”Jesus, Kat. You know that would never happen. Neither of us would allow it.” I stepped forward and took her hands in mine. “Let's see what Walker has to say. Kailex has to be stopped and your idea is all we have. I think it could work.”
Kat looked down at our linked hands. “I as well,” she agreed quietly.
“A merge?” Walker frowned. “I'd need to let my Beast out so far I wouldn’t be able to see its back end to generate enough power for that! Are you crazy?”
“Too risky?” I asked, suddenly afraid she was going to say no.
“Don't be silly,” she said. “Great risk brings great rewards. Right now there are four of them and only two and a half of us. And while I'm pretty confident myself, you need all the help you can get.” Walker laughed, shaking out her red hair before twisting it expertly into a ponytail which she snapped into place with a rubber band that appeared out of nowhere. “Let's not chat away valuable time. We need to do this before our friends get here and ruin the mood.”
I laughed. Like Kat, Walker took no prisoners. Kat was exotic, an Elfin Queen, breathtakingly beautiful, a quiet thinker. Walker was athletic, impulsive, outgoing with a casual beauty that could stop any man on any street in his tracks. Both were strong, fearless, amazing women.
“Kat says it begins with touch,” I explained. “She’ll initiate the process and I'm to follow her lead. Your job is control. If one of us gets too frisky you have to hold that one back. It's all about balance until we get a successful merge, like two weights on a scale balancing each other. That's our goal. You're the finger on the scale until the merge stabilizes and accepts the balance. After that we should be able to easily hold it. Then you just keep watch in case something unexpected happens.”
“Got it and got it,” she said. “Time is fleeting.” Then she grabbed my hands in hers and put her forehead up against mine. “And don't get any ideas,” she purred, “This doesn't mean we're dating.”
I fell back in a long liquid slide while my Beast rose swift and eager to find something to kill. Instead it found another already in my head. I watched in sudden wonder at its eagerness as it circled. The other stood patient and almost aloof under its inspection. Then it happened, my Beast stepped into the other as if it were a shadow, insubstantial. The two flowed together taking me with them.
I was a young girl. The instructor was explaining that Leon and I were to be tested. A giant timer appeared on the wall and began ticking down seconds. Leon or me, he said. That is the test. Kill or be killed. I wanted to live, so I killed. I wiped the blood from my mouth while he nodded, not satisfied with my performance. I'd been much too quick. There were still seconds remaining on the clock. Killing was a spectacle, not a clinical assassination, he explained. The view shifted. Battles. Desperate struggles for survival, each one more terrifying. We started as one hundred but only ten would get to live. Bitterness fills me like sour bile. I scream in my sleep. The nightmares only stop when I accept I’ll never be normal. Never have a life of my own. I look forward to the Hunts. I’m free then. Time becomes a meaningless blur. I‘m lonely. I feel his power and realize he's like me. I wonder?
“Nick! Nick! Come out of it!”
I feel pain and my eyes jerk open. Walker! My hand lashes out with relaxed speed and grips her hand before she can strike me again.
“It's done,” I inform her. I can feel her in my mind. We hear each other. My arm is still chained to the wall. A minor irritation. I pull the chain free with only slight effort. The action breaks my arm in two places but it heals again almost immediately. I smile. The merge worked. I am still me but stronger, much, much stronger. And I can heal again, fast like a real Hunter.
“Wow, this feels strange.” says Walker. “How about we take that chain off your arm?”
“Not yet,” I reply almost dreamily. “I‘ve an idea the chain will be useful.” Then I smile the smile of the predator. “Our enemies are coming. I can see them. Bright lights moving fast in my mind.” I turn to her, “Don't hesitate. Don't try to save them.” A distant part of me worries for her.
She steps back from me, her eyes narrowed and her heart rate accelerating. I can feel her concern. She’s inside and I feel different.
I laugh. “Worry is a waste of energy. I feel different because I am different. Concern yourself with staying alive. It's time to kill or be killed.”
Her frown hardened. “I already don't like this merge thingy.” She nods. “But you're right. There are four of them and two of us. We can't play nice.”
I put my head close to hers and breathe in. “You smell of doubt with a spicy drop of fear. That's not good for you. Those coming will think you’re easy prey.”
She shoves me away and I laugh enjoying the play. Part of me wants to play harder with her. But she’s in my mind and I feel her pull that part back.
“Quickly, through the door. We need room to move. Speed is our advantage! Kailex is in their minds. He‘ll slow them down.” I rolled the chain around my hand until my fist was encased in steel, then ran into the hallway.
Once outside the cell area the walls widened considerably giving us much more room. This was a main thoroughfare so it saw plenty of traffic. Depressing military grey was everywhere, unbroken save for the long line of fluorescent lights above. There were metal doors at regular intervals, all closed and I assumed, locked. Signs on the walls indicated the way in front led out and the way behind would take us down to the labs. I thought it might be fun to take a tour of the labs. They'd created Walker there. Maybe there were others. Weak, easy prey. I hesitated. Again I felt her push me. Inwardly I snarled but the push helped me concentrate on the task at hand. I decided to deal with her later.
Walker turned in a slow circle. “There's nowhere to take cover. What if they have guns?” She raised empty hands. “If they're armed all they have to do is shoot straight.”
I laughed. I couldn't help myself. They were near and I was excited. My blood burned with anticipation! I sniffed the air and reached out. Yes! Their blood burned hot like mine! They'd fed well and were feeling strong. I held the sense of them in my mind for a full second smelling them like a fine wine. Again. I was shaken from my thoughts.
“These won’t use guns!” I snarled beginning to lose my patience with her. “The hunt is a fever in them. Can’t you feel it? They think only of killing with their hands and teeth. In the fever even clever Hunters make mistakes. Speed will confuse them. But don't let them get you on the ground. On the ground they will be your equal. Maybe better because they’ve fed.”
Walker still looked worried. “If I was them I'd have a gun.”
I snorted. “To feed they will need to touch. They‘ll want to get close, take you to the ground and taste. Especially you. You‘re the weakest. Guns are for humans.”
I saw her give me a sideways glance. “Ok, that's definitely the last time we hold hands.”
My body trembled. I‘d heard the spicy fear just below her words. If I touched her now I'd be able to taste it. Quietly I breathed her in. It was there. The salty taste. I grinned, unable to resist the thought of her. Then I saw them and my focus changed. Their hunger spilled over me in a wave that caused my own to spike, heart hammering in my chest. The way was wide, so they‘d spread out, coming four abreast at us. They were smiling, hands out, twice the size of a normal human, taloned fingers with razor claws. Their Beasts were in full control and their bodies had changed. Whatever was human in them had long since been subsumed. The two biggest were in the lead; Robert, with Lisa just behind and to his left heading for Walker. Then Jeremy, followed by Dickens coming for me.
"Remember take the first one down hard. Use the walls, they won't expect that."
To her credit she moved fast, sprinting to meet Robert who was easily the largest of the four. His grin widened becoming even toothier as he saw her coming. Thinking to set himself and catch her in his arms, he braked suddenly. Behind him, Lisa failed to notice his change of pace and collided sharply with his back causi
ng him to stumble forward. Snarling he turned and sharply backhanded her, spinning her to the right. Turning back quickly to meet Walker he was surprised to see she was no longer in front of him but running along the wall, her speed and momentum allowing her to defy gravity. A moment later her extended arm caught him in the throat. Since she didn't slow down and her arm never wavered it had the force of a steel bar moving at speed. His larynx partially crushed, Robert's lower body continued for a few feet more before he crashed to the concrete where he lay whimpering and gurgling up blood. Walker continued on, using her speed to grab Lisa by the hair as she went by. Pushing off the wall, she rocketed to the floor proper with Lisa still in tow. Swinging the girl around and over her head Walker slammed Lisa to the floor so hard she bounced twice before spinning down the corridor.
I’d seen it all. There’d been no hesitation. Walker was formidable! I’d need to be careful later. I followed her example, running the wall as she'd done but on the other side where my opponents had also made the mistake of slowing. With little effort I pushed off, using the top of Jeremy's head as a fulcrum so I could get enough air to fly across the corridor and land next to a still thrashing Robert. Red One had fed well so I knew they'd heal quickly if given a chance. I couldn’t allow that. Reaching down I tore his throat out, almost taking his head off in the process. I wanted to feed but it was too dangerous at the moment. Oh well, later. One down, three to go.
With a roar Dickens ran at me arms fully extended. Any training he might have had was long forgotten. I moved to my left like a matador and punched him in the liver as he went by. He seemed so slow and clumsy now I wondered how I’d ever thought him dangerous. I sensed a blow coming and pulled my head back in time to see Jeremy's fist rush past my cheek. Laughing, I released Dickens and pirouetted backward on one foot, ending up completely behind Jeremy. I was fighting fools! Surely I could risk a quick taste? Unbidden, both my hands locked around his temples while his body jerked in sudden shock as my mind invaded his. I ripped into him, drinking in the reserves of power he’d saved up! Just a quick taste I thought. But there was so much sweetness there, so much goodness! Then the fear came like a rich heady wine. I couldn't resist that! I took more and more.
Suddenly the connection broke and I was myself, struggling face down on the concrete. Dickens was on top, laughing, very excited, his hands locked on my temples.
‘Shit,’ I thought. I'd been so focused on feeding I'd dropped my defenses. “Ungh!!” I felt this power break through and rush into my mind. Frantically I fought to re-establish barriers but he was already inside! I felt myself go numb, then the first piercing stab of agony. Just before I passed out I heard a scream that sounded familiar. Then I realized it was me.
“Wake up, damn you!”
”Uung.” I heard the sound before I felt the jolt. Blearily, I opened my eyes. “Did you just slap me?” I asked.
Walker stood over me. She didn't look happy. Dicken's body lay to the side. It had Lisa's favourite knife stuck in its head, the point like some peculiar kind of jewelry emerging from between his eyes. He was quite dead. That didn't upset me in the least. Blood pouring from his head and began pooling liberally around me. That I cared about. Rolling onto my side I struggled up to a sitting position with only a few manly groans of pain. Walker was drenched in blood. She looked like the main character in the movie ’Carrie’ after the prom had ended. The way she was looking at me I could tell she was still in a killing mood.
“Lisa?” I croaked, my throat still tight from the attack and my unexpected salvation.
“Down the hallway.” Walker gave a quick nod in the general direction. “For a girl who likes knifes she isn’t all that capable. And no, I don't want to talk about it.” Her face was hard and taunt. She didn't see herself as a killer so I knew this was hard on her. I decided to shut up and work on standing. I staggered to my feet. Jeromy lay off to the side next to Dickens, his face trapped in a silent scream of agony. Walker stepped back, warily watching me.
I felt a soft brush against my mind. “You feel different,” she said suddenly, “better.”
I took stock and realized I was me again. Dicken's attack had broken our merge. "Kat?" I questioned, reaching into myself.
"Still here,” came the answer. “I took the brunt of his attack so you’ll need to give me a moment."
“The merge is broken. I'm me again.”
Walker looked relieved. “Good. The new you was an asshole.”
I remembered some of the thoughts that’d run through my head and decided it would be better if she knew.
“If we ever merge again – don't trust me, at least not completely. I mean, I'm there and Kat's there but our Beasts are much more in control. They don't think like we do.”
“Don't worry about that, I barely trust you now.” Walker looked around at the carnage and grimaced. “Looks like Jeremy's still ticking.”
I followed her pointing finger and saw his face had settled back into a more relaxed look. His chest rose and fell slowly. I knelt beside him and put a hand to his forehead then recoiled revolted! “Christ!”
He felt empty to me. His body lived but his mind was gone.
Walker bent down and did the same, pulling back quickly.
“You fed,” she pronounced flatly.
“Yes,” I admitted. “The balance in the merge seems to vary according to stress. The more stress, the stronger the Beast. I lost it for a moment.”
“And almost died!” snapped Walker. “What good is this merge thingy if it gets you killed? That's it! No more fucking merges. Just you and me and that fucking alien in your brain! Do you understand?” Suddenly she was backing me up, shoving me hard against the corridor wall. Then she stepped away breathing furiously in and out, her face ashen and wet with tears.
“What the fuck?” I whispered completely at a loss. “Merged I can do this. We can do this. I know it's a risk but we have to do whatever it takes to get this guy!”
“Well it's a risk you’ll have to take without me,” she shouted, stumbling back. “I killed today to protect you! And fuck me both ways but I'd do it again. What I wouldn't do is eat my kill! That’s not human and that's what you just did. When you do animal things you are an animal! You were in there with it. So it's on you. You say you can control it but it gets away from you every time! I hate this thing inside us Nick! I’d never let it control me, not even for a second.” She threw up her hands. “Maybe Kat's right. Maybe you're not strong enough for this.” Then she turned and began making her way out of the complex.
Before I followed her, I took a last look at Jeremy. Spittle ran down his chin. He continued to breathe but I'd killed him just the same. If there had been anything left, it was gone now. There was nothing inside, nothing of the man he’d once been. Maybe Walker was right. I followed her out, her words ringing loudly in the back of my mind.
Chapter Seventeen
“Self-recrimination is useless. Our enemy has been weakened. The merge worked. If I feel anything, it‘s satisfaction!”
After the fight with Red One Kat had returned with an almost jubilant air. We'd discussed what happened a few times now but she was still having a difficult time understanding why Walker was so pissed off.
“Listen, Kat. I'm just as glad as you that it worked, but it wasn't all good. Walker's got a point. Our control slipped! We fed! It's one thing to kill in defense, but that?” I felt a gag growing in the back of my throat. “That's not me. It’s not acceptable. I thought you felt the same way.”
“Foolish sentiment. If you hope to survive you must learn to deal with such things. Your Beast is part of you now. It must be fed if you hope to control it. Someday you’ll be food for the worms. Are they evil because they eat your body to survive? Predation is the natural order. So we fed on our enemy? Surely, that’s more responsible that letting his energy go to waste? Now we’re stronger and Kailex is weaker. When the time comes, I will feed on him as well!”
A memory blossomed in my mind. I think
I'd been suppressing it. “I just remembered something Kat,” I said softly and a little sadly. “That urge to feed. It came on kind of sudden. With my Beast it's like a constant pressure but this was like a wave that just swept me away. That was you wasn’t it? I resisted so you intervened. Took over. Let it out to feed.”
I felt her grow dangerously quiet, then she was there in front of me. We stood face to face in my mind. She didn't move, just stood there staring at me, onyx eyes smoking. She stepped closer. I was drawn to her eyes by their darkness. They were twin holes you could fall into and never find the bottom. She reached out, put a hand on my cheek, let it fall, finger trailing slowly down my skin. I felt the sharp pull of anticipation. Then she breathed out and took two quick steps back. A wall slammed down between us.
“Of course it was me. I had to push you hard, but it was worth it. Four of our enemies are dead because I acted when you wouldn’t. Don’t you remember what we told Walker? No hesitation! In the merge you saw some of my mind, my history.” She spat. “You saw what it took to survive! In all that time playing the game that is not a game, only two things separated me from the ones who died. I didn't hesitate and what I killed, I ate.”
I took a deep, furious breath. Kat had "pushed” me. She'd taken away my choice. As angry as I was, a darker part of me agreed with her. This wasn't a game. To survive, sometimes you had to get dirty. My thoughts were interrupted by Meeta. I was back inside SHIP. Her hand was on my shoulder. I stood in front of a window. We were somewhere high over the ocean. I could see the slow curve of the horizon where the sky met the sparkling water. So beautiful. If only I had time to enjoy it. I felt a sudden sense of loss for my old life. Gone. I’d never get it back. Even if this ended in victory my old life was finished.
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