by Raine Miller
“You already have one.”
I shook my head.
“You’re wearing it in your locket.”
“It’s only a baby picture. The only one I have of me as a baby.” I bit my lower lip.
“You never took the picture out of the locket, then. Behind your baby picture is one of your mother. I should know. I put it there.”
I opened the locket and pulled out the picture. Another picture sat behind it, stuck to the other, and I had to gently pry them apart to keep from damaging them. She’s beautiful. I look like her. She had soft brown eyes, only they were a little darker than mine. Her dark hair was piled atop her head in a messy bun. Fine wisps framed her face, a reflection of my own. I blinked to keep the tears that stung my eyes from falling and smiled at Rue.
“Thank you. This means a lot to me.”
She smiled and reached across the table to pat my hand. “She couldn’t wait to meet you. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you.”
“It’s not your fault that you couldn’t find me. When you’re in the system it’s not like a caseworker is going to give someone who’s not family information, and then my records were sealed when the Ellis family adopted me. What about my father? Did you know him?”
“He loved Sara. They were just crazy about each other. But he got a football scholarship. She would have followed him. And she always had smarts, the kind in books and the kind that can’t be taught. It wouldn’t have mattered where she ended up. After she died, he didn’t think he could raise a baby by himself, even when I promised him I would be there for you both. He felt it would be better if you were adopted.”
“What about my father’s parents?”
“I believe his mother died of a brain aneurysm. So it was just him and his dad. His father worked the graveyard shift.”
I shook my head. “But no one adopted me when I was a baby. Not with the RSV and the heart murmur. I grew out of the murmur, but by then I was too old. The Ellis family adopted me when I was sixteen. They’re good to me. I was too old to start going around calling someone Mom, but she never cared about that.”
“I’m glad for that. I’m so sorry I couldn’t take you in. I wanted to. Believe me I did.” Tears shimmered in Rue’s eyes and I knew she meant every word. “Promise me that you’ll let me get to know you. I always wanted a daughter. My ex-husband and I tried everything, but it wasn’t meant to be.”
It warmed my heart that she wanted to know me. I wanted that too and liked her immediately. I knew that I could trust her. I’d just met her but somehow I knew that she was being completely straight with me. Rue seemed to be the most open and unpretentious person I’d ever met.
“I will. I promise. I guess you’re the closest thing I have to family unless I try to find my grandmother. I haven’t decided whether I want to.”
“If you want to meet her, I’ll take you.”
“Thank you. Let me think about it, okay? There’s so much going on right now that I don’t know if it’s the right time. Or even if she would want to see me.”
Rue nodded. “I understand.”
I pulled a pen and a random receipt from my army satchel. Scribbling my phone number on the back of the receipt, I pushed the slip across the table. “Here. It’s my cell number.”
She pulled out a business card with an image of a triple moon—waxing moon, full moon in the middle, and a waning moon on the other side—handing it to me. I placed the business card in an inside pocket lining my satchel for safekeeping.
“I have to go. I have some errands to run.”
“You stop in any time you want and come see me. I’m here all the time.”
I smiled. “Okay, thanks.” Pushing the strands of beads to the side to leave, a sudden thought occurred to me, and I looked back over my shoulder at Rue. “What was your premonition?”
Her smile faded and she pulled a card from the tarot deck, holding it out in front of her. A skeletal black knight rode a white horse while holding a banner of a black flag with a white rose. In front of the horse a bishop paid him homage, and men, women, and children appeared below the horseman. In the background of the card a rising sun was guarded by two pillars in front of the River Styx and a boat floated on the brackish water. The color gray stood neutral in the background of the card. As if a constant reminder of the impartiality of death rising to meet us all needed further clarity.
“You died,” Rue said.
CHAPTER 15
I wasn’t sure how long I sat in the BMW watching the rain sliding down my windshield. Rue’s premonition unsettled me, and even though I wasn’t one for panic attacks, I wanted to be back at the loft with Arie. My cell phone jerked me out of my alarming thoughts. Finding my phone buried in my satchel, I slid the touchscreen to accept the call.
“Hello.”
“Hello, pet.”
“Tessa?”
“Of course.”
“How did you get my number?”
“Oh, don’t be silly. Arie gave it to me. Anyway, I think I have a solution to our vamp slut problem.”
“You mean Katarina.”
“Yes, that’s precisely what I said. Are you daft, dear?”
I sighed. “What do you want, Tessa?”
“I want to make you a princess.”
“Excuse me.”
“I’m making you part of the royal court for our Kindred Spirits of Darkness Gala. I want you there and I want to put a spotlight on you.”
“Why?”
“I’m sure she won’t be able to resist making an appearance at the gala. She always did like a good party. If I draw attention to you, it will draw her out of the crowd.”
“So you want to use me as bait. What if it kills me?”
“Well, that’s a definite consideration.”
“Have you talked to Arie about this?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, of course not. But Victoria works for me, knows her place, and uses discretion. She will remain by your side that evening. In the meantime you can help her organize the details. You did say you wanted a job.”
I sighed. “Do you really think this is the only way?”
“I think it’s a good way to get results before this leaps from the tabloids to the six o’clock news.”
The thought of dying scared me. But she was right. This had to end or their world would be discovered. I didn’t want to think about what would happen to Arie, Victoria, and Tessa if the whole world knew about vampires, and not just their patrons at the sex club or the high-ranking officials that kept it under wraps. “Yeah, okay, fine.”
“Good. And one more thing.”
“What?”
“You’ll need a dress, and one that’s nothing less than spectacular. I can help you.”
“No thanks. I think I just found a solution to that,” I said, looking at the sign above Rue’s shop.
“Fine. Suit yourself—just make sure it’s appropriate for the occasion. Then meet me over at the club when you’re done.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to stick you on a billboard advertising the gala. I need you for a photo shoot.”
“Yeah, I get it—I’m bait.”
“Precisely. Can you be here in an hour?”
“Yeah, sure. But are you sure you can pull a photo shoot together that fast?”
“Oh, I’m sure. Just be here in an hour.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll be there as soon as–”
A resounding click in my ear ended the call and I threw my cell phone on the passenger seat. With all the Gothic clothing in Rue’s thrift store, I figured she would have something to get me through the night without costing me a small fortune. Besides, Tessa reminded me of an evil queen, capable of inflicting great damage, and the godmother is supposed to procure the dress.
I never had much faith, but if I did I thought the powers that be must have a mighty fine sense of humor. Or maybe heaven was an equal-opportunity employer with a few stupid angels working bankers’ hours and taking one
too many smoke breaks. The absurdity of it almost made me laugh out loud as I got out of my car, heading back to Rue’s shop.
***
Even though the idea of family felt foreign, I liked it, and I wanted to know more about being a witch. Rue was stooped next to a bin, re-stocking incense. Her mass of blonde hair spilled around her shoulders, hiding her face. I tapped on the glass door and her head popped up. A wide smile spread across her face. Rising slowly from her crouched position, she greeted me as I walked back into her shop.
“Oh, come in, come in. Back so soon?”
She closed the door behind us and wrapped me in an enthusiastic hug. I couldn’t help but beam at her when she released me.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“In the back there’s another box. I left it on the table. My assistant just left and I was about to close up,” she said as she flipped the sign to closed and locked the door.
As I trudged through the store I noticed that the customer that had been here before must have headed out while I was sitting in my car talking to Tessa. I passed through the curtain of beads, finding the box precisely where she said it would be. It wasn’t too heavy but Rue seemed to be moving slow. I brought the box up front and set it on the floor next to where she sat. Sitting Indian-style next to her, I opened the box, and we began filling the large tote with long rectangular boxes of incense.
“This incense smells divine,” I said, holding a pack under my nose as I took a whiff.
Rue smiled. “Take some home with you. It’s my gift.”
“Thank you… Rue, you said that I’m a witch. You’re one too.”
“What were you expecting, a pointy hat and a broomstick?”
I laughed. “Well no, it’s just a bit of a shock. But it certainly explains the clairvoyance and why I see things.”
“Not all witches are clairvoyant, dear.”
“Tell me what it’s like, what it means…”
“It’s really different for everyone.”
“How?”
“Some of us are good with herbs, some of us are good in the kitchen, and others are better with stones or energy or healing.”
“And I see things,” I said with a sigh.
“And you see things.” Rue put the last box of incense in the tote.
“Is there anything else you need help with?” I asked.
“No, I think I’m about done for today.” She grimaced and her crow’s feet crinkled as she pushed herself to standing with her hands on her knees.
“Are you all right?”
“It’s just my ACL—old sports injury. We’ve had so much rain lately. I can almost predict the weather better than our local news.”
I laughed. “Maybe I could make us some more tea.”
“That would be wonderful. There’s still some in the kettle on the stove.”
We went to the back room and she sat at the table while I poured our tea. I brought the mugs over to the table, setting them on the tablecloth. The fragrant smell of herbs rose from the steaming mug. It warmed my hands as I held the cup, taking a sip.
“Thank you for helping me unpack that carton of incense and for the tea. So to what do I owe this visit?” she asked with a smile.
“I don’t even know if you have anything appropriate. I have a gala to attend and I need something formal but Gothic.”
Rue frowned. “It’s a beautiful dress I saw you wearing in my vision. But do you really have to do this?”
“Something tells me I do. There’s someone after me, but at least this way I’ll be surrounded by those who can protect me.”
“What if they can’t?”
“I know it’s a risk, but you have to trust me.” Even if I wasn’t so sure I trusted that everything would work out, I kept my voice level to hide my uncertainty.
“And I know what I saw. You died.”
“I’ll be fine. I promise.” Will you…? Will you really be fine?
Still, Katarina had to be stopped, and it killed me to think that something might happen to Arie or any one of them if their world was discovered. I didn’t believe in fate being concrete or out of my control. I knew what could happen, but I also felt I had the power to change it. Visions were blurry places in space and time that only showed a very small part of a much bigger picture.
Rue sighed. “Then I guess we should see about getting you a dress.”
“Just something basic, something black.” And not too expensive.
“I have plenty of that, but nothing formal enough to suit this occasion.”
“Oh, I don’t care, a dress is a dress. It’s just one night.”
“Come with me.”
Rue pushed away from the table and walked to the kitchenette in the break room. She opened a cupboard and grabbed a container of salt from the shelf. I followed her through the beads, which clanked together. A good ten feet stood between the glass case which housed the cash register and the wall with the life-like tapestry.
We came to a stop in the space in between. Against the wall under the tapestry a small cabinet had a cloth that covered the top. It had a triple moon with a pentacle in the center of the full moon. Around the edges were endless Celtic knots, almost like my mother’s necklace. Two statutes, one masculine and one feminine, were positioned next to tall candles. In a circle were two small bowls, a candle, and a feather. A wine goblet stood on one side of the circle and an incense burner on the other.
Rue poured salt into one of the bowls and disappeared with the other. I heard the sound of running water coming from the direction of the break room. When she returned with the bowl it had been filled with water. Rue sat the bowl next to the other one, containing salt. Then she lit all three candles on top of the cabinet and the incense.
She took my hand and pulled me toward her. “Help me move this cabinet out from the wall.”
I stood on one side and Rue took the other. We carefully slid the cabinet so there was about a foot between it and the wall. The flames flickered and drops of water splashed onto the cloth. Rue opened the cabinet and pulled a spray bottle with clear liquid out from underneath. She misted the liquid around us in a circle, which really looked quite silly.
“What are you doing?”
“Purifying. It’s witch hazel.”
Then she put the spray bottle back in the cabinet and brought out a ball of white yarn. She unrolled it into an enclosure that encompassed us, the cabinet, and touched the wall under the tapestry. It resembled a crooked circle when she was finished.
“The beautiful sea, the blue heaven, and present earth. Muir mas, nem nglas, talam ce…” she said in voice that rang clear as a bell.
For a long time she stood with her eyes closed in the center of the makeshift circle. I wanted to ask what this was about, but I felt it would be intrusive to interrupt whatever it was that she was doing. The flames on the candles she had lit flickered even though there were no ceiling fans or air circulating that would cause them to.
She opened her eyes. “To the dwellers of the wildwood, both seen and unseen, hear my call. Grant us a new reality, keeping safe my family, as I will, so it must be.”
A cold gust of wind blew the doors of the shop open. I started toward them but Rue took hold of my arm and wouldn’t let go. The wind died down and the doors swung closed. An earthy smell enveloped us. When I turned, the tapestry and the forest from my dream had come to life. The pixie under the tree flitted toward the forest and a deer moved through the tree line. My dream had come to life; or rather, she had brought life to my dream.
I reached out to touch the tapestry. When my fingers connected with the surface it was like watching ripples on the surface of a pond. I pulled away.
“It’s okay,” Rue said. “Come with me.” She turned and walked right into the tapestry, disappearing through its liquid-like surface, emerging on the other side as a much younger version of herself. Her willowy figure was draped in flowing white like in my dream. Rue waved at me to follow her.
I
inhaled deeply, closed my eyes, and took a giant step forward. When I opened my eyes I stood next to her under a birch tree. Its white bark looked ghostly in this eerie light. I looked down. I wore a tunic dress fashioned from some sort of hide and boots in a similar style. Rue’s smile radiated childlike joy, the kind that passes between siblings sharing secrets. I had walked into a dream. I’d worry later about how to walk back out.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Nowhere.”
“Okay, well where exactly is nowhere?”
“We’re in the inner world. It’s where dreams are made. I made it up. I made it all up.” She beamed at me.
“Brilliant. But why are we here?”
“Walk with me.”
Rue walked to the edge of the forest. I followed her with a million questions on my tongue, but this place didn’t seem like one that would like questions or readily give answers. She stopped beside a hazel tree and turned to me.
“Shake one of the branches,” she said.
I hesitated before reaching out and giving one of the arms a great shake. Nuts fell to ground, scattering around our feet.
“Now what?” I asked.
“Pick up one of the nuts. Take a deep breath. Then close your eyes and picture what you want.”
I shot her a skeptical look. Despite the Sight, I wasn’t a child with glittering eyes who believed in magic. Yet here I was in a magic she had created, and I grabbed one of those intangible nuts, waiting for the impossible. The kind of magic I believed in was the everyday kind created by kindness, the tiny threads that stitch the universe together. Not some hocus pocus meant for the whimsical believers of fairy tales. That’s almost like saying you believed in unicorns, faeries, or everlasting love. But these days I had started to believe in faeries. So maybe anything could be possible.
In my mind I formed a thought. Well, it started as thought and grew into an image. I felt the nut grow warm in my hand. I wanted to open my eyes but I was afraid if I did it would stop whatever I felt growing.
“That’s it,” Rue said. “Keep going.”
Something was starting to take shape, out of magic, out of the sheer will of my suspended disbelief. Still, I couldn’t open my eyes. It would disappear or be forgotten before it ever took shape. Only magic makes forgetting hard, except when you’re sound asleep. That’s what my visions were. They were magic that twisted the future into tiny pixels filled with infinite possibility that couldn’t account for choice. It’s how I knew Rue couldn’t be right. No one could know the unforeseen incidents arising from the power of my choice. And I chose not to die. In fact, I was very much against it.