Reva Eiler was still smoldering about the dance. It seemed that Amanda Caulden was put on this earth to make her life miserable. Reva’d had a chance at a dream like Hank Montgomery and who shows up but Miss Lady of the Manor, acting as if she didn’t even want to go to a dance with Hank. Ha! Reva thought. Amanda would have done everything she could to get his attention, such as throwing herself at a drunken Sam Ryan, then acting like Sam was trying to attack her. Dear Hank had fallen for all of it.
As Reva started to cross the street she saw one of the Caulden limousines stop in front of the jewelry store and the chauffeur get out and open the back door. Out stepped the man Amanda was supposed to be engaged to—when she wasn’t chasing after Hank, Reva thought bitterly. She watched as the tall, thin, dark man tried the jewelry store door then looked puzzled when it was locked. He went to look in the empty window where Mr. Robbins displayed the jewelry during the week. He was awfully good-looking, Reva thought, and grudgingly admired Amanda’s taste in men.
Quickly, Reva crossed the street. “It’s Sunday,” she said, and the man turned to look at her. Reva felt a little chill run down her back. He was a haughty-looking man, almost as if his spine were steel instead of flesh and blood, but there was something else in there, too, that Reva recognized as a kindred spirit. He looked cold on the outside but she imagined there was passion underneath. He was trying his best to look down his nose at her bright lipstick and the brilliant turquoise hat she was wearing, but she felt his interest in her. Wouldn’t it serve Amanda right if she had a fling with her boyfriend?
“It’s Sunday and the shop is closed,” Reva said again.
“Yes, of course,” Taylor said and looked away from the woman. She was making him feel quite strange. He started back toward the car.
“Mr. Robbins lives just a block over and he’ll be home from church now. I could take you to him and maybe he’d open the store for you.” She looked up at him. “That is, if you wanted to buy something important—like, say, a diamond engagement ring, maybe.” She’d noticed that Amanda wore no ring, and it made sense that he’d want to put his brand on her after seeing the way Amanda came home last night. Reva saw a flicker in those dark eyes and knew she’d guessed right.
“If you’ll give me directions,” Taylor began.
“No, we’ll walk. Give your driver the day off. Besides, you’ll need somebody to try on the ring. Amanda and I are about the same size.”
Taylor frowned. This young woman was entirely too forward, too garishly painted, and obviously not of his class, but he allowed himself to be led away toward the jeweler’s house. Getting the ring was very important to his future.
Two hours later, when he left the jewelry store, he was smiling. Miss Eiler really was a vulgar, loud, uneducated person, but there was something about her…
“You want to get somethin’ to eat?” Reva said. “Maybe as a celebration of your last day as a free man? The diner always has chicken-fried steak on Sunday night.”
Taylor started to protest in horror, but the words didn’t come out. “It sounds delicious.” He held his arm out to her and together they crossed the street.
Chapter Twelve
Amanda sat on the seat of the gazebo in the darkness and listened to the night sounds. She’d had a delicious dinner with her father and it had been pleasant even if neither of them said much. She was afraid to open her mouth after what he’d said that morning about her boring him to death. She somehow didn’t think he’d like to discuss the President’s new tariff laws. As the meal progressed, she found herself wishing Dr. Montgomery were there. He would know what to talk about. He’d be able to talk about the weather without comparing cirrostratus clouds with cumulonimbus clouds, as Amanda would do. In the end, all she’d said was, “It’s hot,” and J. Harker had said, “It sure is.” But even without conversation, it had been nice sitting with her father and eating real food.
After dinner she hadn’t gone to her room to do more Greek translation but instead had turned and walked outside in the growing darkness, and now she sat in the gazebo looking at the stars. She began to remember the times she’d sat here with Dr. Montgomery. She remembered watching him eat three slices of cake; she remembered his kissing her and asking to see her hair down. She remembered how he’d returned to the house one night and seen just the shadow of her dress yet he’d still come to her.
She straightened on the bench and told herself she should be thinking about Taylor, not Dr. Montgomery, but right now all she could think about was the unfairness of Greek translation. Taylor had merely blamed her for Dr. Montgomery’s leaving without allowing her to explain, and not believing what little she had told him.
A car pulled into the garage and for a moment Amanda held her breath. It wasn’t Dr. Montgomery returning, of course, and she certainly didn’t want him to return, but just maybe, perhaps it was him.
By the time she heard five footsteps on the gravel, she knew it was Taylor. Dr. Montgomery’s footsteps were heavier, more…more predatory, while Taylor walked light and quick, almost as if he were running.
He didn’t see her, as she knew he wouldn’t, and he went on into the house. She was supposed to be in her room, having had only one tiny meal all day, deep into Moby Dick, but instead she was outside enjoying the quiet darkness.
She listened as doors inside the house opened and closed and she knew her absence had been discovered. Thank heaven no one had wanted her last night when she’d been at the dance.
After a while the house quietened and the back door opened and closed and she could hear Taylor’s footsteps on the gravel. “Amanda?” he called in a reserved way.
For some reason, Amanda almost didn’t answer him. She told herself it was because he’d been unfair, but part of her said that Taylor was not the sort of man a woman wanted to sit under the stars with. This feeling was Dr. Montgomery’s fault, she reminded herself. If he hadn’t come…
“Here,” she called to Taylor, then watched as he approached.
“Do you mind if I sit down?”
“Of course not,” she answered, then began to explain. “It was so hot in my room that I couldn’t seem to think. I was just taking a break.” She stood. “I’ll get back to work now.”
“Wait,” he said, and when she paused at the doorway, he continued. “Amanda, maybe I was a little harsh this morning. You have always done your best with any assignment I have given you and I suppose Dr. Montgomery was no different. I’m afraid I was angry at myself as much as at anyone else and I took it out on you.”
Amanda stood motionless where she was. Taylor had never admitted to any fault before. “I understand,” she whispered. “Dr. Montgomery has made us all on edge.”
“I think I sent you off with him because I quite frankly couldn’t abide him.”
“Oh?” Amanda said, turning back into the gazebo. Taylor had never been this personal with her before.
“Such an insolent, lazy man. He’s obviously never had two nickels to rub together, and I guess I resented his being in your father’s fine house. Can you forgive me?”
“Why, yes, certainly.” She hesitated. “Do I have to do more translation of Moby Dick?”
Taylor winced. “No.” They were quiet for a moment. “Amanda,” Taylor said at last, “I have something important to say to you.”
Amanda prayed it was no more calculus. Since “she” had made 100% on the test she was afraid Taylor would want her to take up mathematics full time.
“I think it’s time we talk about marriage.”
“Oh,” Amanda said, not having expected this, and sat down heavily on the bench on the other side of the doorway.
“You’re becoming a young woman now and it’s time to seriously consider when we’ll be married. I have given it some thought and I believe we should be married two months from today. If that suits you, of course.”
Amanda’s mind was reeling. This morning her father had threatened to throw Taylor off the ranch and tonight he was proposing
that they marry very soon. She couldn’t help wondering if this was an attempt to secure his place on the ranch.
“You have nothing to say?”
Amanda almost answered that it didn’t seem to be up to her. “That sounds fine to me.”
Taylor frowned in the darkness. This afternoon had been so pleasant when he and Miss Eiler had chosen the engagement ring together. She’d said how overjoyed Amanda would be and how lucky Amanda was to marry someone like Taylor, but right now Amanda didn’t look overjoyed. He took a breath. “Amanda, perhaps you don’t want to marry me.”
Before she allowed herself to think, Amanda blurted, “Do you want me or the ranch?” She put her hand to her mouth in horror.
“Oh, so that’s it,” he said and sounded relieved. “Has this man Montgomery put such thoughts in your head?”
“I apologize, sir, it was an awful thing to say. Of course I’ll be most happy to marry you any time you say. If you will give me a date I will begin preparations, or no, you will want to do that. But the groom isn’t supposed to see the bridal gown beforehand, so someone else had better choose it, but you can if you want. I’ll do what I can to help. My lessons keep me busy, but I’ll—”
“Amanda!” Taylor said sharply. “Of course you may plan your own wedding. Sometimes you make me feel like a jailor, that I keep you under lock and key. I have merely tried my best to give you an education. I apologize if you have felt yourself to be a prisoner.”
Only since Dr. Montgomery arrived, she thought, but murmured, “Of course I haven’t been a prisoner.”
Taylor reached inside his coat pocket and withdrew the little ring box. “May I have your left hand?”
Amanda had no idea what he was going to do. She was afraid she’d get a ruler in her palm, so she was speechless when he slipped a ring on her third finger. The diamond sparkled in the moonlight. She could only stare at it blankly.
“Does it fit?” he asked anxiously. “We tried to get the size right.”
“It fits perfectly.” Amanda still could barely speak. This was an engagement ring. Now it was official and she was committed to marry Taylor. So why wasn’t she feeling like running and shouting for joy? “Who is ‘we’?” she asked idly, stalling for time.
“A friend of yours, Reva Eiler, helped me pick it out. Actually, I wouldn’t have the ring if it weren’t for her. It’s Sunday and the jewelry store was closed, but Miss Eiler took me to the jeweler’s house and got him to open it. Miss Eiler said the ring would fit.”
It was all Amanda could do to keep from pulling the ring off her hand. Another woman had worn her engagement ring before she had! Wasn’t it enough that Reva had Dr. Montgomery? Did she want Taylor and Amanda’s ring also? “How helpful of her,” Amanda managed to say and stopped looking at the ring. She wanted to throw it into the dark night.
“Amanda,” Taylor said after a while, “about yesterday evening, when you…when you kissed me.”
Abruptly, she stood. “I’m sorry. I apologized then and I apologize now.” She felt herself getting irritated and the ring was burning her finger.
Taylor stood also. “That isn’t what I meant. It’s just that I sometimes have a difficult time thinking of you as an adult. I still tend to remember you as that gawky girl I first met.”
Amanda began to relax somewhat. This made sense. Perhaps she wasn’t repulsive to him after all.
“If I may?” he said and held out his arms to her.
Amanda was hesitant but she went to him and put her cheek against his chest. He was thin and she could hear his heart pounding against her face, and instantly she began comparing him to Dr. Montgomery. Dr. Montgomery was bigger, stronger, and his arms and body seemed to envelope her, and by now his hands would be all over her, with his lips on her hair and neck, moving down to her mouth.
Taylor moved away from her to look down at her, then he pressed his lips to hers.
Nothing, she thought. I feel absolutely nothing. I don’t feel warmth or interest or an inclination to do anything more. I might as well be kissing a statue.
Taylor pulled away to look at her. “There, does that convince you that I want you and not the ranch?”
She gave him a little smile and a nod. What was wrong with her? This was Taylor, the man she loved. Perhaps if she tried kissing him again, this time she would feel something. She stood on tiptoe and put her face up to his, but Taylor drew back and gave what to her was an infuriating little chuckle.
“I think that’s enough to begin with, don’t you?” He dropped his arms from her. “Too much excitement and you’ll not be able to sleep.”
Anger choked Amanda so she couldn’t speak, but she wanted to say that his kisses certainly weren’t going to excite her.
“Now, Amanda, it’s time for you to go to bed. Tomorrow is a workday and you have a history test. I do hope you’ve studied for it. Tomorrow, perhaps we can talk again.” He smiled at her, then put the tip of his finger to her nose. “And if you’re a good girl maybe there’ll be more kisses. And, best of all, as soon as the hops are in, we’ll start planning our wedding. That should make you smile.”
Amanda didn’t dare open her mouth for fear of what would come out. Now Taylor was making her feel stupid. Did all men, at some point, turn into patronizing, overbearing know-it-alls? Every man seemed to think he knew exactly what was right for her. Her father took her out of school and kept her at home with a tutor. Her tutor took her away from her mother and put her on a schedule. Then along comes Dr. Montgomery and he makes her stop studying and start eating.
“Yes, I’m going to bed,” Amanda said and turned away quickly before she said something awful, such as asking Taylor if he meant to grade her paper with kisses: You miss four questions on Edward I’s Scottish campaign and no kisses for you, Amanda.
Once in her room, she burst into tears. She wrenched the engagement ring from her finger, tossed it onto the bedside table, then flung herself onto the bed and cried desperately. Everything in her life was so confused. A month ago she’d known everything she wanted out of life. She’d wanted Taylor and nothing else. But now she’d met Dr. Montgomery and nothing seemed to be the same. She was discontent about everything. Instead of feeling as if she were educating herself with her studies, Dr. Montgomery had made her feel like an aging schoolgirl.
Toward midnight, she got up, put on her nightgown and went to bed, but she didn’t sleep much. If only she had any idea what to do. If there were only some way she could get rid of the confusion in her mind.
Morning came and Mrs. Gunston gave Amanda Taylor’s latest schedule, but Amanda hardly looked at it. And she realized that she didn’t like Mrs. Gunston’s attitude either. After all, who was the employer and who the employee?
Amanda felt very discontent with the meager breakfast she shared with Taylor and the equally meager lunch. He sent her back to her room after lunch to get her engagement ring which she’d forgotten to wear. At two o’clock she’d barely passed her history test and Taylor had said nothing at all. His cold silence was worse than his berating her. “I guess this means no more kisses,” she murmured under her breath as he returned her paper with its low grade.
She went back to her room and glanced at the rest of her schedule, and a great, heavy sinking feeling overtook her. If she wasn’t a prisoner, she certainly felt like one.
At 3:30 she walked to the window and saw her mother sitting in the shade of two almond trees, reading the newspaper. Amanda didn’t even think about what she was doing but left her room, right in the middle of when her schedule said she was supposed to be studying Vermeer’s paintings, and went downstairs and outside to her mother.
“Hello,” Amanda said softly.
Grace looked up from her paper and saw immediately that her daughter had been crying, and crying quite a lot from the look of her swollen face. She wondered what that bastard Taylor Driscoll had done to her now.
“Have a seat,” Grace said, “and the lemonade’s cold.”
Amanda poure
d herself a cool glass of lemonade, sat down and sipped it. There was a pile of cookies also and she ate two of them before she spoke. “Have you ever been so confused that you had no idea what to do?”
“Daily, but why don’t you tell me what’s confusing you? That is, unless it’s Latin verbs. I’m no good at schoolwork.”
“It’s men,” Amanda said, blinking back tears.
“I might be able to help you there.”
Amanda didn’t know where to start. “I’m afraid that dreadful Dr. Montgomery has ruined my life.”
Grace’s eyes bugged and she envisioned her first grandchild being born out of wedlock. She’d take Amanda to Switzerland. She’d—
“He seems to have made me—well, restless,” Amanda was saying. “I love Taylor, I always have, and I know I want to marry him. He gave me an engagement ring last night. Oh drat! I’ve left it upstairs again. Anyway, I know I love Taylor, but ever since Dr. Montgomery came I can’t seem to enjoy anything. My studies are harder for me now. My mind keeps wandering.”
“That sounds normal,” Grace said.
“Normal? Normal for an engaged woman to think about another man?”
“Yes, of course. You know what you really need is to get Dr. Montgomery out of your system. You see, he’s a novelty to you, that’s all. It’s like when a child first eats ice cream. The child should be allowed to eat until he makes himself sick, then the next time he’ll use some judgment and not gorge himself.”
“You think I should get more of Dr. Montgomery? I thought it would be the best thing for me when he left.”
“Just the opposite,” Grace said. “You saw him just enough to be fascinated with him. After all, you have led a rather sheltered life, and this kind of man is different enough to intrigue you. If you were to spend more time with him you’d soon see that he really isn’t half the man Taylor is. After a few days of parties and dances and whatever else young people do today, you’d be back here hungry for Taylor and the way of life you’ve always loved.”
The Awakening Page 17