“What is it, Lettie? Are you not feeling well tonight? You look frightened. There is nothing to worry about, you know.”
He did not want her to back out and excuse herself from this special night.
“I do feel a little ill, but it is not because…well I am frightened, but not why you think,” she faltered.
“Then what is it?” he asked anxiously, taking her hands in his.
“I have to confess something to you, and it may anger you. You may send me back to England, and I won’t blame you if you do…”
“What kind of trouble are you in now, Lettie? Does it have to do with Nat?” he frowned, thinking it had something to do with her insisting to see Nat when they were in town.
“No. It has nothing to do with Nat,” she whispered.
“Then tell me what it concerns,” he demanded, starting to feel impatient with her, for trying to spoil the one night he needed to go smoothly.
“It concerns me…” she said quietly, and then added, “...and James.”
“You and James?” It didn’t make sense, because James was dead.
“I…I…believe that…well I am almost certain that…It appears that…”
“What, Lettie? Spit it out, girl!” Rand encouraged, as he took her by the shoulders.
“It seems that I may be…with James’ child. I am almost certain of it!”
There, she had finally gotten it out, and she looked up beseechingly into Rand’s eyes.
Rand widened his eyes, and then he opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Then he just stood there and stared at her, as though he didn’t know what to say. Leatrisha began to tremble beneath his fists clutching her arms a little tighter now, and she was waiting for him to demand that she leave his sight.
His mouth was ridged, unmoving, and he closed his eyes for a moment, as though gaining some sort of inner strength to say what it was he planned to say. Leatrisha held her breath, as her heart echoed louder in her ears.
“There is only one thing I can do, Lettie, and you know it,” he said quietly.
“I won’t blame you, if you send me back to England,” she whispered.
“That wasn’t what I had in mind,” he said, gazing down in her hypnotic green eyes.
“What…did….you have in mind,” her voice shook.
“I will have to marry you, whether you like it or not. You cannot end up being an unwed mother. It will be blamed on me, since no one knew of your relationship with James. We will announce tonight that the wedding will be in two weeks.”
“Marry you? You said you would never marry me!”
“You have forced my hand, Lettie. There is a part of me that still strives to be a gentleman, you know.”
“You would marry me out of duty, when you know it would never work between us, and the child I carry doesn’t even belong to you?”
“Your father would have put you in a similar position. If I sent you back, he could very well force you to marry someone, and fool the man into thinking you were having his child. At least I know who the child belongs to, and I am marrying you of my own free will. The question is, will you agree?”
He looked hopefully into her face. This was not the way he had planned it to work, but if this was the only way he could have her, he was willing to risk her displeasure in the idea, and perhaps he could persuade her to change her attitude about him once they were safely married.
“It is my own fault,” she mumbled. “If there is no other choice, I will submit, but you don’t have to do this, Rand. No one needs to know. You could send me away, and I will have my father pay you my indenture. Then I won’t be indebted to you.”
“I’ve already sent Mazy away, Lettie. You will be the only woman I take to my bed now.” He knew how much she seemed to dislike him taking Mazy to his bed.
She knew it. Instead of becoming his mistress, he would go so far as to marry her, in order to assure he have her in his bed, even if it means claiming James’ child as his own. He had planned to find a way to persuade her from the beginning, only she had gone to James instead, and spoiled his plans of taking her virginity in his own due time.
“I have already promised you all the kisses you want,” she said quietly. “I suppose a little more than that, would be tolerable,” she whimpered.
“I hope it is not just tolerable, Lettie. You one time begged me to do more than just touch you. Perhaps now your wish will be granted.” He lowered his arms to her waist. “I believe I will take one of those promised kisses, now,” he whispered, and she obediently lifted her head, trembling as he took his time, before he allowed their lips to touch. “You won’t regret this, Lettie,” he whispered against her lips. “I will take good care of you, and your baby.”
Then he gently pulled her lips into his mouth, going slowly so he didn’t frighten her away. He was so worried she would get on her horse and ride away in the night, as usual, but this time, never return to him. Somehow he had to persuade her to want to stay. When their lips parted, Rand gave her a reassuring smile.
“I will accept the child as my own, Lettie. It should never know who its true father is, seeing as how, James had no inheritance, and it may well end up inheriting Ravenswood.”
“You would let it inherit your estate over a true child of your own?” she marveled. “I could give it my inheritance,” she offered.
“There is a long time before we would have to worry about that, Lettie. If truth be known, I believe you are the only woman I have ever met that I do not worry about helping me run Ravenswood. You took to it the moment you came. All the slaves will be overjoyed to have you as their true mistress.”
“You trust me to help you run the plantation?” she gasped. She was the last person qualified to do that, seeing as how she was helping other plantation slaves to escape their masters. If she was ever found out, it would ruin Rand.
“You can’t marry me, Rand. I am not the person to help you run your plantation,” she balked.
She hadn’t thought of the danger she would put Rand in if she actually did marry him.
“You know how I am constantly doing things you disapprove of. I would make a mistake, and you would end up suffering for it.”
“I’ll teach you, Lettie. I have faith in you!”
He shouldn’t, she thought bitterly to herself. If she remained here, she could not back down from helping the Freedom Train, not even to please Rand. She was torn. But if she left, she would not be able to help the Freedom Train at all. The only way to help it was to remain, and risk causing Rand to hate her forever.
“You may regret ever insisting I marry you,” she said quietly, dreading the fact that somehow she would destroy Rand by becoming his wife.
“I know we have our disagreements, Lettie. But rest assured, once I make a decision, I try not to regret it. The time is wasting. We need to go down and greet our guests. Do you know anything about tying a man’s tie?”
“I have helped my father before,” she smiled, reaching her small hands up and turning the material in and out of itself.
Rand liked the feel of her fingers at his neck, pulling the ends of the tie even, and patting the knot, when she finished.
“Thank you,” he murmured, when she had finished. “I will be looking forward to you helping me with my tie in the future, my dear.” He took her small hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing the tips of her fingers. “To many future years, of these hands tying my tie,” he smiled, and then placed her hand through his elbow, as he led her downstairs.
He could not remember a time he had felt more happy than he did at that moment. Regret marrying her? Never!
Leatrisha stood beside Rand, as their guests arrived, greeting them in the entrance hall. When Nat came through, looking very nice in his smart suit, he kissed Leatrisha’s hand and then gave her a quick wink, but she could not meet his eyes. She was afraid because he thought this was all pretend, and now it would turn out to be real.
Nat would help her escape, if she
asked him to, but where would she go? The only place for her was either here, or in England. At least here she could distract herself from Rand marrying her out of duty, and to have her in his bed, by having a far greater purpose to occupy herself. But at the same time, she had to be doubly careful never to be caught. It would be better if she were killed, she thought. Then Rand would be free of her and the baby. He could deny that he knew anything about her activities, which would be the truth.
If she went back to England, she would face future years of boredom running some stuffy estate, and going to teas and charity events. Fooling some man she probably couldn’t stand into marrying her, and then suffering with his hands all over her. At least she knew how Rand’s hands felt. The thought of it, caused her heart to give a little leap. It had been so long since Rand had touched her, that a part of her longed for that experience again.
“Don’t look so frightened,” Rand whispered in her ear. “Everything will be just fine, I promise. I can’t wait to see Monica’s face when she discovers I shall be marrying you in two week’s time.”
Oh, of course, that was another asset to marrying her, Leatrisha grumbled to herself. It was his way to spite Monica! She tried to give him a smile, but was having a hard time turning up the corners of her mouth. Even in Marriage Rand would still own her, she thought. Only after six years she would never be freed.
At last all the guests had assembled in the ball room, which was created by opening up the dinning room and the great hall, by pushing the envelope doors all the way open. Rand led Leatrisha to the head of the room and called for everyone’s attention.
“I would like to make an announcement,” he called out in his booming voice, and the room silenced. “As you all know, this gathering is to celebrate the fact that I have finally found my bride. But what you don’t know, is that the wedding will be held in two weeks time, at the chapel in Huntsville, and you are all invited.”
When he said the words, the room filled with applause, and Leatrisha could not help but notice the puzzled look on Nat’s face. But she did not have time to contemplate it, because the instruments had begun to play, and Rand led Leatrisha out onto the floor to share the first waltz with her.
She was feeling dizzy, as Rand turned her about the floor, and she hoped she was not going to be sick, and mortify them both. Leatrisha clung more tightly to Rand’s shoulder, holding herself against him, clutching his hand nervously in her own.
“It will be fine,” he whispered in her ear. “The night will be over before you know it.”
As the dance ended, Nat was at her side, requesting the next dance, and though Rand frowned at him, Leatrisha ignored, it and gave Nat a welcoming smile. As the music started again, Nat pulled her into the dance.
“A pretend marriage?” he asked as he led her about the floor.
“I wish,” she shivered. “It was not a mistress he wanted in his bed, but a wife,” she admitted.
“Couldn’t you turn him down?” Nat asked.
“It was already believed we were engaged. He refused to send me back to England. I asked him to. Besides this way I can remain and help the Freedom Train,” she added.
“What if he discovers your part in it?” Nat asked, fearing what Rand might do to her. Husbands had the right to beat their wives, and no one could stop them.
“I shall be careful. He is starting to trust me more, even though heaven knows I don’t deserve his trust. I should hate to bring him down, if I am caught.”
“So there is no way to get out of it?” he asked.
“Short of running away, no. And I won’t run away. There is no place for me to go.”
“You could go with me. We could go farther up the river and help at the other end of the line,” he offered.
“I can’t, Nat. In fact I won’t be able to help much longer with the freedom train as it is. I will be having a baby. James’ baby.”
“Does he know?” Nat asked, taken aback a bit.
“That is why he offered to marry me. He has to protect my honor and his, considering I have been staying in his house and he will be suspected to be the father. But once the baby is born, I can get a nanny to care for it, and start helping again,” she assured him.
“Lettie, I worry about you,” he murmured. “What if you get shot like James?”
“It will be the best end then, Nat. Rand will be free of me and my illegitimate child.”
“Don’t take risks just to assure that end,” Nat cautioned.
“I won’t. I want to help the cause, and if I am dead, what good would I be then?”
“There is going to be another run next week. I will tie the bandana to let you know,” he whispered.
“I will watch for it,” she promised. The dance had ended, and Nat bowed his head at her. “Best not dance with me again,” Leatrisha cautioned. “Rand does not like you as it is, because of the kissing incident.”
“I can well understand his jealousy,” Nat smiled. “I would feel the same way, if it were the other way around.”
Rand was at her side once more, placing his arms around her, as the music started up again.
“Enjoying yourself?” he asked.
“I am feeling tired, but I think I will hold up a while longer,” she murmured.
“Would you rather sit this dance out?” he asked, looking concerned.
“No,” she responded, laying her head on his shoulder. “Just hold me up, so I don’t trip and embarrass myself.”
“I will always be here to hold you up, darling,” he whispered, placing a light kiss on her lips that were turned to him.
“I sort of figured you would be,” she smiled.
Leatrisha watched as Monica claimed a dance with Rand. She knew Rand was not interested in her, so she paid little attention, as she accepted a dance with Mr. Staples.
“More slaves have managed to escape,” Mr. Staples, informed her as he held her at the proper arms length.
“It seems to have become an epidemic,” Leatrisha responded.
“They are bringing in more bounty hunters and detectives to try and take care of the problem. It is not as bad in Missouri as it is in other states, but it seems like the whole north is bound and determined to put a stop to the south’s prosperity! They even tried to vote Missouri as a non-slave state, but we put an end to that nonsense!”
“Rand tells me that this belt along the Missouri river was settled by Southern plantation owners, and they were the ones who brought the slaves here in the first place,” Leatrisha mentioned.
“It is our right to make a living in the same style we were used to doing it in the south. Why should they allow slaves in one part of the union, and then ban them in another part? It makes life too complicated. You don’t know who are free blacks and who are slaves. It makes it easier for the slaves to escape. I have heard that free blacks come into plantations, pretending to be slaves, and then stir everyone up, telling them how to be free and escape the people who rightfully own them!” he grumbled.
“So you believe it is right for one human being to own another? What if it was the other way around? What if some powerful country came to our shores, and captured you, making you into their slave? Do you think you would enjoy it?”
“We are civilized people. The blacks are heathens, who neither know how to read or write. They are ignorant people, only one notch above a beast of burden, considering they can reason and speak a language. We have done them a favor by saving them from their heathen ways. Giving them a religion; Putting clothes on their backs; Furnishing them with food that they would otherwise have to spend all day hunting for.”
“In exchange for total allegiance to a master they have no reason to respect?” Leatrisha laughed. “Instead of hunting all day for their food. Now they have to work all day for their food. Even as kind as Rand is to his slaves, they are still his property, and he can separate families, in order to make a profit. What the white man has taken from the black man is his freedom of choice. The most treasured p
ossession a person can have, as far as I am concerned.”
“Then you are against slavery? Yet you plan to marry a slave owner?” Mr. Staples looked closely into her face.
“Sometimes life presents us with hard choices, Mr. Staples. But at least I have the freedom to make them one way or another,” she smiled. “The slaves have no choice, but to submit to their owners.”
“I understand you have a personal slave. The young boy I tried to buy,” he reminded her.
“Theodore is more of a friend, than a slave. Eventually I will give him his freedom,” she informed him.
“Does Rand know of your intentions?” he wanted to know.
“Rand told me I could do as I please with him, so he would never prevent me from releasing the boy if I chose to. Problem is, he is like my shadow, and probably would not leave, even if I gave him his freedom.”
“Which just goes to show, that slaves depend on their masters. You could free them all and they would be lost. They don’t want to make their own choices, my girl. They expect us to make it for them.”
“Which you will gladly do,” Leatrisha laughed, as the dance ended.
Rand could see that the festivities were starting to tire, Leatrisha, and knowing her condition, he asked her if she would like to retire for the night, and he would give everyone her excuses.
“Thank you, Rand,” she smiled. “You can be very thoughtful, when I least expect it.”
“I hope to always be thoughtful with you, Lettie. I will come and say good-night, before I retire,” he promised, kissing her hand, and then watching her climb the stairs, to her room.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Lettie, you can’t go out tonight. Our wedding is in a week, and you have been looking too tired. You think I don’t notice that you have been heaving in the mornings?” Rand insisted, as they sat across the breakfast table from each other.
“It is normal to heave when one is expecting,” Leatrisha smiled. “It also makes one feel restless. It is hard to go to sleep at night, and if I go out, it will tire me enough so I can close my eyes. This whole wedding decision is making me nervous as it is. I have to work off some energy someway.”
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