She smacked Rain’s shoulder and pointed. Together, Bryn following behind, they went to help move the next tree with the Company.
“Where’s Leshaun?” she asked, wrapping her arms around the tree as best she could.
“Setting up camp deeper in the woods. Bryn, how did the carts do getting out there?”
“There’s enough clear space that they can get in and out. We didn’t get them stuck. We found a campin’ clearing. I’m pretty sure we’ve stopped here before.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Nevyn said, grunting.
She looked over to Mat, who was at the end. He was going to do most of the lifting at the front with Alchan so it didn’t get caught on anything.
“On three,” Alchan said down the line. “Three. Two. One. Move.”
She growled as she half lifted and half pushed the tree with the Company. It was huge and heavy. One of the males near her snarled at the load. It felt so slow as they moved the tree together as a team. She was in the back and they were careful not to try and push too fast so they didn’t throw off Alchan or Mat. Those two in the lead were careful not to try and pull too quickly and leave the rest of them trying to catch up and fumbling.
Finally, they were off the road and deep enough in the woods that they could slowly drop it. Mave was panting, like everyone else.
“Shit, there’s one more?” Nevyn laughed, but it sounded pained.
“We can do it,” she promised. She needed to lean over and put her hands on her knees. That had been harder than she expected. She realized quickly that she should have stretched before jumping in to do heavy lifting.
Stupid. Mave, the road and the calm are getting to you.
She wasn’t sure why she was beating herself up. No one had stretched before doing this. It had been something she did for years, though. She liked to make sure her body was warmed up before this sort of training.
The problem was, her back was now hurting. It had a dull ache. The sun was beginning to dip as well, marking the start of evening. They had already been at this for a long time.
“Ya should sit the next one out,” Bryn said, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Why?” she demanded, looking up at him to see he seemed concerned.
“Muscles in yer wings are attached to yer back. Ya screw up yer back doing this and we’ll get behind on yer wings.” He bent over further. “Ya don’t need to hurt yerself to help us.”
“I can help,” she said, not bothering to hide the bite to her words.
He sighed, pulling away with his hands up like he’d given up. She straightened up and winced. He must have noticed because he reached out and grabbed her shoulder again, rubbing it like he did when he massaged out her sore and stiff muscles.
“I told ya,” he said softly, not bothering to hide the bite in his own words. “Ya don’t see Leshaun over here hurting himself.”
“Is this why Alchan had me on branches?” she asked.
The rogue nodded. “While ya strengthen your wings, ya need to be mindful of yer back. He knows this.” He continued to rub her shoulders, now with both hands. She looked around to see most of the Company had wandered off. When she began to walk back out of the woods, Bryn held her back. “The last one is smaller. They don’t need us. We’ll get back on the small things when I’m sure ya didn’t mess up anything back here yet.”
“I don’t need this.” She was feeling a bit childish, needing him to continue to work those fingers and thumbs in her back. He hit the tender spot lower in her back and rubbed into it harder. She couldn’t stop the betraying sound that came from her mouth.
He stopped this time. “Ya keep doing that,” he said softly in her ear. “I’m goin’ to need ya to stop.”
“Sorry,” she mumbled, looking back at him over her shoulder. “Can’t help it.”
“Should tell Matesh to do this,” he muttered softly. “Speaking of.”
She looked back towards the road and saw the males bringing the last tree into the woods. Rain wasn’t helping them this time either, which meant he was probably working on the debris again. Mat looked up from his task and saw her. With a smile, he called for them to stop when they were deep enough into the woods. The tree was dropped and she saw how he took in the scene of her and Bryn. Bryn had gone suspiciously quiet and was working faster on her back than he normally did.
Mat’s eyes flicked between them and an eyebrow went up. She wasn’t sure what was going through his mind. Had she done something wrong again?
He sees Bryn helping me all the time. If he’s upset this time, I might take his balls. I’m not in the mood for it.
“Did she hurt herself?” he asked Bryn as he got closer. She growled, mad he would immediately ask Bryn and not her.
Am I some fool who just hurts myself now and needs a male?
“Nah, just worked the muscles harder than they should have been. Doin’ this before she’s too sore for the rest of the evenin’. It’ll help her tomorrow too. She won’t be as sore as the rest of us.”
“Thank you.” Mat sounded genuinely pleased with Bryn’s report and turned to her. “Trying to hurt yourself for us?” He was smart enough to put a teasing note into it, because her anger with him dissipated.
“I didn’t think it was a problem. Stupidly didn’t stretch.” She tried not to let his stare make her break down and admit how guilty she was of doing this to herself.
“Luckily, Bryn knows all about this sort of thing. When you two are done, come eat dinner. Leshaun is probably already making something for everyone. I’ll make sure there’s enough left for you both.” He had a strange smile as he kissed her cheek and walked away.
“What is with him?” she asked out loud to herself after he disappeared.
“He’s comin’ to terms with his place with ya and how I’m not a threat. He was dealin’ with some jealousy issues on the ship. They’re leavin’.” Bryn pulled his hands away. “It’s not like I’m out to steal ya from him, and he knows that.”
“With hands like yours, you could,” she said innocently, just trying to joke. She would never leave Matesh. Something about the big male was too tied up in her life now, and she didn’t want to get rid of him. There was also no denying how those hands Bryn had tended to make her feel a lot better when he put them on her.
Bryn’s face darkened as his eyelids dropped into a heavy stare. “Don’t tease,” he ordered softly. He stepped around her and walked away, leaving her alone in the trees as if she’d threatened him.
Frowning, she followed. She’d made jokes like that with the males in the Company before. She wouldn’t have tried to make the joke if she knew it would bother him. She was just growing more comfortable with them by the day, and that feeling made her want to try her hand at humor.
This time, it had obviously not landed. Maybe it was because of the bed thing.
She wasn’t sure, and by the time she made it back to camp, Bryn was up in a tree over them with a bowl and spoon, eating and ignoring the Company. Rain was beginning to come down as the sunlight disappeared. This wasn’t their first wet night on the road, but she really wanted it to be the last.
“Did something happen?” Mat asked softly, handing her a bowl when she sat down beside him.
“I made a joke. I’ll need to apologize for it later, it seems.”
“What was the joke?” he asked gently, looking concerned.
“Doesn’t matter.” She took a bite of the stew. She closed her eyes as spices assaulted her. Damned Andinna food. Why did they always make it hurt so bad? She was beginning to miss the damned slop. “Leshaun went crazy with this one.”
“It’s a traditional recipe to fight the cold of the mountains,” Mat explained, failing to hide a grin at her expense. “It’s not so bad.”
She glared at him until he was smart enough to drop his eyes and stop snickering. She refused to hold him when they made it to their bedrolls that night, just to be petty with him.
23
Brynec
“Of course I could hear them, love. I don’t see why you want to know. You ask me for this every time. Stop being so nosy.” Varon’s hands were moving quickly enough to show he was annoyed with Nevyn’s line of questioning.
“He hugged her. Bryn doesn’t hug people, and you know it’s not normal for her. You think it’s going to happen? They deserve each other, I’m positive. Look at how friendly they’ve been over the last couple of weeks.”
Bryn had to strain to hear Nevyn in Andena, but he could. Even though it was just barely a whisper, he was able to figure out what was being said.
“I am too, but I’m not going to gossip their entire conversations to you.” Varon threw his hands up when he was done.
“You should. I’m just saying. We don’t keep secrets from each other.” Nevyn was accusing, but not in a mean way. Bryn knew he was teasing Varon for trying to maintain Bryn’s privacy.
I can’t believe they’re talkin’ about me. Between them and Matesh…
Bryn shifted, turning away from his friends to look out over the road. He didn’t want to be with Mave. He was positive that she would want other, bigger males. She liked the males like Matesh, and he wasn’t going to try to compete with any of those. Plus, she probably didn’t want someone who kept bringing up painful memories. He knew he pushed her, always trying to get her to talk about things. He was just trying to be helpful. He knew what it meant to have someone who could understand.
I don’t have those sorts of feelings for her.
She was stunning, in that classic Andinna female way. He could admit that. He could watch her train with a sword all day and not think he was wasting time. He could imagine how she looked in those leather breeches when her back turned to him.
At the very idea, his cock got hard and his mouth watered, making him curse.
Maybe I am into her. Doesn’t change the fact that she wouldn’t want a skinny male like me. I’m not big like Matesh and she’s too strong to have anythin’ but big males like him.
Even as he tried to convince himself it would never happen, his mind assaulted him with images of what it would be like to trace her scars with his tongue. What she could possibly taste like. He’d been close enough now to know what she smelled like and knew he liked it. Like mountain earth, fresh from the rain. He wanted to live in the scent, sleep with it like he did on the ship.
“No,” he snapped to himself. I’m not anythin’ more than physically attracted to her. I ain’t entertainin’ more than that. It’s been weeks of just her. We’ll get back to the village and I’ll be able to get some space.
“Bryn?”
He cursed silently to himself again, looking down. He hadn’t realized that Nevyn and Varon were now on their patrol underneath him.
“Nothin’,” he called down softly.
“All right,” Nevyn said back, disbelieving.
He made sure they were gone before continuing his thoughts on the matter of the female sleeping on a bedroll next to her massive male. The big male that was strong enough to walk out of the pits like it barely happened, coming out with a pretty female and as the first member of a new mayara.
She wouldn’t want a male like him because he was used. What good would she have of him? He wasn’t the most dominant. He wasn’t too strong. He was a rogue because it was the best way for him to learn to kill. He’d been too small, compared to the other gladiators he’d known, and he needed his own ways of winning. If that meant he shanked one of them before a fight, then that’s what he would do. If that meant he found a poison to put on his blades without their owners knowing, he did that. He had to be cunning, since he couldn’t overpower or dominate the others.
She was everything he wasn’t. She was powerful and dangerous, with enough brute strength in her that even big males had to take a step back. She couldn’t overpower them, being so much smaller, but she was still powerful. She didn’t have to do the things he’d done to survive.
He would never be strong enough for her. It was wishful thinking to consider the idea of being with her, being a casual lover or a cherished member of her mayara. It didn’t matter which. He would pick up the scraps if he could.
And she helped him sleep. He wondered if she knew the importance of that. How it had been so easy to fall asleep next to her during a storm that normally would have driven him mad. She had been warm and comfortable, offering him a shred of peace and a bed he didn’t belong in.
He’d given in to her demand because he knew he’d never get another chance to be in that bed. He hadn’t told Mat that. He wasn’t an idiot. It would have given the big male grounds to take his head off and throw it overboard. He just wanted to experience that bed, just once. Looking back, he knew he was stupid, but he couldn’t resist. Not at that moment, not feeling the way he had. The fear, the old memories flooding back, and a chance at the mayara bed even if it was chaste?
Oh no, he couldn’t resist it. Not even for a moment. Luykas should have grabbed him and yanked him from it the moment he’d given in. Mave should have never offered.
I loved it there.
Bryn looked down at his hands, playing with a dagger he held without reason. He should have been sharpening it. He’d started before he caught Nevyn and Varon talking during their patrols.
There were other things to consider. She was still feeling out her place in the Company. She was about to be thrust into the new center of their culture. The main village was a learning experience for anyone who spent too much time away from their people. It took Bryn years to get used to the place. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how she was going to react when they got there.
He tried to take his mind off it all by starting to sharpen his dagger again. There was nothing he could do about his growing attraction to Maevana Lorren.
Skies, even her damned name is beautiful. I wish she would use it.
Mave suited her in the idea that she was a gladiator, full of pain and anger, with the potential to hurt people. Maevana was the beautiful and perfect Andinna she could be. It was everything he found when she let him sleep in her mayara bed that Matesh made her.
He needed space from her, he decided. Thinking of her as a gladiator reminded him of all the bad things she had probably lived through, the darkness he saw in her eyes. He couldn’t pressure her just because she was able to get his cock up. It was more difficult than she thought. He’d never risen so easy for anyone, but the way her eyes had trailed down, the confidence that she could do it? It had made his mind wander into a place where he imagined her freeing his cock and using it as she wanted.
He’d gotten hard instantly. Luckily, it wasn’t too difficult for him to get it to stop. He just needed to remember his time in Myrsten and it went away quickly enough.
And then her comment today? How his hands could make her make those sounds? That damned little moan she made haunted him in his sleep every time she did it. He wanted more of it.
Space. He would never have her, so he needed space. He didn’t want her to know how he was feeling and thinking it was her fault or her problem. Not after everything haunting her.
Lost in his thoughts again, he nearly missed them. Looking up to stare at the night scene of the road, he was surprised to see a group there. No one traveled Olost roads at night. No one who wasn’t out looking for trouble, that was.
He didn’t jump down immediately. Instead he went very still, except for his arm, sheathing his dagger slowly, hoping it didn’t catch any light from the red moon. He slid gingerly off his perch and carefully went down the tree, hoping not to disturb anything.
He made it down without a sound, pulling his wings so tight against his back, h
e felt like they were bound again. He pulled his scarf over the bottom half of his face, creeping towards the group on the road. He didn’t look back for Nevyn or Varon, knowing it would waste precious time. They could just be stupid travelers that hadn’t bedded down, trying to get somewhere.
As he got closer, though, he realized his suspicions were right.
“You sure this is going to work?” one of the Elvasi asked, looking at another for reassurance.
“I don’t see any lookouts. The trail leads into the woods. We’ll catch them with their pants down in there.” The arrogance of the Elvasi wasn’t anything Bryn hadn’t heard before. He turned back, creeping deeper into the grove back to the sleeping Company. He found Nevyn and Varon first, signing quickly.
“Elvasi on the road. Wake up the Company. They could come on us at any moment.”
The lovers jumped into action immediately, one going for Alchan and Luykas and the other for Mave and Matesh. Bryn went for Rain and Zayden, nudging them gently. They didn’t want too much noise or it would give away that they knew something was coming.
“Up. Elvasi,” he signed to them as their eyes opened. He moved on to Leshaun nearby and gently shook the old male’s shoulder. Out loud, he whispered, “Leshaun, take cover. We’re about to have attackers.”
“Okay. Is everyone-”
“You’re last to rise. Go to the carts and horses. Be prepared to run if you need to. We’re probably going to retreat if we can.” Bryn didn’t like ordering the older male to hide while they all fought, but not because he thought Leshaun should fight. He knew Leshaun disliked his old age. It was why he continued to run missions. Bryn was convinced, like most of the Company, that the old male needed to retire and take a safer role in a village. Maybe this would be it. Maybe these last few months would convince him to stay in the village with Rain for the next mission.
Leshaun moved as fast as his old bones were capable of. Bryn pulled a dagger to check it as Alchan came up beside him.
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