by Layla Heart
How are they so calm?
But even as I look at each guy, I know that they’re not calm, they’re on edge, they’re just good at hiding it. They’re probably used to it, having to stay calm and in control when unexpected things happen. Being in charge, being the leader, the one people always look to for guidance, the Alpha.
I carefully lean on Spence as I take the heels off, immediately making me quite a lot shorter than the guys, and then I walk to the couches, dread taking hold in my stomach.
This is so not a conversation I wanted to have. This is a conversation I wasn’t planning on having, ever. I was supposed to stay out of the shifter society and now I’m plunged right into the middle of it, with four guys who by all appearances are some of the most desired Alphas in the area too... I went from a nobody to a somebody in a matter of moments.
The guys follow me and when I stop between the couches, too nervous to sit down, they spread out over them, in pairs, the way I know them. Zack and Spence, obviously used to ordering people around and a little younger than the other two Alphas, if not in age, then at least in how they act. And Max and Liam, more down to earth, more mature, not carrying their Alpha-ness as a weapon to subdue others around them.
As pairs, they’re totally different, but at the same time, they all make me feel the same. They make me feel like I don’t want to let them go, like I want to stay at their side, like I’ll be safe around them. Which is simply total bullshit. If I’d stayed away I’d have been much safer, being near them is what put me in this danger, what put us in this danger.
I just stare at the four Alphas, my four Alphas, if what just happened is anything to go by, my eyes constantly moving. But I don’t know where to start. I understand they want to know things, lots of things, but how to tell them... How to make them understand.
Liam leans forward, intense, but not angry, just... I don’t know... He’s hard to read right now, like he’s guarding part of himself. “So, you’re not human?” His voice is not accusing, it’s flat, like he’s asking a simple question, not something that will change everything once I answer it.
I shake my head. Nope, no matter how much I try, I can’t hide what I am, apparently. At least not around them.
He nods slowly, his eyes still on me. “You’re an Omega?”
I incline my head, breaking eye contact with him. It’s too intense, making my heart race and my whole body tremble.
Zack jerks his head up, anger in his gaze when I look at him, he nearly jumps up. “Why have you been decei—”
Spence pulls on his shoulder, crashing him back into the couch. “Accusations like that aren’t going to help.” His voice is sharp, but his eyes are kind when he meets mine. “Why?”
I want to make a snarky remark, the best defence is an offence, especially when I don’t know how else to respond, but the look in his eyes, the confusion, the sadness, stops me. Instead, my voice comes out tired, because I’m tired. I’m tired of this whole shifter world, of everything that has to do with it, of being so powerless in it. “Why do you think? I’m pretty sure the party we were just at should make it pretty clear as to why I wouldn’t want to broadcast my status. Why would I want to live like that? My life reduced to how rich the Alpha I’m mated to is and how many babies I can give him, how many Alpha offspring I can give him.” My voice turns harsh at the end, angry.
The guys are quiet for a while, until Max speaks up, his low voice warm, comforting, soothing. “How long have you been doing it? Hiding?”
I try to relax my shoulders, try to remember that they don’t know, try to remember that their questions aren’t asked in malice. “I’ve taken suppressants since I was old enough to, but the other stuff, hiding my scent, that’s since I started attending college.”
Liam moves, his attention fully on me. “Are your parents okay with it? Do they support this?”
I glare at him. How can they be so dense? “You think my... Hell no. Of course not. But this is my life, not theirs.” I turn around, taking a couple of deep breaths. It’s easier to think when I don’t look at them. I need to stay calm. I can’t lose my temper.
It’s not their fault that everything is falling apart. They’re just... They don’t know any better. “I only want to live my own life, make my own choices. I don’t want my whole life controlled by others. I don’t want my life to be at the whims of whoever is supposed to be my ‘keeper’, my ‘guardian’, my ‘babysitter’, at that time. I just want my own life.”
Zack doesn’t seem to accept my answer as he makes a dismissive sound. “What has pretending to be human to do with that? Of course, you can live your own life. Why wouldn’t you? It’s not like you’d be locked in a cage or something. What’s your issue with the shifter world?” He doesn’t so much sound confused as he sounds out of touch with the world outside of his own little Alpha bubble. Does he have any clue as to how most Omegas live? The constant pressure, the constant fear? The inability to make our own choices, especially for Omegas like me?
“Are you fucking kidding me? What are you, a kid?” Liam jumps up behind me and then there’s sounds of struggling.
I turn back and my mouth drops open. Spence is holding onto Zack, as Max is holding Liam back, both guys looking ready to punch the other in the face. They were about to fight, over me...
“Stop! Just! Stop!” Four heads snap my way, their eyes wide in surprise. “This is why I don’t want to live like this. This is why I just want a normal life, a human life. You were about to fight over a girl you barely know. How is that something I’d want? How am I supposed to like that? That you’d fight each other to death over me?”
After a bit of grumbling, the guys sit down again, though their grumbling seems to be more about me telling them off than about what I said.
“Can I ask?” Max looks at me. “What type are you?” He motions around. “I know that most of us here, and around this area and the city, are fairly uncommon to even rare types of shifters. So even if you’re not a very common shifter type, you should have been able to have a normal life here, even at college. But if you’ve been hiding yourself, it means you don’t feel safe here, which raises a few questions.”
I nod. “I... I don’t think I...” I take a deep breath, but I can’t let myself tell them. It still doesn’t feel safe, too many unknown factors. They might be my mates, or potential mates, or whatever, but that doesn’t mean they can’t turn me over to whoever would pay them the most for mating me... And that’s a danger I always have to keep in mind, no matter how kind they act now, that could all be an act.
Max nods carefully, standing up, thinking. “You know what. It doesn’t matter that much. And I think I’d like a strong drink for the next part of this conversation.” Then he walks off to a locked cabinet that’s near the kitchen.
Spence nods, his face thoughtful, while Zack stalks after Max. “Next part? What next part?”
“What do you think, kid?” Liam glares Zack’s way. “How short is your attention span? Why are all four of us, four Alphas, all sitting here, with just the one Omega? Have you already forgotten what happened at the party? What do you think the next part of this conversation is going to be? What matters more than Cyra being an Omega?”
That stops Zack, making him turn and stare at me, his eyes wide with an emotion I don’t know how to read. “The scent.”
“Yes, that.” Liam sighs and goes to a cupboard to my side as he grabs some glasses. “You too?” He eyes me as he holds up one of the glasses.
I nod. Getting drunk might not be a good idea, but I’m definitely going to need some liquid courage.
Liam puts five glasses on the low table between the couches as Max returns with a tray full of different types of strong liquor, which he puts next to the glasses.
Max looks me over as he nods, almost more to himself than to anyone in particular. “Let’s see if we can find you something more comfortable to wear. I’ve got spare clothes in the guest room, some should fit you. I think you’ll fee
l better in something that’s less... restrictive.”
I nod. The dress is okay for a few hours at a party, but I’m not up for wearing it during what I’m presuming is going to be a difficult and confrontational conversation, and a little time for myself is probably a good idea too.
I follow Max up the stairs. There are doors all along the hallway, I count five or six, none of them giving a clue as to what’s behind them. He walks me to the one on the far end, holding the door open for me.
“Check the dressers, there should be some clothes in your size in them.” He waits until I pass him before he turns to walk away.
I can’t stand him being kind to me like this, while I’ve been lying to him. And no matter how much I want to be alone, I also don’t want him to leave. “I’m sorry.” I look down, feeling like shit. I’m only making more and more trouble for him and he seems like a good guy, he doesn’t deserve my trouble.
Max reaches out, putting his fingers under my chin, turning my face to make me look up at him. There’s a sternness in his eyes, but also still a deep warmth. “Don’t apologise for protecting yourself. You’re right. You should be able to live your own life, nobody else should have a say about how you live it, not even us. Never apologise for doing what it takes to survive.” His eyes linger on my lips and his tongue darts out for a moment, wetting his lips, until he drags his eyes up to mine, steady and strong.
Then he spins around, breaking the spell, leaving me alone, and I stare after him. Hell.
I want him to turn around, I want to hug him, I want him to take me in his arms, I want to thank him for those words. But he just walked off like he wasn’t supposed to say those things, like what he was doing wasn’t right for some reason.
I don’t want to feel attached to him this strongly already. I have to keep reminding myself that, no matter if they show me kindness, they’re still Alphas. They’re Alphas and I’m an Omega. That means that they’re in charge. That means I’ll always have to obey them, always...
17
Max
When I reach the other Alphas again, they’re all staring at me, their eyes narrowing when they don’t see Cyra behind me.
“She’s changing into something else. I didn’t think it right to hover while she’s doing that. I’m not a creep like that. She’ll be right down.” I grab the bottle with rum and pour myself a sizable glass before sitting back on the couch.
Fucking hell. This was definitely not where I thought this evening was going to end up.
Cyra in my house? Maybe a glimmer of a dream, if everything went well. But Liam plus two other Alphas on my couches? Not anywhere near what I could even come up with as a bad joke, more akin to a nightmare.
The griffin, Spence, seems to be the most sensible of the two Alphas. He’s perceptive, though not entirely without impulsiveness. The hydra, Zack... I’d love to punch his face in and tell him to grow the fuck up. And with how things are going, that might still happen before the end of the evening.
Don’t they have any clue as to why Cyra might not want to share what she is? Don’t they have any idea what can happen to unmated Omegas, especially to rarer shifter type Omegas? It’s like they’re blind to what life’s like for those who aren’t them. They must have Omega family members, do they really not know what it’s like for them?
“Now, what?” Liam also pours himself a glass, going for the whisky instead, taking a sip before he speaks again. “We all reacted to her scent. One Omega, four Alphas. That’s impossible. I’ve never heard of that before.”
As he says it, I remember the scent that Cyra had, it was heady, making it hard to think. She smelled like scorched pine, like burning pine trees to celebrate the new year. It was warm and comfortable, making me want to disappear in it forever.
Alphas often react to the scent of Omegas, but only on a ‘hey, someone around here makes my instinct to procreate buzz’ level, it’s interesting but not very intense. What happened to us, the almost losing control over ourselves from only a sliver of a scent, our hostile reactions to each other, the protectiveness we feel of Cyra, that’s a sign of something deeper, something much much deeper. It’s the sign of a mating bond, a fated Alpha-Omega mating bond. It just usually doesn’t come with a multitude of Alphas at the same time...
“So what? What does it matter that we all reacted?” Zack shrugs, like he doesn’t care, but it’s not carefree enough, he’s a little too tense, an edge to his voice.
“You’re not curious why it happened?” Liam glances Zack’s way. And next time he tries to punch the hydra I might not stop him, the hydra definitely deserves it.
“Nah. Stuff like this happens all the time.” Zack leans back on the couch, spreading himself, trying on his best ‘I don’t care’ attitude, and it reads fake, very fake. He has no idea what to do, so he tries what usually works best for him, act like nothing ever gets to him.
“So, walk away. If you don’t care about this, you walk out of this house and leave Cyra with us.” Liam leans forward, his eyes calling Zack’s bluff, daring him.
“Pff. Why would I? Not with this booze here. You’ve got some good shit.” Zack moves his glass from side to side, pulling attention to it. Right. That’s all he’s worried about, the booze. Right. “I’m staying to watch the drama.”
Spence glances to the stairs, before looking at me. “What do you... What could... Did you...?” He seems to be taking this a little more seriously.
I shake my head. “I didn’t do anything. I just showed her where she could find clothes to wear. That’s all. I didn’t dare to leave you all unattended with this much booze around.” Of course, I wanted to find out more about her, but she looked way too scared, too fragile, to push her for answers. No matter how much I craved to take her in my arms, to hold her tight and never let her go, I knew that I shouldn’t. I can’t act like that if I want her to ever take me seriously. I can’t act like some Alphahole if I ever want her to trust me.
Zack pulls up his shoulders slightly, spreading himself onto the couch more, taking up more space for his massive ego. “What does it matter? She obviously has no interest in finding herself a mate, or to make any friends. Or she wouldn’t have hidden herself. Why does it matter what type of shifter she is? Wolf, tiger, bear. I don’t care. Not even if she’s some type of dragon or hydra. Like... None of that excuses what she does. None of that makes any sense. So what if she’s supposedly ‘special’? Why not learn to stand up for herself instead of taking the cowardly way out?”
I nearly lunge for him. I’ll kick him out of the house myself. I can deal with him being a shitty brat when it’s just him putting on a persona, but I don’t want him to talk about Cyra like that. Just as I’m about to move for him, I freeze on the spot when Cyra appears behind him, her eyes wide in fury. Uh, oh.
“You think I’m a coward?” Her voice is strained as she tries to keep her fury under control. “You think I’m a coward for wanting my own life?”
Zack nearly pours the glass with whisky over himself in surprise, managing to catch it right in time before he quickly lowers it. A flash of something like regret passes over his features, then anger flares up and he jumps up, spinning in Cyra’s direction as he makes himself broader and taller than he is, using his Alpha abilities. “Yes. You can still live your own life, even without putting your body full of chemicals. You just chose the easy way out.” He towers over her, but she doesn’t cower, at all. I don’t know if it’s because his Alpha power isn’t as strong while she’s taking meds, though even I can feel my body tense from it, or if she’s really good at resisting him, or maybe she’s just pissed off enough.
Her voice drops, an edge of danger to it, an edge of anger. “Do you remember the Omega who got taken a few years back? She went to college here, just like I did. She hadn’t taken her medication one morning, and, the same day, some Alpha’s family took her from the street and mated her to their Alpha son. That family didn’t care that their Alpha kid wasn’t the true mate of the Omega, they
only cared that the Omega was of a rare type. They only cared that their Alpha would mate, forcefully mate, a rare Omega. An Omega who’d been filled with horrid drugs just to make that happen, so that their body wouldn’t reject the Alpha. Do you think I want to live with that fear every day of my life? You think I want a life like that?”
Zack doesn’t look so sure anymore, but apparently can’t keep his mouth shut. “You think you’re that special? Not everyone is special like that Omega. Get over yourself. It rarely happens, you’re just blowing things out of proportion.” He turns his back to her, getting back to the couch, sitting down.
Cyra tenses, her eyes narrowing at him, at his back, as she balls her fists at her side. “No. I’m more special than that.” Her voice is cold, like ice, tightly controlled fury only a moment away from exploding. “I’m more special than all of you combined. You, a mighty hydra, you’re nothing. You don’t even make the bottom of the shortlist of ‘suitable’ mates for me, if my parents have a say. I’m a fucking phoenix.”
Zack stills, his face going pale, his eyes growing wide. While I enjoy seeing him getting put in his place, Cyra’s words take away any joy I could feel from it. Oh, no.
She takes a step so she’s right next to him, in his line of sight. “Is that what you wanted to hear?” She’s still angry, her voice tight. “That’s my big secret, that’s why I hide. I’m a fucking Omega phoenix. If people find out, they will hunt me from all over the continent, maybe from all over the world. Do you still think I’m hiding out of cowardice? I’m hiding out of self-preservation. Because nobody in the whole fucking world will care what happens to me, me as a person, if they can stick their fucking Alpha dick in me and get me pregnant. If they can turn me into their own private baby machine, giving them pretty half-phoenix babies.”