The room was still covered in darkness, suggesting that he still had an hour left before he had to make breakfast for Una.
He sighed and flopped on the couch. He felt a sickening knot in his stomach as his mind wandered off to Una. Every time he thought of her, he remembered the repugnance in her eyes. It was both brutal and blissful to look at her. The possibility of Una hating him for the rest of his life scared him. Everything about her frightened him, and it was the worst kind of fear because it was something he knew he couldn’t escape and had no control over.
Looking back at how his life had changed when he met her and how quickly things went sour between them, he had to admit, was something he couldn’t put the blame on anyone other than himself.
She had changed. He wanted the old Una back. He sighed at the closed door in the corner of his eyes. The woman in the other room had gone back to being distant and cold. He missed the person Una had become when they finally shared something precious and intimate.
As he continued to lie there, anxiety was building up fast as the craving he’d been nursing for quite some time now started to burn inside him. He tossed and turned as his thoughts lingered on his first kiss with her. He got up in annoyance and knelt down and pulled a small wooden box under the couch. Inside was a packet of pills of various kinds. He took three Diazepam and swallowed it straight.
He went back to the couch, and in less than half an hour, his nerves relaxed and he dozed off.
The sun was already setting when his eyes opened after a few hours. He sprang from the couch and quickly changed his shirt and made his way to the small kitchen to prepare dinner.
***
“Blonde looks good on you.”
Una glanced at her reflection in the perpetually polished aluminum water pitcher in front. Never in her life did she ever consider dying her hair, and she was never a fan of ridiculously short bangs either.
How did she let Will talk her into doing this impulsive change?
She continued to stare with a heavy heart at her blondeness and at how short her hair looked.
“You look beautiful, Una,” she heard Will assured her again when she stayed quiet without lifting the spoon in front of her.
Will decided for them to have a really nice dinner that night. For the first time, he agreed for her to dine with him outside her room. And for the first time that day, she became fully aware of how neat and pleasant his cottage really was.
She forced a weak smile and looked outside the window, still not touching the soup that smelled nothing but a delightful aroma of spices and the earthly scent of thyme and rosemary.
It had started to drizzle that afternoon and rain had continued to smatter steadily. She was asleep the entire afternoon, cocooned comfortably in her think blanket. Will had finished preparing dinner when she finally woke up from her deep sleep.
“A penny for your thought?”
Una turned to meet his dark blue eyes, her heart pounding so wildly. She slowly lifted the spoon into her bowl of soup. “What’s your trophy?” she asked casually, masking the fear that was creeping inside her.
The question must have struck something in Will because Una distinctly noticed him swallow an imaginary lump in his throat. “My trophy?”
Una was pretty sure he understood her question. “Serial killers keep mementos of their crimes or souvenirs from their victims.” She watched him stamp down a smile.
“Is that how you see me, Una?” He didn’t look hurt at all. “A serial killer?”
She merely shrugged and gently took a sip of her soup. It tasted good than she had expected. Pretty good, actually. “By definition, a person is considered a serial killer when he has committed three or more murders. You have obviously killed too many people. You enjoy killing people.” She wasn’t sure whether or not he had noticed her emphasis on the word enjoy.
The thought made her slightly shudder inside. She took another spoonful of the tasty soup to overpower the fear that had refused to leave.
“Maybe you are right. A serial killer is a socially accepted label of people like me. And to answer your question, I don’t keep mementos. I don’t need a part of their body to remind me of the pleasure they briefly provided me as I witness the light fading out of their eyes. It’s pure joy and delight but a souvenir isn’t necessary. Well, I have my journal. If that counts,” Will told her calmly, “And I killed because it was my purpose, I just happen to enjoy doing it. As you so kindly repeat.”
“Because you do.”
“It’s more than that. It’s like having a nimbus cloud―you know that dark rain cloud―following you around. You know how rain makes you want to grab a hot chocolate, a nice book to read and cuddle in a thick blanket? The feeling is very similar to that. The only difference is… my dark clouds make me want to slit someone’s throat, see blood flowing from my victims…yes if you prefer that we call them that.” He smiled at her again before he gracefully took a sip from the side of his spoon.
“You said in your journal―like a sadistic saint―that you absolve sinners from their sins by killing them and sacrificing their own lives as payments for the sins that they have committed.”
“No―”
“You are being paid by people as sick as you to kill, Will. You’re just a contract killer who happens to love his job so much. You’re no savior. You’re no saint either. You’re not saving anyone’s soul. You kill people, and you get paid for doing it. Stop convincing me, I’m not buying your extremely misguided pietistic garbage. You take payment for saving those souls?”
“Not a payment but a donation. And I’m just being real and practical, Una. And it wasn’t really my initial plan. The dark web has a plethora of interesting and curious people…as well as grifters. That’s why, my humble business, amongst the sea of atrocious websites, didn’t even take off immediately. But after uploading a clip of Mr. Poe’s torture, my clients slowly started to come around.”
He then noticed the incredulous look on Una’s face when she furrowed her eyebrows, obviously disturbed with relaxed he was. “But enough with that, I’m stopping. As I have promised you. I am choosing you. I can stop. I’m different, okay? Most people like me are insecure. And taking other people’s lives gives them a sense of control and makes them godly, powerful. It was Orson Scott Card himself who said that, if you can’t kill, you are always subject to those who can.”
Una stayed silent, indirectly telling him to continue. “I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. This world is overpopulated with evil people, Una. Some are embarrassed to accept that because they are so concerned with what society would think or fucking say.”
He swore again.
Before Una could tell him to stop cursing in her presence, Will went on, “But I am not like those people. I know what I am, and I embrace it every day. I do not need to kill to feel empowered.”
“You embrace it every day?” she nervously repeated what he just said, not entirely sure whether she heard him right or did he just quickly take back what he just promised her–that he’s stopping.
“Yes. Some would kill to institute dominance; validate their belief that they’re superior to anyone else. Some for fear. Some for a ton of unresolved issues and trauma. I think I have written it clearly in my journal. We have different reasons behind our every action. My father believed he was doing the world a favor by helping me give sinners another sense of purpose.”
“In your garden. That’s their purpose.”
He didn’t reply, just nodded in agreement.
Una shook her head. She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation right now. “Within those pots are urns and inside those urns are ashes of the people you killed.”
He smiled proudly. “That’s pretty accurate.”
“But those urns…they’re smaller than they fit inside those pots. How…”
He nodded thoughtfully, acknowledging her question as valid. “Well, you have to understand that normally, dead bodies are burned while it is
inside a casket. Since human bodies are made of 75 percent water, the cremated remains that people get after are bone fragments and the casket ash. And I don’t put my dead bodies inside a casket, Una.”
The way he casually explained his method brought Una’s whirlwind of emotions back. How could he act and sound too relaxed about it?
Una’s jaw clenched. “You’re a monster. You’re no angel. You’re the devil himself.”
“I beg to disagree, Una. Those people I killed were sinners. They had to be stopped, and they wouldn’t kill themselves. Let’s get that right. I simply did it for them from committing further sins. And not only that, I save their souls. I give every one of them the chance of a new life. There is nothing atrocious or diabolical in my intentions. Their bodies die, but their spirits remain and serve a different purpose.”
She glared at him. “How are they serving a different purpose, Will? They aren’t even those houseplants in your little garden. They’re literally just ashes, inside those little urns, inside those pots. They’re not contributing anything good to society. You took away their real purpose in life when you killed them. Being reduced into dust doesn’t give them a chance, nor does it renew the lives they have lost. When you cremate them, they become ashes and serve no purpose. You are out of your mind if you really believe that their souls come back and dwell in those plants in your little garden. They just die, and the chance to make up for their mistakes dies with them!”
“I couldn’t help the fact that I was born with the devil in me.“ He then stood up and moved his chair closer to where Una was seated. “Don’t worry, Una. I am stronger than the demon inside me.”
Should she trust him right after listening to him speak so comfortably about his addiction? She knew she shouldn’t. And she couldn’t let him know how fearful she had become with him around her.
“I know I am not going to heaven, Una. But that won’t stop me from spending my time here on Earth with you.”
“Do you really believe that what you feel for me is love?” The question escaped her mouth before her brain caught up.
She wasn’t sure whether the question was funny or odd, but Will’s lips curved a shy smile. “Yes.” Was all he said like he couldn’t be bothered to elaborate further; to say additional things to support his claim of love for her.
“Why?”
He shook his head, smiling a little. “I honestly don’t know, Una. I wish I could tell you the perfect answer to satisfy your need to know. But I don’t. I just know I do.”
“Why me?”
He shrugged. “Fate? Honestly, moving in with you was a stupid decision I abruptly made on my part. I killed people for a living, and to actually live with someone who could jeopardize me and risk everything I had—what was I thinking? But then maybe I was that desperate to find a place far away from Kate.”
“Yeah. Desperate, that’s why you lied to me.”
“Did you really expect me to walk over to your house, knock on your door and say ‘Hey, I’m Will and I kill people for a living and I―sorta―enjoy it. Wanna show me the room you’re renting out?’ If I were to be completely honest, you would have stabbed me with the knife you were carrying behind your back.”
“You―”
“Yes, I noticed the knife.” He nodded and flashed her a slightly boyish smile. “You were so cute that day.” He blinked and his smile turned to a grin. “I didn’t need to figure you out since I already knew a few things about you, credits to Liezel. I could dig deeper into your life, but truth be told, I wasn’t really interested in you at that time, the house was honestly the only reason I came to you that day.”
The discomfort Una had been suppressing spread across her face, then Will added, “Your face reveals so much, Una. More than you actually allow.”
“Was Will―William your first kill?” Her eyes observed him.
“I had my first successful kill when I seventeen. Anton Reyes was a homeless man and lived on whatever people threw in their garbage bins. His death went unnoticed for years, and it gave me confidence in my skills. I left no evidence to suggest that a straight-A, high school kid had anything to do with his demise.”
Una’s heart pounded loudly and she was sure he could hear it. But she had to toughen up and finish this dinner alive. No matter how many times Will assured her he was not planning on killing her, she couldn’t be too careful.
She sighed and stared out the window. It was still drizzling outside, but it had led up little, leaving little droplets on the window.
Una used to love the rain. She could still remember how she used to sit on their rooftop when she was young, ecstatic to feel the water pouring from the skies down to her cold skin. She could still remember the kind of joy it gave her and the hope it promised her when Will’s father abducted her.
While kept inside the basement, she became scared of almost any sound she could hear except for her own voice. But the sound of the rain outside consoled her, assured that people looking for her; the rain had become the only connection she had to her old life, and it gave her strength and faith.
“Were you going to kill your friends too? Glen?”
“What? Why would―Una. No!” Will looked a bit disgusted. “He’s my friend, although before befriending him, I had to do my own research and made sure he met my criteria. Well, I never would have wanted to be friends with him had I not needed him to complete my cover-up. I had to be the regular guy in everyone’s eyes, which meant I would have to have friends. And I knew he’d be useful in the future.”
Una shook her head. She couldn’t believe how easy it was for him to tell her how fake almost everything in his life was. As she listened to him, she came to realize how their lives were connected through one man―Will’s father.
And while Will had spent a portion of his life with his father and his terrifying beliefs, she, on the other hand, had spent a significant portion of her young life with Will’s father’s hatred towards her mother. She had been kept in the dark, cold room that reeked of urine, dry blood, and feces. And while she cried herself to sleep, Will was probably right outside, free and happily inflicting pain on people. He was free to do whatever he wanted while she, on the other side of the wall, was nursing her hunger and infected wounds.
“What are you thinking, Una?” Will’s deep voice interrupted her thoughts.
“How many girlfriends did you have before me?” she blurted. It wasn’t really a question she wanted to ask him, but she couldn’t seem to bring up his dad into the conversation. Somehow, the thought of Will’s dad still brought her fear.
Will didn’t answer her and shook his head instead. “You’re the only one, Una. First and only.” And then he sighed and―blushed. Una couldn’t believe it. “Well, if you count the fake relationships I had, then…”
“Fake relationships?” There it was again, another fake thing in his life.
“I had to blend in, Una. I couldn’t afford for people around me to raise questions. Even the most pathetic ones like ’why are you still single.’ To be in a relationship, apparently, is a prerequisite to be considered a normal functioning human being.”
“Not necessarily.” She couldn’t tell why, but she corrected him. When she left Aishcliff after she was cleared and was deemed fit to mingle with the rest of society again, she never had the time, strength, or interest in having a relationship with someone.
“If you don’t want people to suspect anything, yes, it is.”
She didn’t reply although she clearly still wanted to argue, she wasn’t interested in engaging with any argument with him.
“Una, those fake relationships were nothing but that…fake. I didn’t feel anything with any of them. Those relationships were all a requirement to me,” he explained further. “You are not. “
When his blue eyes stared into hers, all she could see was sincerity and hurt. But, could she really accept everything about him, no matter how completely flawed he was? Could she really accept everything he did, even when she
knew that none of those people he killed deserved to die? Could she really overlook every murder he ever did?
Chapter 27
Birds
Una had been awake and listening to her stomach growl for hours. With her enclosed windows, she had already lost a sense of time. The chirping birds she heard weren’t helping either. They could be chirping for something else and not the time. But do birds tell you the time by chirping?
A light knock on the door grabbed her attention. It was the first time Will had actually knocked before entering the room. What’s up with the sudden change? She decided not to bother acknowledging it.
She watched the door open and quickly sat up in the bed as Will walked in, carrying a platter full of food and a tall glass of orange juice.
He gently smiled at her when he noticed the pleased look in Una’s eyes, which quickly disappeared.
“I’m sorry about breakfast. I wasn’t feeling well this morning,” Will apologetically said while placing the tray on the bed.
Una looked down at the tray of food in front of her. She heard her stomach growled again. She started and picked up the chicken thigh braised in garlic and ate half of it in four big bites. She continued to eat, and Will stood by the door in complete silence.
She felt his eyes on her but didn’t mind. She was starving, and she wasn’t interested in breaking the silence. Besides, giving him the silent treatment was her goal.
“I’ll be right back with some more juice,” Will said when he saw how Una had quickly finished the glass he brought for her.
But he came back with another glass after thirty minutes and Una had already finished eating. He smiled. “Here’s another glass.”
Una shook her head without saying anything.
Will grabbed the tray and stood in the middle of the room. He stared at her with his sad blue eyes.
Considerably Wicked: A Dark Romance Page 28