He was happy to see her willingly eating more, though, so he didn’t mention his concerns to her. She seemed to resent almost everything he ever said to her to encourage her to spring back to her old self. He found himself restraining himself from saying anything but superficial things to her lately.
“How about a game of chess after dinner?” he suggested as the slaves started clearing the dinner plates away.
“Yes, I would like that,” Leatrisha agreed. She needed something to keep her occupied so she wouldn’t fidget around until it was time to make her way out to the abandoned shack.
Rand set the pieces out on the board, glancing up at Leatrisha every once in awhile, trying to figure out why she seemed so excited about something. Theodore probably knew, but knowing the boy he was too loyal to Leatrisha to divulge anything to him, and if he did, Leatrisha would be angry at him. Since she seemed to be doing so much better, he was hesitant to do anything to disrupt that recovery.
Leatrisha stared at the chess board, having a hard time focusing on it.
“Are you ever going to make a move?” Rand asked.
She had been playing exceptionally well, but she took forever to make each move, like her mind was elsewhere.
“If I am going to beat you, I have to calculate every single move wisely,” she smiled, and pushed her bishop out to challenge his queen, being backed up by a pawn.
Rand had not seen the move coming, because he had been more concerned about her than the game, and had to sacrifice his queen.
“The game is all but won,” Leatrisha tittered, as she started to move in for the kill.
“I might as well forfeit the game, as I can see you have the upper hand,” Rand admitted. “Something you always seem to have with everything you do,” he added, and Leatrisha laughed.
“That is the third game I have beat you in a row,” Leatrisha pointed out. “I believe you are letting me win! What kind of a challenge is that if you do not play your best?”
“Believe me, Lettie, I did not let you win, nor do I wish you to beat me at everything you try your hand at. But my weakness are those green eyes, and that impish grin of yours. It distracts me every time,” he admitted.
“Is that so?” she smiled. “With so many other things to distract you? I have never noticed you getting distracted from anything you set a mind to do,” Leatrisha challenged.
“Except when it comes to you, Lettie. I can’t seem to get past your own resolve. Why is there so much excitement in your eyes tonight? It can’t be the fact that you have beat me in chess three times in a row.”
“What makes you think I’m excited?” she demanded.
“The way you have been moping around, and then suddenly you are all full of life? You can’t fool me, Lettie, so you might as well tell me.”
“You are mistaken. I just feel alive suddenly. I am trying to accept James passing, just let me get over it in my own way, Rand, and stop questioning every move I make. You have never trusted me. Nothing I do ever makes you happy. Even when I wanted to touch you, to make you happy, you wouldn’t let me. I have stopped trying to make you understand me.
“You know in the beginning, I did not think I loved James. He had always been there when I was a child, and I took him for granted all the time. But he knew what I needed in a lover, he knew I was as curious about touching him, as he was with touching me, and he allowed me that abandon. He didn’t accuse me of being too young and innocent. He didn’t refuse me when I asked him to take my virginity. I will never love anyone but him!”
“But he is dead, Lettie. You are going to have to accept that sometime. Are you going to turn your love away from every man you meet in the future, because James had you twice in his life?”
“Twice? How do you know how many times…” She paused. “You knew I met him in the shack. That is why you rode out there that evening when you heard the food had disappeared. You knew exactly where to go. Were you there watching us?” she shrieked.
“No. It was more than I wanted to witness. But I did know you met him. I just didn’t know why you met him there. I thought it was because you wanted to be with him, not help him get himself killed.”
“Be quiet! I was not the one that shot him! I couldn’t have stopped him, even if I wanted to!” she cried.
“But you helped him. You encouraged him. He was getting you involved, and you could have gotten killed too, if it had continued and I hadn’t discovered it, or he hadn’t gotten killed.”
“I don’t want to talk about it any longer!” she stood up, “You are spoiling my happiness! You always manage to find a way to spoil things!”
She turned and stomped from the room. Rand shook his head. She was right. He had done nothing but create a gap between them from the very beginning. Even with James dead, she would never consider marrying him, and if he wanted to woo her at all, now he would have to compete with a dead man she claimed she would never stop loving.
Leatrisha sat quietly in her room, waiting for the house to become quiet. She heard a door open, and peeked out of the crack of her door, to see if it was Rand coming out of his room. Instead, she saw Mazy coming out of her room, and then opening Rand’s door. At first she felt her heat fall, but then she decided that was perfect. Rand would be occupied with Mazy, and he would not hear her leave the house like he apparently had before.
She took the opportunity to scurry down the hall and then the back stairs. This time she took Black Magic out the back of the stable and circled around, through the cotton field and then out onto the road, once she was out of view of the house.
Her heart was beating madly, because in only a few minutes she would be in James’ arms again. She knew he couldn’t be dead!
“James,” Leatrisha cried, as she ran towards his figure, standing in the shadow of the shack.
She threw her arms around his neck, and placed her lips on his, and then suddenly jumped back.
“You aren’t James! Where is James?” she bellowed.
“I’m Nat. Nathan Pickard. I was a friend of James. Before he died, he told me about you. He told me how he was going to marry you. He also said you would be willing to help in the cause. He said to tie the bandana around the tree, and you would know to meet me here,” he told her in a low serious voice.
“He is really dead?” she sobbed.
“I held him when he took his last breath. But the good news is, we managed to get the family out safe, in spite of what happened. He didn’t die in vain!”
“Then you are still helping slaves escape?” she asked, blinking back the tears.
“Nothing will stop us, Lettie. But we can use all the help that we can get, and now that James isn’t here to help us any longer…”
“I can’t let you keep the slaves here,” she said hastily. “Come on,” she whispered, looking over her shoulder. “It is not safe to talk here.”
She swung up on Black Magic’s back. They rode into the woods, and Leatrisha pulled her horse to a stop.
“Rand knows I helped the slaves. It isn’t safe to bring them her any longer, but I know the woods. I know places to hide in the woods, where they won’t be found during the day, and I could help guide them through the woods at night. Getting food is going to be hard, unless I get it a little bit at a time, and stock pile it until we need it. I think I can still get away with hiding food in the cellar of the shack, because Rand knows James is dead, and the only reason I helped was because I loved him. But now I shall help to revenge his death,” she vowed.
“We’ve never had a woman agent before. It is too dangerous,” he insisted.
“Do I look like a woman to you?” she asked. “I can ride better than any man I know, and I ride in the woods almost every day. I know it like the back of my hand. Get me a gun and teach me how to shoot, and I will be as good as any man,” she insisted. “I can’t sit around doing nothing when I know slaves are suffering. You said you needed help, and I’m not afraid to help. Even if I get shot, it will be worth it. James was w
illing to risk his life for the cause, and so am I.”
“I will have to talk to the Conductor in charge. He is the one who decides which slaves, or what we call cargo will be helped. Once he lets us know, we take them through the woods and then to the Missouri river, where they are taken on into Illinois.
“There is a whole network of different ways to get them to the north from there. None of us know anything but our own area. We don’t know more than a couple of stations, or safe houses. That way no one can give enough information to do the slave catchers any good, if they get caught.”
“When is your next transport?” Leatrisha asked.
“Next week. I’ll tie another bandana on the tree,” he told her. “Then you will know we will be bringing the cargo that night. If you can get them safe through the woods in the dark, and show us a place to hide them during the day, then you can head back. I’ll stay on to take them on down to the river where a boat will be waiting to take them from there.”
“You can count on me, Nat. What about a gun? Do you think you can get me one? If someone is going to be shooting at me, I want to be able to shoot back.”
“I think I can manage it, but how are you going to get away to practice shooting?”
“Tomorrow, I will go through the woods, and down to the river, and meet you there. Will you be able to come?”
Just thinking about it caused excitement to wash over her.
“All right. Maybe you can show me where you think we can hide the cargo while you are about it.”
“There are a couple of places I have in mind. I’ll go out early so I can decide which place would work best,” she suggested.
“You know where the old ferry landing is? They don’t use it any more. We could probably meet there,” Nat recommended. “Just make sure you keep the gun hidden, once you get it, so no questions will be asked.”
“I will be careful,” Leatrisha assured him. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Good. Then I will see you tomorrow.”
Leatrisha started to turn Black Magic, but he reached out and touched her hand from where he was sitting on his horse, and Leatrisha paused, turning to look at him.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am about James. He lost his life because he tried to save me from getting shot. Your man was a good human being, through and through.”
“I know,” Leatrisha mumbled. “It just took me too long to realize it, and now he is gone.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Leatrisha, slowly opened her bedroom door, and walked inside. It was then, she realized the lamp on her side table had been lit, and the soft glow illuminated the face of Rand who sat on her bed with his arms crossed over his chest.
“I suppose you have a good explanation, as to where you have been,” he said in a low voice.
She couldn’t tell if he was mad, or just curious.
“Yes I do,” she said. “Not that it is any of your business.”
“Everything that happens on my plantation, is my business, Lettie. You can’t be sneaking out at night like this.”
“I went to the shack.” She decided to stick as closely to the truth as she could, since Rand always managed to read her thoughts. “It was the last place I had been with James. I went there to remember. Do you want to hear more? Do you want me to tell you what I was remembering? I could go into all the detail that you want, Rand, if you are really interested in my every move, and my every thought.”
Rand shook his head. “I was worried about you, Lettie. You are so unpredictable!”
“You know, I actually believed he would be there. I wanted to be with him so bad, that I thought if I went out there, he would be there waiting to take me into his arms.
“But you were right, I need to face the fact that he is dead. He gave his life in helping others. People think he was a criminal, but I believe he was a hero. I saw Mazy go into your room, and…well I wanted something like that with James again, so I went out and got on Black Magic and rode out there.”
“Come here, Lettie,” Rand, whispered, patting the bed, and Leatrisha went and sat down beside him.
“You know I am responsible for your well being. If anything happened to you while you were here on my plantation, I could never forgive myself. I don’t like you going out at night by yourself. No one knows where you are. What if something happened?”
“What if I take Theodore with me?” she asked. “I like riding at night. It is quiet, and there is no one about. No workers in the fields, nothing. I feel so…so part of the night. Part of the stars and the heavens. One little speck on earth that doesn’t seem to make much of a difference except for the fact that I am here. Don’t say I can’t go out at night anymore,” she begged.
“I’ll go with you, if you want to ride at night,” Rand offered.
“No! It wouldn’t be the same. You would spoil everything. You would always be cautioning me about every move I make, telling me how dangerous it is. I could never feel free, if you came!”
Rand swallowed hard. She didn’t even like having him around her. He was too much like a father figure to her, trying to get her to grow up and see reason. He thought how exhilarating it would be to go out riding at night with Leatrisha, and felt hurt that she didn’t want him along.
Leatrisha seemed to sense that she had upset him with her words.
“You are like a mother hen,” she whispered. “You worry about me too much, Rand. You have to give me room to breath!”
Rand put his arm around her shoulder.
“It is because I care about you so much, Lettie. You have become an important part of this plantation, whether you or I want to admit it or not. If you ever left, the slaves would probably refuse to work any longer. I would miss you terribly, and what about Theodore? What would he ever do when you finally leave? And worse yet, if anything happened to you before it was time for you to leave, I don’t know what I would do. Don’t you understand, Lettie? You mean too much to me. You mean too much to everyone on this plantation!”
“I will be extra careful. I will take Theodore with me. If anything happened to me, he would be there to help, or go get help. You hold on to me too tight, Rand. It is not like I am really going be become your wife someday. We both know this is just to keep Monica at a distance, but sometimes, I think you start to forget that.”
“You’re right. I do sometimes start to forget that. It is hard to imagine you not being here someday. It has just been a few months since you came, and it seems like you were always a part of the place.”
“I won’t go out every night. Just once in awhile, Rand. I just don’t want you to worry about me so much.”
Rand shook his head. “You know just how to get me to let you get away with what ever you want,” he smiled.
“Well, while I am about it, Theodoree and I are going to go out riding tomorrow. I thought I would pack a lunch, because I will probably be gone most of the day. I just don’t want you worrying about me.”
“Well at least you seem to be getting back to your old self again, Lettie.” He stood up. “By the way, Mazy did come to my room, but you must not have stuck around to discover that I sent her back to her own room. I seem to have lost my desire to have her in my bed. I have been worrying about you too much to focus on my own physical needs.”
“I’m sorry if I worry you that much, Rand.”
“If you didn’t, then I would start worrying why you weren’t,” he chuckled. “You see, Lettie, as much as I worry about you, I just can’t imagine you being any other way but how you are. I just wish you would let me share in your adventures sometimes.”
“I do not think my adventures would interest you that much,” Leatrisha chuckled.
And if he ever discovered what they were, he would end up tying her to her bed every night, she admitted to herself.
Theodore rode out behind Leatrisha, as she headed through the woods.
“Listen to me, Theodore, I am going to tell you something very important, and very
secret. If anyone found out, even the master, even any of your family, it would mean that we could be put in prison, or even worse, so you have to promise never to mention a word about what I am going to tell you, and what we are going to do.”
Theodore’s eyes widened, he worried about his mistress as much as Rand did, only he got to be at her side most of the time, and he was determined to protect her and if keeping a secret was the only way to protect her, he was willing to do it.
“James got killed because he was helping run away slaves get to the north. I am going to take his place, and you are going to come, because Rand will not let me ride out at night, unless I bring you along with me. But you will be helping your black brothers escape from masters that treat them much worse than Rand would ever treat you. If you were treated that way, I would help you escape as well,” she smiled. “Today I am going out to learn to shoot a gun, so I can protect both you and me. It might be a good idea if you learn to shoot it too just in case you may be put in a position to have to use a gun to protect yourself, as well.”
“Dhat sounds likes fun,” Theodore smiled. “I don’ minds havin’ an adventure, longs as you is along,” Theodore told her.
“Good,” Leatrisha responded. She could breath easier now, that she knew Theodore would cooperate. Of course she never really doubted him, but she wondered if it was fair to put him in as much danger as she was putting herself in.
“I want to go check on a couple of places where we can hide the escaping slaves during the day,” she told Theodore, as she turned Black Magic, deeper into the woods. “Remember that time we were following that fox? There was a stream, and not far from it, I thought I saw a cave. Let’s go see how big it is.”
Leatrisha wound her way through the trees, as the sun filtered down, with fingers of light, turning the woods into a wonderland of floating cottonwood down suspended in the light, appearing like fairies dancing about their heads. Theodore’s black hair became speckled with the white down, and Leatrisha giggled at the sight. The woods opened into a clearing, and then the land fell away, leading down to the stream.
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