by Megan Linski
I hoped that during the tournament I would get taken out quickly by one of the tasks, but my luck wasn’t that good. I was dying, but it was slowly. This could take hours.
I didn’t know how I was going to say goodbye to this world. I wouldn’t get a goodbye with my family. Sophia had been all I had, and fuck, that nearly did me in. I didn’t want her to leave me. More than anything, I wanted her to stay by my side so I wouldn’t have to be alone.
But at the same time, I didn’t want her to see me die, and I knew Jonah and Imogen needed her more. So I let her go.
But that’s what you did for people you loved. You sacrificed your life so they could go on. That’s what love was. Anyone who didn’t agree, who said that love was just chemicals in your brain or selfish fulfillment or whatever, was just fucking stupid.
And ancestors, I loved her. My heart was so full for her it was about ready to break.
Being on my back was putting a lot of pressure on my lungs, so I forced myself to roll over onto my stomach. I didn’t know where I harnessed the energy, but I somehow managed to force my weak limbs into doing what I asked. I ended up flat on my face in the mud. The dirt actually felt like a pillow against my head. I wanted to close my eyes, but I knew the minute I did, that would be it, so I forced them to stay open.
I had wished to die for months, but now that the time was here, I wanted to stay. I had been so foolish. I’d wasted so much time longing for the end I didn’t realize what a gift I had when I had it. I wished I could go back and see Sophia smile one last time, or make Jonah laugh again, or just hang out with my brother. Instead, I’d squandered away my time hiding away in my room and being too scared to face the world.
I let out another breath. They were getting really shallow now. Maybe it wouldn’t be as long as I thought. It sucked it had to be on TV.
A pair of black paws appeared in front of me. Yep, definitely not as long as I thought, if Nashoma was already here.
“Hey, buddy,” I rasped. “You here to take me home?”
I couldn’t see anything but his paws and the end of his tail. I was too weak to lift my head up. Nashoma didn’t bend his head down to lick me or anything, just stood there. Get up.
I would’ve died of shock if I wasn’t already there. “What?”
Get up.
“Are you fucking serious?” I had to struggle to get the words out. “Nashoma, it’s over. It’s time to go home.”
Get up. He was stubborn. His paws didn’t move.
“Didn’t you hear me?” My mouth twisted in a snarl that was half-agony, half-rage. “I’m ready to die!”
GET UP.
Apparently, he didn’t think I was. “This is crap,” I muttered, but it was more of a wheezing gasp. I tried to push myself upwards, but my arms shook, and I failed. I only ended up face-planting in the mud again.
Get up, Liam. Get up! His paws started to dance in front of my face. At his insistence, I reached out with both hands and pulled myself through the mud. He moved out of the way, walking beside me and shouting, Get up, get up!
Other people’s Familiars probably greeted them with hugs and kisses on the other side. My jackass Familiar had to make me prove I was worthy. Crawling on my hands and knees would’ve been faster, but I couldn’t manage that, so I more or less slid my body along the mud. Nashoma started to bark, and I managed to move a little faster. My hand that was burnt all to hell was throbbing, but I ignored the sharp pain jolting through it and continued on to ancestors knew what.
A cave came into view, only about ten or so steps away. I realized Nashoma’s plan. In the cave, the cameras wouldn’t be able to see me and I could die in peace. It wouldn’t be televised for the entire tribe to see.
I wanted to die with whatever dignity I had left. So I forced myself to crawl on my stomach toward the cave. I could hear Nashoma’s steps beside me as the mud turned to solid rock.
I reached the cave wall. Somehow, I forced myself upright and into a sitting position. It was easier to breathe that way. I lay back against the rock and heaved for air. At least I was out of the rain.
“Out of the sight of the cameras,” I breathed, and I reached out a hand to graze Nashoma’s fur. “Good idea, buddy.”
My hand brushed nothing but air. He was already gone.
I tried to roll my eyes. Even that was too much effort. Whatever. I’d see him again in a minute, anyway.
Colors were starting to muddle together and become fuzzy shapes. I think I saw a group of people gathering around me, though honestly, I was so delirious I couldn’t be sure. In a tree outside the cave an eagle looked down and cocked his head, giving a sharp cry.
“Grandpa?” I gasped. It was the last thing I had the strength to say. My head lolled to the side. I saw someone running toward me, a fuzzy white shape at their feet, before I slipped away.
I came to slowly. I wondered if I had melded with Nashoma yet and what that would feel like, but then I realized that I was very much still in my own body and still hurting, though not as bad as before.
And I was still in this fucking cave.
But it was all right, because Sophia was there. She kneeled next to me on her knees, her beautiful face studying me carefully. Her thin eyebrows were scrunched together as if she was watching something take place.
“Sophia?” I whispered. I pushed myself upward off the wall, before I realized I shouldn’t have the energy to do that. I started, and Esis gurgled unpleasantly. He was on my lap and looking pleased with himself.
“Liam!” Sophia flung her arms around me and squeezed me tight. I hugged her back, but I was still kind of in shock. What was going on here?
“Sophia, let go. I can’t breathe,” I gasped. She was crushing me. Poor Esis was getting squished between our chests.
“Oh, sorry.” She backed away nervously, and Esis plopped out between us. Esis massaged his head and grumbled at her.
“You always give the tightest hugs,” I said, and I rubbed my ribs. “Not a bad thing,” I added when she opened her mouth.
“Liam,” Sophia said, and she pointed. “Look.”
I did. My hand… it was okay. The blisters and burn wounds were gone. It was like the skin was brand-new. I brought it in front of my face and turned it around. Not a mark on it. In fact, all the scratches and bruises I’d sustained from the tournament were also gone. I was no longer sore, and my lungs felt clear instead of full of blood. The only thing that still remained was the constant inflammation pulsating through my muscles that I usually felt on a daily basis. I hardly even registered it. I even felt hungry… starving, in fact. That was a miracle in itself.
“I’m… I’m not fucking dead,” I said, stunned.
“No, you’re not,” Sophia said. She looked even more relieved than I felt.
“What the hell happened to me?” I asked. “I was pretty much dead, and now I feel fine. Well, not fine.” I shifted uncomfortably. “I still hurt. But it’s like I was at the start of the tournament. I can breathe fine and everything now.”
Sophia hesitated. “I… I don’t know what happened,” Sophia stuttered. “I just came back to find you, and when you weren’t where I left you… oh, God, Liam.”
She put a hand over her mouth and tried not to cry. “I thought you were already dead and that the officials had come and got you, but Esis made me follow him, and I found you here. You were all healed up when I arrived.”
“This cave must be super magical,” I said, looking around. “It’s the only way to explain why I healed so fast. Maybe it’s one of the original sites of the tribe, or a place where the ancestors commune.”
Sophia made an em-hm noise and said, “Yeah, that must be it.”
Esis let out a trilling noise. Inside, I was hollow. Nashoma hadn’t come to take me to the ancestors. His only job had been to get me to the cave, to heal me.
I felt tremendously grateful and horribly bereaved all at once.
“Liam, I was wondering. How… how do you feel?” she asked caut
iously.
I rolled my shoulders back. “I don’t know. Not one-hundred percent, but I can walk and stuff.”
“Oh.” She seemed disappointed.
“Yeah, I guess it would be too much to hope that the cave would cure me completely, right?” I asked cheerfully. But I sure as hell wasn’t complaining. Being disabled was a big step up from being dead, so I was going to take it and be grateful. “Did you find Imogen and Jonah?”
She shook her head. “I just found Esis. He pretty much convinced me I had to come back for you.”
“Did he really?” I scratched Esis between the ears. “You miss me, little guy?”
Esis gave me a sneaky grin and wagged his tail.
I looked at his Elementai. “Sophia, why did you come back?” I asked lowly. “I didn’t want you to stay. I wanted you to be safe.”
Her brown eyes were heavy with all sorts of unsaid things. “Liam, I think you know why,” she whispered back quietly.
She leaned forward. I didn’t realize it was to kiss me until she had done it.
You ever just stand in the ocean and let a wave crash over you, but it’s a lot more powerful than you thought and it ends up knocking you off your feet? That’s what it felt like when Sophia kissed me, except ten times stronger. If her existing was the wave, kissing her was like the whole damn ocean. Her lips were warm against my cold ones and felt really soft. She smelled like crushed autumn leaves, and smoke, and even like the ocean at midnight. She put so much emotion into the kiss I could feel it, and I allowed the strength of her feelings to wash over me as she brushed my face.
Without thinking, I reached upward and caressed her hair back, running my fingers through her hair until my fingers were entwined in her locks and holding the back of her neck. Sophia moved forward. Her lips didn’t part from mine as she sat on my lap and hooked her legs around my hips. I wrapped my free arm around her waist and held her tightly to me as she deepened the kiss even more, drinking from me as if I was her life.
She parted her mouth a little, and I let my tongue slip in. Sophia moaned and moved against me, biting sharply on my bottom lip before pushing her tongue into my mouth in response. Ancestors, this was fucking amazing. Like, the best kiss of my life. I squeezed her even tighter and gave an involuntary thrust up. She responded by rolling against me and I. Nearly. Died.
“Liam,” she groaned.
I took her mouth against mine again before she could say more. I had to keep kissing her, because if she said my name like that again, I’d lose all self control.
It got to me how incredible we were together. Months of repressed emotion and want came boiling over as her hands ravaged my hair, her fingertips rippling down my chest. My eyes were closed, but the way she made me feel took away any need I had to see. It was almost too much to handle. My entire body felt like it was riding a huge wave that could see over the entire world, only to come spiraling back down before it rose to the top again.
I thought that she’d stop kissing me, that she’d get tired of it, but she didn’t. She kept loving me like she didn’t realize I was just broken parts. I always thought that when you kissed someone new, you had to get used to the way they did it, but not us— we kissed each other like we’d been doing it for ages.
We didn’t even have to think about it. We just let it be. It was like we were made to exist together.
I knew right then. She could kiss me forever and it wouldn’t be enough.
Why did Sophia come back for me? I knew why. It was because she loved me.
When she finally pulled back, I’m pretty sure it was only because both of us had to breathe. Esis gave a low whistle. Sophia blushed. I grinned and pushed him over. Ancestors, I was literally seeing stars. That had made me lightheaded. How long had we been making out? Was it just minutes? Because it felt like days.
That kiss had been everything I’d secretly dreamed of and hoped for since I walked into her living room back in Utah. I only wish I’d been the one to kiss her first.
Sophia stared back at me. She was slightly panting. “Liam… what are we?”
I didn’t know what to say. How could she ask me something like that when my hormones were raging and all I wanted to do was tackle her and make love to her on this cave floor, even with Esis watching?
But then something registered in my brain, and the question made me run cold. What were we? Obviously more than friends. Were we boyfriend and girlfriend? I hated the word lovers because it creeped me out and made it seem like what we were doing was dirty and wrong.
We were in love with each other. Obviously. Neither of us could deny it anymore. But what did that mean? There were still rules we had to follow. Toaquas and Koignis couldn't be together. Our world wouldn’t allow it.
I wanted to say, I love you and let's run away together, but what came out was, “We should probably talk about that when our lives aren't in danger and when we know our friends are okay.”
She nodded. “Right.” She clambered off my lap and nearly fell over. It made me laugh under my breath. I got up and reached out a hand to pull her to her feet. When her hand was in mine, I didn't want to let go. Sophia gave my fingers a reassuring squeeze before she finally pulled away. It was hard to look at each other, because we’d just acknowledged the elephant in the room that we’d been avoiding for months.
And damn, it was taking up the whole cave.
“Where should we go?” I asked, just to break the tension and move on from that bomb kiss that I desperately wanted to go back to.
Sophia put a hand to her chin and said, “I have a feeling we should see where this cave leads. Back there is just a bunch of smoke and fire. Maybe Imogen and Jonah are already ahead of us.”
“I’m following you.”
Esis led the way, his little nails clicking on the stone as Sophia moved forward. I stayed behind and tried (and kinda failed) to not watch her ass.
I was alive, dammit. I was making the most of it.
Unlike the cave we’d gotten stuck in the other day, this one was well-lit, with multiple holes in the top and walls that were made of black stone with small silver flecks. It was more like a cavern. It looked like the rain had cleared up and the sun was out again, from the sunlight that was bursting through the top of the cave. From what I could tell, it was around dusk, from the orange light gleaming in through the crevices in the ceiling.
My steps were really bouncy. I felt like I was on top of the world.
“You seem like you’re in a good mood,” Sophia said, and she smiled.
“Fucking giddy.” And I meant it. That’d been a close call back there. Not to mention my not-dying prize had been kissing Sophia Henley, because that had been pretty rad.
“I bet that kiss had something to do with it,” Sophia said coyly. “Something else is pretty happy, too.”
“You mind your business, pawee,” I told her. “There’s still some things I have to teach you, and believe me, I’m gonna have fun doing it.”
Sophia blushed. The pink in her cheeks got me excited. I couldn’t wait until I could put my lips all over those cheeks, and her hair, and about a million other things...
I needed to stop. We were still at risk out here. All that fun stuff would come later.
Sophia and I went quiet, both lost in our own heads. Eventually, we came to a place where the cave split. Esis went to the right side and started hopping up and down, pointing down the long pathway.
“I think he wants us to follow him,” Sophia said, turning to me.
“That little guy has good instincts, and so do you, Sophia,” I said, pointing at her. “I think if we had listened to you all along we wouldn’t have gotten so turned around in this tournament.”
Sophia had a determined look on her face. “I don’t know. But I am sure that I’m never going to make the mistake of second-guessing myself ever again.”
I was happy about that. Sophia had come to school so unconfident and unsure. She’d even been too scared to confront Haley. Now she
had faith in herself. It was enough to make me proud.
The tunnel ended and widened into a huge opening, where the cave opened up to the great sky. Here, I could see that the sun really was setting. It bathed the entire cavern in a blood-red glow. A tiny waterfall trickled down from an unknown source into a silver pool that was only about as deep as our ankles. But that wasn’t the strangest thing about the cave.
It was a totem— at least, that’s what I could describe it as. It looked as if it was carved from white bone, and had all five House symbols on it— Koigni, Toaqua, Nivita, Yapluma, and Anichi at the very top. It was only about as big as my palm, and could fit in my hand. It was floating— literally floating— over the middle of the silver pool, and was bathed in a soft ray of white light that seemed to emit from the totem itself.
A soft music hummed in the background. Chimes, drums, and the whispering of the wind. I’m certain I heard the ancestors’ voices in there somewhere.
My element wavered within me, signaling something was up. The closer I got to the totem, the more my Water wanted to freak out. Whatever that totem was, it was insanely magical.
Esis stood by the edge of the pool and looked intently at Sophia. It was like he was asking her to grab it.
Sophia was transfixed by the totem. Her face glowed, and she had a strange expression on her face, like all she could look at was the floating talisman. She started walking toward it slowly, her feet entering the pool as she approached.
“Sophia, don’t touch it,” I said, wary. “We don’t know what it is, or what it does.”
“It won’t hurt me, Liam,” she said. Her voice was far-away, enchanted… it was like she was under a spell. “I just… I know it’s meant for me.”
Like that made a whole lot of fucking sense. I opened my mouth to say something, but found myself absent of words as Sophia reached out and grasped the totem in her hands.