by Megan Linski
“Not me.” Sophia shuddered. “I always thought he looked like a dad. He’s not hot at all.”
“He’s got a dad bod. Trust me, it’s nothing to behold,” I told them. “Those girls are nuts.”
“My ancestors, Liam, you ruin everything,” Imogen said.
“Yeah, you’re such a sour grape,” Jonah added. “Lighten up.”
“I’m not a lamp,” I grumbled. Of course, the entire conversation the way back to school was about if Baine was or was not hot. Sophia and I were on one side, while Imogen argued that she could see why some people would want to go out with him.
“I’d probably give it a chance, if I had the opportunity,” Jonah said. “I’m not into old guys, but I’ll try anything once, and I bet he has experience.”
“Jonah, you’ll fuck anything that walks,” I told him. “Can we seriously stop talking about this? He’s our tournament mentor. It’s creeping me out.”
Jonah went to argue back, but we were stopped by someone in the hallway. It was Professor Perot, and his peacock Familiar, Baxtor.
Perot had been really nice to me in class ever since I’d helped saved him. I skipped a few times and he still gave me credit, not to mention I know the last few tests I’d failed miserably and I’d still gotten top marks. He’d been acting weird, though, not talking to me much, just smiling a lot.
“Oh, Professor,” I said. He stood in front of us awkwardly, wringing his hands. “You need something?”
Perot seemed to swallow, then gave a nervous smile. “I just wanted to thank the four of you again for saving my life. Baxtor and I are very grateful.”
“It was really no problem.” Except I threw out my back dragging you out.
“Well, yes.” He flushed. “The thing is, I have been thinking on how to repay all of you for your bravery. And while I can’t think of what I could do for you three”— he eyed Sophia, Jonah, and Imogen—, “I think there is something I can do for you, Liam.”
“Oh,” I started. “Okay.”
There was an awkward moment of silence, and Perot gestured to us. “Follow me.”
We hurried after him. He led us to his classroom, and then to his desk, where I noticed an assortment of papers and vials were scattered. Squeaks knocked over a couple of glasses on our way in, but Perot paid her no mind.
He sat down at his desk and said, “I’ve been looking into your case, Liam. I’ve heard about your illness, and think that with enough research and time, I’ll be able to discover what ails you… maybe even cure it.”
“You’re serious?” My mouth dropped open. I felt like I was suffocating. My heart was practically beating out of my chest. This was too good to be true. Just a name would be a miracle, but a cure… that was unthinkable.
Then came the doubt. I shook my head. “No. No, I’ve been to the best medicine women and men in the tribe. Nobody knows what’s wrong with me, or how to help me.”
“I can’t promise anything,” Perot started, and Baxtor bobbed his head. “But I am a researcher, not a doctor, so I can look at your case from a different perspective. I think that a life for a life is the best way to repay my debt.”
“Did you hear that, Liam?” Sophia said excitedly. “There might be a cure!”
Her expression was hopeful, but at the same time, I didn’t want to believe it. I’d been through so much in the past few months. Hoping for anything, even just a diagnosis, seemed like a setup. It was easier to go on being miserable than to be let down again. That would really suck.
“Hold on,” Jonah said. “I thought Liam was sick because Nashoma died.”
I wanted to punch Jonah. He needed to mind his own business.
“It might be,” Perot said. “But I have reason to believe that maybe Liam’s condition isn’t linked to Nashoma’s death at all, but perhaps something that was dormant until that point. Grief can be a powerful trigger for chronic illnesses. We won’t know for sure unless we do some testing.”
“You are the only person who’s ever survived the death of their Familiar, Liam,” Imogen added. “Maybe this would be how to find out why.”
“Some of the processes for investigating your illness would be… invasive,” Perot said slowly. “It wouldn’t be a quick or easy process. But it’ll be worth it in the end if we can determine exactly what’s going on with you. Of course, it’s your choice, Liam.”
Everyone in the room looked at me, perched on my answer. I wasn’t sure. I really didn’t want to be put through anything else, being poked, prodded and questioned about something that was already deeply personal, not to mention a really sensitive subject. Half of me didn’t care if I was suffering from something that was worsening, or even terminal. I just wanted to be left alone and enjoy the time that I had left, however much that was.
But then I saw the look on Sophia’s face, and I knew what she wanted me to do. She didn’t want me to give up. She wanted me to keep fighting.
Fine. If I had to be a guinea pig to get some answers, I’d be a guinea pig. “I guess I’m for it,” I said. “What do you want me to do?”
“First, I’ll need a sample of your blood, among other things,” Perot said. He took out a few syringes with needles, and I swallowed. “I wouldn’t need you back in until I’m done analyzing the results.”
“I’m ready,” I said. I wanted to get this over with. Hurry up and stick me like a pincushion.
I thought Perot would take me to a back room or something, you know, somewhere with a bit of seclusion, but he began sanitizing my arm and sticking me right in front of everybody. I didn’t like needles, but I wasn’t about to look like a wimp in front of my team. I expected the gang to turn their backs or something, but instead they kept on talking while Perot took his samples and set several vials of my blood aside. Imogen was blabbering about burlangers, while Jonah and Sophia happily subbed in.
Everyone was acting really natural, while here I was, looking like I belonged in a hospital. “Um,” I started as they all kept gabbing on. This was awkward. A little privacy, please?
But then I realized something. They weren’t staring at me like I was in a zoo. They kept carrying on like it was okay I was getting treated and experimented on. They were acting like me being sick was okay.
Yet they weren’t acting at all. It was genuine. I didn’t feel different.
I just… felt like everyone else.
“Oh, sorry.” Sophia straightened up and looked down at the tons of needles shoved into my arms, as if she suddenly just realized they were there. “We can go.”
I had to laugh. Sophia was totally clueless, and I loved it. “You’re here now. Just stay.”
A few minutes later, I was a little lightheaded. Perot had made it sound like he only needed a tiny bit of blood, but it’d felt like he took a gallon. Looking at all the vials on his desk made me want to throw up.
“You’ll want to watch him,” Perot said as he eyed me getting up from the chair woozily. “He’s a little pale. He should be better by tomorrow.”
“Lean on me, bro,” Jonah said, and he flung an arm around my shoulders. “I got you.”
Jonah was practically carrying me out the door. Sophia thanked Professor Perot and waved goodbye as she and Imogen followed us.
“Where to?” Imogen asked cheerfully. Squeaks snuck her head under my other arm and lifted me up so my toes were dragging on the ground, but I pushed her away. I didn’t need to be carried like some wounded war hero, for ancestors’ sake.
Sophia said nothing. She was watching me carefully out of the corner of her eye.
“The Commons sounds pretty good right now,” I said. My voice was kind of slurred. “Those couches are like… so plushy.”
Plushy? I was really out of it.
“Cookies, man,” Jonah said wisely. “Just a shitload of cookies.”
Jonah threw me on the couch when we got there. We got the good seats, the ones by the fireplace with the big TV. Imogen sat on the rug against Squeaks with Sassy in her arms, while Jon
ah took the big armchair. Sophia sat on the other side of the couch and flung her legs over mine. Jonah left for awhile and came back with literally three bags of cookies, which we all polished off while watching a movie. I’m pretty sure I slipped off one or two times, but I can’t remember. Sophia kept looking at me, and when she wasn’t, Esis was, his eyes wide and unsure as he curled up on Sophia’s lap.
He seemed… guilty. Though I’m not sure why.
That afternoon was pretty perfect. To people passing by, I’m sure we looked like a bunch of friends just hanging out.
But we were so much more than that. For the first time since Nashoma died, I felt like I wasn’t a freak, and it was nice.
Maybe I could get used to these people.
“What’s the deal with you and Liam?” Imogen asked.
We sat on the beach, staring out at the ocean. The November air was chilly, and the sky overcast. In the distance, snow was falling, covering the peaks of the mountains around us. I pulled the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands and wrapped my arms around me. I’d become used to the colder weather of Northern California these past few months, but I was starting to regret not packing a heavier coat. I called upon my Fire, raising it just to the surface of my skin to ward off the chill.
I shrugged, keeping my eyes on Esis. He was digging in the rocks and placing the shiniest ones into a pile at my feet. “Do we have to have this conversation again?”
It’d been a week since Liam took me to see the waterfall, and I still didn’t know how to answer the question.
“Again?” Imogen repeated. She petted Sassy in her lap, who was batting at the lime green bows at the ends of Imogen’s braids. “Sophia, you blow me off every time I ask about it. I think I deserve to know what’s going on between my teammates. The tournament is only a few weeks away. Should I be concerned?”
“About me and Liam?” I laughed. “No. I’d be more concerned about Jonah’s raging hormones.”
Imogen covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her giggles. Our second training session went better than the first, but the moment Jonah spotted Renar passing by our obstacle course with a couple of friends, he lost all focus. He stumbled off the root bridge Imogen had built to get us over a pit of quicksand. Squeaks nearly got stuck trying to rescue him. All Jonah could talk about afterward was how appalled he was that Renar didn’t even notice and try to help. Liam was furious with Jonah and totally erupted on him, though I thought he overreacted.
Imogen rolled her eyes. “Men. But that still doesn’t answer my question. You and Liam? What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.” I absentmindedly rolled one of Esis’ rocks around in my hand while I contemplated the question. What was going on between us? I liked Liam a lot— I knew that much for certain. After he told me the story about Mia, the girl who broke his heart, all I wanted to do was show him how much I cared about him. I sensed that after Mia, he didn’t feel like he deserved to be loved.
And he was so, so wrong. I just wished my heart was enough to heal him. But I knew Liam would never accept it… though I hoped he would, one day.
“I told you about that magical night we had together,” I said. “But we haven’t really talked about what’s happening between us.”
“Oh, I see the problem,” Imogen said. “You need to define your relationship.”
I frowned at her. “Like you and Cade have?”
“This isn’t about me and Cade. Besides, we’re just friends.”
I nodded slowly. “Sure you are.”
“Why don’t you just tell Liam how you feel?” she asked.
Nerves ignited in my chest just thinking about it. “I can’t. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Things would be weird between us, and we can’t have that before the tournament.”
“So you’ll tell him after the tournament?”
I dropped my gaze. “I don’t know. I can’t just come out and tell Liam that I’m falling head over heels for him.”
“Why not?” Imogen asked. “I mean, if he feels the same way, what’s the harm?”
I resisted the urge to bust out laughing. “We’re just friends, Imogen. Like you and Cade. Liam doesn’t feel that way about me.”
It broke my heart and made it feel as if rocks had settled in my stomach. I wanted Liam to like me back. I’d run the scenario so many times through my head, what it would be like to tell him I liked him, for him to say it back. He’d reach down and brush the hair out of my eyes while I ran my fingers across his chest. I’d go breathless just being in his presence. Then he’d kiss me—a mind-blowing, passionate kiss I’d only ever dreamed about. He’d sweep me into his arms and carry me into the sunset, and we’d live happily ever after.
And then he opened his mouth in real life, shattering any hope of that fairytale coming true. I lived for the moments his fingers accidentally grazed across mine when we walked beside each other in the hall, the way his eyes lit up when we were together, and the smile the crept across his face every so often when I saw him staring out toward the ocean.
But that’s all they would ever be. Moments. I couldn’t have forever with Liam, even if I wanted to.
“Girl, you’re blind,” Imogen said, pulling me from my thoughts. “There’s some serious sexual tension going on between you two. Can’t you feel it?”
My eyebrows shot up. “Sexual tension? Oh, my God, Imogen. I must’ve missed the romance section in your library. You’ve been reading too much. I highly doubt Liam feels anything sexual toward me. I’m always in this baggy hoodie and jeans, with my hair tied into a ponytail and almost no makeup on. No way he finds that attractive. That one day I wore my hair down and that low-cut shirt like you told me to, he barely stole a glance at me.”
Imogen rolled her eyes. “That’s because he was trying to be subtle about it. Trust me, from my perspective, he was drooling.”
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the possibility.
“Next time, wear a push-up bra,” Imogen advised. “He’ll have his face down your shirt in one-point-five seconds.”
It sounded gross, but I couldn’t say I wouldn’t mind it. Liam could do whatever he wanted to my cleavage and more.
“Ugh, Imogen, can we—?”
“Oh, my ancestors!” Imogen hopped up to her knees and flapped her hands excitedly. Sassy rolled onto the ground, looking shocked. Esis paused with a rock in his hand and alarm in his eyes. “I know what you need!”
I leaned away a few inches as her hands nearly assaulted my face. “Um… what do I need?”
“You need a dress,” she stated, like it was obvious.
“I don’t wear dresses.”
“For the ball,” she emphasized. “You need to buy a smoking hot dress so Liam can’t keep his eyes off you.”
I bit my lower lip, considering her idea. At least it would be after the tournament. And it was a good excuse to dress up for him.
I sighed. “Okay. I might even wear a push-up bra.”
Imogen jumped to her feet and bounced on her toes. “Yay! We can do your makeup and your hair and everything. You’re going to look so hot he’ll want to get nasty with you on the dance floor.”
“Oh, my ancestors, Imogen.” I turned beet-red as I stood. “Don’t say stuff like that.”
“What?” she asked innocently. “Nasty?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. That.”
“Nasty, nasty, nasty,” she teased. “It’s not a bad word.”
If possible, I flushed even redder. “No, but you’re talking about me and Liam. If we… did it, it wouldn’t be nasty.”
Imogen wiggled her eyebrows. “What would it be like?”
“Imogen!” I shoved at her playfully while Esis scurried up my pant leg to crawl onto my shoulder.
Imogen only laughed. “Okay, fine. I’ll stop. Let’s go get you a dress that’ll make Liam crazy.”
“No. Absolutely not.” Imogen sat in a plush chair outside the dressing room of a little boutique shop in Kinpago called Delilah’s
, giving feedback on each dress I tried on.
I spun around to admire the dress in the mirror beside the dressing rooms. It was black, with a silk skirt that fell to the floor and a lacy top with three-quarter-length sleeves. “Why not? I think it’s beautiful.”
Esis clapped from the armrest of Imogen’s chair.
“See?” I said. “Even Esis likes it.”
Imogen frowned. “We’re going for kiss me now, not kiss me when I’m fifty.”
She’d had a similar response to the last three dresses I’d tried on.
“If you’re such a fashion expert, what do you suggest?” I challenged.
“I’ll be right back.” Imogen smirked and rose from her chair. Sassy followed behind her.
I sighed and glanced around, my hands on my hips. The shop was packed with row upon row of colorful dresses, each one unique. A big window at the front gave a wide view of the street beyond, where people and their Familiars passed by. My eyes caught a creature that looked like a skunk, but had long tail feathers instead of fur.
I turned back to Esis. “She’s going to come back with lingerie, isn’t she?”
Esis just looked at me with his big eyes and shrugged.
“Here we go,” Imogen said as she returned. She held up a long red dress with skinny straps and a neckline I already knew I was going to hate. She didn’t miss the frown on my face. “It’s for Liam, remember?”
I sighed and took the dress from her hands. “I’ll try it on.”
Imogen smiled. “Good. I’ll go grab a few more for backup.”
I returned to the dressing room, holding the door open a moment to let Esis jump inside behind me. Inside, I slipped off the black dress. My heart sank as I placed it back on its hanger. I loved it, but Imogen was right. It wasn’t the type of dress that would stop Liam in his tracks. I stared at the red dress in uncertainty. It might do the trick, but it also might give him the wrong idea. Then again, Liam wasn’t the wham bam thank you ma’am type of guy, was he?
“This dressing room is open,” a woman said outside, making me jump. I’d been staring at the dress for far too long. “You let me know if you need anything.” I heard the dressing room door beside mine close.