by Lane Hayes
“Start over,” he said in a low tone. He pointed meaningfully toward the sparkling city lights and continued. “You can do anything in LA. This city is so diverse. It’s a little phony sometimes, but the truth is there…if you’re brave enough to look for it. You won’t find it hanging out at the Grove or Universal Studios or hiking Runyon Canyon or—”
“Slow down. What’s wrong with Runyon Canyon?”
“Nothing. It just reminds me of my dad. When I was a kid, my dad went through a brief phase where he decided he wanted to get to know me. I was eight, so Rory would have been six. The timing was kind of brutal because Rory’s dad had just left…as in, we woke up one morning and his shit was gone. We never saw him again. Anyway, I rarely saw my bio dad. Even when he picked me up to hang out, he’d end up dropping me off at my grandmother’s house. Which I didn’t mind. She only spoke Spanish, and she was an amazing cook.”
I chuckled at his dreamy expression. “What does that have to do with Runyon Canyon?”
“Nothing. Or maybe everything. See, when he said he was taking me to Dairy Queen, I knew what to expect. Ice cream and then a day of speaking Spanish with my grandmother and eating tamales until my stomach hurt. But a real hiking trip with Dad? That was special.” Justin snorted derisively. “I should have known better. The entire trip was a disaster. No one spoke on the drive from Long Beach to LA. Mom had tears in her eyes and Rory looked upset, like he was afraid I was leaving for good too. By the time we got there, I wasn’t excited anymore. My mom must have noticed I was upset, ’cause she smiled and said, ‘Don’t worry. He’s trying to do the right thing.’ Except he wasn’t. He showed up late with his new girlfriend and her son.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” I repeated derisively. “I sat in the back seat of his crappy Chevy, staring out the dirty window and tried to believe in his alternate reality for a few minutes. I thought maybe I could pretend we were a regular family…a dad, a mom, and two boys who shared the same skin color and spoke two languages. It was a nice fantasy, but something wasn’t right. At eight, I couldn’t quite put my feelings into words. I just knew the whole thing was a setup. I was a prop. My dad was using me to piss off my mom and woo a pretty girl with a single-dad sob story. It made me miss my real brother, the blond kid with blue eyes back home in Long Beach.
“That was the first time I remember being aware of the lies so-called grownups tell each other. The fake smiles, pretty words, empty promises. As a species, humans are hypocritical assholes. We give away pieces of ourselves every day…for recognition, for money, for affection.” Justin turned to me with a fiery expression and gestured toward the glittering lights below. “Everyone here wants more than what they have. And I guess I’m the same. I don’t need recognition and I sure as fuck don’t want love, but I wouldn’t say no to a few bucks,” he commented with a laugh. “What about you?”
I did a double take. I was two steps behind, struggling to keep up and if possible, memorize every word he’d said. I hadn’t been around anyone so raw or so honest in a long time. Justin made rules and broke them at whim, letting me in and then shutting me out. He had a way of revealing himself that made me feel as though he was holding a mirror to me, daring me to acknowledge my broken pieces too. He was either slightly insane or incredibly gifted. I suspected it was the latter. The cadence of his speech lured me in…and made me want more. I’d tell him anything he wanted to know, just to be near him and this intense spark of…newness, creativity, and wonder.
“What about me?” I asked in a low, raspy voice.
“What do you want?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar,” he said without heat. “Try again.”
“Okay. I want everything that you just said was bullshit. Romance, love, a little recognition and…I want to write the perfect song,” I replied.
“There’s no such thing.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But it would be nice to leave something that felt special.”
Justin held my gaze, then inclined his head in agreement. “Yeah. I want that too.”
We stared at each other as whispers of conversation floated from the far corners of the rooftop deck. We weren’t alone, but we might as well be. I couldn’t remember ever feeling intimately connected to someone I’d never really touched. It was puzzling and enchanting at the same time.
He shivered when the breeze kicked up. I took it as a sign from above and pulled him against me. I had to touch him. I studied the sexy indentation in his bottom lip before giving in to impulse and resting my hands on his hips. He gave me a funny look but didn’t push me away.
“You shouldn’t be anonymous. You have too much to share. Too much to say.”
“I do. I don’t know if it’s all wise or good, but I have a firestorm in my head some days, and I can’t get the words out fast enough.”
“There’s no hurry. Remind yourself to take it slow. The real music is in between the notes and the words,” I said.
Justin snaked his arms around my waist and stared out at the city lights below.
We were still for a while. The lingering quiet was deceptive. A casual observer might have mistaken us for old lovers engaged in a tender moment. Or maybe they’d guess we were tentative strangers anxious to make the right moves. Not too fast, not too slow. Neither was correct; there was no quiet here. An electric current sizzled and hissed between us. Intense sexual awareness and something more. Something fiery and passionate that had nothing to do with pretty words or music. He was wild and rough with jagged edges and a sharp mind. And he was so close now, I could feel his breath on my lips when he turned to face me.
“I want to kiss you,” I whispered, inching closer so our noses brushed.
Justin gave me a crooked smile and tugged at my belt loop. “Then do it.”
I stuck my tongue out and licked his bottom lip from one corner of his mouth to the other, then gently pressed my lips to his. He was deceptively tender at first. He closed his eyes and hummed into the connection. When I tilted my head, he let me in without hesitation. I couldn’t get enough. He tasted like gin and nicotine with a hint of peppermint. I pulled him against me, cupping the back of his neck, to kiss him harder and deeper. Our tongues twisted in a growing frenzy until everything and everyone around us dissolved into white noise. Justin lulled me into complacency and let me think I was in control. But when the unexpected sweetness threatened to pull me in, he held my face between his hands and drove his tongue into my mouth.
At first I was too surprised to do more than hang on, but the slide of his obvious hard-on against mine in steady rhythm with his hungry kisses spurred me into action. I angled my head to deepen the kiss as I raked my fingers down his back. Our feverish make-out session wasn’t sustainable. The moment we broke apart for air, I knew I had to come up with an alternate plan. We weren’t exactly in the middle of a crowded room, but we were still in public. And while Justin didn’t seem like the type to care about getting arrested for public indecency, I couldn’t risk it.
I broke for air and wrapped my fingers around his neck to keep him in place when he leaned forward to nip my bottom lip. Justin grinned like a madman and then lowered his eyelashes in a show of faux subservience. I didn’t trust him to stay still or obey for a second. He was wild and headstrong. He wasn’t going to do anything that wasn’t either his idea or a bad idea.
I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged it to get his attention. “Dammit, you’re a sexy fucker.”
Justin grunted his approval when I tilted my hips suggestively. The brush of our hard cocks, even through two layers of denim, felt amazing. I hadn’t been this horny in a long time. Hell, I hadn’t been this close to a man in a long time. I’d forgotten how much I liked it.
“Fuck, that feels good,” he whispered.
That was an understatement. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold back. My cock swelled against my zipper, and my skin tingled everywhere…my fingers, toes, and along my spine. Every part of me ached with desire for s
omeone I barely knew. I wanted to devour him. Suck him, lick him, taste every inch of him. My hands trembled and my pulse raced. I cupped his chin and ran my thumb over his stubbled jaw as I grinded my thick shaft alongside his.
Justin’s eyes fluttered shut for half a second, and his Adam’s apple moved lustily in his throat. “Let’s go to your room,” he purred.
“I don’t have a room here.”
He pulled away and cocked his head thoughtfully. “Oh. I’d invite you to my place, but I don’t really have one. Do you think anyone would notice if I got on my knees?”
“Christ,” I hissed. I grabbed his wrist and pulled it behind his back. I gave him a sharp look before glancing around the almost-empty deck area. “Come with me.”
I dropped his hand and headed inside.
The bar wasn’t overly crowded now. I couldn’t remember how late it stayed open during the week, but I didn’t think we had a lot of time before closing. I stopped at the elevator and pressed the button.
Justin glanced at me. “What are we doing?”
“We’re getting a room.”
“Wait. I want to, but…I don’t think…” He shook his head and stepped back. “The truth is, I talk a big game. I haven’t been with a guy in a few months, and I’m still dealing with the aftereffects from that experience. I should just…go. I’m sorry.”
I held his gaze, then nodded slowly. “Okay. Um…do you need a ride?”
“No, I’ll figure it out.” Justin shoved his hands into his pockets and bent his head. The awkward affectation made him look younger than his age. He seemed overwhelmed and completely out of his depth, and though I wanted to reassure him, I felt suddenly unsure. “Thanks for tonight. You were exactly the person I needed to meet.”
I smiled and then glanced toward the bar. “Take care. I love your words and I—”
“No.” He stared at me for a long moment, but he didn’t move a muscle.
“No, what?” I asked furrowing my brow.
He opened his mouth as if to speak, before launching himself into my arms. I stumbled and hit the wall just as he crashed his mouth over mine. Some semblance of propriety had me scrambling for new options. I backed us into a short hallway, cradling his head as our tongues glided and twisted passionately. We broke apart when one of the restroom doors creaked open. I smiled wanly at the startled young woman and then frowned when my companion snorted in amusement.
Justin wound his right arm over my shoulder and bit my bottom lip. He looked like he was about to say something, when the door opened again. He let out a low growl of frustration before slipping his hand in mine and pulling me into the men’s room.
The restroom was dimly lit by a pair of modern sconces on either side of the sinks. A single private stall with a floor-to-ceiling partition was located on the far end of the row of urinals. The space was well appointed, but small. And other than the sexy man leaning against the marble counter, it was empty. Justin caught my gaze in the mirror and grinned.
“What are you—”
Justin sealed his lips over mine and shoved his tongue in my mouth in a sexy power play. I met him thrust for thrust, deepening the kiss as I tilted my hips, grinding my shaft against his in a quest for friction. I ran my fingers along his spine and then squeezed his ass and rocked my pelvis. He groaned, licking my lips before burrowing close again and driving his tongue inside my mouth. The press of our bodies mixed with feverish groping and deep, hungry kisses made me crazy.
I gasped for air. Then I pushed him against the wall and wrapped one hand around his throat. We were so close now I could see flecks of gold in his eyes. When his expression morphed from surprise to amusement, I tightened my grip and licked his lips. He shivered and sighed in a sexed-out feverish way.
“What now?” he asked huskily.
“I don’t know. You’re the one with all the ideas.”
“Yeah, but they’re all very X-rated. Maybe you should take over. I don’t want to get us arrested.”
I nodded sharply, then tugged his elbow, bypassing the empty row of urinals before heading for the stall at the far end of a short marble wall. I closed the door, clicked the lock into place, and drew him against me. We made out in the semi-dark bathroom. But I dictated a slower pace. When he reached for my belt, I held his wrists and sucked his tongue before licking the column of his throat. Every time he pushed for control, I reset the tempo. It was sweet torture, and every second we denied ourselves, the fever rose higher until we were panting for more.
I raked my fingers down his back and buried my face in his neck. “God, I want you.”
“Fuck, yes,” he whispered. This time when he reached between us to unbuckle my belt and unzip my jeans, I didn’t stop him. “Can I touch you?”
I lowered the denim over my ass in response and finally released my aching cock. Then I grabbed his hand and wrapped his fingers around my shaft. “That’s right. Feel me, baby.”
“Oh, fuck.”
We stroked my cock together while we licked and sucked at each other in a frenzy. After a minute or so, I let go of his hand so he could free himself. I felt his leather belt slide against my lower abdomen and his fingers graze my cock as he unzipped. I wanted to watch the show, but his hungry kisses were all kinds of distracting. He effortlessly took over and this time, I let him. He angled his head to deepen the connection, plundering my mouth while he stroked me from base to tip and back again. He brushed his thumb across the precum leaking from my slit, then met my gaze as he sucked the digit clean.
“Mmm. You taste good,” he hummed.
The wild, erotic look in his eyes had to be the hottest thing I’d ever seen. Coherent speech wasn’t possible. I bit his chin, clutching his T-shirt for support as I gripped his shaft, grunting my approval when he reached for mine again and stroked us together. A public bathroom hand job never felt so damn good. I could have happily done this all night, but I was greedy as hell. I wanted more. And I was pretty sure he did too.
I lowered his jeans and briefs out of the way and squeezed his bare ass before sliding a single digit along his crack. Justin broke our manic kiss with a groan and bucked into my touch, wordlessly telling me what he was looking for. I pushed two fingers between his lips and then reached behind him to pull his cheeks apart and tap his hole. Justin released his hold on us and rested his forehead against mine as he humped my pole, then pushed back on my finger.
“Tell me what you want,” I whispered.
“Put your finger inside.”
I massaged the sensitive skin around his entrance, loving the feel of his weight against me. It was fitting that I was the one with my back to the wall while he called the shots. I wanted to claim this was an equal exchange of power, but I would have done anything he asked at that moment. He tensed when I added a second finger and went perfectly still.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” he said quickly. “Just give me a sec. And lube if you have any.”
“I don’t. Maybe I should—”
“Fuck me,” he intercepted. “You have two fingers in my ass. No way are you walking away now.
“I’m not going anywhere, but I don’t want to hurt you.”
He gave me a pointed look as though daring me to use an alternate meaning. “You won’t hurt me. I won’t break. I think I have a lubed condom.”
Justin fumbled in his pocket for the latex. He held up a shiny square wrapper a moment later with a grin and then made a production of opening it with his teeth. He raised his arm above his head when I reached for the condom and tsked playfully before dropping to his knees and swallowing me whole.
“Fuck.”
He fondled my balls as he worked me over. Up and down, up and down. I grabbed a handful of his hair, barely curbing the desire to let loose and fuck his mouth. But I was already close to the edge, and he obviously had other things in mind. He pulled off me with a popping sound, then stood again and slid the lube-slicked condom down my thick cock.
“Do it
. Just go slow at first.” He licked my lips before shuffling to face the wall next to me.
“I’ll be gentle.” I switched places and moved behind him, running my hand under his shirt and along his spine before smacking his left ass cheek.
He chuckled appreciatively when the obscene sound bounced off the walls in the quiet room. “I don’t want gentle. I want—oh, fuck yeah.”
I finger fucked him, twisting my wrist slightly and pressing soft kisses along his neck as he jacked himself. He wiggled backward, riding my fingers like a pro before begging for a third. I obeyed. I was aware of a few things at once. The sound of the door opening, a bright light followed by darkness, and the click of a lock. And then stillness.
We were locked inside the bathroom.
The grownup, responsible part of me figured this was a wake-up call. I gently removed my fingers from his ass and straightened. Justin growled and reached back to stop me.
“We aren’t done here. Fuck me,” he whispered insistently.
I gulped, but I didn’t require any persuasion. Fuck grownup responsibility. I felt for him in the dark and moaned aloud when I realized he was holding himself open for me. I lined my cock up with his hole and slowly pushed inside my lover. I took my time, moving inch by inch, until I was balls deep.
“God, you feel amazing,” I said.
He bucked his hips backward just as I reached for his dick. “Yeah, that’s good. I’m ready. Move. Please move,” he begged.
I did. Slow and steady at first before picking up the pace and giving him exactly what he asked for. Faster, harder, more.
The silence and heavy darkness added a sensual layer. Our sweat-slicked skin and lusty groans of pleasure echoed and reverberated around us, wrapping us in a carnal cocoon that felt a little dangerous but much too good to stop. When he bent farther at the waist, I let go of his cock and set one hand on his hip and the other on his shoulder, chanting a litany of praise. The “Your ass is so tight, baby” kind that seemed to drive him crazy. When he reached down to lift his balls and feel my cock sliding into him, I knew it was over for me. Moreover, I could tell the wave of pleasure coming for me would drag me under and hold me down. I was right. I cried out as the first rush of orgasm hit me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and thrust into him over and over until he joined me a moment later.