by Nora Nolan
SO HE'S from Big Rock. I've heard that name. My brothers were talking about it. Shit. What were they saying about it?
"Why aren't you married?"
"Haven't found the right woman, I guess. I'd like to get married and have kids. There aren't many single women in Big Rock, though."
Evie had a fleeting and fanciful thought of marrying Aaron and bearing his children.
"Evie, you mentioned you wanted to go to Laramie and maybe on to Cheyenne. You said you think you have an aunt there?"
Careful. Don't say too much. "Well, I have an aunt. She's my mother's sister. The last letter we had from her, she was in Laramie and was thinking about moving to Cheyenne to be near a friend. But that was about nine or ten years ago, so there's really no way to tell where she is now. She might even be dead; I don't know."
"Maybe you should head back to Big Rock with me and take the stage to Rawlins, where you can get on the Union Pacific to Laramie."
"Well, only one problem with that. I don't have any money to buy the tickets."
He straightened up a bit to look closely at her. "You took off without any money at all?"
"Yes. My brothers never gave me any. I've never had any. I can catch enough to eat."
"Maybe you could get a job in Big Rock and earn enough for a ticket."
"I have never had a job. What could I do?"
"I bet Mary at the restaurant could use some help. Can you sew?"
"I can sew on a button. Mend a tear. Ma taught me how to do little things like that when she was alive, but I never learned how to make anything like a dress."
"There's a dressmaker in town. She might be able to teach you and use some help; I don't know. Sometimes the general store hires people part time to help out. You could probably clean and take in washing, but that probably wouldn't be very much fun."
"I don't mind about that. Hard work doesn't bother me. I could do all those things. I'd still need some place to stay, though. I probably wouldn't make enough to cover a hotel or anything like that." She looked dejected as she said that last part. "Could I stay with you?"
"It would be fine with me, but other folks wouldn't think it's proper for an unmarried woman to stay with me."
"Well, what difference does it make what people think? We'd know better."
"I'm a deputy sheriff, Evie. I work for the county. If the town thinks it's improper, I could lose my job."
"Well, that's a crock of shit." Uh oh. Her eyes got huge.
He grinned at her. "Oh, Evie girl. You know what that means. As soon as lunch is over, you know what's going to happen."
"No. Not this time. It's a stupid game."
"My house, my rules. It must be working, though. You realized just as soon as you'd said it, didn't you? Before long, you'll think about it before you speak. That's the goal."
Her shoulders drooped, and he laughed again. "Consequences, girl. These are what you call consequences. Don't worry." He flashed a wicked grin with a twinkle in his eye that made her feel funny inside. "I'll try not to make it bad. But I will try to make it memorable." He winked, and she wasn't sure what to think.
They finished eating, and she poured some of the heated water into the washtub. He set the lid to the cast iron skillet on top of it and slid it to the back of the stove. It didn't need to be washed; they might reuse the lard tonight. She washed the dishes and dawdled quite a bit doing it. He was amused at her delaying tactics.
When there was nothing left to clean, she wrung her hands a little bit. "I need to go behind the cabin again."
"Sure, sure, no problem. It's starting to rain harder; be sure to put on that slicker."
She did. She tried to take a long time, but she knew she couldn't draw it out indefinitely. I know it's mostly a game. It won't hurt, but what if it affects me like it did this morning? I can't let him know what his touch does to me! Maybe it won't this time. Right, fat chance. Maybe I can laugh it off. Maybe I can still persuade him we don't have to do this. If I go in there and pitch a fit and say I won't play anymore, I'll look like a brat, since I let him do it this morning. I can't do that. She took a deep breath and walked back in the cabin.
She took off the rain slicker and hung it on the hook by the door then removed her boots and put them beside the door.
He was sitting on the cot. "You know, we might as well think of this as the real thing. Tell me why you deserve this."
She rolled her eyes a little bit. "I can't control my cussing, and ladies don't talk like that."
"Good girl. All right. Over my knees, then. That's it."
She settled in at an angle where her face and shoulders were on the cot. He lifted up her shirt. She caught her breath as he rubbed her. This morning, he had applied the licks before he rubbed. That feels so good. I wish he'd just keep doing that. She was already getting that mushy feeling down there again.
"How many do you think you need?"
"Well, I'd say none. Shall I go ahead and get up?"
He laughed. "Sounds like I need to run this show. You clearly don't quite have a handle on the situation." She laughed, too, but nervously.
"Don't you want to get on with it? I'd like for it to be over, please."
"You mean this isn't fun for you?" That made her laugh a little bit, just at the silliness of the situation.
"Well, let's see. I'm over the knee of a man who has ready access to my bare backside and I have no control over the matter. Would that be fun for you?"
"I'm six foot four inches tall and weigh about two hundred fifty pounds. I don't think there are many men out there who'd be able to get me over their knee. They wouldn't live to tell of it, anyway." He chuckled.
"You know what I mean!"
"Yes, I do. But I surely do enjoy this view."
"Aaron!"
"Do you really object? Last night, I had to practically beg you to put on clothes."
"Yes, but I was standing up."
He laughed. "That makes a difference?"
"Well, it feels like it does! Now, you're, I don't know, up close. Last night, you weren't touching me. It feels a lot more… I'm not sure of the right word. I guess, more personal. More intimate. And last night, I had a knife in my hand!"
"Do you want your knife now?"
She managed to laugh at that. "Not really. I know we're only playing."
HE RUBBED his hand over her cheeks again. What the hell are you doing, Aaron? She's not your plaything. You're taking liberties here and you know it. What if someone did this to your sister, if you had one? She's going to be leaving in a day or two. Do you plan to sully her then let her go? He removed his hand.
He helped her get back up. "I'm sorry, Evie. It wasn't my plan to make you feel ill at ease. I shouldn't have made up this little game. We've been talking about ladylike behavior, but I wasn't being very gentlemanly. I am sorry for making you uncomfortable, and I'm sorry for my own behavior. I won't take advantage of our situation again, I promise."
EVIE DIDN'T KNOW EXACTLY what to say. She was both relieved and disappointed. She was relieved because she didn't know how she was supposed to act, or react. She'd been around men all her life, but being around brothers doesn't help you know how to act around other men. Aaron was a real man, not a shiftless specimen like all her brothers. She not only didn't know how to act around men in general, but she was at a total loss as to how to act around someone like Aaron, specifically. He seemed larger than life, able to take care of anyone or anything, and he seemed at ease with himself, sure of himself. He didn't strike her as someone who had to prove anything. He had a sense of humor about himself, and she liked that. She liked his company. She liked the way he made her feel—womanly. Matter of fact, she liked everything she knew about him so far, except for that deputy sheriff part. He could cause her trouble. But I sure do like it when he touches me.
"There's no need to apologize," she said, smiling almost sadly. "I know it was all in fun."
"All right, good. Listen, I think I'll go check on the traps. T
hen I'm coming back in for a nap. That's the best thing to do on a rainy afternoon like this."
He put on the slicker and slipped out the door.
I'd rather be over his knee again. Or in his arms. Or under him. Or napping next to him. Get hold of yourself, Evelina. You'll be gone in a day or two, and then you'll never see him again. He'll only be a memory. He wouldn't want you anyway. You'll never be the kind of lady he'd find attractive. You'd never be more than a dalliance to a man like Aaron. It's best not to get close. As soon as the rain's over, head on out before you get in over your head and make yourself miserable.
AARON CHECKED the traps and found another rabbit. That surprised him since rabbits don't eat fish or meat. The fish head was undisturbed; maybe it had just been curious. I guess curiosity doesn't just kill cats.
He pulled out his knife from its sheath, skinned the rabbit and cut it up before washing and taking it inside. "We've got supper," he said, smiling.
"Great! Which would you like best—fried rabbit or rabbit stew again?"
"If you're cooking, I'll let you pick."
"Fried it is, since we had boiled stew last night."
"Sounds delicious. Almost wish I was hungry now. But since we just ate and it's still raining, I think I'll nap," he said.
"Take the cot this time. It's pretty comfortable."
He considered. "Well, all right, don't mind if I do. Are you going to nap, too? It's the absolute best thing to do on a rainy afternoon, you know. Well, almost the best." He grinned.
"I brought a book with me. Actually, it was my mother's book. My Aunt Sylvia gave it to her. It's my favorite one. I may read it. That's another good thing to do on a rainy day."
"I guess it is, but what I was thinking about is more fun." He gave a throaty laugh that made her melt a little. Evie realized he was probably thinking of her, of doing those things with her. How she wanted him to do those things with her!
He took off his boots and shirt but stopped short of taking off his britches. He knew he should probably leave those on. He lay down on the cot on his back with the rolled-up quilt under his head. He clasped his hands under his head for more of a pillow and closed his eyes. She sat on one of the tree trunk stools at the table where she could surreptitiously watch him over the top of the book if she wished. She began to read from her book, a collection of poems by various poets, trying hard to concentrate on the words. Nearly every line of every poem she tried to read took on new meaning for her. She tried to read but found she'd rather look at him. He had dark chest hair starting below the base of his throat, covering his upper chest before narrowing with a concentration of growth in a thinner dark line that trailed down the contours of his body until it disappeared under his britches. Oh! Those contours. She'd seen all of her brothers without shirts on, even her father, but none of them looked anything like Aaron. His chest was thick with muscles and she could see them clearly outlined. Evie wanted to run her fingers over each rise and valley and spread her fingers through his chest hair. She wanted to trace that line that ran down the center of him, below his navel, and see what his hair looked like down there. His muscled arms splayed out across the cot, bulging with strength that was only suggested when he wore a shirt. I want those arms around me, touching me, holding me.
She looked at his face. His eyes were closed now, so she could appreciate his long, dark lashes. Most women would be jealous of those lashes. He hadn't shaved in four or five days, and the dark stubble suited him. It gave him a very masculine look, and she imagined what he looked like clean-shaven. He would still look every bit as masculine, she was sure. His thick hair was below his ears, right around collar length. It had an unkempt appearance right now, and she liked it. His lips were full on a mouth that opened into a nice, wide smile. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him. The way the love poems in her book mentioned kissing and lovemaking made her think she knew what it would be like, and she wanted to feel it herself—with Aaron.
"Instead of looking at me, why don't you read to me from your book?" he drawled.
Caught. "How did you know I was looking at you?" She fumbled with the book in her hands.
He turned on his side and grinned at her. "I didn't, for sure. It was just a guess. It's what I would have done."
She felt herself color down to her chest.
"Tell you what. Bring your book and come lie down with me. I promise I'll be on my best behavior. There's room enough for you." He patted the empty space on the cot directly in front of him, inviting her to lie down. "Come on. We could both use a nap, and that rain can lull us to sleep."
She wavered then realized he was right. She just got through telling herself how much she wanted his touch, and more. So why not lie down next to him? She'd be leaving in a couple of days. Did she want these memories or not? He said he'd be on his best behavior. Do I really want him to be on his best behavior?
She tried to be nonchalant as she stood up and took the few steps over to the cot. She didn't want to let on that she thought this was a big deal. She leaned down and assumed the space in front of him so that they were spooning.
"Will you read to me now?"
"Do you have any favorite poems? Favorite poets?"
"Wow, it's been a long time since school. I think I remember liking some poems, but I don't remember who the poets are. Here, tell you what. Fan the pages and I'll stop it, then read the one on that page. How about that?"
She chuckled. "Well, that's an interesting way to choose a poem. Are you ready?"
"Yes." She started fanning the pages until he stuck in his finger and blindly pointed at a page.
"You landed on Percy Bysshe Shelley's Love's Philosophy.
'THE FOUNTAINS MINGLE with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of heaven mix forever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?
See the mountains kiss high heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?'"
IN THE SILENCE that followed her reading, Aaron reached up and pulled her short hair away to reveal her neck and gently kissed it. He was so near, she felt his breath on her neck as he whispered, "Oh, Evie, maybe we should forget the poetry for now and just nap."
"All right." She hoped he couldn't feel the beat of her heart or the heat he had created in her. He kissed me. Why did he want to stop at that one innocent kiss? Maybe he didn't want to get carried away. It's probably for the best, since I am leaving in a day or two. But it felt so good, and his breath on my skin felt so hot and made me tingly all over. What if he had wanted to do more? Would I have been able to stop him? Would I have wanted to stop him?
THEY BOTH LAY there quietly lost in their own thoughts over that sweet kiss. The soothing sound of the rain induced a drowsiness that finally soothed them to sleep. When Aaron awoke a couple of hours later, he found his arm wrapped over her side, resting just under her breasts, and his leg slung over one of hers. Her neck, where he'd kissed it, was right there, just begging to be kissed again. Sweet Lord, I can't do this. I want her. I want her to go home with me. I want her to marry me. I want her to be mine, only mine. You idiot! There's no way she can feel the same way in so short a time. What's wrong with you? She already said she's leaving soon. She doesn't want you. The only reason she's not pitching a fit is because she needs a roof for a few days. Get over it. Get over her.
HE NEEDED TO RELIEVE HIMSELF, so he roused her enough to crawl over her out of the cot. She stretched and yawned and realized where his arm and leg had been. It made her smile to herself, knowing he'd been touching her in su
ch an intimate way.
The rain had slacked off quite a bit and was down to barely a sprinkle, although it was still cloudy. She put on her boots and stepped out on the porch under the roof. Aaron had let Big Boy loose to graze, and she watched him for a while until Aaron came back around the corner. He smiled brightly at her as though nothing had happened and she wondered if they would discuss the kiss.
"Want to go check the traps?"
"Sure," she said as she headed off toward the one on land. She got close enough to see that it hadn't sprung and turned back around to go check the one at the water with him. Sure enough, they had snared another fish. They both laughed as though neither had caught a fish before.
"All right, I cleaned the rabbit and you said you'd cook it. Want me to clean the fish again and let you cook it, too? Or would you like to clean it?"
"Well, it wouldn't make sense for you to cook one and me the other one for the same meal, so how about you clean both and I'll cook both?"
He grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that. Any leftovers can be breakfast." He took the fish over to the same place where he'd cleaned the other fish, while Evie turned over some logs to find another worm to reset the snare.
Evie decided to bathe again. She went inside, sliced off some soap from the big bar and grabbed some towels. Outside, she shucked her shirt—his shirt—and waded into the deepest part of the stream, away from the snare. She sank down into the water and let it refresh her. She let herself float and went about fifty yards downstream before turning to swim back to the spot closest to the cabin. It felt so good to float freely that she did it again. There was something very freeing in allowing the water to take control. This time, when she got back, she found Aaron on the bank waiting for her.
"WHAT THE HELL? I came down here to wash the blood and fish guts off my hands, and I find you floating away. I was just about to jump in and save you when you turned around."
"I was just enjoying a swim before I got down to bathing. The water's cool, but it feels warm after you've been in for a while. Why don't you join me?"