Was that the smell of fries?
She spun around, a surprised smile growing on her face when she discovered Maddie there holding a takeout bag from Juniper’s. Maddie raised a to-go cup and playfully wiggled it.
“Impressive,” Maddie remarked with a small smile, “usually I have to say a few things before you realize I’m here. Food is much more efficient at getting your attention, it seems.”
Natalie had to bite back a suggestive comment. Dressed in charcoal slacks and a green button-up, Maddie looked incredible. The high ponytail made Maddie seem younger, and also revealed the perfect angles of her face and jaw.
It was difficult not to stare, but Natalie managed to focus on the brown bag with a friendly tree printed on it. “What’d you get me?”
“A burger and fries,” Maddie admitted ruefully. “To make up for the not-so-healthy food, I got you some juice.” Again Maddie wiggled the cup, walking over to the wider work table and depositing her offerings. To Natalie’s delight, she sat down.
Natalie quickly grabbed some wipes to clean her hands, then washed them in the small sink near the fridge as an added precaution. She took a seat across from Maddie.
For the nth time, she wondered if they could really be friends. Maddie didn’t know it wasn’t just attraction, didn’t know Natalie’s crush was on the precipice of something deeper and more dangerous. She didn’t want to have to avoid Maddie since she genuinely loved being in her company. Natalie had always had difficulties following her head once her heart was involved.
Stray wisps of hair were framing Maddie’s smiling face. Natalie studiously dropped her gaze back to the brown bag, trying to ignore the warm tautness growing in her body from Maddie’s proximity.
The bags were nudged gently in her direction, prompting her to brave giving Maddie a smile.
“Where’s yours?” she asked in an effort to distract herself. Her hands felt clumsy as she removed the food container from its bag.
“I wasn’t really hungry when I picked up the food,” Maddie explained, “but I couldn’t resist picking up something for you and Brittney.”
“Ah,” Natalie said for lack of anything better to say. She fidgeted with the container lid before looking up again. “Did you already take her food up? I don’t want it to get cold.”
Maddie silently watched. “Yes, of course. She told me she wanted to be alone for a while.” She blinked and glanced down at the table. “I’m not… is it… would you like me to leave you alone, as well?”
Natalie wanted to say yes out of a sense of self-preservation, but she’d always been a bit of a masochist. “You can stay, as long as you have some of my food. For a woman that likes to preach against skipping meals, you’re pretty bad about it.”
As she finished speaking, Natalie adjusted the container so it was square between the two of them. She looked around for a moment, snapping her fingers and then heading over to the small mini refrigerator. Near it was a small cabinet, whose top drawer she tugged open.
She grinned and retrieved a butter knife, retaking her seat and then cutting the burger in half. Pleased with herself, she set the knife aside and gave Maddie a pointed look.
Maddie shook her head with a laugh, reaching for the slightly smaller half when Natalie only continued to wait. “It’s a habit from med school; one of my instructors was fond of the saying ‘do as I say, not as I do.’ He said it’s a phrase most doctors live by.”
She tilted her head to take a bite, her lashes fluttering down as she did.
Natalie almost forgot to breathe, and then hurriedly focused on collecting her own half of the burger. She didn’t want to seem like she was staring—even though she had been staring.
The first bite was fantastic, every bit as good as she remembered from before. She reached for a fry, freezing when her hand brushed Maddie’s. Her face heated up, and she could see Maddie blinking down at her own hand in surprise.
Natalie was frustrated when she had to forcefully restrain herself from reaching across the table to touch Maddie again. She doubted a friend would simply run a hand along Maddie’s arm just to feel her skin. Natalie was certain that would be marked in the ‘creepy’ category, in fact.
Maddie nervously smiled, retrieving a fry and retreating back to her side of the table. They ate quietly as both searched for safe topics of conversation, carefully taking turns in reaching for fries.
“I suppose I should warn you that you have apple-carrot-cucumber juice.”
Natalie tried not to make a face. “I hope that tastes better than it sounds,” she mumbled.
Maddie’s eyes twinkled with suppressed laughter, her lips twitching in an effort not to smile. She pushed the cup closer to Natalie. “Just try it.”
Natalie finished chewing and swallowed, eyeing the cup with trepidation. “I reserve my right not to drink it if I don’t like it,” she warned. Maddie nodded in agreement, so Natalie reached for the drink with a resigned sigh.
It tasted a little odd to her, the mix not anything she was familiar with, but it was also refreshing. The apple juice sweetened it enough to her liking. “Not bad,” she conceded.
She reflexively sucked down more of the juice when Maddie rewarded her with a large grin. That smile was dangerous. If only Maddie knew…
*****
Maddie finished up her piece of the burger and reached for a last fry, resting her free arm on the table and propping her chin up on her palm.
It was fun to watch Natalie sip the juice, her lips twisting each time. To Maddie, it seemed like she couldn’t decide whether she liked it or hated it.
Maddie crossed her legs under the table, letting out a surprised breath when her foot accidentally brushed Natalie’s leg.
She froze but Natalie didn’t seem to notice. Maddie internally debated; her position was actually perfectly comfortable. She decided not to move. It wouldn’t do to bring unnecessary attention to a completely innocent thing. Natalie already seemed self-conscious around her.
Natalie continued to slowly drink, seeming lost in thought.
She wondered if Natalie wore the same expression in classes, the tiniest of furrows forming on her forehead as she focused. Her lips were softly pursed, as if holding back an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked yet.
Natalie abruptly shifted, the movement incidentally bringing Maddie’s foot into greater contact with her leg.
Maddie’s eyes widened when she realized she’d been staring. More than that, she realized that Natalie had noticed. She swallowed hard as her pulse accelerated. The pant leg of her slacks had ridden up, and she could feel Natalie’s body heat through the thin layer of denim pressed against her skin.
There was something shifting low in her abdomen, something that she’d felt before around Natalie but hadn’t truly acknowledged. Natalie licked her lips and Maddie couldn’t look away.
The changes in Natalie blossomed as she continued to watch. Dark eyes became darker as Natalie’s pupils dilated, her nostrils flaring as the push-pull of her breaths increased.
Arousal.
The effect in Maddie was instantaneous, heat erupting to life deep in her abdomen and tingling down to her core, robbing her of her ability to speak with its intensity.
Oh, no. No.
She was unable to move and yet desperately recognized that she needed to. Away. Away from Natalie. This was not allowed, and it was not okay.
Just as she was about to jerk away in a fashion that would make Natalie feel horrible, the tense moment was interrupted.
“Natalie I,” Brittney confidently began as she rounded the entrance to the garage. “Oh, Mom, you’re here. Uh…” Brittney’s confidence deflated back into awkward timidity.
Maddie was grateful for the interruption, uncomfortable as it was. The desire tingling in her body was persistent, and she needed to get far away from Natalie and… whatever had caused the unexpected and unwanted feeling as soon as possible.
“Don’t mind me, sweetie. I was just chatting
with Natalie while she ate. I need to catch up on a few work things so I’ll leave you two alone for a bit,” Maddie said as she pushed up from the table, forcing a casualness she didn’t feel. She crossed and uncrossed her arms, not quite looking Natalie in the eye. “Excuse me,” she offered with a fake smile in Natalie’s general direction.
She didn’t look back as she fled, instead making it all the way to her office. She locked the door behind herself.
“This isn’t happening,” Maddie told herself as she brought a shaking hand up to cover her mouth. She paced the length of her study in a persistent route, pausing from time to time as her mind frantically wandered.
It wasn’t the first time she’d found someone other than her husband attractive. After being in a relationship for nearly twenty years and meeting countless people in that time, it had happened once or twice. Falling in love hadn’t meant that their basic biological responses had suddenly disappeared, something that they both understood.
No, attraction to other people was only natural. It had just never been for someone like Natalie. (And certainly not as strong as she felt toward Natalie, a voice in her head added.)
At best, there was a fifteen year difference in their ages. Her daughter had a crush on the same woman.
Her stomach knotted with anxiety, a feeling of sickness overwhelming her. She crossed her arms protectively over her belly as she tried to control the feeling.
Losing her lunch became a genuine concern, and she had to concentrate on her breathing for several long moments. In from her nose, out from her mouth. Slow. Steady. Repeat.
It helped—a little, at least. Still feeling dizzy with confusion, she stumbled her way over to the desk chair. Her elbows settled on the wooden surface as she covered her face with both hands.
Nothing was helping. She was only making herself feel worse instead of finding some way to make the problem go away.
The problem. She frowned at herself.
Natalie. Natalie, who was intelligent, sweet, and attentive.
She suddenly recalled the day she’d taken the picture for Natalie’s contact image. In spite of the coolness outside the garage, Natalie had been in a tank top as she worked on Adam’s car. Maddie could almost perfectly remember the light perspiration clinging to the alluringly bronze skin, and how it had emphasized the cut of well-defined muscle in Natalie’s arms and shoulders.
Her eyes widened. “No,” she scolded herself as she clapped a hand over her eyes. At another time, she might have laughed at herself for the fruitless gesture.
Few options came to mind, and only one seemed feasible. She needed to stop spending time with Natalie so her… midlife crisis or whatever it was could fade and go away is if it had never happened.
The only problem with her decision was that if she suddenly stopped spending time with Natalie, Natalie would surely notice. It would undoubtedly hurt Natalie’s feelings.
The last thing Maddie wanted to do was cause Natalie pain. However, telling Natalie that they couldn’t spend time together because she had feelings for Natalie was out of the question.
It was preposterous, lusting after a woman nearly half her age. It was obviously some kind of extreme reaction to Adam being gone so often.
In a lot of ways, Natalie had stepped in for him—whether it was fixing things around the house, bridging the gap between her and Brittney, or just making her feel good.
Her face flushed when she considered the last part. She crossed her legs and pushed her ankle against the cool wood of her desk.
Adam was due back tomorrow. That would help. She needed to focus on her husband and getting their marriage back to a good place. She couldn’t do that if she was lusting after the mechanic he’d hired to fix his car.
The acidic thought made her feel guilty on several levels. It was unfair to reduce Natalie to such a simple role when she was so much more, had done so much more than tinker on a car. Maddie had appreciated every effort. Too much, apparently.
She frowned. Had she been leading Natalie on without thinking? She must have been.
There had been moments before, but she’d thought them to be rather harmless. Oh, how wrong she’d been to downplay the intimacy of their interactions. She’d never felt this kind of attraction for someone so much younger than herself.
It was such a mess.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, causing her to jerk at the sudden sensation. She’d forgotten its presence. A quick look showed it was a text from Adam.
Of course it was Adam. She took a breath and swallowed down the guilt so she could read it.
‘Hey hon, I managed to get an earlier flight tomorrow. I was thinking maybe we could go out, just the two of us.’
The guilt came crashing back. She wanted to say yes immediately, but Brittney had still been acting maudlin. Maddie didn’t want to leave her alone in the house for a prolonged period without at least checking in on her mental state.
‘Let me just ask Brittney what she has planned for tomorrow evening, alright?’ she typed back.
Adam sent back a quick agreement. She tucked the phone back into her pocket as she stood and walked to the door of her study.
She hadn’t heard Brittney come back into the house. Barring her car being absent, Brittney was most likely still in the garage with Natalie.
Maddie’s steps faltered. She took a few moments to settle herself, straightening her shoulders and raising her chin before unlocking the door.
*****
Brittney remained at the entrance to the garage until she lost sight of her mother, then slowly turned to face Natalie.
Natalie sipped the remnants of her juice. Her eyes were focused on Brittney even though it was exceptionally difficult after her encounter with Maddie. The flimsy cup bent dangerously in her grip.
“So, here you are.” Brittney’s gaze was almost accusatory.
The juice sipping stopped as Natalie straightened. She eyed Brittney carefully, nodding after a moment. “I was hired to do a job.”
“I thought you might be more understanding. About,” Brittney gestured vaguely with her hand.
“In a world where I wasn’t two shakes from being up to my eyeballs in debt, maybe.” Natalie kept her tone neutral. Even without asking, she knew Brittney had never stressed about money.
Brittney pursed her lips and nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I, just…”
Natalie dipped her head once. “I know. I get it. You’re not the first person to—”
“Oh, god, please stop there.”
“I was going to say have an awkward crush,” Natalie said with raised eyebrows.
Brittney’s cheeks flushed. She looked away. “I know. I didn’t want to hear you say it. God, I was so stupid.”
For a moment, Natalie just stared. If only she could have developed feelings for Brittney. It would have been far less complicated than the alternative.
Natalie mentally made a face. Okay, so, she still couldn’t imagine dating an eighteen-year-old. Brittney was nice enough, but her age was important.
“Not stupid,” Natalie finally said. “Feelings kind of just do what they want. We can’t control them, much as we try.”
Brittney scowled. “Could you stop being so understanding for like five minutes? Give me a reason to be mad at you so I can stop feeling… ugh.”
Internally, Natalie debated. She cleared her throat and looked Brittney dead in the eye. “Your mom has the sexiest voice I've ever heard.”
“Oh my god, I hate you so much.” Though Brittney was still scowling, it was clear she was trying not to laugh.
Natalie chuckled uncomfortably under her breath, relieved to see Brittney lightening up. “Brittney, I’ve really enjoyed being your frien—” she slammed her mouth shut when she noticed movement behind Brittney.
Maddie was there, standing in the doorway and looking a little flushed.
“Maddie, hey,” Natalie blurted out as her mind screamed a plethora of obscenities. It was too soon after their…
whatever-it-had-been. A moment. Or something.
Brittney’s eyes widened. She looked torn between laughing and panicking harder than Natalie was.
How long had Maddie been standing there?
“Brittney, your father and I were wondering if you had any plans for tomorrow,” Maddie asked. Was she not looking in Natalie’s direction on purpose? Shit.
Despite Natalie’s most ardent hopes, a hole didn’t open up and swallow her whole. She peeked at Maddie from under her lashes. Was Maddie upset? Her face revealed nothing.
“Um, I was actually thinking about visiting Victoria. She said she’s staying at Deacon’s for the weekend but he ended up having to work graveyard for a friend.” Brittney darted a look at Natalie and then back at her mother.
Maddie smiled, though it seemed fake to Natalie. “Good, I think some time away from here will be good for you. I know your father will feel better about leaving tomorrow if you’re not stuck at home.”
Brittney frowned. “Dad’s coming back only to leave again?”
“Sort of,” Maddie admitted. “He wants to take me out for a special night.”
The explanation, coming from seemingly nowhere, made Natalie’s stomach lurch. She had no right to react that way, she knew.
She focused on Brittney’s face. Brittney was grinning.
“You guys haven’t really done that for ages,” Brittney marveled.
“I know. Your father did say he was trying to do better,” Maddie responded, sounding happy.
A lump formed in Natalie’s throat. She should be pleased for Maddie. She really, really should. Adam had been neglecting their relationship for far too long. As Brittney and Maddie continued to chat, the lump seemed to sink, traveling slowly down until it settled like lead in her stomach.
She tuned out the rest of the conversation. She didn’t want to see the gentle glow in Maddie’s cheeks or the soft twinkling in her eyes, just as much as she did want to. The flash of reciprocated attraction she thought she’d seen had been something else.
Adam was a lucky man. She knew how very lucky he was.
Doing her best not to pay attention, she wasn’t aware when Maddie finally left the garage. It was a giggle from Brittney that finally had her coming back to reality. Brittney was still grinning, their delicate discussion from earlier apparently forgotten.
Meeting Mrs Garret Page 20