by Raine Miller
Suddenly, she stopped and pushed him away. “I get what you’re trying to do, Ben, but we can’t have sex here. The doors are going to open any minute.”
He nuzzled her. “Let’s make it quick, then, baby.”
“Why do you keep calling me baby—?”
He yanked her dress up around her waist. She gasped and tried to pull it down. He pulled it up again. This time she let him, watching him with intrigued eyes.
She was wearing red lace panties.
Mmm . . . He ripped them off. The torn fabric fell to the scuffed, grimy floor.
“Ben! Those were expensive—!”
He kissed her again, fumbling for the button on his slacks. Damn, the belt. He stopped and peered down at the buckle. It blurred before his eyes. Crap, where were his reading glasses when he needed them? He fumbled with the belt as precious seconds ticked by. He loosened the clasp as quickly as he could.
“Ben—”
“Shh . . . you’re going to love this.” He swiftly unbuttoned his pants, then yanked down his zipper. He dropped his boxers and pushed her up against the scuffed wall. Her hair had come loose from its bun, and she looked deliciously disheveled.
He pressed his engorged member against her thigh. “Do you like it, baby?” he whispered. “Do you want me?”
Suddenly, the elevator doors opened.
Ben turned. His wife’s eyes grew large. She cowered against the wall, frantically pulling down her dress.
They were face-to-face with a family of five. A trio of small children gaped at them with bugged-out eyes.
The father shouted.
Ben fumbled for his pants.
The mother gasped and tried to shield her children’s eyes.
A child shrieked and pointed. “Mommy, look at that man’s naked, hairy butt!”
CHAPTER 6
The Pervert and the Whore
“Ew, his butt is ugly!” another child shouted. “It looks like a baboon’s face!”
The kids giggled. The parents shushed them.
Ben struggled to pull up his pants, his face on fire. In his haste, he zipped up part of his boxers so a piece of bright blue fabric poked through the fly.
Kate pressed her lips together as she smoothed her dress and hair. The corners of her mouth trembled. She looked as though she were about to cry.
“I see Cookie Monster!” one of the kids shouted, pointing at Ben’s crotch. He frantically unzipped his pants again to try to fix the problem. The mother gasped. The father shouted. A pimply security guard rushed up, keys jangling, looking overeager for some action.
The guard yanked Ben out of the elevator and threw him into a headlock. Kate rushed out of the elevator after them.
Ben struggled.
The guard swore.
Kate screamed.
The kids ran into the elevator, giggling. “Monkey butt, monkey butt.”
Their father ran after the children and tried to pull them out. They shrieked in high-pitched unison: “But I want to ride the carousel!” “I want an ice cream!” “I want my new shoes!” The elevator doors banged open and closed, open and closed, as the parents tried to drag their children out. The kids screamed and wailed and kicked, holding on to the elevator handrails.
The guard got Ben in an arm lock and shoved him to the ground. He pulled out his walkie-talkie. “This is Guard Erickson. I’ve got a pervert exposing himself to children at the north elevator in Lot C. Request immediate backup.”
Ben threw him off, knocking the radio to the ground. The guard jumped on him from behind. Ben pushed him off again. Kate shouted for him to stop.
Someone hit the elevator alarm, and it wailed shrilly, piercing the night air.
The kids shrieked, their voices rising to meet the clanging, high-pitched alarm.
Kate dashed in and punched off the alarm, then rushed out again. Smoothing her dress, she marched up to the guard, clearly trying to appear in control. “Sir, there’s been a huge misunderstanding.”
“Ma’am, I have job to do,” he said in a nasally voice. He made a move for Ben who sidestepped him. “This man broke the law. We don’t tolerate perverts here at NorthCentre Mall.”
“Sir,” Kate said, drawing herself up. “I can assure you that my husband is not a pervert.” She gave Ben a look that said she wasn’t entirely convinced. She squared her shoulders and took a breath. She was
trying to act calm, authoritative, composed, but Ben knew better. She was pissed at him. Madder than she’d ever been. He could tell by the set of her head and the way she jutted out her chin with narrowed eyes when she glanced his way. There went his chances for any action tonight. He’d blown it.
Royally.
His shoulders slumped.
“Sir,” she said. “It was just a little joke. My husband was—”
The guard pushed her aside. “Save it, Ma’am.” He was a gangly kid, no more than a 120 pounds soaking wet, wearing an oversized uniform. But clearly, he took his job seriously, which he proved by lunging at Ben again.
Ben sidestepped him. “Nano, nano, you can’t get me.” He thumbed his nose at the guard, hoping to make Kate laugh. If she could see the humor in the situation, then maybe they could salvage the evening. “Nano, nano!”
She frowned and shook her head, crossing her arms. Her lips pinched together into a bunched, white line.
“Nano, nano!” Ben jumped out of the guard’s way again, looking desperately over his shoulder at his wife.
The kids shouted in laughter and started running in circles, chanting “Nano, nano.” The guard’s face turned red, and his brows knit together. He lunged again. Ben dodged aside, flapping his hands this way and that. The guard dodged from side to side, trying to grab Ben’s flailing arms.
“Are they doing the chicken dance, Mommy?” a child asked.
The gangly, pimply teen grimaced over his bucked teeth. He did a flying leap through the air and landed on Ben. They fell to the ground with a simultaneous “Oof!”
“Ben!” Kate shouted, rushing to his side.
“I’m okay.” Ben sat up and rubbed the back of his neck.
There was a collective moment of silence as everyone assessed each other.
The quiet was punctuated by a child’s voice. “What’s this red lace thing, Mommy? Ew, it’s all slimy.”
The mother snatched the shredded panties from her child’s hand and cast a glare at Kate and Ben.
Just then, the guard made another flying tackle on Ben, throwing him backward onto the concrete. The guard scrambled up so he sat straddled Ben’s midsection. He fumbled for his walkie-talkie.
Ben bucked up. The guard flew forward, like a rodeo rider on a wayward bull.
The children howled with laughter.
Ben bucked again. The guard swore at him.
“Watch your language!” the father shouted.
The children giggled behind him. “What’s a fucking asshole, Daddy?”
The father lunged at his children, bellowing, “Get out of that elevator, now!”
“Listen to your father!” shouted his wife. “Or you’re having a time-out!” She glanced back at the scene
behind her with buggy eyes. “Those are bad people. Very, very bad.”
Kate whipped her head around. “For your information—!”
“You’re grounded!” the mother screamed.
“Pardon?” Kate said.
The mother yanked her children out of the elevator by their arms. They howled. She marched them by Kate, whispering something in their ears.
“What’s a prostitute, Mommy?”
Kate gasped.
The family rushed off.
The guard finally succeeded in holding Ben down, just as a golf cart with four more security guards pulled up.
CHAPTER 7
Throbbing Head
After the police arrived and wrote Ben a ticket for indecent exposure (amidst much gesticulating and animated input from the five security guards), he drove his wife home. She sat i
n stony silence, looking out the window with her mouth set in a grim line.
When they pulled into the driveway, Ben attempted to broach the subject of their failed date-night. “I’m sorry. I thought an elevator would be a good place to seduce you.”
She frowned and gave her head a small shake. “A good place to seduce me?” She slowly turned to face him. With crossed arms, she stared at him for a long moment. “Ben, are you having a midlife crisis or something?”
“Um, sure, if you want to call it that.” He scratched the side of his face. “What was wrong with the elevator, anyway? If those people hadn’t shown up, we would have had hot sex, just like in those romance books you love.” He wasn’t going to tell her he was getting tips from Fifty Shades. Let her figure it out on her own.
“That elevator smelled like barf and donkey piss, not to mention the minor fact that people ride elevators! Doors open. I mean, you’re quick, but not that quick.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. But jeez, what the hell were you thinking? Some ideas are good in theory but not in practice.”
He rubbed his forehead. “I suppose so.”
She sighed. “If you’d wanted sex, all you had to do was ask.”
Ben shook his head. “I tried the other night, remember? You said you had a headache. Same thing happened on my birthday.”
“I did have a headache. And now I have another.”
“Great,” muttered Ben. He yanked the keys out of the ignition.
Kate opened the car door and stalked up the walkway. Ben followed. When she reached the door, she turned. Her face was softer in the moonlight, but not by much.
She exhaled, clearly trying to formulate her thoughts. “Honey, I appreciate what you tried to do tonight . . . I really do. But it wasn’t the right place. Really not the right place. Let’s try again sometime in another . . . less-risky way. What do you think?”
He pulled her close. “I love you, Kate. That’s what this is all about.”
She gazed up at him. “I love you, too. I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you’d planned.”
“So you’ll make it up to me?”
“Sure.” She cast him a reluctant smile.
“Now?” He gazed at her hopefully
She shook her head. “Not now.” She turned and pushed the door open. “I told you, I have a headache.”
He sighed and followed her in.
CHAPTER 8
Attaining Liftoff
Ben Weaver was not the type to give up easily. At work the next day, he looked over his Fifty Shades list and decided to book the helicopter ride right away. What woman wouldn’t like a romantic helicopter ride? He conceded that maybe the elevator idea had backfired, but that didn’t mean something else wouldn’t work. Seeing the city lights via helicopter could be a very romantic evening, and romantic evenings usually led to sex.
Sal Rizzoli referred him to Helio-Hoppers, a company that specialized in romantic getaways, and said to ask for Randy, a seasoned pilot who knew his way around Los Angeles. Ben immediately booked a Friday night flight to the city, which was an hour north. They would land on top of a downtown hotel and then have a nice dinner in the top-floor restaurant that overlooked the lights. He’d also booked a night’s stay at the hotel, in the luxurious honeymoon suite. So what if he was dipping further into his 401K to fund their evening? It was worth it if it saved their sex life.
There was no price to be put on that.
When Kate saw the helicopter, her face lit up in delight. “Ben, what have you done?”
He smiled, helping her load her overnight bag into the seat. “Just a romantic getaway, my love.”
She beamed at him. “Oh, honey, this is a much better way to seduce me.”
The helicopter pilot, a man who resembled a leathered Willie Nelson with gray stringy hair and a bandanna wrapped around his head, grinned as he helped them up. “You two newlyweds?”
Kate smirked at Ben. “Hardly. We’ve been married twenty years.”
“Congratulations,” the pilot said. “That’s a long time. Exactly as many years as the Vietnam War, you know.”
“Oh, were you in Nam?” Ben asked conversationally, settling into his seat. He put his arm around Kate. She smiled at him with glowing eyes.
“Yup,” the pilot said, closing his door. “But that’s not a topic for a special night out. Besides, the company has asked me not to discuss the subject during work hours.”
Ben shrugged. Fine by him. He wanted a romantic evening with his wife, not one filled with sad stories. “I understand, man.” He pulled Kate close and stroked her cheek. She nestled into his arm.
“Headphones,” the pilot said, pointing to the two pairs in front of them. Ben and Kate pulled them on. The pilot pressed some buttons, and the helicopter rotor began to spin.
“Ooh, I’m so excited!” Kate exclaimed. “A little scared, too. I’ve never been in a helicopter before.”
“Nothing to it,” the pilot’s voice said in their ears. “You’ll see.” He pressed some more buttons, and the whirring sound above them grew louder.
The helicopter slowly lifted off the ground, gaining power. Kate grabbed Ben’s leg, her eyes wide. He smiled and hugged her closer to him. He liked seeing her like this, so soft and vulnerable, like when they were young. It made him feel protective, strong. She laid her head against his chest. As he stroked her soft hair, it struck him that maybe this was how Christian Grey felt with Anastasia: manly, virile, sexy. Kate felt so feminine in his arms, so desirable. It struck him that maybe women liked being taken care of, even the strongest and most self-reliant of ones.
Something clicked in that moment for Ben. There is was. Simple, clear as a whistle, and spelled out in Fifty Shades of Grey.
So this is how guys got laid.
There was definitely something to Christian Grey’s methods; that was for sure.
The man knew what he was doing.
And now, so did Ben.
CHAPTER 9
Fireworks
Ben and Kate snuggled together in the seat of the helicopter, taking in the city below them from the rounded glass windows. The lights of downtown Los Angeles glittered like a million white diamonds. Tall buildings loomed skyward, jutting up toward their feet. Darkness swelled around them, encompassing them in their own private cocoon far above the world. From this height, even the lines of cars—flowing like lighted heartworms through the arteries of the city—looked halfway poetic
“Beautiful,” Kate murmured.
Ben stroked her cheek lightly with his finger. “Yes,” he said, “you are.”
She smiled at him with a look he hadn’t seen in a long time. “This is a really great date, Ben. Such a nice surprise.”
“It’s only the beginning,” he said, winking. “There’s much more in store.”
“Oh, is there?” she said, a flirtatious note in her voice. She stared him down with her large blue eyes. He held her gaze, his fingers lightly tracing her kneecap.
Yes, I’ll definitely be getting some tonight.
“Excuse me,” the helicopter pilot interrupted. “We have fifteen minutes left before we have to land. Are there any other parts of the city you’d like to see?”
“How about the Hollywood sign?” asked Kate.
“Naw, that’s boring,” the pilot said. “How about a cruise over the freeways?”
Ben met Kate’s eyes. She stifled a laugh.
“Um, freeways aren’t exactly exciting or romantic, old buddy,” said Ben. “Anywhere else you’d suggest?”
“How about Dodger Stadium?” the pilot asked. “Lights, action, all the good stuff. Hell, we might even catch part of the game.” He looked back at them and winked.
Ben shrugged. “Fine, whatever.” He didn’t really care where they flew, as long as he had Kate by his side. The whole evening was taking on a much more romantic tone than even he could have predicted. He couldn’t wait to wine-and-dine her at the hotel, then ta
ke her to their suite and show her the surprise he’d purchased to woo her with, Christian-Grey style. The night was just beginning.
“Chavez Ravine it is,” the pilot said, and he dipped the helicopter to the left.
They flew along in silence with only the loud chop-chop of the blade above them. Below, cars crawled like glowing ants on a vast network of freeways, and dark mountains passed by in a shadowed blur.
Dodger Stadium appeared up ahead, a bright bowl of white light with a postage-stamp-sized green field and stands packed with fans.
“How about a body massage when we get back to the hotel?” Ben whispered in Kate’s ear. “Naked.”
She giggled. “Sounds—”
Without warning, a firework exploded directly below them, punctuating the dark sky with showers of color.
Kate jumped in her seat.
“Shit!” the pilot shouted, and dipped the helicopter abruptly to the left.
Kate let out a startled cry. Ben gripped the seat as the helicopter swerved again.
Kaboom! Another firework burst into a blinding ball of light directly in front of them. Mini comets of burning phosphorous danced around the windows, surrounding them in white sparks. The pilot dipped the helicopter deeper this time, cursing.
Kate let out a whimper and cast Ben a wide-eyed glance. He heaved a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He leaned forward to address the pilot. “Sir, how about we get away from the fireworks? They’re scaring my wife.”
The pilot grunted and moved the steering stick to the side. The helicopter moved farther away from the stadium, the blades whirring loudly overhead.
Ben breathed a sigh of relief.
The pilot mumbled indecipherable words. Sweat glistened down the side of his face.
Another firework shot up, this time farther off to the side. The pilot jerked his head forward and then back over his shoulder. His eyes bulged, making him look like a frog on crack. “Shitheads,” he muttered.
“Excuse me?” Ben said. Kate looked at him in alarm.
The pilot yanked the stick. The helicopter whipped around and headed back in the direction of Dodger Stadium.