by Tara Brown
“You’ll have to start at the beginning. How about from the moment you left here?”
“Right.” I take the glass of gin smash she passes me and sit back, inhaling and starting the story from Liam Farringdon.
It takes twenty minutes, two glasses of gin, and at some points both of my hands moving for emphases, but I manage to get through it all and land where we are now.
Grace is silent, which is always a bad sign. She finishes her drink in one long draw and pours herself a new one, but she doesn’t speak.
“Well?” I ask in a low voice, worried about what she’s going to say.
“If you screw this up, Lori, you will never recover from it. This is the fork in the path that either seals your fate with happiness or dooms you to a life of bitterness.”
I expected a lot but this is too much. “Okay.” I almost laugh but am scared of what she would do to me if I did.
“You love her—you love another person.”
“Mmmhmm.” I press my lips together.
She starts laughing.
“What?” I’m so lost.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that this is a miracle that despite your upbringing and all the glory you have sought and received, this girl has run you over and humbled you. And the strangest part is that she’s a good person.” She laughs harder. “She quit her job to protect your reputation, something you don’t even care about. She cares more for you than you do for yourself.” She takes another long drink of the gin smash and sighs, amused and shaking her head in bewilderment.
“Right.” I can’t argue with any of that.
This might be the most delighted I’ve seen Grace. “My darling boy, I sense that you’re worried about her moving out. But if you give her the space to make her own mind up, I suspect she will choose you too. She chose you already. Ruined her career and her own reputation. And now, she came all this way with you to the lion’s den. She loves you.”
I sit back in the chair, ready to process my thoughts as I always have with her.
But my parents come storming into the house, shouting because they’ve found him.
They found Sean.
25
Is it me?
Jenny
Waking up in Lori’s childhood bedroom is not how I expected this moment would one day go for me. It’s the size of an apartment.
My head hurts but the nausea is gone, thankfully. I grab my phone and check the time. It’s six, which is probably close to dinnertime around here. I would normally expect the three-hour nap to mess with my sleep, but I’m dead-assed exhausted.
Slowly, I climb out of bed and sit up, running my toes over the plush carpet. It’s softer than anything I’ve ever felt, and I smile when I remember in Die Hard Bruce Willis took his shoes off and walked over the carpet barefoot to cure his jet lag. Josh and I watch the movies every single Christmas to Judith’s dismay, which is more of a reason for us to watch them. She refuses to consider it a Christmas movie. The same way she refuses to allow all joy.
Moving like a sloth, I stand and stretch, walking over to the luggage to find my makeup bag and an outfit to wear to meet his parents. In the bathroom, my reflection makes me wince. I look like death. Pale and pasty death.
The idea of meeting them freezes me.
What if they hate me?
Sitting on the closed toilet lid, in just my underwear and bra, I Google them quickly, something I should have done before. I knew the basics about Lori from his being part of the NHL, but I never paid attention to his parents.
“Jenny?” a woman calls my name from the room.
I freeze, holding the phone and praying whoever it is doesn’t come in here.
But God never answers my prayers. He and I are friends-off right now. Officially. Particularly, when the most stunning woman walks into the bathroom. She looks like a brunette barbie doll. Except there’s a glint of something in her eyes that her wide smile can’t hide. “Hi,” she says awkwardly. “I’m Lori’s sister, Callie.” Her eyes lower to my phone and a picture of her grandfather in the article I have pulled up.
Cringing, I try to explain, “Oh my God. I’m sorry. I was getting dressed and then I realized I don’t know anything about your family. I Googled—”
“It’s fine,” she mutters but I can tell it isn’t. “Uhm, Lori’s not here. He asked me to tell you he left.”
“He left?” I check my phone but there are no texts from him.
“Something’s happened, Jenny. I can’t say anything else. Grace and Bert will ensure you’re all right until the family gets back.” She steps out of the doorway again.
“It was nice meeting you,” I offer but she’s gone and I’m alone holding my phone in my underwear.
It’s not the way I thought I would meet Lori’s family.
I get dressed and hurry downstairs.
My mind is whirling with possibilities as to what’s happened.
Is it my fault for coming?
Did they fight about the baby?
Is this one of those crazy rich-people things where just to have a conversation about a new heir there has to be a lawyer present?
But aren’t they also rich enough that the lawyer visits them?
In the kitchen, the chef I met earlier, Grace, is still there. She’s dishing up meals and putting them into containers, like she’s meal prepping for someone who counts gourmet macros.
Being here without Lori, unsure what to say or do, I want to hide in his room, but I’ll never get answers that way. So I force myself to sit at the bar stool and watch her until she acknowledges my existence. I’ve definitely been around women such as her before and know the routine. This is her domain and I’m a guest. An unwanted guest.
“How was your nap?” She’s curt, as if she’s asking because she feels obligated but doesn’t care.
“Good, thanks.” I smile, trying hard to be cool under the circumstances. She needs buttering with friendly banter and self-deprecating humor. “It was one of those ones that is so deep you wake up and don’t know where you are or how old you are.” My words soften at the end and the humor isn’t as thick as it needs to be, but this is what I’ve got.
“I’ll be frank with you.” This is the moment where she warns me about Lori’s shenanigans to protect me, but in actuality his mom just wants me—the older woman stealing her baby and grasping at the family fortune—gone. “You should go home to New York, Miss Snowdon,” Grace says, not lifting her gaze to meet mine as she lids the food and stacks the containers. Her act is impeccable. She genuinely sounds worried about me. “It’s not my place to say this, but Lori shouldn’t have brought you here. Not as you are. And particularly not now.”
“As I am?” My body tingles with nerves but my mind whispers that this is textbook. And it’s also not the meeting where she warms up to me. According to the Hallmark movies, in six months we’ll get snowed in and I’ll save her. As she’s recovering, she puts her hand on my belly and feels the baby and somehow that tells her I’m a decent and worthy person.
“Pregnant. Under normal conditions his parents would not take this news easily nor would they be kind to you.” She pauses, sighing heavily as if the words are a struggle to say and not because of her thick accent. Finally, she lifts her eyes to meet mine. “But to make matters worse, Sean, Lori’s brother, has been found. He’s in an ICU in a Seattle hospital. The doctors called and told the family to come. I don’t know if he’s going to make it. But Lori and his parents have gone to Seattle and I don’t know when he will be back. Sean’s condition is quite serious.”
Her words land with a hard thud in my chest.
This is more like a Lifetime movie and I’m not emotionally prepared for it. In fact, I have no idea what this means. But there’s one course of action. Remove myself and the baby from the equation so his family can cope in private.
“Of course.” I stand, aware that I must stay calm. “I won’t add this burden to them. Thank you for being honest with me.” I hate calling my
baby a burden and deep down hope it can’t hear that.
“Do you have somewhere you can go?”
“Yes, my brother keeps a place here. It’s not far at all, just over on Pender.” I walk from the counter, fighting the dizzy spell that’s come out of nowhere.
“Bert will get a driver to take you.”
“Oh, I can get a cab or the bus.”
“I insist.” She’s firm.
“Okay, I’ll get my stuff.” I turn, swaying slightly but forcing myself from the kitchen. My heart aches for poor Lori and a thousand thoughts fly through my mind, the strongest being a need to wrap myself around him and tell him everything will be okay. I wish I hadn’t had the nap so I could be there now.
But he’s gone and if I text him, I’ll betray Grace’s trust and that’s not something I want to do. If I ever do have to come back here, I’ll need allies.
It takes no time to get my things and meet Bert in the foyer where he scrambles to take the bag from me.
“Miss Snowdon, John will take you wherever you need to go. I’m sorry you’re leaving us so soon.” The older man has kind eyes.
“Me too.” I nod. “Please tell Lori not to worry about me, just focus on Sean.”
“Of course, I will.” He carries my bags to the driver who puts them in the back of the limo as I get in. Bert waves me off and as I get comfortable, I dial my brother.
“Hey!” Josh shouts into the phone over loud music in the background.
“Hey. I’m in Van, can I crash at your place?” I sound like I’m eighteen years old and completely irresponsible. And the truth is, I’m here with almost no money and no job and relying entirely on a guy who is in the middle of a crisis and likely hasn’t realized how dependent I am on him. It’s a bad feeling. Particularly since I’m pregnant.
“Oh shit, yeah! I’m here too. I’m at a pub down the road. I’ll meet you there. How long?”
“Fifteen. I’m just over by Spanish Banks.”
“Sweet. Is Lori with you?”
“No.” I try not to sound disappointed. “Just me.”
“Okay, see ya there.”
I end the call and stare out the window as we move past the fancy houses and gated estates. My head is a jumbled mess of worries, but when we get to my brother’s building, I relax a bit. Being left at Lori’s parents’ mansion with a houseful of staff and a strange cameo by his sister, who came and left like a ghost, was too much. Adding his brother’s imminent death makes me grateful to be asked to leave.
“Here we are,” John says as he hands me my bags. “Need a hand in?”
“No, thanks though. There’s an elevator. Thank you for the ride.”
“Of course. Shall I wait for him to arrive?”
“No, that’s okay. He’ll be here any minute.” At least I hope he will be.
“All right then, have a nice night, miss.”
“You too. Thanks.” I walk to the front doors of the building as he drives away. It’s not a huge building but it has ocean view, which is the reason Josh bought it. He managed to get the penthouse, which is the whole top floor. I used to think it was massive but now realize it’s not even half the size of Versailles.
Putting my bags down and leaning against the building foyer to wait for my brother, a bunch of reality hits all at once. And it’s not gentle.
Amid that hard truth reminding me I’m essentially at the mercy of others and bringing a baby into this disorder, my eyes lower and my hand lifts, resting on my still flat stomach. “I’ll sort this out before you come. I promise. I’ll have my shit together.”
“Jenny!” Josh comes jogging over, the loose form suggests a lot of beers were had. “This is some kismet shit, Sis. Me and you in Van at the same time? What are the odds?”
“Astronomical,” I admit with a bitter chuckle and walk to him, letting him wrap himself around me. The smell of him is weed and beer and home. I sigh into his shoulder. “Thanks for coming.”
“You kidding? I’m pumped you’re here. Where’s Lori?” He glances at my bags as he swings his arm around my shoulders and walks us to the doors.
“It’s a long story. Do you have food?” I ask as we both grab a bag and walk inside.
“Yeah, I had a bunch of stuff delivered yesterday before I arrived. Should be stocked.” He winks. “You’re not exactly the kind of female company I was planning on, but I’m sure there’s something for my future niece to eat.”
“Niece?” The word is foreign.
“Yeah, didn’t I tell you I had a dream. I was at the bottom of the stairs at Dad’s house, looking up as this tiny brown-haired kid walked over to the top of the stairs. She smiled at me and called me uncle. And I called her Mena and then I woke up.” He scans his card for the elevator and grins at me. “It was foreshadowing for sure.”
“How high were you?” I laugh.
“Not high at all. I’d fallen asleep on a plane on the way to a gig in Vegas.” He nudges me. “It’s gonna be a girl. And you have to call her Mena.”
“I’m not calling her Mena. How high are you now?”
“It’s wearing off,” he says as the doors open on his living room. The front of the apartment has glass walls and a sizeable deck overlooking the ocean. “Now, let’s make you something to eat while you tell me this story.”
“Okay. Let me. I don’t want some munchies because you’re high. I need sustenance.” I put down the bag and walk to the fridge and begin speaking as I rifle through, “So Lori got it in his head—” I pause and glance back at my brother who is now sitting at the large marble counter. “Actually there’s a backstory. His older brother, Sean, is a drug addict. Homeless and missing for years.”
“Oh shit.”
“Right. Anyway, no one knew where he was. Lori has always had an ongoing search with private investigators. But they never found anything. Anyway, back to the original part. I let it slip that we’re having a baby in front of some people at Nat and Brady’s wedding who are friends of Lori’s parents. He decided we should come here before we go to Nova Scotia for Dad’s birthday, meet the family, and spill the beans.”
“No.” Josh shakes his head. “That’s a terrible idea. Aren’t his parents complete assholes? Why would he want to do that?”
“He has a love-hate with everyone in his family, so who knows?” I pull roasted turkey breast, two kinds of cheese, pickles, mayo, mustard, and lettuce from the fridge and put them on the counter next to the lush brioche buns he has.
“But why not meet them first, then tell them about the baby? This just seems like a bad idea. How does the brother fit into this?” He’s following along well for being stoned.
“When we arrived today, I was sick,” I stop and wince, realizing I haven’t processed the humiliation of the plane vomit yet. “I puked in front of him on his plane. I had some kind of motion sickness. He managed to get the garbage pail to me as I got sick. It was awful.”
“Jesus.” Josh wrinkles his nose.
“Right.” I wash my hands and make us both an enormous sandwich as he gets up and grabs the chips from the pantry and puts a handful on each of our plates.
We don’t move, we eat at the counter like we did when we were kids as I finish the story.
“So let me get this straight. You wake up from the nap and the brother is dying in the hospital, Lori’s gone, his sister sees you in your skivvies Googling the grandpa, and the cook tells you to leave on the DL, pretending to care about you but likely just to get rid of you?” Josh surmises as he eats the last chip.
“Yup. And now I’m here, not sure where to go or what to do. I feel like an idiot because my stupid being homeless, jobless, and poor is nothing compared to his brother dying and his parents sucking. But I’m completely reliant on him and I hate it. I just want to be able to take care of me and the baby and not have him worry. But I also don’t want to move away from him.” I wipe my mouth and take a drink of the lime and watermelon sparkling water I found in the fridge. “I seriously like this guy.”
“Okay, so real talk,” Josh says as he sits back in the chair. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you need to take this job with Stan, but not the apartment.”
“I was thinking that too. I can’t do the free apartment. I’ll go from feeling like I owe Lori to owing Stan.”
“I’m buying a place in New York that you will take care of as a favor for me. Because you’re right, you have to get some independence so you can feel safe and secure and sort this Lori thing out slowly.” He’s completely sober and rational and being my older brother. “He can’t worry about you and the kid and his job and brother and all the crap going on. The New York Rangers are counting on him.”
I want so badly to tell him not to buy an apartment, but I nod because this is my best option. “I will pay you rent.”
“Fine. And word to the wise, don’t make you moving into your own place a thing. He doesn’t need to be stressed about the fact you’re changing things while he’s in the middle of something insane. Just say you’re giving him the space he needs to deal with the situation and that you’ll be waiting for him whenever he’s ready.”
“Okay.” He’s smarter than he looks or sounds.
My eyes glance at my phone again but there are no texts.
“And I’m flying to Halifax Thursday, so you can come with me then, eh?” he takes my drink and finishes it. “If Lori can make it, awesome, if not, no biggie.”
“Sounds good.” I practically choke on the next sentence but I manage to get it out, “Thanks for being here for me. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
“I’m not gonna lie, this reversal of fortunes where I’m suddenly the responsible adult in our lives is feeling amazing. I might soak it up a little more.” He winks and we both laugh.
“You suck.” I take his plate and mine and put them in the dishwasher.
“Truthfully, being your brother has never been easy.”
“Wow.” I fold my arms over my chest and lean against the counter.
“All joking aside, feeling needed for the first time in my life as far as you’re concerned is nice. And this is nothing but a hiccup. You’ll land on your feet in no time, and I’ll be back to being second best.” He laughs it off but the words sting.