While Leah put Rebekah down for a nap, Jonathan went to hitch the horse and buggy so Leah could ride to the phone shanty. It was only a little over two miles away, but the windchill factor made it seem much colder than twenty-eight degrees and he didn’t think she should walk. Besides, when the two women had gone upstairs together after worship, Gabriel had taken Jonathan aside and asked him if he could be especially hospitable to Leah.
“She’s supposed to be our special guest and I know Esther feels baremlich that Leah has to take care of us instead of the other way around,” Gabriel explained.
Jonathan thought it was ridiculous for Esther to feel that way; it wasn’t as if they’d planned on getting sick. Gabriel’s request made him wonder if Leah was used to being waited on. But Jonathan recognized that Esther and Gabriel had done so much for him over the years, and the least he could do was make an extra effort for their friend.
So when he came inside to tell Leah the buggy was ready and waiting, he added, “When you return, there’s no need to stable the gaul. I’ll take care of him.”
“Really?” Her big brown eyes widened and she tipped her head to the side as if she couldn’t believe she’d heard correctly. “I’m used to doing that myself. You’ve already ventured out into the cold once. Why would you kumme out a second time if you don’t have to?”
Jonathan shrugged. “He’s temperamental. I don’t want you to have to put up with his whinnying.”
“Uh-oh. Speaking of whinnying, I think I hear Rebekah.” Leah cocked an ear toward the ceiling and pressed her hand on Jonathan’s forearm to silence him. They both stood there listening.
After a moment, he said, “I don’t hear anything but I’ll check. You go ahead to the phone shanty. Your gschwischderkind is waiting for your call.”
“Okay,” Leah said and gave his forearm a friendly squeeze before letting go. “Denki for being so helpful, Jonathan.”
Maybe it was the warmth of her touch or the way she said his name or the sincerity of her gratitude, but Jonathan felt as if something within him was beginning to thaw. And as he dashed upstairs to check on Rebekah, for the first time all winter his legs felt agile and his feet felt light.
* * *
On the way to the phone shanty, Leah dithered over how long to delay her departure. She knew the chartered minibuses routinely took two days to get to Florida; they’d stop about halfway there and the driver and passengers would spend the night in a hotel just over the South Carolina border. The exception was if they began their trip on a Saturday, in which case, they’d spend two nights at the hotel, as most Amish people considered it inappropriate to hire a driver to transport them on the Sabbath.
I guess that means the latest I can leave Fawn Crossing and still arrive in Florida this week is Friday, Leah realized. I’m sure Esther and Gabriel will feel a lot better by then.
Leah figured rescheduling her trip with the same transportation company wouldn’t be a problem, especially since she wouldn’t be meeting Betty in Pennsylvania now and could travel on one of the minibuses departing locally instead.
Unfortunately, she soon learned the only seats available were on a minibus leaving the following Monday. That was longer than she’d planned to stay, but since she had no other option, Leah regretfully rebooked her ticket and then phoned Betty to tell her the disappointing news.
“I’m disappointed, too, but Gott is using you for His purpose,” her cousin reminded her. “The ocean will still be there when you arrive next week.”
“That’s true,” Leah agreed with a sigh.
Yet as she traveled back to the house, she still felt let down and she had to remind herself that three weeks of vacation was more than what many Amish people got in a lifetime. At least I’ll be able to do a lot of reading while the baby is napping, she consoled herself.
But over the next few days, Leah barely seemed to have time to read the Bible for her morning devotions, much less to delve into one of the novels she’d brought from home. Either Rebekah was coming down with something, too, or she was out of sorts because she was separated from her mama, but she wouldn’t nap for longer than fifteen minutes at a stretch.
Furthermore, the baby wailed so much in the evenings, Leah usually gave in and brought Rebekah into bed with her, which meant instead of reading, Leah had to turn the light off early. It also meant she usually didn’t get a decent night’s rest. Not that she would have slept well anyway, as she frequently rose to tend to Gabriel’s and Esther’s needs throughout the night. But when she did lie down again, she was too conscious of Rebekah’s presence beside her to completely relax.
For the brief periods during the day when Rebekah actually did take a nap, Leah would use the opportunity to dash outside and hang laundry on the line. Gabriel and Esther were alternatingly experiencing chills and the sweats, so Leah sometimes changed their sheets three times in a single day. So much for not tromping across the snow to get to the clothesline, she thought wryly.
Between running up and down the stairs to look after Gabriel and Esther, minding the baby and keeping up with the housework, especially keeping all the doorknobs and bathroom surfaces sanitized, it seemed the last thing Leah would have wanted to do would be to cook for Jonathan. But because he took care of all the grocery shopping and errands, and he’d amuse Rebekah or set the table while Leah was preparing their food, mealtimes were a breeze compared to the rest of her day and she found herself looking forward to their time together.
“Denki, Gott, for this food and for giving us endurance. Please heal Gabriel and Esther quickly. Amen,” she prayed when they sat down to lunch on Thursday.
Maybe it was because she’d thanked the Lord for endurance or asked for a speedy recovery for her friends, but when Leah finished praying, Jonathan remarked, “This sure isn’t the vacation you bargained for, is it?”
“Neh, not exactly,” Leah answered truthfully as she heaped ham and pea casserole onto a plate and handed it to him. As usual, Rebekah was sitting on Jonathan’s lap and he kept having to elongate his neck or hold her hand down so she wouldn’t grab his glasses. Leah didn’t know where he got his patience; she would have either removed her glasses or set the baby in her high chair by now. Then she added half-facetiously, “But it could be worse—I could be sick.”
“What were you looking forward to doing most when you got to Florida, besides reading?”
“Going to the beach,” Leah answered without a moment’s hesitation. “And going bike riding and learning to play shuffleboard. But mostly I was looking forward to not being responsible for anyone other than myself for a while. To just getting away and being alone.”
As soon as she saw Jonathan’s crumpled expression, Leah regretted her words. “I—I didn’t mean that like it sounded,” she said.
* * *
“No need to apologize.” Jonathan abruptly stood and tried to set Rebekah into her high chair, but she stiffened her back and legs, so he pushed her into Leah’s arms instead. “And as I told you, there’s no need for you to cook for me, either.”
Then he grabbed his hat and coat from the mudroom and strode out of the house without even putting them on.
For the past four days, Jonathan had done his best to support Leah however he could. He’d gone grocery shopping and to the pharmacy—even returning to the store a second time because Leah had forgotten to add diapers to the list she gave him. He’d assumed all the care of the animals and he tried to be helpful in the kitchen and to take Rebekah off Leah’s hands whenever he could, too. He’d even set his alarm clock so he’d wake every three hours to check on the woodstove so Leah could sleep through the night without getting up to stoke the fire. And he’d done all this while keeping up with his—and Gabriel’s—winter responsibilities on the farm. But apparently, that wasn’t enough: Leah still felt overworked. The only thing she was grateful for was that she wasn’t sick.
Maybe I’m not
the one who’s lazy—maybe she is, he thought as he opened the door to his little house and began unlacing his boots. She’s self-centered, as well. “Getting away and being alone”—that’s something the Englisch would say.
But deep down, Jonathan knew laziness wasn’t the issue; he could see Leah was working as hard as she could to tend to his brother and sister-in-law and the baby, without falling behind on the rest of the household chores. And the truth was, Jonathan had been happy to help her. But that was just it—for the first time in months, he’d felt a burst of motivation. For some reason, knowing he’d be helping Leah filled him with a sense of anticipation and for the past three mornings, he was actually eager to get out of bed and begin a new day. But instead of appreciating Jonathan’s efforts, Leah just couldn’t wait to be alone. Which in turn made him feel like a big sap for feeling so enthusiastic about being around her.
If she’s so eager to get away from me, fine, I’ll keep as much distance between the two of us as I can, he decided. And then, his oomph utterly drained, he went into his bedroom, pulled the shades down and burrowed beneath his quilts for a long afternoon nap. It was as close to hibernating as he could get, and he didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of doing it a long time ago.
Chapter Three
After Jonathan stormed out of the house, Leah felt like crying, but Rebekah beat her to it. And as the baby cried, she kicked her feet out and sent Leah’s plate of casserole skidding across the table and onto the floor. The dish didn’t break but it clattered loudly, which made Leah flinch and Rebekah howl even louder.
“Shh-shh, sweetheart,” Leah shushed her as she paced the floor. “I know you’re upset. You miss your mamm and daed and now mean old Leah has chased away your onkel, too, hasn’t she? But don’t worry, he’ll be back.”
The baby sobbed even louder, as if in doubt. Leah kept jostling her the way she’d seen Jonathan do until finally Rebekah quieted, and a few minutes after that, she was asleep. Leah knew the child was overly tired, so she tiptoed upstairs and gingerly laid her in her crib.
She was creeping back down the hall when she heard Esther feebly calling her name. Leah entered the darkened room. Gabriel must have been in the bathroom because his side of the bed was empty and Esther was struggling to prop herself up on her elbows.
“What is it?” Leah asked. “Do you need help getting to the bathroom?”
“Neh. I thought I heard something crash downstairs. Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine,” Leah said. At least, it would be fine, once she explained herself to Jonathan. “Lie back down.”
“I miss Rebekah so much,” Esther moaned, sinking into her pillow. “I wish I could hold her but even if I’m not contagious any longer, I’d be afraid I’d drop her. I’m still so weak. Even the bones in my fingers ache.”
Leah placed a palm to her forehead. “Mmm. You’re still running a fever. If you and Gabriel don’t improve by tomorrow, I think we might need to take you to the dokder.”
“We have a nurse practitioner—she cares for almost all the Amish in Fawn Crossing. She’ll kumme to the haus.” Esther mumbled something else that was unintelligible but before Leah could get her to repeat herself, she was dozing again.
Seizing the opportunity while everyone was asleep to go talk to Jonathan, Leah scurried downstairs. She headed straight for the mudroom to don her coat and winter bonnet, but when she got to the kitchen, she spotted the overturned plate on the floor. Since she was hoping to persuade Jonathan to come back and eat lunch with her, she decided she’d better clean up the mess Rebekah had made before he got there.
She had barely wiped up the congealed mound of noodles and peas when she heard the familiar sound of the baby whimpering upstairs. Oh well, maybe Jonathan will get hungerich and kumme back soon on his own. While Leah regretted having misspoken at lunch, she had too much to do to waste any time worrying about a grown man’s appetite—or his moodiness. One more reason I’m hallich I never got married, she thought.
But Jonathan didn’t return to finish his lunch, nor did he show up for supper, which was actually just reheated casserole, since Rebekah hadn’t permitted Leah to put her down for long enough to make a fresh meal. The baby was clingy during supper, too. After a few minutes of attempting to eat her meal with Rebekah on her knee, Leah gave up, not because it wasn’t possible, but because it wasn’t pleasant.
“Your onkel spoils you by holding you all the time, do you know that?”
“Buh-buh-buh,” Rebekah answered, waving her spoon as if she were admonishing Leah for speaking poorly of Jonathan.
Leah glanced out the window. Jonathan had to feel famished by now; was he really so offended he wasn’t going to come over at all? She couldn’t let that happen; Esther would be upset if she found out there was a rift between the two of them.
“I guess we’ll just have to go get him and drag him over here ourselves,” she informed Rebekah.
Leah put her coat and hat on first and then bundled the baby up in several layers before trudging across the yard. It was only a little past five o’clock so it was still fairly light outside, and Rebekah was all eyes as she beheld the sky and snow and trees. It occurred to Leah she might sleep better—they both might sleep better—if they went for a short walk outside each day. Maybe during a break from his chores around the farm, Jonathan will stay inside the haus in case Gabriel or Esther needs something and Rebekah and I can circle the yard a couple of times.
She knocked on Jonathan’s door with one hand and balanced Rebekah in the other. There was no answer, so she pounded harder, which Rebekah seemed to think was a game and she made emphatic squeaking sounds.
When Jonathan opened the door, his hair was disheveled and he wasn’t wearing his glasses, which made him look less scholarly and more rugged. He squinted at Rebekah, but addressed Leah. “I thought I heard the bobbel. Is something wrong?”
“Neh. I’ve kumme to tell you I’ve got supper on the table up at the haus. And I wanted to explain what—”
Shaking his head, Jonathan cut her off, “I’m not hungerich. I don’t want any supper.”
Leah felt stung; wasn’t he even going to give her the opportunity to tell him what she’d meant earlier? She shot back, “Well, I am hungerich and I do want supper. But I can’t manage to take more than two bites because your niece wants someone to hold her at the table. And since you’re the one who formed that unfortunate habit with her, you can hold her while I eat.” She thrust the baby into Jonathan’s arms. “Whether you hold her here or at the haus is up to you.”
She twirled around and started back across the yard, her face burning both from the cold air and her hot temper. Before she’d made it halfway back to the house, she heard Jonathan’s footsteps crunching in the icy snow behind her.
She stopped and turned. He wasn’t wearing a coat and his boots were unlaced; if he wasn’t careful, he’d slip. Since it was useless to try to take Rebekah from his arms, she didn’t offer. Instead, she slowed her pace as she wordlessly led the way to the porch. Once inside, Jonathan unwrapped Rebekah’s many layers while Leah poured milk and served them both casserole. This time, he didn’t refuse.
After saying grace, she calmly told him she hadn’t meant what she’d said about wanting to get away and be alone the way it came across. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I only meant that’s why I originally wanted to go on vacation to Pinecraft. It has nothing to do with how I feel about being here or being around Esther, Gabriel, Rebekah and you.”
“It’s fine.” Jonathan gave a half shrug as if it didn’t really matter anymore. Or maybe as if he didn’t quite believe her.
Leah was on the brink of tears. “I’m not as selfish as some people seem to think I am,” she muttered.
“I never said you were selfish,” Jonathan replied.
“That’s not the same thing as not thinking I’m selfish.” Leah poked at the casserol
e on her plate. The reheated egg noodles were gummy in the middle and hard around the edges, one more thing she’d messed up today. A tear slipped from her eye and she wiped it away with her napkin. She was utterly exhausted and at that moment, she felt like she’d sacrifice her trip to Florida if she could just go home where she could sleep without a bobbel in her bed.
Jonathan shifted Rebekah to his other knee and fed her a spoonful of pureed carrots, which she pushed out of her mouth with her tongue, dribbling them down her chin. Jonathan, whose blue eyes were focused on Leah, was oblivious.
“I don’t think you’re selfish, either. I’ve seen how tirelessly you’ve been nurturing Rebekah—and Esther and Gabriel, too. And I understand what you meant now. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I was just hurt because...because I was hallich to be helping you. I thought we made a gut team.”
“Are you kidding me? We make a terrific team. If it weren’t for you, I’d be completely overwhelmed, Jonathan. I’ve never had as much help with domestic chores or childcare from a man before. It’s made me realize how much my bruder gets away with not doing with at home.”
“Really?” He offered Rebekah more carrots but she grabbed the spoon, flinging orange mushy liquid everywhere.
“Jah, I can’t recall him ever changing the bobblins’ windle, much less setting the table, even when Catherine and I have both been ill,” she said.
“Neh. I mean...” Jonathan was blushing. “I mean, do you really think we make a terrific team?”
“Jah.” As she confirmed what she’d said earlier, Leah realized how intensely grateful she was for Jonathan. But there was more to it than that and she earnestly told him, “Not only do I need your help, but I enjoy your company. Eating meals with you is the best part of my day.”
“It is?” Jonathan sounded surprised, which made Leah wonder if she’d been coming across as more cantankerous than she really felt.
An Amish Winter (Love Inspired) Page 12