by Kishan Paul
He pulled his hand from hers. “Here is not where you belong. You should be in Philadelphia living your life with your family and your husband, but that choice was stolen from you.”
She laughed. “I had a choice, all those years ago in Sayeed’s compound, and not only did I pick you boys, I begged for you.”
“That was before you knew I would kill your husband. If I hadn’t…”
She pressed her hand over his mouth before he finished. “His car was rear-ended by another vehicle. The impact killed him, and from what you’ve told me, you tried to warn him before it happened. Isn’t that true?”
He remained silent.
“Guilt is a powerful beast, and I can’t imagine how heavy the beast you carry must be. And I pray that you will one day learn to let it go, to forgive yourself before it destroys you.”
She released her hold on his face but didn’t move. “We have to learn to make the best of the life we’ve been given, because sometimes good things are born from the bad. You two are my good things. We need to stop running from our shadows, accept they exist, and heal. For me, it means I need to let myself remember my husband, to say his name.” Her voice cracked. “And remember the wonderful man who loved me and found me worthy. What that looks like for you is that you need to stop punishing yourself over things you can’t change, and see yourself as the man I am proud to call my son.”
She pressed her lips against his forehead and waited a beat before continuing. “And it also means you need to stop trying to protect me and see me for who I am. A woman who is stronger than you think, a determined mother who will do anything to protect her children.” She glanced at the guesthouse and the man who gazed back at her through the window. “I will find Wassim with or without you. You need to decide if you’ll help me or if I’m going to do this on my own.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
TIME
Eddie had returned to the living room and peered out the wall of glass. Mother and son were still outside and appeared to be in a heated conversation. He’d bet money she’d swung the kid to her side and convinced him that the world would end if she didn’t hop on a plane and offer up her head to Wassim. He considered going out and being the voice of reason. Instead, he sat his butt on the couch and scrolled through the shows. His turn would come soon enough.
After channel surfing through hundreds of options and not finding a damn thing on the television, he tossed the remote and stretched his legs out on the coffee table. He leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes, finally allowing himself to succumb to the jetlag.
The sounds of the door opening and the blinds rattling woke him, but he stayed still, eyes closed. Sneakers thudded against the wood flooring. Through it all, Eddie stayed rooted on the leather couch thinking about their trip back. Things were getting messy in Mumbai, and he needed to get to the team to help clean up the mess.
The couch shifted and groaned when the kid plopped down beside him. “She knows.”
Of course she did. He kept his eyes closed. “I’m listening.”
“A woman from the registry met with her. Said they found a haplo-compatible match. She knows it’s Wassim. She wants to go to Mumbai and use herself as a target. Believes he will come out of hiding for her.”
“No surprise there,” Eddie muttered.
“I think she’s right.”
He opened his eyes and studied Raz. “Of course you do.”
“She’s desperate. The doctors said if there was any way to find his father, to do so. Now.” His voice cracked. “They can’t wait for a perfect match anymore. His levels are getting worse, and considering the limited supply of donors, Wassim is the best option.”
Eddie rubbed the back of his neck and focused his gaze on the woman in the courtyard. “What did you tell her?”
“No.” Raz let out a breath. “Among other things, at first.”
He glanced over his shoulder in the direction of Little Bear’s bedroom. The image of the kid hugging his soldier flashed in his head. “What do you mean, at first?”
Raz laughed. “Just like you said she would, she ignored it all. My mother is a stubborn woman. She said she’d get there with or without us, and I believe she will. It’s better if she comes with us before she heads out in search of Wassim on her own.”
“Neither of those are options. She’s not going anywhere, because unlike you, my spine and balls are still attached.” He grabbed his cell and scrolled through flight arrangements. “We, as in two people, you and I, need to get out of here before she comes up with any more ideas.”
He let out an irritated breath and scrolled through options. “We should have left right after we found out Adil’s trail had gone cold yesterday. He knows we’re trailing him, and we need to figure out what else he knows before we find out the hard way. None of which we can do sitting here on the other side of the world.”
The words were intended as much for Raz as they were for himself. Eddie had convinced himself to linger on and play therapist to Alisha and uncle to an ill kid. Just a little more time, he’d stupidly convinced himself. Time they didn’t have to spare. He rubbed the scar on his neck while he considered his options. “There’s a flight leaving in a couple hours. We need to get our asses on that plane.”
“I can’t go.”
His quick response made Eddie pause mid-type.
“Yet,” he added.
Eddie nodded but didn’t look over at the idiot. “When exactly can you leave? A week? A month? A year?”
“Tomorrow after I take them back to the orchard.”
Eddie lowered his phone and glared at him.
“Look, if you say no to taking her, I’ll respect that.” Raz rose to his feet. “You’re welcome to go now if you’d like. I’ll even drop you off at the airport, but I’m staying until tomorrow. I promised to celebrate tonight with my brother, and I will. Afterward, I will drive my family back home.” He ran a hand through his hair. “If we don’t find Wassim…”
Raz didn’t finish his sentence; he didn’t need to. He looked out the window and sucked in a breath. “I don’t know what’s going to happen next. I want this time with them to be good.”
Eddie scrolled through the airline information. “There’s a flight leaving tomorrow afternoon at four from Seattle to Philadelphia.” He tossed the phone at the kid. “Finish making the reservations while I set her straight.”
A smile stretched across Raz’s face.
“What’s with the smile?” Eddie asked.
He tucked the phone in his pocket and crossed his arms. “I think I’ll wait until you come back inside to book the tickets.”
“Why?”
“Just in case she cuts your balls and spine off too.”
Eddie pointed his finger at him. “Mark my words. No matter what she says or cries or screams, she’s not coming. Understood?”
His grin widened. “Yes, sir.”
Eddie muttered under his breath and headed out the back door.
Ally sat on the ground by the edge of the swimming pool. The water was so still the details in the intricate designs etched on the tiles at the bottom were visible. She filled her lungs with the chlorine-scented air. Life resembled those still blue waters. Deceptively calm and peaceful. Deceptive because all it took was the fluttering wings of a fly against the water’s edge or a gentle breeze to create ripples and destroy the serenity.
For some, the interruption was minimal, a small concentration of waves that impacted just a part of the pool. Other unfortunate souls were less lucky, and the impact was storms and waves so high they crashed against the cement walls, sucking in everything and everyone around it. The thing was, even at its worst, the rapids and surges that formed were survivable if the people were prepared for it.
For years, she’d been stuck in the center of the storm, like a buoy tethered to the ocean floor by her grief, unable to reach the shore. Never once had she considered that she was not really living, just floating. That had she untied herself
from the weight rooting her to the spot, she could have swum to the shore. A shore where Razaa stood helplessly watching her, believing himself the reason for her storm.
She rolled up her jeans and dipped her feet in the cool liquid, observing the ripples expanding around her ankles, and spread out her toes, allowing the liquid to hug her skin. She filled her lungs and closed her eyes, imagining herself untethered and floating to the shore. Tight muscles eased as she envisioned the cool waves against her warm skin. A smile tugged at her lips at the image of her hair floating around her weightless. The visualization soothed her. As the air left her lungs, so did the tension, the worries, leaving nothing behind but the sound of one’s shoes against the stone pavement as they approached.
When Eddie cleared his throat, she shot up a hand and took a deep calming breath, held it in her lungs, and released the tension one more time before finally opening her eyes and leaving her world of peace.
He placed two glasses of water on the ground between them, sat down, and pulled off his shoes. “Meditation?”
She shrugged. “Trying to figure out how one survives the rapids.”
He flashed her a curious look and returned to the business of yanking off his socks. “Well, that depends. Are they in a boat?”
She shook her head.
“Do they have a life preserver or a tree branch or a shore accessible to them?”
“Nothing. Just really strong currents and themselves.”
“Well, that sucks.” Eddie slipped both feet in the water, gripped the edge of the pool, and leaned forward in deep thought. “If there’s no way out, they should lie on their back, with their feet facing downstream, and float until they find a calmer area or something to hold on to.”
She imagined his description. “They should float.”
“Yeah, I’d save my energy for when I can use it best instead of trying to fight something I can’t beat.” He jabbed her arm with his elbow. “But we’re not talking about the rapids, are we?”
“No, we’re not.” She picked up a glass and pressed the cool surface against her forehead. “I’ve been floating all this time.”
He grinned. “A woman like you doesn’t just float.”
She laughed and shook her head. “True. A woman like me kills people.”
“One person. You killed one person. Someone who would have killed you if you hadn’t killed them, and even then, you weren’t the one firing the gun.”
Ally didn’t respond. She might not have pulled the trigger, but she played a role in why the hearts of so many people she cared about no longer beat. And she would do it again.
“Since we’re playing the random metaphors and questions game, here’s one for you. How’d it go today?”
Her mind drifted from the doctor’s appointments to her interaction with Razaa. Her son had already filled him in on their conversation, and he’d come to change her mind. “It’s been a long day.” And was about to become even longer. “Which part exactly are you asking about?”
He chuckled. “The hospital part.”
“The spinal tap went as expected. He’s a brave little guy.” She paused, remembering the way he squeezed her hand and tried not to cry. “They ended up having to give him a transfusion because his levels were low. Which I knew they would be. He’s been more tired than usual.”
He nodded. “Explains all the bandages.”
“I told Razaa that I met with a representative about a potential donor for him. They found a match.” She scooted back and planted her wet heels on the edge of the pool. Resting her chin on her knees, she hugged her legs to her chest. “We just need to go find him.” She bit her lip.
Eddie stretched his legs out and mumbled under his breath. “By him, you mean Wassim. And by we, you mean you.”
She glanced in his direction and considered her words. It was time to share the final piece of information. “Razaa told you about our conversation.”
Their eyes locked. “You mean your suicide plan.”
“You said yesterday you have a lead on Wassim, and now I have proof that you know a lot more than you’ve let on.”
A string of curses escaped his lips. She waited until he finished before she continued. “You said he’s been hiding in his hole. He’ll crawl out for me.”
He sat up straight and shook his head.
“Do you know what he’s been up to? He traffics women, children, people. Rounding up young girls and selling them off like they’re shoes. What do you think he’s going to do if he gets his hands on you?”
“That’s what I’m hoping for.” When he rose to his feet, she followed. She grabbed his hand and held tight, yanking at him when he attempted to walk away. “I showed up and destroyed his wonderful life in Karachi. He probably blames me for Alyah’s death and losing his son. He will want nothing more than to punish me and then kill me.” When he opened his mouth to respond, she talked over him. “And you and your team will be there to make sure he doesn’t.”
“I’m flattered you think I’m capable of protecting you. Really, I am, but I’m not God.” Eddie brushed his finger across her neck. “He will snap your head before you get the chance to say, ‘Hi there.’ And then what? Your boys will end up orphans, and Raz will spend the rest of his life blaming himself for not just Da”—he paused a beat and cleared his throat—“his death, but yours too. Is that what you want?”
His words didn’t faze her. “People tend to spend more time regretting the things they could have or should have done more than the mistakes they’ve made. Whatever happens as a result of this decision, we’ll get over it. If Jayden doesn’t survive, Razaa and I will both spend the rest of our lives wondering what if. Regretting we hadn’t tried.”
“Bullshit.”
“You think you know me better than I know myself, Eddie.”
He lifted a shoulder. “I see things you don’t.”
“Speaking of seeing things. I saw something interesting today.” She pulled her phone out from her back pocket and scrolled to a picture she took. “The representative I met with? She showed me this.” Ally flashed him the image of the back of the test sample Wassim mailed in. She pointed at the words printed in block letters beneath the scribbled phone number and read it out loud. “I am Aadam’s father.”
He went still as he stared at the screen.
“Considering everyone at the registry knows him as Jayden Lane, the only people who could have written that were Wassim or his people.”
Eddie grabbed her phone and zoomed in, inspecting the image. From the way his jaw twitched, how the vein along the side of his neck seemed to rise above his skin, every part of him radiated anger.
“It’s a Mumbai number. And don’t worry. If you delete it, I have other copies.”
He nodded, handing it back to her. “Have you contacted him yet?”
“No. The representative advised against it. But once I get to Mumbai and am ready to be found, I plan on calling.” She crossed her arms and waited for his reaction.
His brows lowered, creating almost a straight line across his brows. She could see his brain working, processing the information, filling in the holes, and weighing the questions he needed her to answer. “Tell me about this representative from the donor registry.”
“She said to give this to you.” She pulled out the card the woman had provided and handed it to him. “Her name’s Susan Kerry.”
He growled. “FBI.”
Ally nodded. “She mentioned you two have worked together before and asked me not to share her involvement with anyone else but you.”
He continued to stare at the card, making it hard for her to read his expression. “Susan and the FBI believe it’s a message from Wassim for me and wanted me to be aware. She said you should call her so you two could discuss how to best help Jayden.” She stepped closer until the tips of her toes hit his. “I am done floating, Eddie. I will go to Mumbai with or without you.”
“Kerry is using you for her own gain. I can’t let you do
that.”
Ally had anticipated such a response. “Do you remember back in Sayeed’s compound when I asked you to not worry about me, to save the boys instead, and you said no?”
He tucked the card in his jean pocket and watched her, distrust evident in his gaze. Eddie knew her as well as she did him. Both waiting and trying to anticipate the other’s move.
“You told me the best thing I could do was lock myself up in a room and let you take care of it. Instead, I got out, killed Sayeed, helped your team track down Ibrahim Ayoub, and you left the compound with the boys I asked you to protect.”
“Impressive story. You have a couple of major holes in it though.” The skin between his brows wrinkled, and a faint hue of red colored the bunched-up area. “You almost died. Twice. Oh, and I wound up having to save your ass.”
“I am grateful you did.” She paused, allowing him a moment to enjoy her confirmation of his heroics. “Then again with Shariff. When you asked me to allow Leanna to escort me to the psychiatric hospital so you could”—she made quotation signs with her fingers—“‘do your job and save your sister?’ I ended up in Karachi anyway and helped you find and save your sister.”
The red patch deepened, and his lips tightened. “Again, holes in your memory. In both of those situations, what I remember is you being this close to getting killed.” Eddie pressed his thumb and index finger together and flashed it in her face for effect. “So, if your point is that you don’t listen to a damn thing I tell you to do, and I have to risk my life to save yours every single time, then point made.”
She swallowed her rising irritation at his arrogance and attempted to stay focused on her mission. “Actually, that is part of it. The other part is I do what I need to do regardless of what you or anyone else thinks, says, manipulates, or threatens. There’s not a damn thing you can do to stop me.”
His eyes didn’t blink. They bore into her. “I’m not saving you a third time,” he whispered.