by Lisa Shelby
“And that’s what we did. The guys came back and told us they had found two warehouses. One was locked up tight and seemed dark inside, but at the same time we were talking to each other online, they say the windows of that warehouse lit up, and we put it together that this was where they had you. We weren’t one hundred percent certain but certain enough.”
“That’s incredible. I don’t know what would have happened if you all hadn’t been there. Thank you so much. What was in the other building?”
Detective King speaks up, puffing up his chest. “Brown had gone into business while he was here looking for you, and he had a warehouse full of cocaine and heroin. We’ve got him on enough charges to keep him on the inside for the rest of his life.”
“I swear I heard a gunshot this morning. Did anyone get hurt?”
Ben speaks up for me. “Ah, that sound was the sound of your friend, Teardrop, taking a shot in the chest after lifting his weapon in the direction of the officers that surrounded their buildings. He never got a shot off before we took him down.”
I can tell, hearing somebody died today isn’t something she is sure how to feel about. It doesn’t sit well with her, but it was the asshole who wasn’t kind to her so she doesn’t seem too distraught, and she doesn’t have any more questions.
Detective King and Officer Basco take their leave and Baxter, Rich, and Ben circle Olivia's bed. Rich is standing next to me and puts his hand on my shoulder when he addresses my everything. "Olivia, we are going to do our best to make sure Brown doesn't get a bail option."
"Thank you, Rich, but I don't think I can afford you."
The room erupts in laughter, and my love for her deepens on the spot.
"Sweetheart, you aren't going to pay me a dime. You're a part of the family now, and there won't be any bills headed your direction. Besides, if you think Ro, is going to let you pay for any of my services, then we may need to be a bit more concerned about those head injuries of yours, because he would never let it happen."
"But..."
"Gorgeous, I love you, but you don't get a discussion about this one. If you don't let me pay him, he'll just do it pro-bono so either way you slice it, you aren't paying a dime for your legal fees."
"On that note, I am going to leave you two to talk about this, and I am going to head to the courthouse and make sure bail isn't set. I'll keep in touch with Ro—" She starts to argue, but he is too quick for her and cuts her off before she gets a word out. "Because you should be resting. Not because he is a man and you are a woman, and not because he should be taking care of you because you aren't capable of taking care of yourself. I will call Ro, because you need to rest and recover. You're one of us now, and it's okay to lean on us, especially this guy," he says while mussing my hair and trying to lighten the mood. "We take care of each other, and right now you need to rest. Once you're back on your feet, I'll reach out to you directly, but for now rest and let him take care of you. Deal?"
She wipes a tear from her cheek and replies meekly. "Deal." She sniffles adorably, and Ben hands her a tissue. "Thank you, Rich. I really appreciate it."
"Of course. Ro, I'll be in touch."
I stand and he pulls me into a hug. "Thanks, Rich. For everything."
"You're my family, Ro. I love you, man. Anything you need, I'm here."
He releases me, and I nod, letting him know I heard him, but I don't dare speak. My emotions are on over-drive today, and the support of my friends, my true family, is shining through more than ever before in our time of need.
I'm a lucky bastard.
"Olivia, you are one tough cookie," Ben says, taking her hand in his and patting the back of it. "How you survived this week and the balls it took for you to do what you did today is really fucking impressive." She likes his blunt compliment if the smile on her face is any indication. "I am so damn proud of you."
"Thanks, Ben. For everything. I know you were a big part of everything that happened this morning, and I hope you know how much I appreciate you and all of your fellow officers."
"It's our job, but today I really loved my job. Getting to take down that asshole and his cohorts is what it's all about. I thought getting you out of there safely would be the hard part, but you had that all taken care of for us. If you're ever interested in law enforcement let me know. I think you'd be a perfect fit."
"Aw, thanks. I'm pretty happy with my current employer at the time being." She squeezes my hand and looks me in the eye. "I think we make a pretty great team."
God, I love this woman.
"Team is correct. We're equal, baby. I am not your employer. We work side by side and don't you forget it."
She rolls her good eye, and winces.
"See where your sass will get you."
This time she replies by sticking her tongue out, and I can't help but smile. She is simply magnificent. Even in her current condition she continues to fill my soul with love, light, and laughter.
How could I have ever let this happen to her?
Never again.
Not on my watch.
"Well, if he becomes too much of a tyrant just let me know."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Okay, I have got a shit-ton of paperwork to fill out after everything that happened today, so I better get to it. If you need anything call or text."
Ben leaves and Baxter pulls up a chair but doesn't take her hand. I can feel a change in the atmosphere so I take my seat too.
"Olivia...I am so glad you're okay, and what you did today was very brave. You are certainly a force to be reckoned with and I too, couldn't be prouder of you. But..."
"I am so sorry—"
He cuts her off and continues what I have a feeling is about to be a very fatherly speech. "Olivia, I know you grew up on your own, and I know you can take care of yourself, but what you did. I am sorry, I do not mean to scold you and you can curse me all you want, but Olivia, what you did was selfish." She nods her head in agreement. "We have all come to care about you, but Ronan...Ronan loves you more than I have ever seen anyone love another person. I know things haven't been perfect for the two of you and his way of protecting you may have been unconventional..." he says, as he gives me the side-eye I deserve. "...but he thought he was doing the right thing. He finally had you back and to see the pain he felt when he thought you were hurt or might have lost you forever is something I don’t want to see him go through again."
"I understand," she whispers through her tears that are cascading down her face.
I can't stand to see her hurting so I try to interrupt. "Baxter, man, give her a break." He's starting to go a bit too far and it's pissing me off.
"No, Ronan, he's right and he loves you. It's okay."
He nods his head to confirm what she's just said. He loves me.
I've always known I could count on him, but to see him show this kind of care and concern for my well-being is a little overwhelming.
Until this week, hell today, I've never really known what it meant to have a family. To have a group of people who love you unconditionally and take your side. Have your back. I've always known I could count on Baxter and the guys, but I never really thought about the fact that I love them like family and that they might feel the same way about me.
"She's right, I do. I love you like my own family just like Ben and Richie do, and if you had done something like this to her, I would be saying the same thing to you."
She lets go of my hand and wipes the tears from my cheek. I don't know what's happening to me.
I don't cry.
I must be tired and overwhelmed, because this is a first for me.
"Olivia, you not only scared Ronan but you caused a lot of undue stress to my team. Especially, Bellinger. I am not sure he will ever forgive himself for your kidnapping or the pain you've endured. He and the whole team haven't slept in days. I am not saying this to hurt you, but to make you realize that we aren't the bad guys and neither is Ronan. I understand your reasons for needing to get
away, but I'm sure we could have figured something out and Bellinger could have taken you on a drive or gotten you out of the hotel if it really meant that much to you." He points to me. "And you, need to see things from her point of view. You weren't the one locked up while she gallivanted around with some other man who couldn't keep his hands off her. You needed to give a little and she"—he turns his attention back to Olivia—"needed to talk to Ronan and myself to stress how badly you needed to get out. We could have figured it out.”
"I am so sorry. I never meant to cause all of this, and I swear it will never happen again."
"Damn straight it won't,” Baxter says to me with a nod, as though he’s making me a promise right here and now, before turning his attention back to Olivia. “Besides, we got the bastard so hopefully your days of looking over your shoulder are over, sweetie. In the end, I am just so sorry and not just for this week. I’m sorry for all that you've endured in your life, and I feel privileged to know you and to welcome you into our little family."
"Oh, Baxter," she cries holding her arms out and inviting him to come over and hug her.
He gently hugs her as requested, and when he pulls back, he looks her in the eye and is crystal clear in his last message to her. "You aren't alone anymore. Let us be there for you, and you can be there for us to. That's the way this works, okay?"
"Okay." She pulls him back in for another hug.
Once she releases him, he saunters over to me and pulls me in for a rare hug as well. I'm not sure I have ever hugged the man before this week. He is probably the person I spend the most time with, and he knows me better than anyone else, but I don't think we have ever hugged.
It's amazing how one woman can bring people together and make them realize how much they mean to one another.
I guess we aren't all as alone as we think we are.
Baxter leaves and it's just the two of us. The moment the door clicks shut my strong, self-assured heroine breaks. She doesn't just break, she shatters. Her body is racked with sobs while she holds her hand over her mouth.
"Baby, what is it? Are you hurting?" She shakes her head, but she couldn't be more distraught. She still has one hand over her mouth, but her other hand is gripping her side as she holds herself and rocks back and forth. "Baby, do you need a nurse?"
She removes her hand, and a sound that rips my soul bare and breaks me right along with her fills the room.
"I'm. Sorry. I. Am. So. Sorry." Both her arms are now wrapped around her waist as she holds herself and continues to rack. "Ronan. I love you so much, and I am so sorry."
I crawl into her bed as best as I can without hurting her. I lay next to her and wrap her up in my arms and let her cry into my chest while I rest my cheek on the top of her head, the part that isn't covered in stitches. After everything she's been through, she is hysterical with guilt. She wasn't consumed with this much pain when her mother died, or maybe it's a combination of the emotions from the last month and a half all coming down on her at once, and it's even more than someone as fierce as Olivia can take.
"It's okay, Olivia. I know. I know." I squeeze her to me even tighter, and I can feel her fist my shirt in desperation.
She’s holding on so tight it feels like she’s trying to crawl inside me where it’s safe.
"I love you so damn much. I'm just glad to have you back in my arms. If anyone of us is sorry, it's me. I should have handled things differently. From London, to holding you prisoner at the St. Francis. I'm the one who is sorry, baby."
I don't know if I'll ever find a way to forgive myself.
She shakes her head to disagree with me but quickly lifts her hand to her head clearly in pain.
"Gorgeous, you need to give yourself a break. You need to heal," I whisper into her hair. "Deep breaths. You need to get some sleep, and if you're upset you'll never get any rest. Can you take some deep breaths for me?"
Her body sighs up and down as she follows my instructions.
"Good, baby. Again."
We spend the next couple of minutes simply breathing. I can feel her crying ebb slowly, and eventually we're both settled. This is all we need.
To simply hold each other.
To simply breathe again.
We don't talk anymore and at some point, my sweet angel falls asleep. When the nurse comes in, I slip out of the bed and into the little bathroom inside her room to throw some water on my face.
I turn on the water and let it run over my hands, but I can't move. I can't bring the water to my face no matter how hard I try. All the strength I mustered to hold her and help her through her moment of rare weakness rushes from my body and I go cold. My hands are shaking and I feel like I might be sick. I try to take a deep breath, but the air I so desperately need doesn't come anywhere close to filling my lungs.
Putting my hands behind my head, I turn toward the wall of the tiny bathroom. I can't take the chance of seeing my face in the mirror. I'm not ready to see the shame I know will be reflected back at me. Resting my head against the cold surface in front of me, I ball up my fists in fury. I press one fist against the cold wall and hope the feel of the concrete will lessen the need I have to break the wall down with all the rage building up inside me. All I want to do is punch a hole through the wall, but she doesn't need to worry about me injuring myself when she's dealing with her own recovery.
I thought once I had her back in my arms, the pain, the rage, and the guilt would quiet down, but after hearing her tell her story today, all the emotions I was hoping to be rid of are ravaging me like a plague. No one should have to go through what she went through, but especially not her. She's been through enough, and now I have to tell her that all of this happened to her because of my family. Because of me.
How do you explain that to the love of your life? How do you tell her that she was such an embarrassment to your family and business that your own father would do anything, including handing her over to the nightmare she had been running from her entire life, without hurting her?
How?
Turning, I press my back against the cold concrete and slowly slide down the wall until my ass hits the bathroom floor. My always vibrant, always sassy Olivia, is weak and exhausted.
Bruised and battered.
But I have her back.
She's here safe and sound and that bastard is in custody.
She didn't leave me.
She loves me.
These thoughts overwhelm me with relief and the many days of no sleep and not eating finally catch up to me. What little bit of composure I had left is gone. For the second time today, hell, for the second time in my adult life, I feel the burn of stinging tears, that I can no longer keep at bay, seep from the corners of my eyes. Once the first tears break free, there is nothing I can do to stop the steady stream that follows. I cover my mouth with my hand so my pain mixed with relief can't be heard, and so I don't wake the sleeping beauty on the other side of the door.
I know now that I can never be without this woman. I don't work without her. Air doesn't fill my lungs without her. Blood stops pumping through my veins when she isn't with me. There is nothing I won't do to keep her safe, happy, and by my side for the rest of my days. My job at EVC, my house on Franklin Street and every boat, car, and luxury item I own mean absolutely nothing without her.
Take them all, just give me Olivia and my life is complete.
17
Olivia
I've been home from the hospital for two weeks, and Ronan is still treating me like glass. He rarely leaves my side, but he isn't himself.
His smiles don't reach his eyes, and I don't think I have heard him laugh once. I don't need one of his amazing throw your head back and laugh your ass off laughs. Just a simple chuckle would suffice. His deep voice, especially his laugh, is one of my favorite sounds, and I miss it. I also miss the light no longer shining in his eyes.
I may have found my way back to him, but now I feel like he's the one who's missing.
The day after my escap
e from the warehouse, he told me how Dickey had been able to find me and that he had resigned from EVC the day I took my little walk. There was no hiding the pain and the shame that telling me brought him. He blames himself for everything that happened.
What I couldn't get him to realize was that my path began when I was a young girl with a father who had a gambling problem. He didn't bring Dickey Brown into my life and neither did his father.
No, my father did that, and I still loved him. I still do.
Was the fact that my being in Ronan's life was such a disgrace that Daniel would go to the lengths he did to break us apart hurtful?
Of course.
It was embarrassing, and I too was drowning in guilt and despair. When you see a man like Ronan...a man who is head strong, confident, and proud in such misery, it's almost too much to take.
In fact, I almost let it consume me. Watching the man I love feel humiliation and shame gave me what I needed to recover. It gave me strength. Strength to fill Ronan's heart and soul with love and joy. To find his pride again.
Dickey had already taken my father, my mother, and my childhood away from me. He was not going to take Ronan too.
Nope.
Not happening.
Yes, I was pretty down when I was in the hospital. Seeing Ronan, Baxter, Ben, and Richie so worn out and exhausted and knowing my jealousy and immaturity was the cause of it, had me beating myself up pretty well. To know these men, whom I've known for such a short period of time, all did so much to find me and most of all to be there for Ronan, touched me deeply. I'll never be able to apologize enough or to convey just how much I regret my actions.
I can't take all the credit for finding the resolve I needed to pull myself out of the same pit of depression Ronan is still hiding in. No, I can thank some pretty amazing ladies for helping me find the wherewithal I needed to find my own strength.
Both nights in the hospital, Ronan slept in my bed with me. It was a tight fit, but he didn't care in the least. He needed to be close to me, and it was just what I needed too. Once he finally fell asleep, nothing was going to wake him. The nurses came in to check on me, they brought me food, and I actually got up and went to the bathroom and he didn't move. When I was sure he wasn't going to wake I called Alex.