by S. M. West
“Try me.”
“You don’t deserve her.” His hands are in fists and he snarls.
“And you do?” I arch a brow, tight-lipped and losing my patience. “Well, you can’t take her away if you don’t know where she is.”
My taunt is empty, but he doesn’t know that as he throws a punch, socking me square in the jaw. Livid, I hurl my fist at his face, jabbing flesh and bone. Crack. I hit his nose.
He cries out and staggers back, knocking over a table and a patron in the process. Blood gushes from his nose, and one hand pinches the bridge to stem the bleeding. But he isn’t backing down.
I inch closer, fists up while there’s a lot of commotion going on around us. He attacks like a rabid dog, sending both of us crashing to the floor. He clips me on the chin, and I punch him in the side.
Now we’re grappling and rolling around, too close for either of us to do any damage. Someone grabs my shoulder, and someone else shouts for the cops.
32
All the wars
EVA
The warm, salty sea air washes over my heated skin as I’m in Shavasana, corpse pose. Pansy is first to move, with quiet rustling and other movements she makes as she likely rolls up her yoga mat.
I lie, silent, just a little longer. Cherishing a brief moment of stillness without any pain, tears, or questions that I’m no closer to answering.
After seeing Jared yesterday at the hotel pool, something changed. I can’t explain it, but I found a little more clarity. It still hurt to see him. I still thought of him with Bianca, but I also felt a lightness, something lifting inside of me, and gratitude in seeing him.
Despite everything, I missed him, and last night was the first night I got some sleep. It wasn’t sound or through the night but it was something.
And when I woke this morning, just before dawn, I wanted the beach and yoga on Pansy’s deck with the spectacular ocean view.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Pansy’s soft and tender gaze is a welcome balm.
I roll onto my knees and begin to wipe down the mat she loaned me. She sits cross-legged, not too far from me, with her dog’s head resting in her lap. Her fingers comb through its ruff.
“Better. I’m glad I came.”
“Me too. I don’t want to pry, and you can tell me to shut up or get lost, but how are things with you and Jared?”
When I arrived, I could sense she knew some, if not all, of what had happened between us.
“About the same.” I slip on my shoes, grabbing my towel, hoping she gets that I don’t want to talk about it. “I’m going to head out. I really enjoyed this and might be back tomorrow, if that’s okay.”
“Of course. Any time.” She stays where she is and waves.
“Hey, Pansy, I just got a call from Jared.” Silas sticks his head out the sliding door.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, unable to ignore the concern or worry in his voice or the nagging in my gut that Pansy may know a little something about how I feel.
“Ah, he got arrested and Quint says he’s refusing bail.”
“Arrested?” Pansy and I say at the same time.
“I don’t know all the details, but he got into a fight at the bar in your hotel.” Silas looks at me. “Both men, Jared and the other guy, were arrested.”
“Was he drinking?” Pansy asks.
“No. I’m going down there to get him out.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask to come or tell him I will go instead, but that isn’t my place. I can’t play games with Jared when I don’t know what I want.
My arms cross over my middle, and I watch Silas leave. He promises to keep Pansy informed, and in turn, she’ll let me know what’s going on.
Unease churns in my stomach, and I need to move. I say goodbye to Pansy once more and take the stairs down to the beach.
A small smile springs to my lips once I hit the sandy floor. It isn’t as big or as bright as it would be if all was right, but I’ll take it.
The water is calling me as I dip my feet in at the edge of the shore and stand there for quite some time.
“Hey, you’re still here.”
I peer over my shoulder to see Pansy headed my way.
“Yes. I might be all day.” I laugh, and we stand side by side looking out at the horizon. “Any word from Silas?”
“No. Nothing so far but I will call or text when I know more.”
“Thanks.”
“Okay, so I’m only going to say one more thing…”
Glancing at her, I suppress my groan. She means well, but we hardly know each other. I don’t want to talk about Jared sleeping with my sister, who is quite possibly Pansy’s friend.
“I wasn’t in the picture when it happened, but when I did find out, it hurt. I tried to hide it because it was Silas’s past, and it took some time to really get over it. So I can’t imagine what you’re feeling especially since Bianca is…”
My stomach tumbles and my inclination is to bolt. I feel shame, and the betrayal is still there but more for what Bianca did than anything else.
She shakes her head, bending down to pick up a shell on the sand. “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping. I don’t want to make this more difficult for you than it already is. All I want to say is, Jared loves you more than life itself.”
I feel the same way.
“And if it’s any consolation, in the time I’ve been on the scene, he has never, ever been close with Bianca. In fact, it’s the opposite. There’s a lot of tension between them, and I have the feeling he only asked her to be his manager because he felt sorry for her.”
“Sorry for her?”
“There was nothing for her once Trojan was over. And she was looking for another job but she wasn’t getting any bites. I heard the guys talking one day, and Jared grudgingly said he’d offer her his manager position…because of who she was to you.”
“Can I ask you a question?” I’m doing what I said I wouldn’t, but if anyone can understand, it would be Pansy.
“Sure.” Her smile is inviting, and I wonder if she’ll be as open once I get this out.
“Does it bother you about Jared?” She stares intently, and I feel the need to further explain. “I mean, that Silas also slept with Jared.”
At first she looks a bit surprised, and I wonder if I should have been clearer. She likely thinks I’m troubled by two men sleeping together.
“Ah, you know, until now it never crossed my mind.” She pauses, glancing down to her feet buried in the sand and then back at me. “It doesn’t bother me.”
“Me neither. I’ve been thinking about that and wondering why Jared sleeping with Silas, or any person other than my sister, doesn’t eat at me. Sure, I’d rather not know specifics about those he’s been with in the past but…none of it feels like a betrayal.”
She nods. “Yes, I get that. And for me, these guys have a strong bond and I’m not threatened by that. It sounds weird and maybe wrong but when they talked about it, when they were together, it was sex. An experiment with someone they trusted and nothing more.”
“Yes. I understand that and feel the same way.” I lick my lips and push on, getting to what I really want to know. “How did you get over it? I mean, you see Bianca and Jared all the time. You’re friends.”
She’s shaking her head before I can finish what I have to say. “Jared’s my friend, but I wouldn’t say Bianca is. We’re civil, and things are a lot better than they were in the beginning or even when I found out, but she’s never liked me and she didn’t hide it. I think she tolerates me because of Silas.”
“What?” My stomach is overcome with a sinking sensation.
“She’s your sister, and I don’t want to offend you but…”
“You won’t—go on.”
“There’s something about her, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t trust her. She says all the right things, and at times, I think it’s me and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt because of her relationship with the
guys. But what she did to you and Jared…she knew you were alive and lied to him and then slept with him.”
It shouldn’t hurt to hear something I already know, but it does. Pansy’s hitting the mark. Bianca is my sister, and I don’t understand why she did what she did.
At least for Jared, as misguided as his intentions were, he was trying to find some part of me in my sister. He thought I was dead.
My nose stings and I look away, not wanting to cry anymore. He didn’t know I was alive. It was an attempt to be with me, and he said so himself—it didn’t work. He regretted it.
If he’d ever wanted Bianca, he had so many chances to be with her, starting from when we were teenagers. But in fact, they weren’t close back then either.
And now, hearing from Pansy about his relationship with Bianca as the band manager, it makes me wonder if he only ever tried with her for me?
“Thank you for being honest and for this morning. I’m going to go. Please text me when you know if Jared is okay.”
“Of course.” She pulls me in for a hug.
The sun is unrelenting, high in the sky and scorching at two in the afternoon. My hair sticks to the back of my neck. I wish I’d worn it up.
The cold blast of air-conditioning hits my body, a welcomed reprieve from the outdoors. If I’m inside too long, I may get cold in my spaghetti-strap sundress, but for now, I want the chill.
The police station is nothing and everything like I’ve seen in movies and on TV. People are lined against a wall, waiting in old, worn chairs—some tired, others frustrated, and still others, scared.
Miguel’s stocky build is the first familiar thing I spot. He stands to the side of a desk, collecting a clear plastic bag with what looks to be his belongings. He leans down to sign a clipboard the officer thrusts at him.
I push back a few wild strands of hair and fix my handbag on my shoulder. He turns, fishing his phone out of the bag, and stills when he sees me.
A wide smile breaks out on his tired, cut-up face. “Eva, you came.”
Quickening his pace, he stops in front of me as if going in to kiss me, and I step away. The nerve of this guy.
“I didn’t come for you.”
“Eva.” He wrinkles his thick, dark brows, and it’s clear to see he’ll never understand that he isn’t in control of my life.
“A fight with Jared. Really?” I don’t even try to hide my irritation. “Look at you.”
A small cut runs along the side of his jaw, and his nose is red and puffy with a thick white bandage across the bridge.
“The lunatic almost broke my nose.”
“Oh, and let me guess, you did nothing? You were the perfect gentleman?”
An exaggerated huff skates past his lips, and he rolls his eyes to heaven as if I’m some tiresome child. “Come. Let’s go.”
“No. Where’s Jared?”
“How should I know?” He shrugs, looking at anything but me.
“I think you do.” Folding my arms, I cock out a hip to one side. My stare is implacable.
“He’s still in there.” His hand waves dismissively in the direction of a hallway, and he curls his other hand around my bicep trying to pull me in the direction of the entrance.
“Let go of me.”
“Eva. Stop this nonsense.”
“No.” I press my finger into his chest. “You stop. I don’t want to hear another word about Jared.” He opens his mouth to speak and I add, “Ever.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous?” I feel my eyebrows climb to my hairline. “Do you want to know what’s ridiculous? How you can’t get it through your thick skull that we are divorced. It’s you, a grown man starting a fight, and what for?”
“I didn’t start anything.”
“Don’t you dare.” My pointed finger is out, inches from his face, and he scowls. “The bartender said you threw the first punch. Actually, he said since Jared is a public figure and you started the whole thing—you provoked Jared into defending himself.”
His features harden, but he has the decency to at least flush, looking away.
“The hotel dropped the charges against Jared. They were going to pursue full restitution and legal action against you.”
Miguel’s eyes widen ten-fold as does his mouth. “What? That’s outrageous.”
“Is it? Do you know why you’re out?”
“They told me the charges were dropped. I figured the hotel decided not to go ahead with it. Or maybe you or your father were able to talk some sense into them.”
“No to all of that. You’re out thanks to Jared. They were going to release him yesterday afternoon. They told him he could leave.”
That’s why I’m puzzled that he’s still here. Pansy texted to let me know Jared refused to leave despite all that Silas tried to do. I then went to the hotel manager and found out what happened in the bar and everything else.
“It was Jared who got the hotel to drop the charges, and he isn’t going to file any either. Which he can, as can you.”
I hold up a finger when there’s a flicker of retaliation in Miguel’s gaze. “But you will not press charges because you will lose. Just consider the situation. All the witness accounts say you started it.”
“Fine. I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t like him for you.”
“Well, guess what? It doesn’t matter what you like or think, now does it?”
“Eva, don’t be foolish. Can we talk about this? Let’s go back to the hotel and make arrangements to go home.”
There’s so much about his response I want to set straight.
“You can’t stay at the hotel. Your bags will be sent to you once you let the hotel know where you’re staying. You aren’t allowed to go back there.”
“That’s insane. And Jared? I suppose he can come and go as he pleases?”
“Jared’s none of your concern. As for going home, this is my home. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Eva.” He attempts to touch my bare shoulder, but once more, I move away. “Please don’t do this. Stop this silliness.” He uses the parental tone that grates on my nerves.
He is no more than five years older than me, yet he treats me like a child, like my father does. Before, I didn’t care. I didn’t have any hopes or dreams, or a life worth fighting for. But now, that’s all changed.
“Miguel, leave now or I will tell one of these officers that you are harassing me. Or better yet, I’ll call my uncle. We can see if we want to revise our terms of your departure with the company.”
He pales, and I step closer, narrowing my gaze. “Listen to me. Forget my name. Lose my number. Better yet, think of me as dead to you.”
Spinning on my heel, I march up to the counter and demand to see Jared. An officer informs me that Jared has refused release, which is what I expected. He’s still in a holding cell, and he’ll have to consent to seeing me.
“Come with me.” The plump officer leads the way down a corridor and then stops. “Please stay here, ma’am.”
Anxious, I wait while he strolls a few feet away where I can make out cells filled with people. I can’t see Jared.
The officer mumbles something, clearly talking to someone in the cell before coming back to me. “He doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”
“Did you tell him it’s me? Eva Ramirez?” I plant my hands on my hips.
Shaking his head, his lips thin. “Ma’am, he didn’t ask. He doesn’t want to see anyone. Like I said, he’s going to have no choice but to be released soon. He can’t take up space in our jails.”
“That isn’t acceptable. I want him out now.”
“Ma’am, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. If you want to wait for him, why don’t you grab a coffee and you can sit on the bench outside? You’ll be able to see anyone coming and going.”
His dismissive attitude isn’t doing anything for my mounting frustration and fatigue. As I’m about to respond, another officer calls him over.
&n
bsp; “One moment, ma’am, and I’ll take you back to the front.”
With a tight nod, I wait until his back is turned and then scurry down the hall toward the cells.
“Jared. Jared Grange,” I whisper-shout, scanning the diverse group of men in the large cell.
Several heads turn, one or two whistle, and others holler catcalls, only adding to my nervousness.
“Hey, sexy momma.” A burly man with a beard and long scar across his cheek straightens against the wall, tracking my every move.
“Jared.” This time, I’m more insistent, face flushing from the lewd stares from some of the men.
I glance behind me to where the cop is likely to turn up at any moment, now unsure if I want the time to find Jared or want to be hauled out of here.
Another wiry man saunters over to the bars, sticking his tongue out in a licking motion and one of his hands rubbing at his crotch. “Baby, you’re small but those curves. Bet your pussy would feel like a vise around my—”
“Shut your fucking mouth.” Jared lunges forward, grabbing him by the collar and thrusting him back into a small crowd.
Sun-kissed skin is the first thing to pull me mentally out of this creepy place. Then his cut arms and defined chest, taut and flexing, cause my breath to stutter as heat flares in my core.
This is neither the time nor the place to gawk at him, but I can’t help myself. I want him.
Then he’s whipping back around. “Eva, what are you doing here?”
Molten-amber eyes, full lips, and a square, scruff-darkened jaw is all I see as he stalks toward me.
“I could ask you the same question.” My insides quiver at being this close to him.
“This is no place for you. I’m better in here than out there.” The muscle in his jaw tics.
“What do you mean?”
“I got into a fight with Miguel.” Shame shadows his tone. “I’m sure you’ve heard all about it.”
The jeers and lewd comments continue, and his shoulders tense, fingers curling around the bars to the point that his knuckles turn white.