Fallow Heart

by K. C. Finn

  “The Killer Beast is an invention of the press. What we have here is a vicious attacker who enjoys causing animalistic harm to his or her victims. Rest assured that, following my attack, I’m primed more than ever to catch the killer now.”

  Walker hadn’t given much else in direct quotes, except for a few ‘no-comment’s. Lori scoured the rest of the article, but all it did was re-hash what she already knew. Pauline’s death and the discovery of half a body. Ryan Wade’s broken neck and the theft of his body from the funeral home, which had apparently never been recovered. Huw’s statement that he’d made about being ‘clawed and mauled’, and Walker’s just-the-facts approach. All he’d given in the way of real details was the date and time of the attack, and the paper had invented the rest for flavour. Lori frowned suddenly, re-checking the date. Carl Walker had been attacked on the same night that she had caught the Faunus with Allardyce and the others. The night that she’d stayed up after Kasabian had tried to coax her to sleep.

  It’s not you.

  It was the first time the voice had thought anything different in over a week. Lori had only started sleeping again because Kasabian was here to keep her contained, but it didn’t mean she’d stopped worrying about her night-attacks. It was the whole reason she wanted to learn about control. But this… Lori could remember the voice telling her that Walker was next, but she knew she couldn’t have done this attack. She scoured the paper again, desperate for some extra detail that would confirm the faint flicker of hope in her heart. If she hadn’t attacked Walker, perhaps she hadn’t attacked the others either. It might still be the Cervinae after all.

  The paper held no more details. Lori dropped it to the ground, looking out of the window again. It was a little after midnight and the rain had stopped to give way to the clear sky. There were still a few droplets on the rickety old window frame, and some rainwater pooling in a crack in the wood. Lori looked at the little puddle, an idea flashing in her mind. She dipped one finger into the icy water, enjoying the cool shock. She thought hard, pushing at energy that she wasn’t even sure was there. Think cold things. Ice and frostbite. Freezing rivers and shivering bodies.

  There was a sudden jolt in her hand. Lori tried to pull it away, but her finger caught and ached as though she was tearing skin from flesh. She looked into the crack in the window-sill and saw the reason why. The small pool of water there had turned to ice, and now her finger was stuck to it. Lori sighed, leaning down and breathing hot breaths onto her finger until she could coax it free. The ice remained, solid and glistening. Addy was right. With a little practice, she had another new skill for the set.

  At least she could freeze Walker in his tracks if he did come looking for her now. Lori frowned again, her heart deflating at the thought of the grizzly, battered detective. She could hardly walk up to him at the station in the morning and ask what sort of thing had attacked him. Another thought hit her, and Lori leaned against the wall, her temple pressed to it. What if the Faunus had attacked him? It was certainly marauding the streets at the right time of night. Lori shook her head, fists clenched. There were too many possibilities, and no way of knowing. Only Walker held the truth about what was going on, and he wouldn’t trust Lori enough to tell her anything.

  But you know who he does trust.

  Lori blinked in the moonlight. A smile graced her face. She tip-toed in the dark across the creaky floorboards to her bed. She lay down on her belly and put the one threadbare blanket up over her head, rustling in her backpack again. She found the small object she was looking for, and plugged it into the wall with Kasabian’s charger. As Granddad’s old phone came back to life, Lori fumbled to put it on silent as quickly as possible. She scrolled and tapped her way into the message inbox, looking for Walker’s name. Once there, the cursor blinked at her, keyboard open and waiting. Lori began to type.

  Hello Carl. Are you awake? I saw the article in the paper today. I have some questions.

  Lori waited, clutching the phone. He’d been awake in the middle of the night before. Lori gulped. She realised he must have been calling her grandfather either just before or just after he was attacked. She re-read her message, hoping that she sounded formal and gruff enough to pass for her granddad. The phone buzzed in her hand and she squeezed it to kill the sound.

  CARL: What sort of questions?

  What did it look like? Lori typed, licking her dry lips.

  The reply buzzed back with only seconds to spare.

  CARL: Like the thing in Agnes’s painting. Couldn’t believe it. I was still hoping you were wrong about it all.

  The beast on the wall in Agnes’s study. Lori’s chest was heavy. It looked enough like to Cervinae to confirm that’s what Walker had seen too. Lori could remember it reflecting in the glass of her table, where she kept her current studies open. She couldn’t recall that quote she’d spilled her tea on, and Lori wanted to kick herself for that. The gates of Hell. Something like that. She and Granddad had clearly been trying to figure out the killings too, and they’d got a lot closer than Walker’s ‘it’s a deranged human’ theory. Lori looked ahead in the dark and spotted the corner of the red book Addy had given her poking out of her backpack. She typed again, so frantic that she had to go back and correct the spelling to be sure she wouldn’t slip up.

  Can you give me the time of death for the other victims? I think there’s a pattern.

  The phone buzzed.

  CARL: Give me a sec.

  She waited again, loosening the book from her bag. It was lucky, Lori realised, that Addy had been the one to witness her attack, because he’d started keeping track right from the night that Pauline died. Lori found the date and two times: one when she’d left the van and another when she’d returned. She was out from 1:54 until 2:41 that night. The phone buzzed on the page, shuddering a little across the book. Lori picked it up.

  CARL: First victim approx. 4-6 am. Second one 2-3am.

  Lori’s whole body was lighter. The time was wrong for Pauline. She wasn’t there. She was back in the van long before Pauline died. Lori thought of her father and his broken expression. She’d be able to look him in the eye again, if this mess ever got sorted, and not feel that crushing sickness in her stomach anymore. She had not killed Pauline.

  She raced to find the second date in the book, the night of Ryan’s death. She was out from 1:34 until 2:53. Lori looked at Walker’s text again, and some of the weight crept back into her chest. That one was still possible. She might have been the one to snap Ryan’s neck clean in two. And she knew she’d been there when Huw was attacked, he saw her there himself. Walker she was clear of, but that was only two out of four. Lori rubbed her chin, rolling over on the thin bed. Even if she wasn’t the killer, she had something to do with it. She only wished she’d been conscious at the time to know what it was.

  “Are you okay?”

  Lori yelped, the blanket flying off as she jumped. She looked up into Kasabian’s smile, eyes flashing from the phone screen. He crouched down, replacing the blanket over her tummy. He left his hand there, leaning on her a little. Her skin trembled under his palm.

  “Sorry,” she said. “Couldn’t sleep. I was… playing a game on this old phone.”

  A pang hit her chest as the lie rolled out.

  Kasabian nodded. “Let’s try and get you some sleep.”

  He tipped onto his side, lying down with his arm still over Lori’s middle. She let the old phone fall away beside her. It buzzed, but she didn’t bother to check it. The lightness was back in her chest, her skin teeming with little jolts of electricity. She could smell Kasabian’s fresh, earthy scent, and feel the warmth of his breath on her neck as he put his head down beside hers.

  “I’ll take care of you when you’re sleeping,” he said, “like I always do.”

  Lori’s voice caught in her throat. “Okay.”

  She shuffled, and he shuffled too, knocking his knee against her leg. She turned her head ever-so-slightly, watching his small smile and closed eyes
. He looked ever better close up. Whether they were stuck together or not by convenience, he was willing to be this close to her. This connected. It had to mean something. The night seemed brighter around Lori, her lips forming a smile.

  “It might not be me, you know.”

  “What do you mean?” Kasabian asked.

  “You know when we said it was ‘me or the monster’?”

  Kasabian’s chest rose and fell against Lori’s shoulder. She had that tingling sensation again.

  “You think it’s the monster now?” His voice didn’t hitch like a question, but Lori nodded anyway.

  “I do.”

  He shifted his arm, tightening his grip over her middle. Lori’s chest flushed. Though she couldn’t tell in the moonlight, she was sure it was glowing pink now. Kasabian pressed his chest against her shoulder, so close now that his nose ghosted along her earlobe.

  “That’s great,” he whispered. “Keep thinking about that. Maybe it’ll help you sleep.”

  Lori shut her eyes. It wasn’t just the relief that would help there. She reached up, placing one of her arms beside Kasabian’s, her fingertips touching his elbow. They were the same temperature, both a little too warm in the cold room. Kasabian didn’t even have a blanket, but perhaps Lori was keeping him warm. She couldn’t help the smile that rushed to her face from that idea. She lay there a while, listening to his even breathing, before the electric tingles had settled enough for her to sink into sleep.

  She woke to the smell of dead flesh. Lori stirred with a growl, a sudden pang making her chest ache. The smell was awful and instantly recognisable. It shocked her like one of her nightmares and she opened her eyes wide, leaping up in the morning light. She expected to see the Hellish visions she’d seen before: the demon with its crimson eyes, waiting to devour her.

  And she did.

  It was in the bedsit, so tall that its horns brushed the high ceiling. The antlers were as wide and fearsome as she remembered them, a beastly mouthful of teeth rearing and snapping. The smell attacked her with the snap, raw meat and blood in the air. Lori scrambled against the wall, pushing hard to use it to get to her feet. She spared a quick, wide-eyed glance around the room. Where was Kasabian? The dead flesh smell made her stomach flip.

  No. Not him.

  Morning was glowing faintly outside the window, and the Cervinae was all the more visible for it. Saliva dripped from its wild jaws, and its clawed arms slashed towards Lori. She jumped out of its way. Was this the Visitation that Owe had told her about? Was it here to check up on her, or did the beast mean to hurt her? Had it already hurt Kasabian before she was awake? Lori flashed to the window. Shut. He couldn’t have escaped.

  No. No. No.

  The Cervinae snapped, teeth chattering from the impact. Lori looked deep into its crimson eyes. She knew the blind terror it had given her the first time, when she was pinned and helpless in the alley. She had thought that moment was the end of her life. And she had survived. Stronger for it. A protector. Powerful. Able to defend the ones she loved. As the thoughts coursed through her mind, Lori felt her body getting stronger. The strain and rush of transformation started to pull at her chest. She gritted her teeth.

  “If you’ve hurt him, I’ll kill you.”

  There was a shudder. The whole room shook as the Cervinae shuffled from foot to foot. It stumbled backwards, a low growl escaping with a puff of air from its lungs. Lori stepped forward, the rush sinking in her own body. She saw the beast get smaller and thinner, sinking against the bathroom door. Its black skin fell away, shifting to a sienna shade. Its clawed hands grasped out wildly, the sharpness fading off into long, calloused fingers before Lori’s eyes. Her chest ached, tears stinging at her eyes. The Cervinae’s crimson gaze had vanished, leaving two almost-black eyes.

  Kasabian blinked, and the last of his transformation vanished. He panted and heaved, holding his chest as he looked around. When his wide eyes met Lori’s, he scrambled on the floor towards her, clasping her leggings. She crouched, taking hold of his shoulders, pulling him up to face her. His lips trembled.

  “What happened?”

  Lori’s mouth opened, but there was a pause before she spoke. She furrowed her brow.

  “You don’t know?”

  Kasabian looked at one of his hands, then down at the floor of the bedsit. Lori followed his gaze. There were dents in the carpet now, where his heavy feet had been a moment ago.

  “I… No. I black out sometimes. I’m sorry.” He clutched her arms where they held him, looking up at her. “Did I hurt you?”

  Lori sat herself down, cross-legged. She guided Kasabian to sit with her, as they had every morning for the last week. In the light of the new day, everything made sense. Lori took in a breath, running Marax’s words through her mind. She knew she’d have to speak carefully.

  “You said you left the D.C. before they told you anything about your condition?” she asked.

  Kasabian still had one hand on her arm. He squeezed her, nodding.

  “Well,” Lori continued. “It looks like you’re Sown of Cervinae, like me. A shapeshifter.”

  He nodded slowly. His other hand rubbed the sweat from his face. “Yeah, you said it might be that way.”

  “So this thing you did… repressing the demon with your mind…” Lori paused, biting her lip. “It didn’t work. I think your blackouts are… when the demon takes over. A friend told me it’s like being schizophrenic.”

  “Jesus…” Kasabian hissed. He rocked forward suddenly, letting go of Lori with a sharp twist of his hand. He wrapped both hands around his head, knees up to his face. “Don’t say that. It can’t be. I… I’ve mastered it, Lori. I have!”

  His voice began to break, the next words lost in a wild sob. Lori tried to pry his hands away to see his face, but Kasabian wouldn’t budge. He sobbed into his knees and Lori rubbed the arch of his back, a few moments passing. When he had his breath back, she heard him sniff and few times. He didn’t emerge from the ball he’d made of his body.

  “Does that mean…” he began in a small voice. “That I might have killed those people… without even knowing?”

  Lori’s heart ached. She held onto him, arms wrapped around his curved shoulders. She knew this feeling, had been through the shock and terror herself only a couple of weeks ago. The agony she’d put herself through at Pauline’s funeral would stay with her forever, even if she now knew she was innocent. It was the wondering that did it, that terrible feeling that she wasn’t in control of her own body.

  “I know someone who can help you, Kas.”

  He shook his head, fists pushing hard against his eyes.

  “Not Matilda.” It sounded like he was choking. “I won’t go back to her and her death sentences.”

  “She’s not the only demon in town right now,” Lori said.

  Kasabian looked up at last. He had rubbed his eyes dry and red. Lori reached out, smoothing the stubble on his chin. She heard the sandpaper scratch as her hand caressed him.

  “Who do you mean?” he asked. “I don’t know of any other demons, and I’ve been here for six months.”

  Lori shrugged, trying her best smile on. “I guess he only finds you if he wants to. Please Kas, let me take you to him.”

  Kasabian pulled his face out of her grip, turning to the window. Lori watched his deep eyes flicker.

  “Maybe. I need some time to think.”

  He rolled himself forward onto his knees, yanking his body up. Lori watched him walk to the bathroom in a steady line. No dizziness or weakness from the transformation. When he’d shut the door, Lori threw a change of clothes on quickly. She unplugged Granddad’s old phone and shoved it into her hoodie pocket. She swapped it for hers at the charging point, opening up the voicemail. She could get Marax’s number from the saved message. He would be able to help, able to protect Kasabian. Lori listened carefully and wrote the number down on the back of Addy’s book. She redialled with a flutter of buttons, keeping her voice low.

  “A
llardyce.”

  “Oh.” Lori blinked. “I was calling for Marax.”

  Allardyce sighed. “He’s been using my phone again. What is it Lori? Are you okay? Why are you whispering?”

  “I’m calling for a friend.” Lori cupped her hand against the mouthpiece. “Another hybrid. I think Marax might be able to help him.”

  There was a pause. “I don’t mean to be… indelicate, Lori, but Marax doesn’t take in every waif and stray. He likes you because you’re clever. What’s this friend of yours got that might be useful to Marax? I’ll have to tell him something to interest him.”

  “Uh…”

  Lori blanked. She tapped the fingers of her free hand against her knee, casting an eye quickly towards the bathroom door. It was still closed. The sound of running water was burbling through from the other side. Kasabian might be washing. Lori tried not to think of his body. It was weird to have these flashes of thoughts whilst she was supposed to be on the phone. She blinked, her mind sparking.

  “How about a hybrid that’s managed to stay alive nearly two years after being Sown?”

  Another pause on the line.

  “Lori, that’s impossible.” Allardyce’s voice was even lower than usual.

  “He’s healthy and his scar is full circle. Way past Harvest. I’ve seen it.”

  She waited, chest buzzing. There was a fumble at the other end of the line. Allardyce coughed.

  “Where are you? Should I come and pick you two up?”

  “No, it’s all right. We’re in a flat near the railway station. We can walk from here. I’ll see you later th-”

  “Near the station?” Allardyce cut in.

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “Matilda…” Allardyce’s voice had turned breathy. “She’s on her way to a flat near the station right now. I… I think your friend is the one she’s been looking for.”