by Lisa Shelby
"Good, I feel the exact same way," I say, giving her a kiss on her neck.
She plays with my hair without even realizing she's doing it, like she always does. "Besides, in a few years you may need a place to escape to so you can get some space from your wife."
"Never."
"Ronan, we live together, we work together, and now we're gonna add a baby to the mix. That's a lot of time together. Eventually, this honeymoon phase is bound to wear off."
"Never."
She shakes her head, but her big brown eyes love my answer.
"Ronan, promise me if I don't lose the baby weight and become a haggard mess of a mom, you'll still love me."
"As long as the moon is in the sky, I'll be loving you, baby."
"So, so mushy."
"You love it, gorgeous."
"Yes...yes, I do, handsome."
Preview of Blackbird by Lisa Shelby
Huck ~ Now
“Sorry, little buddy, but I don't understand sign language.”
To say the little boy sitting in the waiting room chair across from me is cute would be the understatement of the year. With his little round glasses, his perfectly spiked blond hair and his chubby little hands and cheeks, he’s a welcome distraction. The beige waiting room, complete with standard issue fish tank and magazine racks covered in celebrities and royals has me feeling itchy, but he’s brought a smile to my face and to do that here, in this place, is saying something.
His mom; blonde, attractive and undeniably exhausted, signs my reply back to him and without hesitation, he slides off his chair and is rubbing his little fingers over the intricate details of the tattoo spanning the length of my forearm. The tattoo that represents who I used to be. Who I'll never be again.
I glance up at his mom who shyly apologizes for his excitement, but I wave her off and let her know it's okay.
His little fingers stop tickling the bird on my arm when he looks up at me with the sweetest smile I have ever seen.
I’m not sure what it is about him, but this kid makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. I don’t do warm and fuzzy. Not anymore.
"Do you like birds, little man?" I can’t help but want to hang with this little nugget. I mean, he’s wearing a Hulk Smash shirt, the Hulk is practically my spirit-animal.
He looks to his mom who signs my question and he signs something back. She doesn’t get to translate for me though. Their attention is taken when the waiting room door opens. My new friend takes off in a flash to run toward the foot holding the door open. I can't take my eyes off him as I follow him across the waiting room marveling at his exuberance. If only I could muster his level of excitement to be here.
His mom waves goodbye, still shy and when I look back at little mister exuberance my heart stops and my entire body throbs like one big pounding pulse as my heart beats so hard and fast it takes over my body. The owner of the foot has come into view bringing my life to a screeching halt. The little boy plows into her and wraps his arms around her legs.
This cannot be happening.
Her mouth falls open and her eyes, still the bright color of emerald gemstones, are huge with shock and glistening with tears, a smile slowly forming on her perfect lips.
Flashes of the moonlight dancing across her tan skin, giggles floating on the salt air and the memories of us mixed with the sand, surf and sun play like a montage through my brain.
Before she has a chance to speak or engage me in any way, the option of flight or fight kicks in. I choose flight.
It’s all too much.
I never called.
Two years and I never fucking called.
Pretending I don’t see her, like the coward I am, I make a hasty escape out of the waiting room, begging myself not to look back. The risk that comes with real eye contact with her is too great. How do I explain where I’ve been or not want to kill myself when I see the inevitable pity in her eyes?
Seeing her in person is an all-consuming combination of each and every one of my dreams coming true only to crash head first into my worst nightmares.
I dream of her every night.
Her face. Those freckles. That giggle of hers.
But those dreams usually turn into nightmares when her soft sweet features change to pity and sadness as she realizes I’m no longer the man she met two years ago. More often than not, I wake up screaming...begging for her forgiveness. Forgiveness she doesn’t owe me. No matter how hard I try to latch on to the dreams full of paradise, the nightmares seem to leave a deeper mark.
I feel her rushing after me catching a flash of her dark blue clothes out of my peripheral as I all but sprinted out of the office, you know, like a man who doesn’t have the balls to face up to his broken promises. Not looking back, I've made my escape and in seconds I’m slamming through the door at the end of the hall leading to the stairs. The thought of standing in place waiting for the elevator seems inconceivable at the moment.
Keep moving. I need to keep moving.
Flying down four flights of stairs at a fast clip I bust out of the stairwell door landing in the parking garage heaving with anger, just like the image on the little boy’s t-shirt. Storming to my bike, throwing on my helmet and bringing the engine to life, my bike is the relief I’m looking for. She vibrates all the way through my body, rattling my bones. Providing the calm I need.
The clouds above hang low, threatening rain. I could care less. I plan on riding until I run out of gas.
Running away from the pain and the loss are what I seem to do best these days. My bike and my rum are the only things getting me through.
ORDER YOUR COPY OF BLACKBIRD NOW.
WHAT TO READ NEXT…
Blackbird
Standalone second chance contemporary romance.
The Gorgeous Duet
A steamy, suspenseful romance about breaking the rules and following your heart.
Gorgeous: Book One
Gorgeous: Book Two
The You & Me Series
(A series of Standalone Novels set in the You & Me world.)
Read this three-book series of sweet and sexy standalone novels filled with love, loss, secrets, and sass.
You & Me
More
Something Just Like This
GORGEOUS: BOOK TWO
PLAYLIST
Dream – Bishop Briggs
Cross My Mind – ARIZONA
Touch - Kehlani
Magic – Coldplay
Your Song – Rita Ora
Trouble – Cage the Elephant
You Are The Reason – Calum Scott
Without Your Love – Chris Stapleton
Only You – Parson James
Alive – Sia
Slow Hands (Acoustic) – Niall Horan
Black – Dierks Bentley
Millionaire – Chris Stapleton
Click here to listen on Spotify.
Acknowledgments
All of my love and appreciation…
To everyone who has ever read one of my books, I will never be able to express how much it means to me. I never dreamed anyone would read my words, let alone enjoy them. To all of the readers and bloggers who have taken the time to review my books, share my social media posts, and in many cases, have become my friends, thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you. #ReadersRock
S, you will always be my Georgia, my BFF, and there is nobody I would rather share a moon with. I will always love you more, baby.
You + Me = MTB
J, I wish for nothing more in this world than for you to continue to grow into the amazing young man you are. I hope you find someone who will make you happy and that you won’t hesitate to share your moon with. I love you, buddy.
Nadia at Kiss & Tell Design Lab, book five is a wrap! Thank you for my gorgeous covers and for still calling me friend after the process was said and done. I heart you, girl!
Allison, thank you for always being willing to jump in and take a chance on my rough edits and reading the not-so-
gorgeous version of my work. Thank you for your enthusiasm and support. #BBC
Lia at Finishing Touch Editing you are amazing. I hope your sanity is still intact after editing my words. One day I promise to figure out the proper use of a comma.
Ena at Enticing Journey Book Promotions, thank you for going on this Gorgeous journey with me and helping to spread the word about my book babies!
Tandy at Tandy Proofreads you are a gem. Thank you for your enthusiasm and for catching all the little things.
Thank you to all my fellow authors who have been so welcoming. I am proud to be a romance author and a member of the romance community.
XOXO,
About the Author
Lisa Shelby is an ever-so-hopeless romantic and self-professed love geek. Born and raised in the Pacific Northwest and proud to call Oregon home. It’s here that she resides with her husband, son, and two fur baby dogs. Reading has been her obsession and writing had been her secret passion. It was that passion that led her on her journey to write a book for her husband. What began as a gift turned into an inspiration of love and the desire to share that love with everyone. With the encouragement of her husband and the support of her family and friends, she began her journey and published her debut novel, “You & Me” in September 2016. With the completion of her Gorgeous Duet in early 2018, she will have five published works under her belt with an endless amount of ideas and outlines always in the works.
Lisa loves to talk all things books and romance and loves to chat with readers. Be sure to follow her everywhere!
Website: http://www.lisashelby.com