by T M Caruana
She leaned her back against the boxes of long life bread and started devouring her booty, as if she had never had chocolates before. Inspecting her figure, I thought this was probably true.
Poor girl.
Another woman with shoulder length brown hair walked over towards us, carrying a pile of six books in her arms.
“Books?” I questioned incredulously. “There are luxury chocolates, exotic fruits and freezers stocked up with cheesecakes, and you have found books?”
“What will you do when you are full?” the woman responded slightly annoyed.
“Each to their own,” I answered, not wanting a confrontation, and pulled a sarcastic face at the other guys.
Strange one, this one.
The three men hid a smile.
From behind aisle seven a young blonde woman ran over to where we were standing.
“Emergency!” she shouted. She was carrying a large box containing a coffee maker. On top of it lay a refill packet of golden blend coffee. “I need coffee. Anyone know how to plug this thing in?”
She spotted a socket on the wall and stopped a few metres away from the group before starting to rip the box open. The brown haired woman approached her and reached for the instruction manual to help.
“Let’s see,” the woman who I remember was called Sarah murmured, whilst folding open and studying the instruction booklet.
“Hi, I’m Jolie. I’m the FAO’s coffee delivery attendant.”
“Good for you,” I called out and the men in the kitchen chuckled.
Jolie gave me a disapproving look before Sarah stretched out her hand, shaking it about, insinuating that she should ignore us.
“I’m Sarah, nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Jolie responded exaggeratedly, to prove a point.
The Asian woman who was still sitting by the long-life bread, witnessing the dispute managed to speak in between stuffing her face with chocolates.
“I’ll have some coffee as well if offered,” she joined in.
“Well, of course,” Jolie chirped ecstatically to show me that she had strengthened her alliance.
“I’m Jennifer Salomon, Liz’s childhood friend,” she said, introducing herself to Jolie, and also did a slight wave.
I looked over at Jennie, who looked like she would be sitting there for a while. “Liz’s friend you say. Why the limping? Did you hurt your foot?” I asked bluntly, and received admonitory looks from Jolie who must have thought that I had been too frank.
“I have got MS. It’s not my foot. It’s my hip and back that hurts.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I answered and felt slightly ashamed at having asked too bluntly.
“Don’t be, I‘m still standing,” she said and smiled a tight smile that didn’t show any teeth.
Jaden joined us as well. He had a beer in one hand and a packet of crisps in the other.
“I’ll stick to the beer. I know the taste of your coffee,” he mocked and crumpled his nose at Jolie.
Jolie stretched out her tongue at Jaden in response and then blew him a teasing kiss.
The man who I had heard Liz call Tony, had also appeared with a spoon from the kitchen section and a large chocolate cake, which he was eating straight out of the packet. The last two to arrive were an extremely pale man, holding his arms comfortingly around a dark skinned large bloke.
“What’s going on?” Wallace asked, as the two came closer.
“I found this man pulling at the metal door with all his might to get out. The poor man doesn’t speak a word of English.”
Wallace walked up to the man, and attempted to ask him a few basic questions, but received jumbled words that didn’t appear to resemble anything he could interpret. He pointed at himself.
“Wallace, W-a-l-l-a-c-e,”
The man looked at him and mirrored.
“Nagu, N-a-g-u,”
Wallace snatched an unopened packet of lightly salted crisps out of Jaden’s hands. Jaden huffed at the theft. He stretched it towards Nagu. Nagu frowned and pushed it away without accepting it and then pointed to the door. More stressed noises came out of his mouth. It was clear he didn’t want to be here.
17
FORMING ALLIANCES
Confusion spread, however it was too early in the competition to make any assumptions.
“I thought his name was John?” I said before swigging another gulp of my wine.
“Are you deaf? He said his name is Nagu?” Jolie snapped. It seemed she had definitely taken a dislike to me and would take any opportunity to have a dig.
I deserved it I suppose. I had started it.
“Yes, sure. I was just saying…”
“Well, you were wrong. Perhaps he just doesn’t understand the rules.”
“Even you are clever enough to know the rules,” I snapped, returning the insult.
“Com’on y’ll. Lighten up. It’s our first day. Have you seen this cool shit?” Tony stuffed his mouth full of bubble gum and blew it until a large bubble popped over his whole face with a loud snap.
I giggled.
He looks so stupid. Although with nothing better to do.
“Let me try it,” I said and almost tore three packets of bubble gum out of Tony’s hand.
He didn’t seem to mind, only thrilled that someone wanted to play his game. My bubble wasn’t as big, but I thought it was a good effort.
“Good one,” Tony praised.
“What about a pie throwing contest?”
“Awesome!” I shouted and stumbled to the side, realising I was a bit tipsy, having just finished my bottle of wine on an empty stomach.
As Tony and I were about to head for the pastry section, Sarah interjected. “You shouldn’t play with the food and waste it. We’re going to need it for eating.”
“Ah, don’t be such a bore, Sarah,” I complained although I did actually agree with her this time.
Fun and games is one thing, but I also had to take this seriously.
“The condoms! We can blow them up with our noses as a competition!” Tony shouted, as if he had had a brilliant idea. “No one will use them right?” he asked me before he added another, “right?” to ask for clarification and made sleazy flirtatious gestures at me.
“No…god no,” I immediately clarified and frowned at him.
“Well, I will save one for you, sweetheart, just in case you change your mind,” he added and sprung to get them.
I watched as Wallace rounded the butcher’s counter to help Alexandre peel some potatoes. Alexandre watched him cautiously to see what he was doing. Connor also made his way around, looking bored.
“What are-a you doing?” Alexandre asked, as the second man entered his kitchen.
“I was going to help,” Connor said, and hesitated before taking another step.
“This is-a my kitchen. I will have-a one sous-chef,” he said followed by, “You,” and pointed at Wallace who was the first one there. “You,” he then said, pointing at Connor, “Out of-a my kitchen. If-a you want-a food. You place the raw-a ingredients there-a on the counter and-a I will-a cook it for you.
Joanne, who looked to be the oldest in the group and hadn’t really said much so far, made an attempt at trying to get Simon and Alexandre to agree a strategy.
“We should probably eat the consumables, which go out of date first – like the vegetables?”
“Yes,” Simon agreed, “and perhaps freeze as many things as we can for them to last longer.”
“Crime-e. Crime-e. Crime-e…” Alexandre repeated. “To freeze-e fresh-a food will remove its-a flavours.”
“If you haven’t noticed, this isn’t a Michelin restaurant, it’s a survival competition. Taste, isn’t nearly as important as nutrition.
“At-a least leave the soil and-a the seeds for vegetables and-a herbs with me and I will-a grow my own, fresh, ingredients.”
“Sure,” Simon confirmed and started to walk with Joanne to see what they could move into the fre
ezers.
“Jennifer, Jolie and Sarah remained sitting on the floor, moaning with pleasure, reaping the benefit from the caffeine in the newly brewed coffee.
I walked around the supermarket, just looking at the shelves. Having hours to spend on actually looking at the products, rather than rushing in and out in an otherwise busy lifestyle, I noticed items I had never paid attention to before.
Eggs fried in batter, why would anyone even want to eat that? Tinned mixed vegetables, that was just lazy. Duck in Hoisin sauce flavoured Pringles, yuck.
As I passed the next aisle I noticed Jaden and Jolie exchanging hostile comments. Jolie was shouting ‘you aren’t anything other than a wild wolf’, whilst Jaden was defending himself by calling Jolie a ‘jackal’.
Did he say jackal or jack-ass? Strange.
I wondered what that was all about, but because they seemed very unfriendly with one another I decided to move along. After having spent all day making small talk with the other contestants, eating and looking at products I circled back to the butcher’s, where I also found some of the others.
“It’s already ten pm, Jennifer said glancing at her watch. “It’s hard to tell what time it is in here when the lights are always on.”
“Perhaps someone should dim them at night so we don’t mess up our body-clocks,” Jolie suggested.
Jolie went to search out the light switches and I could see that she found them by the loading dock doors that were just by the customer entrance into the butcher’s. She switched them off, one at a time, until only the butcher’s counter was lit. The complaints of other contestants, left in the dark away from the butcher’s area were heard across the supermarket. Jolie wandered back to sit down on the floor next to Jennifer and Sarah. It didn’t take long until everyone else found their way towards the light to see what was going on.
“It’s night time,” Jolie reiterated.
It had been a long and exciting day and we all sat down in a circle on the floor, except Nagu, who was still pounding relentlessly on the metal door. Jaden had finished yet another bottle of beer and laid it down on the floor to fiddle with it. As it spun around and the bottleneck pointed at Tony, I playfully queried:
“Truth or dare, Tony?”
Tony’s grin widened and there was a sparkle in his eyes. It seemed he was always up for a good game and never scared of a challenge.
“Dare,” he answered smugly.
“Maybe you can ask him to kiss your ass,” Jolie said, her attitude showing that she thought it was a silly game and she was probably a bit worried that we had already formed such a strong alliance.
“Yes true, it is probably better to let someone else do it. You must be so tired after giving Anne so much ass kissing,” Jaden said, defending me.
“That’s just being polite Jaden. I’m not an idiot like you.”
“What is the matter Jolie?” Tony intercepted.
“Worried dark secrets would unfold if you played?”
Jolie carefully watched Simon’s expression.
How odd her looks at him were.
“You know as well as I do that some secrets should be kept secret to…all humans.”
Again she said that as if hinting at something they both knew. What relationship had they shared? Was there a secret FAO Project going on?
“And no, I’m not a coward,” Jolie carried on, “I could take you on and I will win. And when I do, your stupid hair and your assumed swagger will fade to utter ridiculousness.”
“If I win, you will still be the snobby, spoilt ass-kisser that was my first impression of you,” Tony declared and moved his attention over to Jaden. “What’s my first dare then?”
“I dare you to…” he started, however paused as he had to think of something. “Eat snails!” he announced and gloated.
A disgusted noise was heard from the girls, but amused laughter came from Connor.
“Alright,” Tony said with a gleam in his eye.
He rose up and walked away. He must have gone over to the sea-life aisle and picked up a large plastic tub of small sea snails, as that is what he came back with. He brought the tub across and gently put it down on the butcher’s counter with a theatrical gesture, his hands showing his exhibit to his audience. Jennifer covered her mouth and nose with her hands in disgust. Tony smiled wider.
He was hilarious.
“Alexandre? In your chef school, did they teach you how to prepare sea snails?”
“I am-a Alexandre Buitoni. Of course I-a know how to prepare-a them,” he answered proudly.
“What do you need chef?”
“I am-a needing butter, parsley, white wine, cognac, garlic, shallot and salt.”
“Okay, coming right up.”
Tony started heading towards the vegetable section so fast that he had to hold onto his trendy jeans, which hung halfway down his ass. After a few steps he turned to wave back at us.
“You carry on y’all. This may take a while. Although, if anyone is doing anything juicy let me know so I don’t miss it.”
Jaden spun the bottle again after having swigged another mouthful from a new beer bottle that he had ripped out of its paper packaging just next to him. The bottleneck landed pointing at Jennifer.
“Truth or dare, Jennie?” Jaden asked contemptuously.
As Jennifer’s body wasn’t up to any sporty challenges she must have felt that she didn’t have a choice.
“Truth.”
“Tony!” Jaden shouted. “Truth on Jennie!”
Tony walked over to us with the shallot, parsley and the garlic in his hand and placed them down on the butcher’s counter.
“How did you come to take part in this competition? I mean…what are your skills?” Tony asked in turn.
“I’m just here for the half a million,” she stated without shame.
“That’s what they told you?” Joanne, who was sitting on a pile of six-pack water bottles, asked in surprise.
Why did I feel like she was trying to dampen the incredulity in her question? Was it the way she nervously straightened her knee-length black skirt?
Simon sat next to her and like her, was just watching the game rather than participating. They didn’t seem to have been impressed by the childish antics and commented that ‘today’s youth would do any stupid thing for five minutes of fame in front of the cameras’. At the mentioning of money, he stopped chewing on his coronation chicken stuffed sandwich.
“What money?”
“They didn’t tell you about the money?” Jaden asked suspiciously.
“Maybe Liz thought I wouldn’t make it that far,” Simon stated casually and carried on biting off chucks of his sandwich.
“What do you mean ‘not make it that far?” Connor asked and made a gesture for Jaden to share a beer with him.
“She found me in the cancer ward and I told her I only had a few weeks more to live – especially after stopping all my treatment. It doesn’t matter. I’m a lost cause anyway.”
“But wait a minute,” I stopped, busy with a mind-puzzling question. “Why would she want to bet on a competitor who she knew wouldn’t win?”
“Maybe she thought that I would make it, and with the money I could secure a good living for my children?”
“But she never told you about the money.”
“Perhaps she didn’t want to get my hopes up and just thought I’d be happy when I found out.”
How odd. Liz must have known we would talk about it in here.
The group concurred and nodded sceptically.
“Your turn Jennie,” Jaden said, and pointed at the bottle.
Jennie pulled up the sleeve of her soft black polyester top and spun the bottle gently. It stopped on me this time. She smirked, most likely wanting to get one over me.
“Truth or dare, Tasha?”
“Truth,” I answered, as I had seen some of the disgusting things one could be forced to eat in this place.
“Okay, truth…” Jennie commented and thought about her
question. “Have you ever fucked Alfred?”
“No,” I answered and pulled a grin in return that stated Jennie hadn’t got the better of me.
“Do you want to?” she quickly added and smiled.
“Only one question, I’m afraid,” I almost sang out into Jennifer’s face.
“How do you know him, anyway?”
“I think most of us here know him. Isn’t that right Connor?”
A strained atmosphere settled over the two of them. Connor clamped his lips tightly together, and it was as if he would jump her if she spoke ill of him.
Was it a sore topic? What relationship did Conner have to Alfred?
“What do you mean?” I asked and reached to spin the bottle.
“Well, in any case, everyone must know of him. Come on, he is sexy, powerful and rich. What girl would say no to that?”
“You might be lawless, but he isn’t my type…” Jolie murmured and then looked up at Jennie and added, “Literally.”
“Lawless? What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, as it seemed there was an underlying tone to all their discussions that I didn’t understand.
“Nothing,” Jennie spat, “keep to the game.”
The bottle stopped at me again. I sighed.
“I suppose it’s dare then,” I said with a snort.
“Flash your tits in front of a camera.” Jennifer was quick to announce her challenge.
I shook my head. “No, way. I’m out then.”
I stood up whilst the others called me names suited to a quitter. I ignored them and looked at my Gucci watch that showed it was five in the morning. I walked towards the small café by the main doors of the supermarket. There were some tables there where I could have breakfast.
On my way I picked up a yoghurt pot, a sunflower seed roll and some chocolate spread. I placed it all down on one of the café’s tables and went over to the self-service area of the café. From the little fridge I picked up an orange juice and grabbed a glass before I headed back to the table. Tony walked across as I sat down, looking contemptuous.
“I guess you had the snails,” I stated. “You stink of garlic.”
“They think they are so clever. They can think again. Tony is going to rock this place,” he said confidently speaking about himself in third person and held out his fist for me to punch it.