by Wood, Vivian
“I have some cleaning supplies that I used when I moved into the other side,” I offer. “All this place really needs is a good dusting.”
She eyes me, brushing back her dark hair. “And when did you move in?”
My lips curve upward. “I’ve only been here about a week.”
“I see. Well, I think this will be a nice enough place to spend my summer.” She pauses, thoughtful. “Have you seen the library?”
I nod. “Mrs. Morgan showed it to me when I was hired. It looks like a lot of work.”
Now it’s her turn to smile. “Yes. At least a summer’s worth, if not more.”
“Cool. That’s about how long I plan on being here too.” I trail after her to the bedroom, taking advantage of the doorway to stretch my arms over my head.
As I watch, she turns from the window and catches me mid-stretch. Her cheeks turn pink, and her blush deepens when she realizes I’m aware of it.
She’s checking me out. I mean, she always has, even when she was a serious-faced little girl. I’ve always found it flattering, though I would never act on it. Still, it gives me pause now.
Is there something hovering in the air between us? Or am I just starving for attention out here in the middle of nowhere? I need to get my head straight, but she is making that very hard right now.
Olivia clears her throat, pulling me from my thoughts. “Are there any other people working here that I should know about?”
“Mmm… I don't think so. If there are, I haven’t met them. But Mrs. Morgan did mention that her grandson would be around sooner or later. Carter, I think.”
She raises an eyebrow. “He doesn’t live here?”
She turns back to the window, sliding it up to open it. The fresh air blows in, seeming fragrant and damp after I’ve spent the last ten minutes inhaling the stale air in the apartment.
“Not that I know of.” I wipe some dust off the top of the dresser, coughing at the dust in the air. “I’m going to go grab those cleaning supplies. Then I’ll start bringing your things from the car, I guess.”
Olivia smiles. “Thanks. That would be good.”
I head toward the front door of the apartment and she follows me. I hear her suck in a breath.
“Hey Aiden?”
I stop in the doorway. “Yeah?”
She tucks her hair behind her ear and flushes. “I’m glad that you’re here.”
I smile briefly. “You too, Olivia.”
I’m not sure that’s even true, if I’m being honest. I guess what I mean is, better you then some dude I don't know. But beggars can’t be choosers, so…
As her cheeks go red, I head out the door, trying desperately not to wonder… what if…
Chapter Five
Olivia
You too, Olivia.
What I wouldn’t give to be able to see inside his head just then.
Seeing Aiden is like a kick to the chest. Every time I look up and spy him out of the corner of my eye, I feel butterflies in my stomach. My mouth goes dry, my cheeks turn pink.
I am one hundred percent still that little girl, looking up at her big brother’s best friend with adoring eyes. It’s frustrating to be stuck back in that place with Aiden, especially since I have just graduated freaking college. But I still don't know how else to behave around him.
He just ties me in knots without even trying.
One thing is for certain though. Aiden doesn’t even really see me. He doesn’t notice the way I go to great lengths to put my past behind me. I am sure that he just views me as a grubby little kid still, even though I’ve long since abandoned my dirty sneakers and oversized hoodies.
I sigh. As I open all the windows and knock all the dust from the mattress, I find myself wishing… I don’t know. That I could find my wits around Aiden, first of all. That I could make him look at me with new eyes, see that I’ve been here all along.
But making someone fall in love with you is a pipe dream. Aiden will never love me, not the way I want him to. He’s barely aware that I even have a pulse. I need to resign myself to that fact.
“Here you go,” he rumbles, piling my suitcases just outside my door.
I turn red and mumble, “Thanks.”
I throw myself into cleaning the apartment out. When that is done, I lug all my suitcases inside and unpack what little I’ve brought with me.
Clothes and shoes. A handful of important books. Some knickknacks. My chocolate stash.
I have a piece of chocolate now, nibbling it, sighing as the bittersweet flavor melts on my tongue. That’s better.
I go back to unpacking.
A few framed photos of Grayson and I as kids. An old photo of my mom, grinning at the camera like a girl without a care in the world. That was back before she got into drugs, and long before she had us.
There’s also a picture of my college friends all dolled up, smiling at the camera. A porcelain bell with Dollywood written on the side, from an impromptu road trip with my best friend Chloe when we were in college.
When a knock sounds at the door, I assume that it’s just Aiden. I shout, “Come in!”
A strange woman’s voice calls out. “Hello?”
I stand and hustle myself to the front door, where a very smartly dressed blonde in a pink power blazer looks in. She smiles broadly when I see her, which only increases her beauty. She has a dazzling smile.
“Hi! I’m Megan,” she says. I rush to open the screen door, taking the hand she thrusts at me.
“Hi. I’m Olivia.” I glance down at my own rumpled white dress, feeling unprepared even though I didn’t know she was coming. “Um, come in. I’m sorry it’s still such a mess. I am just getting settled.”
I back away from the door, ushering her inside. Megan grins, wielding a chic white briefcase.
“Don’t worry! I’m actually here because I’m one of Mrs. Morgan’s attorneys. She called this morning and said that she’d hired you. I just have a little paperwork for you to fill out. You know, a W-2 and some basic information.”
“Oh!” I say, a little surprised. “Of course.”
She withdraws a little sheaf of paper and a fancy pen from her briefcase. “Do you mind doing it right now? I’m sorry to intrude, but this estate is way outside of town. It would be amazing if you could complete it while I’m here.”
Aiden pops his head in, his arms full of cut firewood. “Hey Olivia, I brought this—”
He spots Megan, his eyes drinking her in like a man dying of thirst. As my heart sinks, I can see him trying to figure her out.
She’s blonde. She’s pretty. She’s well-dressed. She’s perky.
She’s exactly Aiden’s type.
Aiden’s eyes light up as he looks at her and his smile widens. He sets the stack of wood down, dusting his hands off. Then he holds his hand out to her. “Hi. I’m Aiden.”
She smiles and shakes his hand. “Hey! I was on my way to you next. I have some forms for you to fill out. I’m the chief errand runner for my law firm these days.”
For all intents and purposes, I might as well not even exist. I look between them, trying my best not to look as desperate as I feel.
This is my nightmare, though. For someone like me, a former foster kid, I need to feel seen. That’s why I acted in plays when I was in college, because it’s hard as hell for someone like me to speak up unless I can recede into being a character. Then I can be something more than just myself; I can be a queen or a runaway, a dowager or Joan of Arc.
There is nothing harder than to be seen when someone else in the room is as magnetic as Megan. Luckily she breaks off eye contact and returns her attention to the papers before her.
“Let me just hand these to you, Olivia,” she says, waving them in my direction.
I slink across to her and take them, retreating to the table to fill them out. All the while, I am silently rebuking myself.
Say something cutting. Or do something funny. You can't recite a monologue right now, but maybe you can sing?
Draw attention to yourself. Be as magnetic as Megan.
But no. I’m too much a wallflower and too big of a wuss. That’s why girls like Megan get hot guys like Aiden. Feeling like a failure, I avert my eyes and begin filling out the paperwork.
Megan rustles around in her briefcase, producing an identical sheaf of papers for Aiden. “I’m sorry, I don’t have a pen. You’ll have to wait until Olivia is done.”
He plucks the papers out of her hand with a grin. “I’ll have to spend my time getting to know you, then. Where are you from?”
I roll my eyes. Although if I was the receiver of his mega-watt smile, I would probably be flattered by that obvious line. I realize I am jealous of Megan. Being around her makes me feel like I am still a little girl, dirty and needy. It’s hard to stand next to her.
Then again, that feeling isn’t an uncommon one. It usually doesn’t happen in front of the man I’ve had a crush on for years, though.
Megan crosses her arms. “I’m originally from California, but I’ve been in Port Angeles for a few years.”
He surveys her coolly. “And what do you do for fun around here?”
Her smile dims a bit. “I don’t know. Hang out with my friends, I guess. And my girlfriend is a chef, so… we stay in a lot.”
Megan’s smile tightens, as if she expects him to react poorly to that news. I stop writing and glance up at her, then my gaze slides to Aiden. He looks entirely unruffled by the whole thing.
“Any recommendations on cool bars? I haven’t explored the area much.”
I release a breath that I didn't realize I was holding as Megan looks thoughtful.
“Mmm… you might like Igor’s or the Rusty Nail. Those are really the only bars for straight people our age,” she says. Then she shrugs. “I don’t really go out to bars often. It’s hard to be in this part of Washington and find other gay women to hang out with.”
“I’m finished!” I interrupt loudly, pushing up from the table. Aiden and Megan both look at me a little quizzically.
“Okay…” Megan says.
“Give me that pen,” Aiden beckons.
Picking up the papers and the pen, I make sure to deliver my paperwork to Megan first. Then I head over to hand the pen to Aiden.
He catches my fingers, surprising me. His lips curve. “Thanks.”
I flush ten shades of red. He lets my hand go, taking the pen. “Do you mind if I head to my apartment to do this? I’m thirsty and I don't think that Olive here has got any clean glasses.”
Olive. A childhood nickname. My cheeks must be bright red by now.
Megan lifts her brows. “Sure. If you could just leave your paperwork outside your door when you’re done, I would appreciate it.”
Aiden gives us both a smile. “Sure. Catch you both later.”
He heads out of the apartment, his heavy boots sounding thunderous on the smooth wood floors. As soon as he’s gone, Megan rolls her eyes.
“That was interesting,” she says.
I clear my throat. “I wouldn’t take it personally. Flirting is how Aiden communicates to practically everyone.”
“Apparently not with you.” Her brow furrows. “Do you two know each other?”
I try not to show it, but her words sting. “Yeah. We’ve known each other for years.”
Megan nods. “That makes sense. Which one of you tipped the other one off about there being a job here?”
I blow out a breath. “No, you have it wrong. I heard about this after I placed an ad in my school’s paper. I have no idea how Aiden found out about his job. He’s a bit mysterious.”
She looks toward the door where he disappeared, her brow hunching. “Aiden seems nice. Maybe there’s more going on under the surface that I just can’t see. Either way, I hope it won’t affect his job working here.” She looks at me. “No offense. I know you guys go way back.”
I give her a smile, my lips pressed into a thin line. “I’m sure he will be fine. I’ll keep him in line if need be.”
That feels like a lie the moment it leaves my lips. I’ve never had much sway over Aiden. I spent too much of my time staring at him, lovesick. Megan doesn’t have to know that, though.
She smiles at me. “I’m sure you will. You’ll have a good summer working here, I can feel it.” Straightening her posture, she sighs. “I think I had better go get Aiden’s forms. I have a ton of stuff to do today and only a few hours left in the day to do it. I’ll see you later, Olivia.”
“Bye,” I call to her as she heads out.
Shaking my head, I go into the bedroom and finish putting my clothes away. I know I need to be firmer in my relationship with Aiden. My conversation with Megan only reinforced that idea. I just don’t know how, exactly.
Chapter Six
Olivia
Freshman Year Of High School
I tug at the hem of my ultrashort bright red dress, trying not to look nervous. The dress has a sweetheart neckline that is probably not meant for a fourteen-year-old. But my friend Tanya practically dragged me all the way here to the mall and made me pick between three dresses that she pulled out of her backpack.
While she was tugging on a similar dress in black, I wiggle into this one. We both pad our bras with toilet paper and put on loud matching lipstick. Then she giggles as we stuff our regular clothes in her backpack and she stashes it in a janitor’s closet.
I pause, hesitating, my own backpack in my hands.
“Come on. Like anyone ever even looks in here,” she says, rolling her eyes and popping her ever-present gum. “That would mean that someone would have to clean up regularly. Do you know how long it takes to even get a spill mopped up here? It’s gross.”
I nod, glancing around nervously. Tucking my backpack away in the back of the closet, ever suspicious. I’ve been a foster kid for long enough that I know not to leave anything valuable out of my sight for a second. Anyone could be watching, waiting to swoop in and take what little I’ve got.
Until this year, I never came to the mall. I was under the vigilant eye of my big brother and he didn’t approve of just hanging out here. But Grayson enlisted in the Navy a couple of months ago.
No more Grayson making sure I get my homework done, although I usually do. More importantly, no more babysitter. I get to do what I want now.
Or in this case, what Tanya wants. Looking at the neon signs and the bright fluorescent lighting, I swallow again. Tanya takes the lead and takes my arm, walking in lockstep with me. It’s really outdated-looking in here, all white walls and gleaming beige floors. Here and there you can catch a wide planter. They are supposed to be something to look at, I guess. But the maintenance crew at this mall have let them wither.
It makes me wonder what this mall originally looked like, back when this section of town had money. Ignoring the glaring blankness of a few shuttered stores, I push on.
Tanya and I parade down the wide marble floors to pass the perfume store and a cute boutique where I got my ears pierced.
“Hey, do you wanna go look at earrings?” I ask, slowing down.
Tanya favors me with her best side eye. “Let’s go check out the food court first. There are usually a bunch of super cute guys hanging out there. Like… older guys.”
She squeezes my arm and I realize that she means that to be a good thing. Widening my eyes, I allow her to pull me along. When we are past the Bath & Body Works, I start to smell something.
Lifting my nose into the air, I catch the scent of the food court. More specifically, it’s a mixture of greasy Chinese and fresh baked cookies. We come around a corner and there is the whole food court laid out before us.
The food vendors are set up in a U shape, the space between them filled with chairs and tables. Well, at least most of the food places are open. A couple are permanently closed, their bright neon lights turned off.
Tanya digs her nails into my arm. “Oh my god. Look.”
I follow her gaze to the cookie place. There is an attractive blonde girl
behind the counter, and milling around the other side are half a dozen teenaged boys. The average age of the group seems to be about sixteen. Tanya is looking at them with such longing and excitement that I can’t do anything but allow her to pull me across the food court.
She hauls me up to the pretzel vendor next to the cookie booth.
“You want something to drink? Maybe a pretzel?” she says, her eyes going up to the big sign board behind the counter. “I need a pretzel.”
I bite my lower lip, thinking of the wrinkled ones and loose change that I keep in the front pocket of my backpack. Even if I had my backpack with me, I would think twice about using what little cash I’ve got on a snack.
“Uhhh…” I stammer.
Tanya looks at me. “Don’t be so stupid, Olivia. It’s my treat. I’ve got my mom’s credit card.” She brandishes the card, giving me a devilish grin.
“Oh.” I wasn’t expecting that. Then again, I already knew that Tanya was from money. The dresses we’re wearing came from her mom’s closet, after all. “Yeah, okay. I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
As Tanya orders our food, I look over to the group of guys and notice that Tanya and I are being appraised. I can feel the gazes of the boys, weighing their chances with the cookie stand girl versus their chances with us.
As we accept our pretzels and drinks and turn to find somewhere to eat them, the boys saunter toward us. One of them, wearing black from head to toe, smirks at us.
“Hey,” he says, jerking his head in a nod.
Tanya isn’t shy. “Hey. What’s up?”
She and I sip our drinks as the guys come over, circling us as suspiciously as wolves. Now that Tanya and I are the center of attention, I can feel heat beginning to creep up my neck. My palms are sweaty even though the air conditioning in the mall is on full blast.
“I’m Dane,” the main guy says. “This is Dan and Everett, and Cutter and Sim.” The other guys wave or nod.
Tanya clears her throat, pulling herself to her full height. It’s like watching a tightrope walker get ready. “I’m Isabella. And this is Evelyn.”