Then I could get back on track.
Ignoring Mr. Coleman, I stroll by like I’m not late, enjoying the strangled sound of indignation he can’t quite muffle. The closer I get to Thea, the more this morning grates on my nerves. Over and over it replays in my mind: her hand on his arm, her bright smile. I glare at her as the betrayal burns in my gut.
I should destroy her for that act of disloyal defiance. Blast her photos to the whole damn school. She’s more trouble than she’s worth to have my way against my mom and hers. I swear, I’ve never put so much effort in with a girl. No one ever fights me, questions me, defies me the way she does.
The brunt of my glare is a blow. Thea slouches down in her seat, shoulders hunched over.
As I drop in my chair, an aggravated sigh explodes out of me. Everything has gone to shit today.
It takes a minute to register the complete silence in the room. Glancing up at Coleman, I wave my hand.
“Well?” I snap my fingers, impersonating Coleman when he wants us to pay attention. The enraged look that flashes on his face has me biting back a smirk. “I’m here to get an education.”
As titters move through the class, I feel Devlin nudge me from behind in support.
Mr. Coleman’s jaw works. “Let’s get back to the lesson. Can anyone tell me your thoughts on the protagonist’s passage on page forty-three?”
Things are fine for the fraction of a second between the end of the question and Thea’s hand shooting in the air, flailing her arm with an eager tremor to answer. Then the irrational anger rises like a tide in a hurricane, flooding through my system.
“Yes?” Coleman calls on Thea.
“I think the passage means that it’s important to be true to yourself,” she answers softly, her arm still hanging in the air.
I suck in a sharp breath. To rub salt in my open wounds, all I smell is sugar because she sits in front of me.
Be true to yourself? Something I know she isn’t. The proof sits on my phone and that blog. Thea is full of secrets.
“Yes, Thea,” Coleman praises, flashing his gleaming white teeth in an energetic smile. His praise earns a laugh from her, the sound pleased at his attention. “Excellent.”
The pencil I choke in my grip breaks when I gouge it against the blank page in my notebook. I picture it’s Coleman’s face I’m stabbing. Bouncing my knee, I have to rein myself in before I grab Thea and drag her into my lap like I’m some deranged caveman. That’s not my style, but she drives me to madness.
If I have to sit through an entire class like this, I’m going to end up with another assault charge to cover up. Thea will probably be the one to call the police this time, just like her Mom. Yeah, fuck this. I explode from my seat.
Coleman drops the pretense and stares at me with contempt, like I’m a bug under his boot he wants to crush. Feeling’s mutual, asshole.
“Mr. Bishop,” he snaps coldly. “You’re disrupting—”
“Fuck off,” I bite back. “I’m out of here.”
“If you leave class, you’ll earn detention.”
Boo fucking hoo. I’ll have Devlin erase it, or I’ll do it myself with Dad’s access credentials. Tossing up my hands, I make my way to the door, kicking Thea’s bag out of the way. The door slams hard behind me, blanketing me in blissful silence.
It’s broken by Thea’s muffled squeak. I hear her through the door, like my stupid body is attuned to her. I stomp away from class, not interested in listening to her try to get class back on track.
She’s messing with my head too much. This isn’t good. If I can’t keep a level head, my strategizing flies out the window.
Thea was hiding everything under her wholesome homespun wrapping. The desire for her is twisting me up and clouding my judgement. She’s got an ass I want to take a fucking bite out of, luscious curves I could lose myself in, thighs I want to bury my head between and live there for eternity, and full tits I need in my hands or my mouth at all times. Like, damn. She is fine as fuck underneath those frumpy ass granny sweaters and her wallflower demeanor.
But behind it all, she’s as much of a liar as anyone else. Because she’s not really a wallflower, not with the way she challenges me. She’s not shy and wholesome when I can see how she looks at Coleman.
My jaw aches from how hard I clench my teeth. The back of my neck is boiling hot.
The door opens and closes behind me. I don’t turn around.
“Connor.” Thea has to shuffle double time to catch up to my long strides. Her breath is short. “Connor, wait!”
I whirl on her, eating up her startled yelp. “What are you doing here, little mouse? Shouldn’t you be in class like a good girl?”
The fear clears from her face, replaced by stubbornness. I hate that it excites me. That I’m anticipating her fight.
Want outweighs logic when it comes to her every time.
“I was worried. You didn’t seem okay back there, and I haven’t seen you since this morning when you walked past me without saying anything.” She takes a step closer and puts her hand on my arm tentatively, like I’m a wild animal that might bite her. Smart. I am wild and I will bite her. “Are you all right? Do you need—”
I grab her shoulders and push her back until she bumps into the lockers, caged by my body. “What I need?” A dark laugh escapes me and I lean in. “I need you to stop with this innocent act. You’re quite the vixen behind the nerdy exterior, huh?” I close the distance even more, leaving almost no room between us, growling, “I bet you think about being Coleman’s teacher’s pet, sitting on his desk with your legs spread for him. That make your pussy wet? You better not have fantasized about our teacher while you were my favorite little secret, and you damn well better not do it now. He can’t have you, little mouse. You’re all mine.”
This is insane. I know I’m acting crazy and possessive, but this is what she does to me. It’s impossible to control. I don’t understand why she throws me off my game when no other girl has ever gotten me this hung up before.
Does she know the effect she has on me? Is this on purpose? I’ve been so tangled up, I kept forgetting to remember the strong possibility of her playing me while I was focused on the board, planning my next five moves.
“Mr. Coleman?! W-what, I’m not—I wasn’t thinking—” She can babble all she wants. I don’t miss the way her pupils dilate. She claws at my shirt in her blustering protest. “Why do you always say the most depraved things when you’re jealous? Is your ego that fragile? I’m not even your real girlfriend, you territorial ass.”
Liar, liar, pants on fucking fire, Thea Kennedy.
I chuckle, the sound rough and dangerous. That damn sugar-sweet scent is intoxicating.
Thea looks at my lips. A growl rips from my throat and I crash our mouths together, kissing her hard. She lets out a surprised sound, then melts into me as my tongue swipes over her mouth. God, her taste. It’s better than I pictured. I release a tortured groan as she lets me in, kissing her deeper. My hands slide down her arms and I hold her waist, crushing her body to mine.
It’s so much better than what I imagined.
The kiss is hot and demanding. She’s a little clumsy at first, unfamiliar with the movements, but she kisses me back and that’s all that matters. I cup her face, tilting her head and her arms wrap around my neck.
I’m beyond screwed because Thea Kennedy is an ocean I would gladly drown myself in.
The anger bleeds away, lost to the oblivion of glossy pink lips. It’s never faded so fast before.
This calming effect she has on me pushes past every one of my defenses. It demands more of me than I’ve given anyone, even my closest friends.
A door slamming in the distance brings us back to reality. I don’t know how long we made out for, but I want more. She tastes sweeter than the sugary way she smells.
Thea pulls back, blinking up at me in a daze. It’s my new favorite look on her. My heart gives an odd squeeze.
Leaning against the lockers for s
upport, she touches her lips, stunned. “That was my first kiss.”
“Want a second?” I rasp. With a crooked grin, I move in again, touching her cheek.
Her small hand plants on my chest, stopping me. Her voice is quiet, but serious. “I can’t do pretend with my emotions. I won’t. Either I’m your pretend girlfriend and that’s it, or…” She shakes her head. “We’ll need to talk about the texting stuff, I guess. Maybe we can’t ignore it and forget it happened. Right now, I can’t trust you.”
Trust.
Is this real? A strange sensation in my chest quivers and expands. Hope? Thea might be genuine in what she says. The thought bowls me over, painting my defensive actions today in a different light.
Swallowing, I move back, letting her go. Thea sidesteps me. Instead of returning to class, she walks down the hallway, lost in her head.
Maybe she’s not trying to play me after all. Could she be as honest as she seems? The concept is foreign to me.
I watch her retreat, well aware of how fucked I am.
Sixteen
Connor
Wednesday. My least favorite day of the week. Not because of cutesy hump day memes; those are hilarious.
No, on Wednesdays I’m treated to pure torture. My weekly appointments with Doctor Levitt. Worse, a standing lunch with my parents follows, something Dad insists on so we can spend time as a family. Total bullshit. An ice spike to the skull would be less excruciating.
Appearances.
All part of our happy family show.
The only reason Mom makes a point of joining us is because it gives her a boost in numbers when her campaign photographer follows us around and her social media manager posts to her official profiles with an update of how important family time is to Vivian Bishop. I swear it’s her only motivation for anything she does. Damien waits in her back seat while we suffer through cardboard conversations.
Mom’s been all over my case because the dinner at the children’s hospital is this weekend. I still need to tell Thea.
But first, I need to smooth things over with her.
Yesterday surprised me. The kiss and Thea’s words didn’t leave my mind all night. At first I tried to go back to what I know, looking for the part where she pulled the curtain back. But it didn’t feel right. I didn’t want it to be.
I think this is what Doctor Levitt means about believing someone at their word. I only find that in her office, and even then it was a hard road to get to the point I wasn’t bucking against everything out of my therapist’s mouth. Therapy might be dull as shit, but some of it has stuck. It’s nice to have someone speak their mind. I allow few people past my guard where I can take them at face value.
If Thea is showing me I can believe what she says, maybe I should try something new: apologizing.
Idling outside her house in the morning, I drum my fingers on the back of the passenger seat, waiting for her and dreading that it’s a Wednesday.
What if she doesn’t want a ride? Should I give her space?
It’s not a concession I’d ever give anyone else. Things go my way, or they don’t at all. But with Thea, it’s different.
Once my anger faded, I was able to think clearer. I felt like a bastard because it wasn’t her fault. And there was no way she faked that kiss. I was wrong. She’s not playing me.
The kiss from yesterday repeats in my mind and I lick my lips. That wasn’t an act for me, either.
I just wanted her, my secret vixen.
She’s right about it. There’s no forgetting what we’ve done. I never wanted it to stop, but she can’t ignore what’s between us either.
No, we need to discuss this before the benefit dinner.
Thea seems surprised when she emerges from the house, darting a glance behind her before hurrying to the SUV and climbing in. Her cheeks are pink.
“Hi,” she says.
“Hey,” I respond, putting the car in gear.
The air goes stale for a few minutes while I navigate onto the main road out of our neighborhood.
Planning to talk and actually doing it? Two very different moods. I’m wasting precious minutes trying to start a conversation, not used to thinking how what I say can affect the girl I want to talk to instead of just laying it out like the law.
“Listen, I—” Clearing my throat, I squeeze the steering wheel. Come on, man, just spit it out. “I’m sorry for being angry. That wasn’t right or fair to you.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
She’s distracted by braiding her wild auburn curls. Sighing, I continue reluctantly.
Doctor Levitt always says once I’m calm, I need to express my anger. Even if I don’t want to be there, some things have stuck in my head.
“The thing is, I have trouble with my temper. You were right, I was jealous,” I admit. My stomach tightens. I haven’t told anyone other than Devlin about this. With a sidelong glance, I find Thea watching me. My throat bobs as I swallow. “I see a therapist. I have an appointment today. Every Wednesday.”
I leave out that it’s court-mandated therapy. It’s strange to give up one of my cards after spending so long hunting the ones that belong to others. I hold so many of hers between her secret blog and the nudes, it’s only fair to give her some of mine to prove I’m serious. I realize the tense set of my shoulders is because I’m bracing for Thea’s judgement, but it never comes.
After a long pause where she peers at me curiously, her hand rests on mine on the center console. “I’m glad you have someone to talk to about how you’re feeling.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t expect this. She just rolls with it, taking me at face value. She trusts that I’m being honest without question, even after I’ve tricked her multiple times. “So. I’m sorry for what I said and how I acted. You deserve better, so I’ll do my best.”
She hums and squeezes my hand. “If you ever want to talk about anything, you can tell me. I’ll listen if that’s what you need. We might not be a real couple, but I’m here.”
I don’t love the reminder this is all fake, by my own doing no less, but I’m glad we’re cool.
The acceptance feels so good, I’m out of it for the rest of the drive to school, my thoughts cleared and peaceful for the first time in I don’t know how long. Thea’s like a balm of warm light on my constantly shifting mind.
On my way to the office around mid-day, I curse, remembering an important thing I needed to tell Thea this morning. I got so caught up in sharing one of my own secrets with her, the benefit slipped my mind.
I thought we would have more time to ease into faking a relationship for the reporters and voters, but the event is this weekend. We’ve been wasting time with so much back and forth and fighting against the sexual connection distracting us.
I’m not supposed to text her, but I forgot to tell her this morning, too focused on apologizing. This is important and it can’t wait.
Don’t be too mad, sunshine.
Connor: Showtime this weekend. It’s a formal event. Do you have that covered, or do you need money to buy something?
It takes a long time before three dots appear.
Thea: Don’t think I don’t notice how you’re texting me. Your apology this morning doesn’t change your promise.
Connor: Yeah, well. Not much choice when you pull a disappearing act all day and I need to get a hold of you. Do you need to borrow my credit card or not?
Thea: Shopping spree on your dime? That’s big sugar daddy vibes. [laughing emoji]
My stomach dives off a cliff. Is she…flirting? She must not be that mad after all. Hope sparks to life in my chest.
Connor: You wanna be my sugar baby? Hell yes to those perks.
Thea: No! I don’t know why I said that. It was a JOKE!
She sends me an army of emojis, filling the screen with the monkey covering its eyes. My mouth quirks up. It’s cute when she embarrasses herself.
Connor: I’ll give you more details on the drive home.
Thea: Ok [peace sign emoji
]
A second later, she sends a selfie. She’s in the library with Maisy Landry, a pair of earbuds shared between them. They make goofy faces for the camera. I’m warm all over, staring at Thea in wonder.
Since our kiss, things feel like they’re clicking into place more easily.
The good mood Thea put me in evaporates as I walk into the administrative office. A scowl settles on my face while I wait outside Dad’s office. My hands are shoved in the pockets of my black slacks, my school blazer tied around the strap of my messenger bag. The office secretary I flirted with to get Devlin out of a pinch when he was in the student records room eyes me in disapproval.
Suck it, Debbie.
I’d much rather drive myself over to the appointment, but Dad has always insisted. His door opens a minute later, and he emerges, buttoning his boring blue suit jacket. Seriously, whoever he’s been seeing must have standards through the floor for Dad to jump right over their bar.
“Ready to go?” Dad asks.
I grunt, whirling to trudge from the hive of offices. Dad falls into step beside me. Outside, he clears his throat and I roll my eyes. Here it comes. The weekly lecture.
“Dad, save it. Come on.”
We reach his Escalade and get in. He starts the ignition and sighs.
“I’m serious. This isn’t like a few weeks ago when you stole the car for a prank.” He pats the wheel in indication.
Devlin and I had the idea for mischief after school. Getting back at both our dads was glorious, stealing the Escalade from his parking space and going for a joyride to Denver to crash a college party. Dad was pissed. It fucking rocked.
I snort, slouching back in the leather seat. “What did I do wrong now?”
Ruthless Bishop: Dark New Adult High School Bully Romance (Sinners and Saints Book 3) Page 13