she winks.
I look down at her, which only causes her to laugh. “Seriously, I want to know what this is about. There’s no way I’m sending you in there alone, his anger was vibrating.”
“You don’t think Houston has anything to do with this, do you?” I chance asking.
We’ve only taken a few steps toward the clubhouse, but she stops in her tracks causing me to stop as well since we’re connected. “Houston loves you, Roxie. He’d never do anything to hurt you, not ever,” she announces.
“Ginger…” I begin.
She shakes her head, her brow lifting, and I shut up. “This club is about the brotherhood, sure. But it’s also about the sisterhood. Houston knows you and Carson are close, he’d never try to do anything about that. Which is probably why he left today, better him not be here than there be tension.”
We continue walking, but I’m not seeing anything around me, not even the path I’m taking with her. I’m too busy thinking about her words. Would Houston really do that? Would he leave to save me from feeling the tension that being in the same room with one another would surely create?
Once we’re in front of Snake’s office door, I freeze. I look over to Ginger, who is watching me, waiting for me to make a move. “This doesn’t feel like it’s about Houston. This feels like something really fucking big,” I announce.
Ginger nods. “I know, babe. That’s why I came,” she admits. “This isn’t personal, Snake doesn’t give a fuck about personal shit unless it affects the club. Houston’s been a mess, but I think he’s still been working, still doing whatever he needs to do for the club, this is more than that.”
“Come in, Peaches,” Snake sighs from the office.
She smiles, hearing the exasperation in his voice. She lets her arm fall from mine and walks through the door. Slowly, an inch at a time, I follow behind her. By the time I make it in the room, closing the door behind me, I look up to see Ginger standing at his side, his hand wrapped around her hip.
“Just tell me, quickly,” I state.
Snake smiles, his angry gaze from earlier vanished, and he looks almost kind. He clears his throat, I watch his fingers grip Ginger’s hip a bit tighter. His eyes find mine, they lock in and then he speaks.
“We don’t know exactly what’s happening,” he begins.
“But?”
“Houston got a call from someone, he doesn’t know who. They made it clear they knew who you were, and that you were possibly unsafe,” he explains.
I frown, thinking of his words. Then I think about Melodie, if I’m in danger, then she probably is too. “What about my roommate, is she okay?” I ask.
Snake looks up to Ginger, then over to me. “He didn’t say anything about a roommate. Named you though. Knew you had a thing with Houston. Whoever he is, he’s watching you. Which is why I’d like you to stay here for a while.”
I shake my head. “I can’t, I have work,” I say, staring at the floor in front of me. I’m in disbelief that anyone would care enough about me to make any kind of threat.
“Could it be your ex? Has he tried to get into contact with you?” Snake gently asks. My eyes fly up to his and I shake my head.
“Tim was abusive, and he would drag me home, but I never was able to get far. I doubt he could even find me up here.”
Could it be him? I highly doubt it, besides calling Houston wouldn’t be his style. He’s more of ‘a in your face’ kind of man. He’d show up at my apartment, or work, and drag me out by my hair. No, this isn’t him. Besides, it’s been too long, and Tim never had a very long attention span. If he was going to drag me back to Texas, he’d have done it months ago, not now.
“This isn’t his style,” I say, not wishing to go into detail.
Thankfully, Snake doesn’t ask me for any details. Instead, he lifts his chin. “Until we get to the bottom of this, and I’m going to get Keys to look into it in the morning when he’s a bit more sober, I’d like you to stay here at the clubhouse. You can have a room to yourself, or stay in Houston’s if that’s what you want. He won’t be here for at least two days, maybe three,” he explains.
I think about being in Houston’s space, around his scent, his things, and in his bed again. A shiver runs through me at the idea, a thrill runs through me. I nod. “I can take Houston’s room,” I whisper.
Ginger smiles widely and Snake looks like he’s fighting his own grin. Rolling my eyes, I stand. “I do need to go back to my apartment and get some stuff. Check on my roommate, maybe bring her along?”
Snake picks up his phone and taps on it for a moment, then sets it down. “Ice will drive you,” he announces.
I shake my head. “It’s over a two-hour drive, I can’t ask anyone to go with me. I’ll run there, come back, and nobody will be bothered,” I explain.
Snake holds up his hand, his jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed. “Houston would, and rightfully so, beat my ass if I allowed you to leave here without protection. He’s trusting me to take care of you. So, either you accept Ice driving you tonight, or first thing in the morning, but you won’t leave this building without protection. You want to bring your girl here, then that’s fine, too.”
I think about Melodie being here with all of the men who raided her home not long ago. She’d assuredly recognize their cuts. When Houston wore his, we were in a highly emotional situation, this time there would be no way around seeing the name Notorious Devils in bold—everywhere.
“If you think she’s fine, then I won’t bring her,” I murmur.
Ice appears, his eyes finding mi
ne and he smiles kindly. I think about his woman, Traci. I like her a lot, she manages the Cash Bar, the place I worked when I first arrived, the place where I probably was a little too social and ended up dancing on tables more often than not. I’m sure she was glad to get rid of my ass.
“You ready, babe?” he asks.
“Are you sure, I don’t want to put you out or upset Traci,” I casually mention.
Ice grins, shaking his head. “Trac is cool. She knows the situation. Says if you stay, she’d love to have you back at the bar, she misses you.”
I blink at his words. Misses me? How could she? I was manic, had no focus, and I danced on the fucking bar almost every single shift. I don’t ask him though, I slowly stand and turn toward him. I don’t bother with the notion that I’ll be driving. Digging into my purse, I pull out my keys and extend my arm to hand them over to him.
“We’ll go in mine,” he grins.
Turning my head back to Snake, I give him a small smile. “Thank you for looking out for me. I know you don’t have to.”
He shakes his head. “I do have to. You’re part of us, Roxanne. With or without Houston, you’re part of our family.”
Turning away, I walk out of the office. His words, they hit something inside of me. Houston said it, that they are all my family. I didn’t believe him, but Snake saying it, reaffirming it, Houston was telling me the truth. He wasn’t saying anything to make me feel better, it was just the cold hard truth.
My heart skips a beat, and I wonder if I can do this, if I can be part of this big family. If I can come back here. If I can immerse myself in this… in this… family.
CHAPTER TEN
ROXANNE
I spend the next two hours thinking about Melodie. Will she freak the fuck out when she sees Ice? Will she even care? Frowning, I stare at my lap, twisting my fingers around. I try not to think about Houston, my Tanner, but I fail.
I love the man.
I love him and he’s protecting me, but we can’t be anything and staying at that clubhouse, in his room, it’s going to kill me. He’ll be all around me, surrounding me, without even being there. I’m not sure that this move is the best thing that could happen with my mental health. Then again, the masochistic woman inside of me is fucking excited.
“Whatever’s workin’ in that pretty little head of yours needs to come out. You can’t bottle your shit in, Roxie,” Ice announces as he turns down my street.
Cringing, I look around my crappy neighborhood, wondering what he sees when he looks at the crackheads and homeless lining the alleys. When he sees the bars on the windows of every building. I lied when I told Houston that this place was decently safe. It’s not.
This street is dangerous, and I take a chance with my life every single time that I walk to work. But really what do I have to live for? I’ll never have children, I don’t have a man and I can’t ever have a healthy relationship with one. I don’t have a real family, and I never will.
If I died, people would maybe miss me for a moment, then they would move on with their lives and eventually I would just be this memory that faded away of this girl they once knew.
“What’s the point of being careful with my life?” I accidentally say aloud.
The truck comes to a halt, my body jerks, but I don’t look over to Ice. I can feel his gaze as he stares at me, waiting for me to look over to him. I avoid it, just like I avoid everything in my life. He clears his throat before speaking.
“Houston wouldn’t like to hear that shit. He thinks your life is worth the time and care,” he says. His words surprise me a little, though they shouldn’t. He’s right. Houston cares, way too fucking much.
Looking down at my hands, I tilt my head and lift it to look over to Ice. “He shouldn’t. I’m a lost cause.” Ice barks out a harsh laugh but otherwise doesn’t comment. “You think it’s funny?” I ask.
He shakes his head once. “I think you’re being stupid as fuck, and a bitch,” he announces.
My head jerks at his words. I feel as if he’s physically slapped me. “Excuse me?” I whisper.
Ice lifts his hand, running his fingers through his hair. “You heard me,” he snorts. “That man has drunk himself stupid pining over your crazy ass. He wants you for you, not to fix you. Not to make you better, or different, but he wants you and your crazy. You’re being a fucking cunt.”
With those words, he exits the truck, slamming the door behind him. I jump when the noise vibrates through the pickup cab. I don’t move though. I keep my eyes focused on the man who is so passionately angry with me for hurting his friend. He loves Houston. He loves him maybe even more than I do. He is truly his brother. I’ve hurt Houston and in turn hurt his brothers. Maybe I am a bitch, but I’m saving him and nobody understands that.
Climbing out of the truck, my battered heart full of anger. “Fuck you,” I shout.
Ice’s back straightens and he turns around, a cocky smirk on his lips. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “Fuck you. I’m saving him from me. Why don’t you people get that shit?” I ask, throwing my hands in the air.
I don’t care that we look like crazies fighting in the middle of the sidewalk. This street is full of insane people, I am not the only one.
“Saving him from yourself,” he mutters. His brows furrow and he shakes his head. “Maybe he don’t want that. Maybe he wants all that you are,” he points out.
“This counseling session sucks balls,” I announce, crossing my arms over my chest.
Ice shakes his head. “Not into that head shrinking shit, all I know is that shit is uneasy at the clubhouse, and has been since you left. Not only for Houston but for Carson, and in turn, Ace. All that shit revolves around you and your shit. You got a whole family worried about you.”
“I never asked for that,” I whisper.
He shakes his head, his eyes focused on mine, holding mine hostage and I’m unable to even blink, let alone move. “Don’t matter, Roxanne. That’s what love is. You don’t ask for it, but fuck, there it is. You think Traci asked for a man like me to love her? You think I don’t run her ass through the wringer at every turn? You think that I don’t thank the fucking maker every goddamn day that she puts up with my dumbass? Let Houston thank his maker for you, babe. Trust me, you won’t regret it, not for a goddamn minute.”
His words hit me. They slam into me, and my heart skips a beat. Could he be right? Could Houston be truly happy with me?
“Let’s get my stuff and get back to the clubhouse,” I whisper.
Ice shakes his head. “Fuck, you are one stubborn bitch,” he mutters.
I don’t respond to his words, choosing to pretend as if I haven’t heard them. He isn’t wrong. I am what he says that I am. I am stubborn, but for good reason.
We make our way to my apartment, and I’m glad to find it empty. I quickly pack my bag, then sit down to call Melodie. I don’t feel like leaving her a note is the right thing to do, although it would be a lot fucking easier at this point.
“Hello?” she asks. Clearing my throat, I explain the situation, well as much of it as I can. I tell her that I need to stay with Carson for a little bit. I lie and say that she needs my help with Axe since she’s becoming further along in her pregnancy. “So you’re going to be gone? What are you going to tell our boss?” she asks.
I curse, thinking about the waitressing job. “I’ll call him, don’t worry. If you need anything while I’m gone, call my cell, I’ll have it with me.”
There’s a long pause, then she inhales deeply. “You’re going to be safe right? I mean, you aren’t telling me much, but this feels like it’s a little scary, Roxie.”
“I’m fine. I’ll be back in no time,” I say brightly.
We hang up, but I can tell that she’s uneasy. Melodie and I have had our ups and downs. Her past worries me when it comes to the Notorious Devils, but I know that she is genuine in her concern for me, as I am with my concern for her. I think that she needs more help than she even le
ts on. I wish that I could do more for her, but I’m barely keeping my own head afloat.
“You ready?” Ice asks. He’s standing next to my front door, his arms crossed across his chest, his feet planted wide.
Inhaling deeply, I look around the apartment, wondering if this will be the last time that I see it. I’ve abandoned so many living situations over the years, so many homes, I wonder if this is just another abandonment.
I flinch when I think about the little trailer behind the Cash Bar. Another abandoned place. I hurt Carson when I left there and didn’t go back. I could see it in her eyes, she fixed it up for me, got it ready for my return, but I didn’t go back.
“I’m ready,” I lie.
HOUSTON
Cursing, I pull into the clubhouse in Regina. All of the product has been dropped off with the contact, but goddamn I’m tired as shit. Skinner is too. There is no way we’ll be able to head back tonight and that kills me. We have another six and a half hours before we can be home, but first, we need some goddamn sleep.
My adrenaline from the phone call earlier is starting to subside. I’m suddenly more exhausted than I have ever been, or at least that’s how I’m feeling.
“You cool?” Skinner asks as I shift the truck into park.
Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through my short hair, well it’s longer than it’s ever been, but still short by most biker standards. “I don’t know. I want to turn and head back toward the clubhouse, toward Roxanne, but I’m too fucking tired to make it there,” I admit.
Skinner clears his throat. “Me too,” he admits. “This whole run has me fucking beat. We need a few hours rest,” he suggests.
“Yeah.”
Climbing out of the truck, he does the same on the passenger side. Originally, my plan was to get a few beers and get laid while I was here, hoping that one, or two, of these bitches could make me forget Roxanne for a moment or two.
Those plans are now thwarted. I couldn’t think about anyone else right now, not even if I tried. I’m so fucking worried about that phone call, about her, and it doesn’t help my already fucked up state of mind when it comes to her.
Twisted with Chaos: A CASH BAR NOVEL Page 8