by Lynn Hagen
Not really. Jeremy’s hand shook as he stared at the pad, but his mind was still in the kitchen. What exactly had Cyril just offered? To rub Jeremy’s dick with his thumb? That was the weirdest offer Jeremy had ever heard.
And damn it, now it was all Jeremy thought about.
“Cats will do that to you.” Moose gave a hearty laugh, as if he found something funny that Jeremy wasn’t privy to.
“What do cats have to do with indigestion?”
“You poor little fella.” Moose patted Jeremy on the head. Pat. Pat. “You have no idea.”
“And I still don’t,” Jeremy said as Moose walked away. “Hello? Care to clear that up?”
“Nope,” Moose called over his shoulder. “Ask Cyril.”
Jeremy wasn’t asking Cyril shit. In fact, he would try to avoid the man at all costs.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t happening. Not when Jeremy had to take tubs of dirty dishes into the kitchen. And every time he did, Cyril smirked at him.
* * * *
Cyril was determined to make Jeremy comfortable around him. As the day wore on, Jeremy seemed less and less clumsy and wasn’t stuttering so much. He even smiled once or twice while bringing the dirty dishes into the kitchen.
This time when Jeremy came in, Cyril had a glass of ice-cold tea waiting for him. “Take a break.” He handed his mate the glass and pointed to the folding chair by the fridge.
Jeremy accepted it and dropped into the chair. “Thanks. I didn’t know a diner could stay so busy.”
“It’s like this most of the time. The weekends are brutal.” Cyril dropped another batch of chicken into the fryer before he pulled the large pan of meatloaf from the oven. The savory scents filled the kitchen, reminding Cyril that he’d yet to eat today.
“Why don’t you hire an assistant?” Jeremy asked.
“I thought I had, but you prefer bussing tables.”
Jeremy snorted. “Put me in charge of cooking and your diner will shut down from lack of customers.”
“I micromanage too much to trust anyone else in my kitchen.” Cyril stole a glance over his shoulder and caught Jeremy staring at his butt. That hadn’t been the first time, either. Every time Jeremy came into the kitchen his gaze slid over Cyril.
“But you wanted to trust me?” Jeremy set his glass aside. “I would prefer not to run you out of business.”
“Okay.” Cyril set the pan of meatloaf aside. “How about you run things from behind the counter? I’m pretty sure you can handle taking orders and pouring coffee.”
“Who said I wanted a job?”
Cyril hadn’t thought about Jeremy turning him down. His mate might not know how to cook, but they seemed to work well together. “Why, do you have another job?”
Jeremy looked toward the floor then grabbed his glass and took a long sip. Cyril knew when someone was avoiding a question. “Tonight, after I shut everything down, you’re going to tell me about yourself.”
Jeremy crinkled his nose. “Why do you want to know about me?”
“I told you a lot about myself. It’s only fair.” Cyril cut the meatloaf into slices then stirred the homemade mashed potatoes on the stove. “Is that a deal?”
“There’s nothing to tell about me,” Jeremy said. “I got married when I was twenty-two, lost my wife two years ago, and have been drowning my sorrows ever since. There’s my story in a nutshell.”
“What about before you were married?” Although Jeremy blushed a lot, and checked out Cyril’s body when he thought Cyril wasn’t looking, the idea that Jeremy was straight hadn’t entered his mind.
And it should have. The guy had been married to a woman. He prayed like hell that Jeremy was bisexual, or Cyril was in serious trouble. But his mate’s covert glances said he had to, at least, be bisexual or, at the very least, bicurious.
His panther snarled at the thought that Jeremy was completely straight. So did Cyril. Never being able to touch Jeremy in an intimate way felt like a death sentence. It had been hard enough today keeping his hands to himself. Over a dozen times he’d been close to pulling Jeremy close and kissing the shit out of him.
“I kind of drifted along.” Jeremy shrugged. “I had an okay job but no family. I had a dog for about six months until he ran away. I adopted Lady from a shelter, and for the past year, she’s been my only companion. Honestly, my life before marriage had been pretty boring, like it is now.”
Cyril worked while Jeremy talked. He didn’t need to get behind on his work, but now that he had Jeremy opening up, he didn’t want the guy to clam up on him. “So you have no one?”
Jeremy’s shoulders slowly rose then fell. “It’s always been just me, until I met Lilly.” He ran his hand up his arm then down again. “But I’m not gonna keep dwelling on…that.” He took in a deep breath and let it out. “I have to move on, right?”
Cyril crossed the room and hunched down in front of Jeremy. He tapped his mate on the chest where his heart beat. “You move on when you’re ready to. Don’t let anyone tell you when that time is.”
Jeremy gave him a wobbly smile. “You’re the only person who has ever said that to me.”
“Mourning doesn’t have a timetable, Jeremy. Emotions aren’t faucets. We can’t just turn them on and off.”
Jeremy took a sip of his tea. “Can we change the subject?”
Cyril smiled. “What do you want to talk about?”
“How about the fact that your chicken is burning.”
Cyril jumped up and ran to the fryer, pulling the basket out and cursing. The chicken wasn’t that bad, but Cyril refused to serve food that wasn’t the very best. He’d take this batch home and eat it later.
He dropped fresh chicken and pulled the pot of mashed potatoes off the burner and then worked to get the orders taken care of.
What he liked most was that Jeremy joined him at his side, helping him prepare the plates.
Jeremy put them in the order window and called out to Moose as if their conversation from moments before had never taken place, but he did look a bit better than he had when he’d first come into the kitchen.
Jeremy smiled. “Now that you’re caught up, I’m gonna clear tables and serve coffee.”
“Multitasking.” Cyril grinned. “I like that.”
“I have my moments.” Jeremy gave him a heart-stopping smile before he hurried away with his empty tub.
Cyril watched him from the window as Jeremy talked with the customers and joked with Moose, and he noticed how light the human’s steps were.
He wasn’t expecting Jeremy to heal overnight, but maybe Cyril was just what Jeremy needed to help him move on.
* * * *
After his conversation with Cyril, Jeremy wasn’t so bogged down with his emotions. Cyril said he should take his time, but Jeremy knew he needed to start moving on. He’d loved Lily with all his heart, but she was gone, and…
He cleared his throat and forced the tears back. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t ready just yet, but he was taking steps in the right direction. With Moose’s and Cyril’s friendship, Jeremy wasn’t so isolated and alone anymore.
As he cleared the table at one of the booths, Jeremy heard the bell above the door. He wasn’t sure why he looked up, but when he did, he almost dropped the filled tub of dishes.
Lily? No, it couldn’t be her. Jeremy smashed his eyes closed and breathed out slowly. When he opened them, he saw it was Alan, Lily’s brother.
What on earth was Alan doing in town? He looked so much like Lily that Jeremy choked on a sob and rushed into the kitchen to set the tub down and catch his breath.
“What’s wrong?” Cyril was at his side in seconds.
“I can’t…I need…breathe…” Jeremy rushed to Cyril’s office and slammed the door closed, blowing out a few breaths as he tried to calm his racing heart. Alan hadn’t been Lily’s twin, but seeing Alan walk into the diner had been a shock wave that Jeremy couldn’t recover from.
His stomach was in twisted knots, and he was hyperventilating
. Jeremy fanned his face, trying desperately to catch his breath.
“Jeremy?” Cyril entered the office with concern in his eyes. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Jeremy waved a finger at the door. “I just saw Lily’s brother.”
“In the diner?”
Jeremy nodded. He kept fanning himself as sweat gathered. He felt lightheaded and ready to pass out. For a brief second, oh god…Jeremy had thought Lily had walked into the diner!
His breathing was choppy as the room began to spin. Tears flowed as a hard, burning lump formed in his throat.
“Sit.” Cyril coaxed Jeremy into a chair. “I’ll get you some water.”
“Thank y-you.” Jeremy wrapped his arms around his midsection. Why was Alan showing up now? He hadn’t seen the guy since the wedding, and Alan had made it perfectly clear how he hadn’t approved of the two getting married.
Alan hadn’t approved of Lily’s lifestyle, period. He thought it unnatural that Lily—who had been born Lyle—pretended to be a woman. Jeremy would never understand close-minded people.
“Here you go.” Cyril returned with a glass of water, and Jeremy drank it down. He wished the water had been something stronger. He didn’t want to face Alan. Jeremy wanted nothing to do with the guy.
“Tell me about her brother.” Cyril hunched down in front of Jeremy and rested his forearms on Jeremy’s thighs. Jeremy couldn’t understand how Cyril’s touch helped to calm him. His breathing returned to normal, and his heart slowed. He was still sweating, but at least he wasn’t ready to pass out.
“I can’t say he’s a bad person.” Jeremy set the glass down. “He just has opinions that clash with mine.”
Alan had never been mean to Jeremy, but Jeremy had always felt the disapproving look whenever he and Lily were around him. Especially when they were dating. What had angered Jeremy the most was that Lily’s parents turned their backs on her when she decided to be who she was.
Alan knew that had hurt Lily’s heart, and he had sworn to her that he would never do that to her, but the anger in his eyes had said differently.
Jeremy explained to Cyril about Lily’s identity choice and Alan’s opinion.
“So, wait. Lily was a guy?”
“No,” Jeremy corrected. “Lily was…Lily. The sweetest and most giving person I have ever known.”
“Right, okay. You just caught me by surprise.” Cyril rubbed a hand up and down Jeremy’s right thigh. “And Alan hated that about her?”
“He never voiced his opinion, but I felt the strain whenever we were around him.” But the main reason Jeremy didn’t want to deal with Alan was because of how much he looked like Lily. It was almost like seeing her ghost.
“I’ll take care of him.” Cyril got up, but Jeremy grabbed his wrist.
“No, this is something I have to do.”
Cyril’s face hardened, making Jeremy pull his hand away.
“I’m not letting you near him if he’s just gonna bring you down, Jeremy. You’ve had a really good day, and I’m not letting him spoil it.”
Jeremy stood and patted Cyril’s muscled chest. The last thing he needed to think about was how good it felt to touch Cyril, but damn…wow…his chest felt like he had steel plates under his skin. He rested his hand there for longer than he should have but finally pulled it away.
“I’ll handle this.” Jeremy walked out of the office, took a breath in the kitchen, and then made his way to the dining area. Alan was seated at the counter, talking with Moose.
Jeremy paused to remind himself that it wasn’t Lily sitting there. He latched onto how Alan used to treat her and marched over to where the guy was seated.
“What are you doing here?” Jeremy asked. He didn’t turn around to confirm Cyril was watching from the order window, but Jeremy felt his gaze burning into his back. He was also pretty sure Cyril was throwing Alan some nasty stares, too.
But Jeremy was glad Cyril hadn’t come out. He really did need to do this on his own and respected Cyril even more for staying back.
Alan’s blond brows rose as he looked Jeremy up and down. “Why the nasty attitude toward someone you haven’t seen in two years?”
Moose looked between them just as his boyfriend strode into the diner. Sheriff Copache took a seat at one of the booths, oblivious to what was happening at the counter.
But Moose didn’t move. Well, he did. He moved closer to Jeremy as he eyed Alan.
And Jeremy loved his giant friend for that. He just wasn’t sure why Moose was looking at Alan with curious eyes.
Jeremy blew out a calming breath. “Okay,” he said with a plastic smile in place. “What brings you to Maple Grove?”
When Alan smiled, it was like watching a snake smile. “Can’t I come to visit you?”
This was so out of character for Alan that Jeremy wasn’t sure what to say. But he found the words. “Why would you want to see me? It wasn’t like you approved of me and Lily.”
When Jeremy said her name, the skin under Alan’s eye twitched. But he returned the smile. Jeremy wasn’t sure if Alan was a good actor or if he was genuine, because that smile looked sad and real.
“I know I was an ass back then, but people can change.” Alan shifted in his seat. “I was hoping to mend fences and get to know what Ly…Lily was really like. I was hoping you could help me with that.”
The pain of Jeremy’s loss intensified as he stared into Alan’s face. Could he hang around Alan without being constantly reminded of what he’d lost?
“I’m sorry…but I…I can’t. It’s best you go back home.” Jeremy hurried to the kitchen, pressing a hand to his chest. His heart was thrashing as he sat in the folding chair, trying to get his bearings.
Cyril was at his side once more, a glass of water in his hand. “You okay?”
“I’m not sure what I am.” Jeremy took the water but didn’t down it this time. He took a sip and stared at the swinging kitchen door, willing Alan to leave and never return.
Chapter Four
Moose watched as the stranger headed out of the diner. He didn’t trust the little fucker. He also didn’t like the way Jeremy reacted to him showing up. Jeremy seemed to finally be making headway, and Moose wasn’t going to let some asshole screw that up.
As soon as the guy was gone, Moose moved over to the order window, caught Cyril’s attention, and jerked his chin to tell him to come here.
Cyril exited the kitchen.
“He seems slimy to me,” Moose said.
Cyril looked around the diner before his attention landed back on Moose. “I don’t have a good feeling about him, either.”
“He’s a shifter,” Moose said. “I smelled hyena all over him. I’m not sure if you’ve ever run across one of them, but they’re shifty bastards who can never be trusted.”
“Alan’s a shifter?” Cyril’s brows arched slightly.
“Yep.” Moose tapped the side of his nose. “I’m gonna have lunch with my boo, but when I’m done, I’m gonna see if he left town.”
“No.” Cyril shook his head. “I really do need you here.” Cyril scratched at his long beard. “I wanted to ask you—”
“I’ll do it.” Moose smiled. “I like working here. But you gotta let me eat for free.”
Cyril narrowed his eyes. “Fine, but your meals are gonna be small. I don’t need you eating me out of business.”
Moose shook Cyril’s hand. Since Moose had given the deputy job to his friend Darren, he needed something to do with his time, and what better way to spend it than by being around food all day?
It was like a dream come true for Moose.
But regardless of what Cyril said, later, after his shift ended, Moose was going to track Alan down and see what the little fucker was really up to.
He considered Jeremy family, and Moose protected those he cared about.
* * * *
Once Cyril closed the diner down, he waved toward his car. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
Cyril would much rather take Jeremy
to his house, but the guy looked exhausted, and he didn’t want to have a debate with his mate. But he would call him later just to check on him, especially with Alan in town.
“Thanks.” Jeremy yawned as he walked to the passenger side of Cyril’s Charger. Jeremy slipped in and buckled his seat belt before closing his eyes.
“Come on,” Cyril said teasingly as he started the car. “I didn’t work you that hard.”
In fact, Cyril had given Jeremy multiple breaks. His mate just hadn’t taken all of them. The guy might suck at cooking, but he was handy to have around. He cleaned tables, helped prep plates, poured coffee, and had even spent some time in Cyril’s office, going over his financial paperwork.
Jeremy had caught two errors Cyril had made in his entries. That was what happened when Cyril did the books while dead tired.
“I liked staying busy.”
“Then I’ll see you bright and early?” Cyril made a pit stop at the bank to deposit the day’s earnings before he drove toward Jeremy’s house. He turned onto Jeremy’s street when his mate told him to. He was shocked his mate lived this close and Cyril had never run into him before yesterday. That just went to show how hard Cyril worked at the diner and how isolated Jeremy had been.
But Cyril planned on changing that. Jeremy hadn’t technically said he’d take the job, but Cyril would make sure that he did. His mate didn’t need to spend time in his empty house dwelling on the past and his loss.
“Oh fuck!” Jeremy unsnapped his seat belt and dropped to the floor.
Cyril had no idea what was going on until he spotted Alan standing on the front steps of a white house with red trim. He had a mind to pull into the driveway and kick Alan’s ass, but Cyril kept driving, going right past Jeremy’s house.
He pulled his cell out and dialed. “Hey, Moose. I need a favor.”
“Already on it,” Moose said. “You just drove by Jeremy’s house.”
“How did you—”