by Hart, Cary
“Clo—” Austin takes a step forward, closing the distance between us. “This isn’t you.”
“What do you mean this isn’t me?” I hold out my arms. “I’m still the same girl next door. I haven’t changed.”
“But you have.” He tries to rationalize with me. “Since Jeffery broke up with you, you’ve been on this mission when—”
“Oh, please.” I barrel toward him until we’re face-to-face. “It’s okay for Dr. Feelgood to have his cake and eat it too, but I can’t. You pick up, use, and dispose of women right and left.” I jab my finger at his chest. “That’s disgusting.”
“I have never treated any woman I have been with like that,” he bites back. “You act like I’m some whore, but I have never disrespected them. If anything, they were the ones using me.” He takes his fist and pounds on his chest. “Me.”
“I’m supposed to believe that?”
Austin takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Yes, you are. Because you know me.”
“I thought I did.”
“I’m still the same boy who fucking carried you two miles home when you scraped your knee riding your bike. The same guy who helped you egg the house of the girl who stole your first boyfriend. And the man who held you when you thought you lost the love of your life.” Austin’s eyes begin to water. “That’s who I am.” Austin refuses to look away, even as his lips tremble and his shoulders heave with emotion. He isn’t backing down. “Clover, I haven’t changed.”
Everything he’s saying is true. There hasn’t been a day since we’ve met that we haven’t talked. It didn’t matter who his girlfriend was or the flavor of the month. He always made time for me. Even when Jeffery and I moved in together, we made time. He has been my constant. That is why this hurts so much more than I ever thought it would.
“I know.” I collapse in his arms. Salty drops fall from my chin, drenching his shirt.
“Shh,” he whispers in my ear as he wraps his arms around me. “We’ll get through this. We always do.”
“I’m not sure we can.” My voice is barely audible.
Tipping my head back, I look to gauge his reaction. It nearly ripped my heart out to speak those words.
I stare through my tears at the man who came barging through those doors, desperate to save me from a situation that didn’t need saving. That man—had a purpose. I just need him to admit it. Maybe if he could, things would end up different.
But he can’t, and I’m not sure if he ever will. So, I do the only thing I know how to do and set him free. “Austin, I need you to go.”
He doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t blink. He just turns and walks away.
What have I done?
“Hey.” Owen comes strolling in. “I just passed Austin in the hall.”
I’m not sure what comes over me, maybe it’s everything that happened with Austin…or what didn’t. But seeing Owen standing there looking at me all concerned sends me into emotional overload.
I can cry or I can react. Before I have time to think, I’m moving toward Owen.
I don’t say a word. I just rush forward and fall into Owen’s arms. I need to know.
Is it me? I push the doubt from my mind and press my lips to his.
And instantly, I know. I feel…nothing.
“Clover.” Owen sighs my name like it’s foreign to him. “I think we both know what this is about.” He releases me.
“Austin, it’s not like that. I promise.” I try to convince him of something I’m not even sure of, because kissing him was like kissing my best friend. Only not. Because my dream kiss with Austin was everything. And this…was a mistake.
“Owen.”
“Huh?” I look up in confusion.
“You called me Austin,” Owen points out, taking a step back.
“What are you saying?” I ask, even though I already know.
“I think we both jumped into this for the wrong reasons. Under any other circumstances, maybe we could have worked, because Lord knows you are absolutely amazing.” He smiles shyly at me. “Any guy would be lucky to have you. But I think someone already does. Even if neither of you wants to admit it.”
“Owen, I don’t know what to say.” I begin gathering my things, hoping I don’t make this goodbye awkward.
“I think goodbye is a good place to start.” He smiles and hands me my purse.
“Thanks for understanding.” I lean in, and we share a brief hug. “Thanks for everything.”
“Should I call Thomas?”
“I will when I get downstairs. It’ll give me time to think while I wait.”
“Okay.” He smiles as I turn to walk away. “Clover?”
“Yeah?” I look over my shoulder.
“Good luck.” He winks.
“Thanks.” I smile, glad things aren’t awkward between us.
CHAPTER 28
CLOVER
One night, one moment, can change everything.
I choose my words wisely as I try to figure out what’s going on. All he has to do is tell me why, but this silence between us makes my blood boil. There’s more happening here than he wants to admit—more than either one of us wants to admit.
“So, now all of a sudden you have nothing to say?” The hurt balances out the anger as I walk toward where he sits on the couch.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He won’t meet my eyes.
Tell me why.
I know Austin. Maybe better than I know myself. And something isn’t adding up. “Is this about the show? About Owen?”
“Yes.” He stares up at me, hurt in his own eyes. “Owen isn’t right for you.”
“I know that now.” I give him a small smile.
“You do?” His eyes widen as he continues staring at me.
“For starters, I called him by the wrong name. Apparently, the number one rule to dating is remembering who you’re with.” I try to make light of the situation.
Austin just nods. It’s not exactly what I thought he’d do, but it’s something—and something is better than nothing.
“And when I kissed him, I realized something.” I pause. “Okay, maybe I realized one thing then, and the other on the ride here,” I ramble, unsure of where I’m going with this. All I know is whatever I’m about to say needs to be said.
“I wanted that dream. I wanted that kiss and how it made me feel. The problem? It wasn’t him in my dream.” I turn away and sigh. “Austin, it was you.”
I hear him standing and feel him behind me. His wide palms rest on my shoulders and turn me toward him.
“Clo,” his voice is heavy with emotion, “it wasn’t a dream.” He looks into my eyes.
I’m not sure I heard him right. “What are you talking about?”
“This.” He growls before his mouth slams over mine, robbing me of breath in one hell of a demanding kiss.
It all comes crashing to the surface as his lips move over mine. I’m lost in the moment—in him. His familiar lips. His tongue skims my bottom lip, seeking entry and I don’t deny him. I can’t.
I’ve kissed these lips before. They’ve already claimed me. Just as I realize, I remember everything. He pulls back, and we stare at each other, breathless.
“It was real?” I whisper.
“It was.” He wraps his arms tighter around me as his forehead falls against mine.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I snuggle into his grasp.
“I was afraid it would ruin things…if you didn’t feel the same. I couldn’t chance losing you. Not just you as my friend, but you, us, this—the way I feel about you.”
“And how do you feel about me?” I risk the rejection that could come, but I have to know.
He leans back and gazes at me. “I feel everything. Things I didn’t know were possible. Things I didn’t think I should feel for my friend.”
“Austin.” My hands frame his face.
He leans into my touch. “I need to get this out.”
I don’t say anything. I j
ust stand there and let him explain what he couldn’t admit earlier.
“It killed me after our kiss to watch you go on another date. To think someone else might be kissing this gorgeous, perfect mouth.” His finger traces my lips, and they open in response. “I only wanted to give you the space to find what you were looking for. Your perfect man, your happy ending.”
“It wasn’t about that,” I try to argue.
“Come on, Clo—it’s me you’re talking to.” He takes my face in his hands, and his lips brush over mine as he speaks. “The short dresses, the talk about getting lucky, it wasn’t you—I know you. You might have thought you were looking for a good time, but I know you were hoping to find forever. You’re that kind of girl.”
“Maybe with you, I can have it all.” I surprise us both, flinging my arms over his shoulders to pull him in closer.
We walk backward until I feel the brush of the cool wall against my back.
His name falls from my lips in a moan.
He breathes it in, deepening the kiss. Our tongues tangle. He devours my mouth, until the urgency slows, and our foreheads fall against each other.
My heart hammering out of my chest while his eyes fixate on mine. Austin Montgomery wipes any fear, doubt, and reason for not doing this away. He has cleaned my slate and decided to write his own plan, and I’m going to let him.
Take me.
He’s as close as he can be without physically touching me, but electricity crackles between us, filling the air with a charge. It runs from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. It’s like everything has been leading to this moment, and in just a few seconds, it all shifts into place. He turns me to face the wall.
He reaches for me once more, and goose bumps cover my skin at the anticipation of his touch.
This is really happening.
He presses his entire front against my back, his mouth dropping to my ear. “Can I remove this?” Leaning back, he runs a finger along the nape of my neck and down my spine, dragging the zipper of my dress as he goes. Cool air kisses my skin as he pauses, his wide palms resting at my waist. I nudge my hips against his as he nips my neck, encouraging him, trying to show him what my mouth won’t say.
Pressure builds from the friction of our bodies. I’m desperate for more, needing satisfaction only he can give.
“Clo, you’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now.” He skims his lips across my ear, whispering words of adoration. I never realized how much I needed to hear those words, but him saying them while feeling his warm breath tickle my skin causes my emotions to turn inside out.
Nipping. “Stunning.”
Licking. “Innocent.”
Biting. “Mine.”
“Oh, God.” I melt into him.
“Not God, Clo,” Austin mumbles, smiling against my skin as he feathers tender kisses down my back. “Just a man who has never needed anything more in his entire life. Let me have you.”
“Austin,” I plead. His confession causes a relentless sensation in my already throbbing core.
Grasping the zipper, he breathes into my ear. “Is this what you want?”
I nod.
Slowly, he pulls it down. Inch by inch, he teases me. I’m at serious risk of falling apart if he keeps this up. I want to scream for him to rip it off—anything so I can be under him.
Austin groans his appreciation as he lets it fall to the floor. His hands slide around my hips, and he spins me toward him.
I’ve never felt more exposed, standing in front of the man I have loved all my life as he looks at me with hungry eyes.
His lips curl up in a satisfied smile. “My fucking wet dream.” He reaches out and runs a finger under my bra strap. “Later, this will be gone, but for now, it stays—for me.” He continues his trail as he lowers himself in front of me.
I never thought I would be a part of any man’s fantasy, let alone a wet one. I close my eyes as my body hums with satisfaction. But I need more.
His hands.
His mouth.
His love.
He looks up from under his hooded eyes, promising. “I’m going to kiss every single inch of you.”
I can’t speak, I can’t scream, I can’t do anything but admire the man kneeling in front of me. My prince, my fairy tale.
He runs his palms up my front. “From here…” he trails his finger over the lace and drags it down, circling my navel, “to here…” down to the top of my soft pink sheer panties, “to here.”
I gulp.
Yes, right there.
“Tell me.”
He waits for me, asking if he can have me, taste me, pleading for me to let him lose control.
Words disappear, but I nod frantically.
Austin rises to his feet as he stares at me with complete intent, drinking me in. There is nothing friendly about this. He’s starving, and I’m about to be his next meal.
Austin stands as he crashes his mouth to mine, accepting me for everything I am and taking everything he knows we can be. This isn’t just a kiss, this is one that will forever be imprinted on my soul.
Our tongues dance together wildly as his hand lifts my breast, circling my nipple through my bra with his thumb. The sheer lace is like sandpaper scratching the surface.
He rolls his hips, pushing his erection into me.
I fist my hands in his hair, moaning an invitation.
He’s claiming my body, but there’s no need. It’s already his. Always has been.
His mouth flutters gentle kisses as he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my panties. Looking up one last time, his eyes ask permission.
“Yes,” I whisper, threading my fingers in his hair and guiding him down to where I need him to be, my body aching for more.
“Jesus,” he groans, nipping above my sensitive bud.
He places a hand on my hip as he slowly pulls my sheer barrier down, and I step out. His hot breath chills me to the core, sending a shiver up my spine.
His fingertips trace up the insides of my thighs, and my legs shift open to give him better access. I should feel embarrassed, but I’m too overcome with need and desire to care that my best friend is eye level with my lady bits.
“Austin, please,” I moan as I feel Austin’s finger run up the center of my core and I slump forward, resting my forehead on his. “I need you.”
One side of his mouth lifts into a semblance of a smile as his thumb brushes the tip of my clit.
“Please.” I roll my body waiting for him to do something. Anything to make this ache go away.
“So needy,” he rumbles into my belly as he plunges a finger inside me, working me into a frenzy. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes,” I cry, digging my nails into his strained muscles.
I hear a groan of satisfaction as he adds another finger.
Pumping.
Grinding.
Teasing.
I barely have time to think before his mouth replaces his hand. His tongue darts out, teasing me before taking his sweet time tasting me. The gentle rhythm of my hips has me riding him, desperate for more. It’s a torturous pleasure I could endure forever.
Gah! My legs turn to jelly, and I reach out to steady myself as he throws one leg over his shoulder, helping me to balance while gaining better access to devour me.
Every flick.
Every suck.
Every cell in my body is on fire. A freaking inferno.
I’m consumed.
The pleasure is too much.
My body convulses, and I explode around his tongue, clenching my eyes closed. I’m thrown off a cliff and freefalling into nothing.
Panting.
Shaking.
Boneless.
I’m delirious with pleasure as he continues to lick and suck, spreading a fire through my veins. Falling apart in an explosion of stars, I toss my head back and cry out, holding onto his shoulders for dear life as he continues his attack, building me back up before I even have a chance to come down.<
br />
“Austin!” I gasp.
“You want more?” He smiles against my slick skin.
“I want you.” They’re the only words I can form. My confession, my truth.
Austin lowers my leg and peppers kisses across my abdomen. His tongue peeks out, and he traces his way around my navel and up between my breast as he rises to his feet after worshipping me with his mouth.
“Kiss me.” He smiles lightly.
Our eyes lock for the briefest of moments before we lean forward, undeniably drawn together. My eyes fall closed on a sigh as our lips seal every emotion I can think of, and even the ones I can’t.
Austin’s mouth, his hands, his touch marks me inside and out. This time, it’s not about claiming or teasing. This time is about sharing. This kiss and every one to come. This moment is different.
This is us.
AUSTIN
I never knew how thirsty I was until I tasted her. Once would never be enough. I drank her in like a man in the desert, desperate to quench his thirst.
Clover falls into my arms, and I lift, carrying her to the bedroom to continue claiming her. I lean over to lay her on the bed—my bed—and lose my footing.
She’s so spent, she lands with a bounce and almost rolls off.
“Clover!” I reach out, pulling her back up. As she sits up, our heads bump with a loud crack.
“Shit!” we say at the same time, rubbing our heads.
A giggle erupts from her throat, and I steady her, easing her back onto the mattress. Her hair is wild, not just from her little bounce, but from me, from earlier.
“Are you okay?” I brush a stray tendril of hair from her face, meeting her dark, satisfied stare.
“I am.” She smiles lightly, turning her face to kiss my palm. “I’m more than fine.”
Clover confirms what we had just done was good. It was more than good it was fucking perfect. The kiss, how she felt, the way she tasted…one night would never be enough. Clover Kelly is my drug, and I’m addicted.
Stepping back, my hand falls from her face as I take a moment to appreciate the sight of her, still unable to believe this is really happening.