Elbows on his thighs, he glanced her way before studying the rose bush opposite them. “I received a call from Chloe’s father yesterday.”
Blythe’s heart raced, her hands growing clammy as fear swept over her. Daniel would not come all this way with good news.
Closing her eyes, she clasped her hands in her lap and did her best to steel herself.
“Chloe has been diagnosed with an aggressive sarcoma.” He continued, mentioning something about treatment, but his words faded into nothingness.
Everything except sarcoma. That one little word had robbed her of what little strength she might have possessed. Chloe had a sarcoma. Just like Miranda.
She pressed her lips tightly together to keep from sobbing as hot tears streaked down her cheeks. Her body shook with the effort to keep everything inside.
But when Daniel’s warm hand covered her frozen fingers, everything let loose and her grief flooded out.
“Why?” she wailed. “Why?”
He wrapped his arms around her and tried to console her, but there was too much sorrow to be contained. For Chloe, for Miranda and for herself. Cancer was evil. A vicious attacker claiming one innocent life after another. Tearing apart families and laying waste to hopes and dreams. She hated the dreaded disease with every fiber of her being.
“Come on,” Daniel said as he lifted her to her feet. “Let’s get you out of here.”
Twenty minutes ago, she would have argued with him; now she didn’t have the strength. He loaded her into his SUV, then climbed behind the wheel.
“Give me your address.”
When his words finally registered, she tearfully complied before another round of anguish enveloped her. The next thing she knew, they were pulling up to her apartment building.
“How?” Then she recalled hearing a voice coming from his phone. He’d typed her address into the GPS.
She struggled to open her door until Daniel intervened.
He helped her out of the vehicle, but still held her close. “Which way are we headed?”
She pointed to the building in front of them. “Second floor.” Her chin trembled, making her words come out shaky. “Number tw-twenty-two twenty-five.”
Once they were inside, Blythe grabbed the furry pink blanket from the back of her sofa and wrapped it around her. She was so cold.
“Can I get you anything?” Daniel never left her side.
“No, I’m—” The sight of the Camp Sneffels T-shirt draped over the back of one of her dining chairs had her pain swelling once more. At least this time her tears were silent. “First Miranda, now Chloe. What is wrong with me?”
“Miranda?” Daniel looked confused. “She was your friend from your camp, right?”
She nodded. “Our friendship continued even after camp. And we were so close.” She sniffed. “Then Miranda was diagnosed with a sarcoma and—” Her voice cracked. “She was gone.”
“Oh, Blythe.” He pulled her close and held her. When her cries rose again, he scooped her up, carried her to the couch and remained at her side. “I know you miss your friend, but this is good news with Chloe. Not only is she still with us, but the treatments—”
She shot to her feet. “They said the same thing about Miranda.”
“That was years ago.” He stared up at her. “Things have come a long way since then. I don’t understand why you can’t be more hopeful.”
“Because life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to.”
“I’m aware of that. But I still believe God has a plan. At least Chloe is willing to fight. You’ve given up on her. As someone once said to me, where’s your faith?”
Anger swelled within her. “What happened to Miranda wasn’t right. What Chloe’s going through isn’t right. So, forgive me, but how am I supposed to trust God when He allows stuff like that to happen?”
Without so much as flinching, Daniel said, “Jesus was without sin. Yet He was nailed to a cross and died so that sinners like us could live.”
They stared at each other for the longest time. Until Daniel finally said, “Why did you decide not to come back to Ouray?”
Forcing herself not to look away, she said, “I have breast cancer.”
* * *
Daniel felt as though he’d been punched in the gut. Air whooshed from his lungs, and he wanted to double over from the agony of Blythe’s words.
Breast cancer. The very thing that had stolen his mother away. But not before she’d pushed through the torture of two surgeries and multiple rounds of chemotherapy. Watching Mama slowly fade away was the most excruciating experience of Daniel’s life. One he never wanted to go through again.
Until now.
If Blythe had cancer he wanted to fight this battle with her, alongside her, carrying her, if need be. But, oh, how he prayed they would be victorious.
Standing, he moved around the glass-topped coffee table until he was beside her. “When did you find this out?”
“Wednesday.” Clearing her throat, she tossed the blanket aside and squared her shoulders, woefully attempting to be brave. “It was supposed to be a routine mammogram. But there was nothing routine about it. Now I’m just waiting to see an oncologist, but a mastectomy will likely be in order. Probably chemotherapy—”
“Whoa, hold on.” He held up a hand. “You haven’t even seen your cancer doctor, and you’re already assuming the worst?”
Though her eyes were still rimmed with red, her tears had vanished. Her expression was very matter-of-fact. “I’m just trying to keep things real.”
“Well, you’re not doing a very good job of it.” He studied her a moment: the tailored navy pantsuit with the white button-down blouse, the slicked-back hair, although it was now slightly disheveled. This was not the Blythe he’d come to know and love. This was the Blythe who sought to control every aspect of her life. The one who played things safe. The one who refused to take any risks. And love was a big risk. Especially with her life suddenly spiraling out of control.
His eyes never left her. “Why didn’t you tell me, Blythe? I mean, we’re supposed to be in a relationship here. Or at least that’s what I thought. People who care about each other share things, good or bad, so they can weather the storms together.”
“Perhaps.” She picked up the blanket and began to fold it. “Or maybe it’s just better to end things and go our separate ways.”
He couldn’t believe his ears. “Do you really believe that? Better for who, anyway? Certainly not me. I don’t want to be separated from you, Blythe. These last few days without you have been unbearable. And proved to me the one thing I suspected all along.”
She set the blanket over the arm of the white chair. “What’s that?”
“That not only do I love you, I want to share my life with you.” He heard her quick intake of air, but she quickly recovered.
Moving to the window to the right of the small fireplace, she said, “That’s when you thought I was healthy.”
“Oh, like that’s supposed to make a difference.” Incredulous, he made his way across the beige carpet until he was behind her. “I told you I loved you, Blythe, and I meant it. Do you think cancer is going to change how I feel about you? Like love is something I can just switch on and off at will?”
She continued to peer through the blinds, refusing to look at him.
Reaching out, he rubbed her upper arms. “Don’t do this, Blythe. Don’t shut me out. Please.”
“I’m not shutting you out, Daniel. I’m giving you an out.”
He turned her to face him then, the fruity, floral scent of her perfume enveloping him as he encouraged her to meet his gaze. “I don’t want out. I want to be right here beside you. Forever.”
Her hazel eyes searched his and, for a moment, he dared to hope. “I’m sorry, Daniel. That’s something I just can’t do. Because forever doesn’t co
me with a guarantee.”
He let go a sigh and touched his forehead to hers. “I know you’re afraid, Blythe. Cancer is scary. But would you rather be afraid alone or together with someone who’s willing to walk through the fire with you?”
She pulled away then, pain marring her beautiful features. Turning on her high-heeled shoes, she moved from the living room, past the open kitchen and dining area to the spot where they’d entered. She twisted the deadbolt and swung open the door.
“I think it would be best if you leave.”
His heart ached in so many different ways. Standing in her nicely appointed living room where nothing was out of place, he couldn’t help feeling as though he’d let her down. Blythe was hurting. Big-time. And there was nothing he could do to stop it or make it better. Nothing she’d allow him to do. Leaving him with only one option.
He moved to the door. “Would you like me to take you back to work?”
“No, I’m good.”
He surreptitiously shook his head. Blythe was anything but good. Her world was crashing in. Because of Chloe, because of Miranda... Because of the uncertainty hovering over her like a storm cloud. And it was tearing him apart to watch her withdraw. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to be with her, comfort her, care for her.
But that wasn’t what Blythe wanted. So he would go and pray that somehow, someway, she would come to her senses and reach out to him.
Looking down at her, seeing the unspoken terror in her eyes, a lump formed in his throat. He struggled to swallow it away.
“Just so you’ll know, Dr. Joel is one of the top cancer doctors in the nation. And he’s just up the road from Ouray, in Montrose. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to see you.” With that, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Goodbye, Blythe.”
It took every ounce of willpower Daniel possessed to turn and propel himself down the stairs. He despised that he was walking away. Even though it didn’t mean he was giving up.
Blythe—the real Blythe with the tender heart and newfound passion for life—was too precious to give up on. He’d give her time to work through the grieving process and then he’d be back.
What if she pushes you away again?
Then he might have to start pushing back.
Crossing the parking lot, he clicked the fob to unlock his SUV.
He would not let Blythe go without a fight. She needed him as much as he and Camp Sneffels needed her. Maybe even more. So, for now, he would help her fight this battle on his knees, praying God would not only heal her, but bring her back. And when that happened, Daniel would never let her go again.
Chapter Eighteen
Blythe moved into her bedroom and watched out the window as Daniel got into his SUV. He was gone. On his way back to Ouray. Without her.
Isn’t that what you wanted?
Yes. No. She dropped her head into her hands. I don’t know what I want.
The tears that had nearly choked her as she struggled to keep them hidden while saying goodbye to Daniel now streamed down her face. She’d cried so much these last few days that she was surprised she had any tears left. And yet they seemed to keep coming.
She thought about Chloe and her brilliant smile as she zoomed through the trees on the zip line. The way she’d been willing to put aside her own desires for her friend. And how she had touched Blythe’s heart.
Tugging off her jacket, she dropped onto the side of the bed. Why did Chloe have to get sick? The question played on a continuous loop through her mind until she thought she might go mad. She needed to go back to work. Whether she wanted to or not. She’d missed too much time already. And maybe it would help to focus her mind on something else.
Hearing her phone ring, she hurried into the other room and scrambled to retrieve it from her purse before it went to voice mail.
“Hello?”
“Why aren’t you at work?” Jenna scolded on the other end of the line.
“How do you know that?”
“Because I just dropped by with lunch and you weren’t there.”
She kicked out of her shoes. “I’m at home.”
“And I can tell you’ve been crying. I’m on my way.”
Twenty minutes later, she and Jenna were standing beside her wood and metal bistro table, unpacking the chicken nuggets and waffle fries Jenna had brought.
“So, adventure boy showed up at your office?” Jenna and her nicknames.
“Yes. Remember the little girl I told you about? Chloe? The one that got sick and had to leave camp.”
“Uh-huh.” Jenna bit into a waffle fry.
Blythe lifted a shoulder, trying to maintain her composure. Or at least what little was left of it. “She has a sarcoma.”
Her sister’s dark eyes widened. “Oh, no.” She promptly dusted off her hands and stretched her arms around Blythe. “Are they going to be able to treat it?”
“They’re going to try.” Blythe pulled away. “She was such a precious girl.” She’d taught Blythe to feel again. Although, right now, all she wanted was to feel nothing.
Reaching for a nugget, Jenna shot her a curious glance. “What do you mean was? Chloe is still a precious girl.”
Peeling off the top of a special sauce cup, Blythe froze as Daniel’s words played across her mind. You’ve given up on her. She remembered staying by Chloe’s side while she was sick at camp, holding her hand, doing whatever she could to make her comfortable and praying that she would be all right. Now she’d all but written Chloe off.
“Yes, that’s what I meant.”
Jenna pulled out an industrial-style chair and sat down. “What I don’t get is why Daniel came all the way to Denver to tell you.”
Blythe grabbed her lidded cup of lemonade and took her own seat. “Because I hadn’t answered any of his calls or responded to his texts, except to tell him that I wouldn’t be back out there for the Fourth.”
One of Jenna’s dark brows lifted. “And...did he bring that up?”
Nodding, Blythe grabbed a nugget and filled her sister in on the details of their conversation.
“Good grief, Blythe.” Jenna fell back in her chair. “Do you have any idea how many women would love to have a man like that? Someone you can count on to be there through thick and thin. Someone with the heart of a hero.”
Blythe dunked a nugget in the sauce before popping it into her mouth. “I know.”
“Uh, no. Obviously you don’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t have sent him away. Especially when you’re in love with him, too. For crying out loud, what is wrong with you?”
Blythe rolled her puffy eyes. “We’ve been over this. I don’t want to burden him.”
“Stop acting as though you’re doing Daniel some big favor by letting him go. You’re being selfish, Blythe. Yes, love involves risk. But shouldn’t he be the one to decide if he’s willing to hang around or not?”
Blythe found herself blinking rapidly again. “I don’t want to end up hurt.”
Her sister heaved an exasperated sigh. “Baby girl, you are your own worst enemy.” Reaching across the table, she took hold of Blythe’s hand. “You’re already hurting. For once, can’t you allow yourself to be happy?”
“I was, while I was at camp. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. And I can’t tell you how free I felt. Like I could do almost anything.”
The brow arched higher this time. “I don’t suppose Daniel had anything to do with that, did he?”
As much as she wanted to deny it... “He encouraged me. Supported me. Believed in me.” She grabbed a waffle fry and dunked it in some ketchup. “Outside of you, he’s the only person who’s ever done that.”
“And you loved him for it.”
Blythe stared absently at the uneaten fry. “No. I love him for it.” She lifted her gaze to her sister’s. “I still love him, Jenna.”
Her siste
r smiled. “I was wondering when you were going to figure that out. Question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m not sure.” Blythe gathered up her trash and took it into the kitchen.
Dr. Joel is one of the top cancer doctors in the nation.
She liked Dr. Joel. And since she was being forced to find a new doctor anyway...
Except that would mean returning to Ouray. And at the moment, that was a terrifying thought. She’d sent Daniel on his way. Wouldn’t it be best to leave well enough alone?
“You could start by having a little more faith in the guy,” her sister offered.
“Since when have I ever been good at exercising any kind of trust?”
What about when you were on that zip line?
Blythe stopped short of the wastebasket.
She had trusted, hadn’t she? In a piece of equipment, no less.
Stepping on the foot pedal to lift the lid, she dropped the trash in the receptacle and swallowed hard. God, You know trust doesn’t come easy to me. Help me. Teach me how to trust in You and in Daniel.
She turned and started for the bathroom to fix her hair and her face. “Jenna, I need you to take me back to work. But first, I need to make a phone call.”
* * *
Daniel sat in the camp office Saturday afternoon, a warm breeze sifting through the open windows as he stared at a twelve-month calendar without really seeing it at all. He’d come up there mostly so he could be alone. But he also wanted to nail down dates for next year’s camps. Yet no matter how hard he tried to focus, his mind kept wandering back to Denver and a certain hazel-eyed woman who’d laid claim to his heart.
Yesterday Blythe had complained that Chloe’s sarcoma wasn’t right. Well, it wasn’t right that Blythe was facing cancer for a second time, either. And it wasn’t right that she was punishing Daniel when all he wanted to do was help.
I’m giving you an out.
No, she wasn’t. She was pushing him away. Was she that eager to be rid of him?
In his heart he knew better. She was afraid that he would change his mind. Didn’t she know him better than that?
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