by Elle Harper
The image of soft creamy curves and a veil of dark hair crossed his mind unbidden, and he barked an order at a nearby mechanic.
What had he been thinking, telling her he’d bring a portscreen back for her? He didn’t have time for this distraction.
And yet being away from her put him on edge.
This was a ridiculous, stupid obsession.
Even so, he found himself, a few hours later, standing in front of her door, portscreen in hand, pressing the buzzer to be admitted. When the door slid open, the first sight of her was almost painful. Her delicate, curvaceous body looked so perfect it seemed to be sorcery, even in a garment that was never meant to clothe one like her. That long, rippling veil of shiny dark hair, her strange eyes… everything. The scent of her, filling the small quarters, made him want to do nothing but sink himself as deeply into her as he could.
“Rassan?” she asked, and he growled, realizing he’d been staring at her like a young soldier on his first leave after training. She looked at him with her oddly-colored eyes, her plump lower lip pulled between her teeth slightly.
“I brought this,” he shoved the portscreen at her and she took it, inspecting it, turning it over in her hands, a look of wonder and curiosity on her face as she did. She took it over to her bed and sat on the edge, curling her legs up beneath her body.
“Do you want me to show you how to use it?”
She nodded, still looking at the portscreen as it lit up in her hands. He looked around for somewhere to sit, but the only piece of furniture in her quarters large enough to withstand both of them was the bed. “We need to get you some chairs. Or a sofa,” he muttered.
“Why?”
He heaved a sigh and sat down next to her on the bed, his weight on the mattress making her tilt closer to him. “Are you always like this?” he asked.
“Always like what?”
“With the questions.”
She looked over at him. “I suppose so?”
He closed his eyes.
“Is that a problem? Does it bother you? Should I ask you even more questions?” she said, and he looked over at her, the mischievous sparkle in her eyes unmistakable.
“You are trying to irritate me.”
“Isn’t that your natural state?”
“What?”
“Do you ever do anything other than scowl? Or sigh or look like you want to punch things?”
“You’re asking questions again.”
“Am I?” And there was that glint of mischief again.
“Keep it up and I will give you something better to do with your mouth,” he murmured, then had the pleasure of watching her cheeks turn pink and her eyes widen before she looked away. And how her body warmed… he could feel it, even through his thick armor, his sensitive flesh easily able to distinguish the few degrees of warmth that changed between them.
“Now, are you ready to focus on the portscreen?” he asked, and she nodded, still blushing.
“All right. Start by simply tapping anywhere. It’ll ask you for credentials. I already programmed them in for you, but you can change your passcode if you’d like to ensure your privacy.”
She nodded, doing as he said. He showed her the basics, leaning toward her as she leaned toward him.
It took everything in him, every bit of discipline, not to touch her. Not to lean in and bury his face against the softness of her neck, knowing he’d smell her even more strongly there.
The bells chimed seven, and she looked up from the portscreen. “Oh. I have to go… I promised I’d meet the rest of my crewmates for dinner.”
He nodded, rising, then offering her a hand, which she took looking at him uncertainly, standing from the bed.
One day, he’d help her out of it when they’d shared it in a more intimate way, he thought, and then tried to push the thought as far away as he could. He looked down at her to see her blushing, almost as if she knew what he’d been thinking—
He froze.
“Your people cannot read minds, can they?” he asked her, knowing he sounded even more gruff than usual.
She shook her head. “Nope. Why?”
“Just wondering,” he muttered. “Did you want me to escort you to the eating hall?”
“Oh. No I can find it. You’ve already spent so much time helping me! And I want to freshen up a little before I go see them.”
“If you’re certain,” he said, and she nodded up at him.
“Thank you again, Rassan.”
He nearly groaned. The sound of his name from her lips… it had his body responding in ways it hadn’t in a very long time.
“All right then. Be well, Harper,” he said quickly, walking out before he could hear her say anything else to him.
He couldn’t do this. He’d avoid her. She was set up and had the things she needed now. She didn’t need him or his help. He nodded to himself as he walked away.
∆∆∆
“Where did you get that?” Kat nearly squealed when Harper showed them her portscreen.
“Rassan got it for me,” Harper said. “He asked me if I needed anything and this was one of the options.”
“No one asked me if I needed anything,” Isabella said, snatching the port screen from Harper’s hand. “Really they’ve pretty much left us alone. Asked if we needed help, told us how to find someone if we needed anything, gave us the run of the place, and that was pretty much it.”
Harper mulled that over.
“Come on, let's grab food,” Kat said, tugging Harper’s sleeve. They lined up behind several Izothian soldiers, both males and females. One of the females turned around and started speaking cheerfully to Kat, and they chatted all the way through the fairly long line. When they got to the buffet, Kat pointed out different foods that Harper might like, and Harper took a little bit of everything, though she was less nervous about the food now that she’d had her visit with Laalia.
“So I was thinking,” Kat said when they got back to their table and settled in with their food. “We’re here, right. And I don’t know about you bitches, but I don’t want to be a burden. I want to contribute something.”
“Obviously,” Leah drawled. “The question is what possible help can we offer them? Their technology is light years ahead of Earth’s.”
“I mean. It doesn’t have to be anything amazing, you know? At the very least, get jobs. Pay rent for wherever we live. Stuff like that.”
“Who’s going to hire us?” Viv asked.
Harper took a bite of a creamy vegetable dish. She would have to get more of that. “I actually had a job offer,” she said, and four gazes swung her way.
“Not those kinds of job offers, dear. Not that I would judge. We’ve all had that offer made.”
“What?”
“Curious alien males. And females,” Leah said with a quiet giggle.
“Oh! No i haven’t had one of those— what the hell have you guys been doing while I was unconscious, anyway?” Harper asked, earning a punch to her shoulder from Kat. “I meant, I met a nice lady in the market and she wants to hire me to work in her stall,” she said with a shrug.
“Why?”
“Because she’s nice?”
Kat rolled her eyes. “There has to be more to it than that.”
Harper shrugged, but she wouldn’t lie; she’d had the same thought. No one was that kind. She wanted to talk to Laalia again soon.
A job was probably a good idea. Kat was right. Being useful was good.
And then she could stop depending on Rassan for taking care of things she should be able to take care of herself. Why he had helped her was still beyond her.
Her thoughts strayed to the large Izothian again. She hated that her mind kept going to his bulky body, his intense gaze, his gruff demeanor. The thought that he could leave her aching in ways she couldn’t even imagine. She wondered if they did the dominance/submission thing here on Izoth, or was that an Earth thing?
“Harper!”
“What?”
“Where was y
our head? We were talking to you.”
Harper shrugged. “Maybe you were boring me.”
Kat glared at her.
“I don’t remember you being so irritating on Earth.”
“Sure she was. Remember how you used to snarl at her for asking questions all the time?” Leah asked with a laugh, and Kat shot a rude gesture her way.
They ate for a while, talking, planning, wondering things aloud. After a while, Harper noticed Kat looking at something over her shoulder.
“What?”
“Noting… did you do something to piss that big guy off? He keeps glaring your way.”
Harper turned her head to see Rassan sitting at a table with three other soldiers, his gaze firmly on her. HIs usual mask of irritation fully in place, he leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest, silent as the other three talked.
She met his gaze, her stomach twisting, then turned back to her crew. “Oh. That’s Rassan.”
“He looks like he wants to kill you,” Kat muttered.
“Or fuck you,” Viv offered helpfully, and Harper choked on the sip of fruit juice or something like it she’d just taken. This earned a titter of laughter from everyone else at the table, and she shook her head as she coughed, recovering from inhaling the juice.
“Are you all right, Harper?” a stern voice said just behind her. And there he was, watching her closely. “Do you need medical attention?”
She looked up at him, then stood. “Oh. No I’m fine. I just, drank too fast. I’m okay.”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded, standing still as he studied her. “I really am. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“It sounded painful.”
“Oh. No, just uncomfortable. You don’t cough?”
He hesitated a moment, then gave a shrug. “We don’t have anything like that.”
“Oh. Well it’s just annoying. I mean, sometimes it hurts, if you’re sick, but this wasn’t that kind of coughing.”
He watched her a moment more, as if he didn’t entirely buy it. “If you’re certain.”
“I am. I promise.” She looked up at him, for some reason wanting to reassure him, since he seemed actually concerned.
He nodded, not taking his eyes off of her, and she felt her stomach give another weird little flip.
“Are you finished here? I wanted to speak to you… when you have a chance,” he added, seeming less than thrilled about it as he nodded at her crewmates, acknowledging them.
“I can speak now. I was finished eating.”
He nodded and picked up her tray, depositing it where it was supposed to go as she told her crewmates she’d talk to them in the morning. She could feel them watching her as she walked beside Rassan out of the cafeteria.
“Are you up for a little walk? I don’t feel like sitting still,” he said, and she looked up at him again.
“Sure.”
He gave a single nod, then silently held the door open for her and they walked outside. It was cooler than it had been when she’d been outside earlier, the twin moons higher in the heliotrope sky. They wandered a little toward the market, turning off toward what Harper realized was a small park dotted with trees with large, lush leaves. A small waterfall cascaded from a cliff at one edge. Families, most of the men in military clothing similar to what Rassan wore, sat on the threadlike bluish-green grass. Izothian children played, running back and forth, shouting and laughing at each other. At one end of the park, an impromptu trio were playing instruments unlike any Harper had ever seen, the music they were creating lilting and somehow sad at the same time.
“Laalia spoke to me again about you working for her. I think it’s an excellent idea if it is what you want,” he began, seaking as they walked. He nodded in greeting to a few people as they walked, accepting and returning respectful salutes to a few soldiers.
“I think I do. I’d like to be of use here if this is going to be home now.”
He was silent for a long while. “Yes. About that.”
“Hm?”
“I was speaking to Aavi… I’m not sure if you know how society here works. Aavi is our primary healer, the best of our kind, the most respected. Which also makes her our queen. Ruler.”
“Wait. Your queen spends her days healing people?”
“Is there a more worthy thing to spend one’s time on? What do Earthen rulers do?” he asked, genuinely seeming confused.
“Truly, I have no idea.”
He considered that, then went on. “Aavi looked through your notes and the samples you brought from Earth. And she spoke to me. I mentioned your concerns about not being of use here. And Aavi, wise as she is, had a solution. And, at least for the moment, it has nothing to do with you working in the market.”
“What is it?”
“You are a botanist. From your notes, it appears that you developed remedies from common Earthen plants to treat a variety of ailments, using sometimes ancient knowledge of those plants. This became necessary, it appears, when resources on your planet became severely diminished.”
She nodded, unsure how she felt about Rassan and Aavi studying her life, or her work in that way.
“Our own planet is… while not facing that same scope of issues, facing its own challenges. She has elected to send you on an expedition. You can study and collect plants, hopefully to put them to use creating remedies for our people. She has decided that she wants you to go very soon, if it pleases you.”
If it pleases her! To study, to learn more about this world she was now part of, to be around plants! If it pleases her…
She nearly cackled with glee, but she managed to hold herself together.
“She has sent orders that you are to be assisted in every way as you travel and study, so that you may start to feel at home here. She is doing similar things for the rest of your crew as well.”
She looked at him. “She is?”
He nodded. “She has a proposal for you.”
She studied him closely. “What is it?”
“She was intrigued by the seeds and plant samples we were able to recover from your craft.”
“Those are just common herbs.”
“She has been reading a bit about how Earthen botanicals have been used in the development of remedies and medicines. As you know, our numbers are dwindling as this war continues. Part of this is that illnesses among our people are continuing to change and resist previously effective treatments. She wonders if maybe some of the things you’ve brought could be beneficial to our people.”
She thought for a while. “So in exchange for the use of my seeds and knowledge, I can study the flora of Izoth freely?”
He nodded.
She sighs. “I’m giving up all of my bargaining power here, but I would have done that anyway. All she had to do was ask.”
He was silent for a long time, and she looked up at him as they walked.
“What?” she finally prompted.
“She said you would likely say that. I didn’t believe her.”
She raised her eyebrow. “Why not?”
“Because it’s fairly rare for someone to do something and not expect anything in return. And you can’t tell me Earthens are any different from Izothians in that regard.”
She tilted her head. “I mean. Some people do the right thing just because it’s right.”
“Right,” he snorted.
“Don’t you?”
“Don’t I what?”
“You’re a soldier. You fight to defend your people. You risk your life. Do you expect anything in return?”
“No. But I also don’t know how to do anything else.” He went silent, memories flooding his mind. His former lover, Vaala, crying, berating him, her tone heartbreaking and empty.
All you know is war.
You never gave a damn about me.
I was never your priority. I made you mine, you never made me yours.
She hadn’t been wrong. Not about a single thing. And like Harper, she wa
s kind hearted, giving. Submissive. In the end, he’d failed her.
And he’d stayed away from women and relationships since. He wasn’t worthy to be a partner, to be, particularly, the sort of partner he craved being. How could he expect someone to devote herself to him, to give up control, when he wasn’t willing to put the same effort and trust into a partnership?
Harper was speaking, and he shook himself out of his thoughts, trying not to look at the curvaceous, vibrant, alluring alien walking beside him. “What was that?” he asked her.
“I said, I doubt that’s true. You have friends who like you. If you were really just about war, you wouldn’t have that.”
“My friends are better people than I am. Laalia especially. I don’t know why she considers me a friend at all.”
“Do you really feel that way or are you being humble?”
He risked a glance at her, watching for a moment as she looked around. He stopped, gesturing to a stone bench nearby. She nodded and sat down. “Have you met me? I don't think many would describe me as humble,” he said as he settled beside her.
“Maybe not humble,” she said and the soft curve of her lips as she smiled had his pulse racing. “But not full of yourself either.”
He realized after a moment that he didn’t know what to say to that. “Laalia is kind-hearted,” he finally said. “We’re getting off the subject.”
“Are we?”
He glanced at her to see that slightly impish look on her face. She knew exactly what she was doing, poking at him with her questions. Teasing him.
How long had it been since he’d known someone who possessed this combination of allure, submissiveness, and playfulness? Aside from her obvious intelligence and kindness. When those things were added into the mix, the answer was never.
“Yes, we are getting off the subject,” he said, a bit more gruffly than he’d intended, and was rewarded with a soft chuckle.
“All right. What was the subject again?”
“Aavi’s plan. You can study. She will even provide you with lab space or greenhouse space or whatever you want. But in return, she wants you to grow some of your Earthen samples and test their efficacy on some of the illnesses we are dealing with.”
“I’m not a doctor.”
“I never said you were, and neither did she. People here often grow their own plants to use as medicine. Do not Earthens do the same?”