by Read, Calia
I would be lying if I said I don’t want to see him. Of course, I do. Any time Asa’s near me, I can feel it. But I simply cannot keep pretending as though we are cordial friends and nothing more. We both know there’s a history. A history he was an active participant in just as much I was. And if I see him, I don’t know what will slip from my mouth.
“Why can’t Étienne walk with Serene, and I walk with Beau?” I ask.
“Because Étienne volunteered to escort me down the aisle,” Rainey explains.
“Oh yes.” At once, my lips draw into a tight line, wishing I could pull the words back into my mouth. This wouldn’t be the first time Étienne had to be the stand-in for family members taken too soon. I don’t want to make tomorrow any harder on Rainey than it has to be. If I have to walk down the aisle with Asa, then I will. It isn’t as though we have to spend the entire night next to one another. I can be civil for the sake of Rainey and Livingston.
“How has it been working with Asa?” Serene quietly asks.
“Perfectly fine,” I lie. “I don’t see him hardly at all.”
I snatch a cucumber sandwich and shove it in my mouth. Serene and Rainey are patient, though, and stare at me until I’m done eating.
I dust my fingers off and impatiently look at them. “It’s true. He’s in his office quiet often.”
“Hmm,” Serene says.
“What’s that ‘hmm’ for?”
Rainey props her chin on Serene’s shoulder and looks between the two of us, thoroughly entertained by us.
Serene shrugs her free shoulder. “Oh, nothing. It’s just that you objected awfully strong when Rainey told you that he would be escorting you down the aisle.”
“How can you find fault in me for that?”
“I simply thought things were at least respectful between the two of you.”
“They are,” I slowly confess. Quickly, I look away and murmur, “Before we kissed.”
“What?” Rainey and Serene say at the exact same time.
My eyes close at the sound of shrill voices. “Oh, I knew that was bound to happen.”
“Of course, it was! You and Asa kissed!” Serene nearly shouts.
“When did this happen?” Rainey asks at the same time Serene asks, “How did it happen?”
I look between the two of them. “Which question should I answer first?”
Rainey and Serene look at each other before they come to a mutual understanding. “Answer my question,” Rainey replies. “And then Serene’s.”
Taking a deep breath, I nod. “Very well.” Serene and Rainey lean in at the same time, eyes wide and filled with anticipation. In this moment, I have an indiscriminate moment of gratefulness for these two ladies that I nearly reach out and hug them. I pushed so many people away when I lived at Brignac House, in naïve attempts to save my marriage, but all it did was drive my soul into the ground. If I would have reached out to Rainey or Serene, just once, they would have been there. Without a second thought.
“Well?” Serene prods. “Are you going to tell us?”
I shake my head, clearing my mind of the past. “We kissed nearly a week ago.”
Serene rocks back on her bottom and when she sits forward, she claps her hands. “I knew it. I just knew it!” She looks at Rainey. “I knew it, didn’t I?”
“You did not know it,” Rainey scoffs.
Serene waves her words away. “Oh, you’re just mad because you didn’t know it.”
“I did too!” Rainey disagrees. She punctuates her words by slapping her hands on her knees.
There’s a loud knock, and unsurprisingly, Étienne opens the door. “What is all the hollerin’ about?”
Briefly Rainey and I look at one another. Serene hops up from the bed and walks over to Étienne. “We’re talking. That’s all.” Serene slides her arm around Étienne’s waist and leans against him.
Étienne, who is always stoic and unmoving, places a hand on Serene’s lower back and begins to smile at her, but he stops when he realizes they’re not alone. He lifts his head and narrows his eyes at me. I narrow mine right back, before I look away.
Étienne appears gruff, and before Serene, his demeanor remained that way. But the short amount of time I stayed with them, I noticed how much time he spends with her. When he is home, he is either with his kids or with Serene, talking with her, and on the rarest of occasions, smiling.
He isn’t coming in here because he is angry. He merely misses his best friend.
“It’s a bit extraordinary, isn’t it?” Rainey whispers. “To see Étienne in love.”
“It’s extraordinary to see both my brothers in love,” I reply.
Gently, Rainey pats me on the back while Étienne and Serene finish talking. Serene stands on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss, and then quietly whispers to him. She closes the door behind Étienne and hurries back over to the bed. She sits beside Rainey and gives me her full attention.
“What are you goin’ do?” Rainey asks me.
“Nothin’.”
“Nothin’,” Serene repeats dubiously.
“Nothin’,” I echo, this time with casual indifference.
Neither she nor Rainey appear convinced. I don’t think anything I say or do will convince them otherwise. “Tonight isn’t about Asa and me. It is about Rainey and Livingston. I’d like to make a toast.” I sit up straight and grab my glass from the nightstand. Rainey and Serene follow suit. I raise my glass amongst the three of us. “To love, and all its glorious wonder and power. May we all be as lucky as you and my brother.”
I tap my glass against theirs and swallow the acid taste of my words.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Nathalie
I look at myself in the mirror for the umpteenth time.
This is Rainey’s big day, but the way my heart refuses to stop pounding you would think otherwise. I know I objected to Asa escorting me down the aisle, but the idea that I would be with him gives me a secret thrill.
Do I know he will go back to Juliet after the wedding is over? Yes.
Am I putting extra care in getting ready so Asa can see what he turned his back on? Perhaps.
Serene and I tried our best to wear gowns of a similar color. And I think we did quite well.
My chiffon gown is a burnt gold color with black flowered sequins encircling my waist. The fit maintains the drop waist, but the material loosely flows about my feet.
Serene’s gown is a sandy brown with an ivory silk scarf around her waist to accentuate the drop waist. Like mine, the hem of her evening gown falls to her ankles, but it doesn’t flow out around her. We both have our hair done in finger waves and makeup is subtly applied.
I was careful when putting on my Maybelline cake mascara. The product was inside a red box with a small brush. You wet the brush, rub the bristles against the product and quickly apply the product to the lashes. You can take the product to your brows, but for me, it takes my already dark brows and makes them even thicker.
I’ve used my cake mascara so often that the Maybelline stamp that was once pressed on the product is now gone.
“If you could only see what kind of makeup they have in my time,” Serene whispers into my ear.
I smile at her, wanting to know more, but knowing that’s all Serene will say with the amount of people coming in and out of the room.
“Did you see what I just purchased?” I ask excitedly.
I hurry toward the vanity and grab the small tin pot. “It’s a new lip pomade by Max Factor.”
“Oh, Max Factor!” Serene takes the pomade and spins off the top.
“I’m thrilled that the two of you have found a connection with makeup. But I’m preparin’ for the rest of my life right now.”
In unison, we turn and see Rainey holding onto the post with both hands while the maid pulls on the strings of her corset. Rainey squeezes both of her eyes shut and sucks in a sharp breath. The maid looks at Rainey, unsure if she should continue.
“Oh, my Lord i
n heaven,” Mrs. Pleasonton huffs and strides over. “Let me do it.”
“Momma, corsets are horrid.”
“This is just below your bust. I do not want to hear any complaints. You can breathe with this on.” Repeatedly, Mrs. Pleasonton tugs and tugs on the strings as she talks. “Unlike when I was a young woman. Do you know how uncomfortable the corsets were in 1857?”
“No, but you’re certainly goin’ to tell me.”
With those words, Mrs. Pleasonton pulls tighter on the strings, causing Rainey to wince once more. “Of course, I am. They were so tight you were blessed if you didn’t break a rib or bruise a lung.” Mrs. Pleasonton gives one last pull before she’s satisfied with her work. Dusting her hands off, she takes a step back and helps the maid with Rainey’s gown.
“I once knew a girl who had the smallest waist because of her corset. Eighteen inches,” she says over her shoulder. “Can you believe it?”
“How did she breathe?” Serene mutters.
“Oh, none of us did, dear. None of us did,” Mrs. Pleasonton replies as she walks by with the maid. The gown held between them.
“As I was sayin’,” she continues, “This girl was so small with her corset, but when it came time to have children, she couldn’t. It’s because the corset smashed her internal organs.”
Rainey rubs her temples. “Momma, this can’t be a true story.”
Mrs. Pleasonton appears outraged by Rainey’s doubt. “Of course, it is!” She lays the gown on the bed and places her hands on her hips. “What was that girl’s name?”
She taps her foot before she snaps her finger. “Cecilia!” she says triumphantly.
“Poor Cecilia and her smushed organs,” Serene says solemnly.
Rainey and I smile while Mrs. Pleasonton nods. “Precisely.” She turns her attention back to her daughter. “Be grateful times have changed. There’s not a thing smashed inside you.”
Rainey lifts a brow. “Momma, is there somethin’ you need to tell me?”
“Absolutely. I want grandchildren from you. Preferably soon.”
Rainey’s mouth drops open. “Are you jestin’?”
“Of course not. I think grandchildren would be wonderful.”
“Well, let me get this dress on and make it down the aisle before I give you an answer, all right?”
“Very well.”
The four of us stand around Rainey and carefully help her into her dress. The several layers awkwardly settle around her body and we get to work. Gently, we pull the material, so it settles around her waist, hips and legs. Momentarily appeased, we all step back. Mrs. Pleasonton taps a finger against the corner of her mouth.
The wedding dress is beautifully made of ivory lace and silk. The layers artfully overlap one another and pin together at the waist with a silver floral brooch. Beneath the waist, the lace drapes around her legs and reveals the silk beneath. The design of the dress accentuates her figure without the dress being insufferably tight. Pearls decorate the shoulders of the dress. Lace hangs from the pearls, creating thin sleeves.
Mrs. Pleasonton steps forward and shifts and pulls here and there before she’s content. “The veil, please,” she demands.
The three of us scurry toward the armoire where the veil hangs on one of the open doors. We’re all careful with the lace, as though we’re dressing the Queen for her coronation. In a lot of ways, that’s what is happening today. The rightful queen is taking her place next to her king. I can say with certainty that both of my brothers found their queens.
With my help, Mrs. Pleasonton places the veil onto Rainey’s head. The Battenburg lace is exquisite and drapes down her body, trailing behind her. This is the final touch her gown needed.
A sigh of contentment slips from Mrs. Pleasonton’s mouth as she looks at her daughter. “Well… Raina, you are just about the most stunnin’ creature I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”
Rainey and Mrs. Pleasonton are continually at one another’s throats. They are similar in so many ways. But in this moment, there’s no hollering or arguing between them. Rainey looks to be on the verge of tears.
“Oh, shit,” Serene whispers as she turns away. “Stupid dust in my eyes.”
Rainey gives a short burst of laughter. Nearly everyone in the room, including me, dabs at their eyes, but it’s Serene’s remark that lightens the air.
Serene turns back, dabbing at her eyes. “She really does look beautiful. Reminds me of Duchess Kate on her wedding day.”
Frowning, I continue to watch Mrs. Pleasonton fuss over Rainey. “Who is Duchess Kate?”
Sighing, Serene shakes her head. “Oh, no one.” Serene’s brief reply tells me she’s speaking of someone from her time. She tries her hardest, but there are numerous gaffes on her part. No one outside our family is none the wiser.
Mrs. Pleasonton gives a small clap and snaps her fingers as though she’s herding cattle. We all turn toward her and find her gesturing toward the door. “We should make our way to the church or we are going to be late.”
Serene and I turn to Rainey. I link my arm through her right; Serene takes her left.
“Ready?” Serene asks.
Rainey takes a deep breath and nods. “Ready.”
When we arrive at the church, a chill goes down my spine because I was here not long ago, rushing through the doors and objecting to Asa’s wedding. That day did not end how I imagined, and even now when I think back on it, my heart aches at what could have been if I just would’ve arrived moments earlier.
Today, nothing is going to prevent Livingston and Rainey. The two of them belong together. If someone did object, they would have to go through me, Étienne, Mrs. Pleasonton, and Serene. I’m certain my sister-in-law isn’t above bodily harm to make certain this wedding has no blunders.
We stand with the bridal party outside, soaking up the Carolina winter breeze. With the sun shining down, it’s hard to believe it’s a December afternoon. Étienne walks down the front steps of the church and heads directly toward us. The handsome Beau Legare is beside him. Any women lingering outside gape at him. No man should be as beautiful as him. With his blond hair and golden skin, he looks like a Grecian god. His features are carved from stone: sharp and smooth. Bright blue eyes hide behind his wire-rimmed glasses. Beau doesn’t understand his attractiveness; his stutter makes him too shy.
Beau is the perfect man. Single with a respectable job as a lawyer. Yet when I look at him, my heart feels nothing. No flush to my cheeks, no restriction in breathing. Unfortunately, he’s a friend and nothing more. Étienne approaches Serene and slides his hand into hers. The two of them remind me of magnets. When they’re in vicinity of each other, they can’t be apart. Serene looks up at Étienne and smiles. “The three of you finally arrived.”
“We’re not that late,” Serene declares before she thinks twice. “Are we?”
“T-t-the guest a-are all s-sittin’,” Beau says.
Rainey’s eyes widen. “Oh, my Lord,” she declares and takes a deep breath.
“We’re not late,” Serene quickly says.
“She’s right,” I chime in. “I’d say we’re right on time.” I look to Beau and Étienne to agree. Immediately, Beau nods. Étienne clears his throat. “Yes, you arrived right on time.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me we were late?”
“Because we aren’t late, remember?” Serene clarifies with a smile.
“Serene is always late,” Étienne cuts in.
My sister-in-law looks at Étienne from the corner of her eye. “Of course, I’m late to you. You arrive fifteen minutes early to everything.”
“I like to be prompt.”
“Prompt or pompous?” Serene shoots back.
“I’m pompous because I like to be on time?” Étienne challenges.
“I’m sorry, are the two of you disagreein’ over time?” I ask with a smile.
Both Serene and Étienne glare at me, but I can’t be the only one amused by them.
“We’re not disagreeing,” Serene
objects.
“She’s right.”
“We’re…” Serene searches for the right word.
“Havin’ a discussion,” Étienne provides.
Serene snaps a finger and points to Étienne. “Yes!” she exclaims. “We’re having that.”
“Well,” Rainey says as she gathers the back of her dress, “the two of you can continue your discussion out here on the sidewalk, but I would like to get married today.”
At once, the two of them break apart, with Étienne moving beside Rainey. “Of course, of course.”
“I see your momma is waving us closer,” I observe.
The moment we arrived at the church, Mrs. Pleasonton declared she was going inside to see where Livingston was and told Rainey, Serene and I to stay outside until she said it was time to come in.
“That probably means we need to line up.”
Étienne holds both arms out. One for his wife, and the other for the bride. He gives me a regretful smile. “I would escort you if I had more arms.”
“Please. You don’t need to worry.”
They begin to walk toward the church. Beau shyly stands back, looking at me and the ground before he offers his arm.
I smile brightly and hook my arm through his. “Thank you, Mr. Legare.”
His neck becomes red and the color spreads up to his cheeks. “Y-y-your’re welcome.”
“It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?” I ask.
“Yes. P-p-perfect day f-for a weddin’.”
I turn to him, words on my tongue, when I feel heat drift down my back. I look over one shoulder and see none other than Asa Calhoun steps behind me. He’s escorting Juliet, but he’s staring right at me. Those heartbreaking brown eyes pull me in as he carefully looks at me. How can he appear so stoic and imposing, yet seem confused and innocent by a simple downturn of the eye?
There is nothing innocent or confused in his gaze, though. I’ve seen that expression on his face. He’s jealous of Beau.
Quickly, I face forward and keep my gaze fixed on the church doors. Usually, I would comfort myself with the knowledge that I wouldn’t have to face him, but today, that’s not the case. I can’t evade him and the unbearable tension we’ve created for ourselves.