by Linda Kage
Smiling, she closed her eyes and shook her head. “Not even a little. Mmm...but feel free to kiss the marks anyway”
I pressed my lips to the already fading abrasion again, and she softly petted my hair. “I love you, Brandt.”
I grinned and licked the skin. “I love you, too.” My body responded to how she sighed and shifted under me while I kissed every bound inch of flesh I emancipated. By the time I reached the last belt, I was hard again, and so hungry my mouth was already watering to taste her pussy.
“So would you be opposed to a round two?” I asked as I released the last buckle.
In answer, Sarah gasped and bowed her back up, her body going rigid before it began to shake erratically, her head tossing fitfully back and forth on the pillow.
“Sarah?” My gaze flew to her face, and the breath stalled in my lungs. “Shit!”
I’d been with her when she’d had a seizure before. But it’d been a while, and for a moment, panic clouded my head. Fear froze my lungs, and lack of oxygen grayed my vision.
But then my mental checklist kicked in. I blew out a steadying breath before scanning her surroundings to make sure nothing nearby could endanger her. Her head was already propped up by her pillow, her clothes were gone, unable to constrict her, and there didn’t seem to be anything close to hurt herself on, except maybe me. I scooted to the edge of the mattress and glanced at the clock to time her.
Hating this shit, I ran my hands over my face, prayed it ended quickly. It always felt like I should do something. But I knew the best help was to stay back and let her work through it, making sure she couldn’t hurt herself in the process. With cold, shaking hands, I slid off the bed and jerked on my clothes. About thirty seconds had passed by the time I was fully dressed.
Sarah still seemed safely positioned on the bed, her body seizing with the most painful-looking, jarring shudders. I cursed under my breath and paced the floor. Three minutes later, the convulsions subsided.
“Thank God.” My voice was hoarse as I rushed to the bed and sat beside her. But as soon as I touched her arm, she started again, the tremors even worse this time around.
“Sarah?” I tightened my grip on her arm. More than one seizure in a row was bad. So I panicked. “Baby?”
She didn’t answer, still seizing out of control. “Shit!”
This time, I didn’t even wait a minute before yelling, “Mason!” at the top of my lungs while I dug my phone from my pocket and dialed 911.
Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.
BRANDT
I sat slumped in the chair next to Mason, elbows on my knees and face in my hands.
Sarah’s brother was silent as a tomb as he tapped his fingers against his thigh, watching every orderly who passed by the hospital’s waiting room, where we fucking sat...and waited.
We’d ridden to the hospital together, following the ambulance, and Mason had grilled me about everything that had happened. I’d been so scared and numbed with shock I’d blurted out all of it. Even the belts part.
Clenching the steering wheel, he’d gritted out, “You stupid fucking idiot. If she dies tonight, I’ll kill you.”
And he hadn’t spoken to me since.
Closing my eyes and trying to breathe through the fear, I didn’t bother telling him he needn’t bother. If Sarah died, I’d take myself out.
All the oxygen in my lungs rushed from me in a petrified shudder.
Jesus, she’d better not die. I wouldn’t survive it.
When footsteps clattered into the room, I looked up only to find Reese rushing inside. She’d had to stay back with the kids and wait for Pick to show up and babysit.
“Anything?” she asked breathlessly, darting her gaze between me and Mason.
Mason sprang from his chair. “No. Not yet.” He yanked her against his chest and hugged her hard, burying his face in her hair.
I had to look away, because I needed Sarah here to hug and reassure me.
Pain passed through my abdomen, making me double over and hug my stomach. But I kept sitting there, repressing the urge to slam my fists into the closest wall or break down into tears.
I’m not sure how long I’d sat there, just holding it all in, when someone said, “Brandt?”
I looked up to find Noel, Colton and Ten slowly approaching, looking wary and cautious.
Blinking, I shook my head, confused. “What’re you guys doing here?”
“Pick called,” Noel explained as he sat next to me. “We’re here for you. How’s she doing? Have you heard anything yet?”
I shook my head and glanced around for Mason and Reese, but they were no longer in the room. Worried I’d missed something, I jerked to my feet, but Colton caught my arm.
“They’re in the hallway,” he murmured, the warning in his gaze telling me not to go near them.
“And Lowe seems pissed,” Ten added. “At you.”
“What happened?” Noel asked, rising back to his feet after me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block the memory of Sarah convulsing on her bed. “We had sex,” I whispered.
“But...I thought you two had already—”
“It was kinkier this time,” I bit out, glaring at Colton until he clamped his mouth shut. Then my shoulder collapsed as the grief gripped me all over again. “She, uh, the seizures started as soon as I untied her.”
All three of my brothers winced.
“Damn,” Ten murmured.
I pierced him with a harsh glance, prepared for one of his inappropriate, asinine comments, so I could punch him into next week. I actually craved it; I wanted to hit something so bad. But he only sent me a sympathetic cringe, and I was tempted to jack him in the jaw anyway, just to relieve some of the agony.
In the hall, I heard someone say, “Sarah Arnosta’s family,” and I lurched that way, desperate to hear good news.
By the time I made it into the hall, Noel, Ten and Colton piling after me, the doctor was already speaking to Mason and Reese. “...appears to have been the result of a stroke.”
A stroke?
I choked on my shock, and my knees buckled underneath me. The only reason I didn’t go down was because one of my brothers latched his hand around my arm, supporting me. But it still felt as if I fell into a huge, harrowing abyss. The air sucked from my lungs as black spots dotted my vision.
All the while, the doctor kept talking, explaining that the damage had happened to the weaker side of Sarah’s brain. She was no longer hemorrhaging, and the only thing they were worried about at the moment was her eyesight and maybe some paralysis on her left side.
I bowed my head, trying to breathe normally and failing until the doctor said he’d have a nurse return with more news as soon as Sarah was moved to a patient room. As his footsteps faded away, I looked up, seeking out Mason. He looked as white as a sheet. I had a feeling I hadn’t fared the doctor’s diagnosis any better.
Sarah had had a stroke.
And it was my fault.
“Mason,” I croaked, reaching for his arm. “Jesus, God. I’m sorry. I’m so—”
“Don’t.” He shoved my hand before I made contact. The glare he sent me caused a sob to claw its way out of my throat. “Don’t even talk to me. Just...get out of my face.”
“But...” I opened my mouth to beg mercy, except I knew I didn’t deserve any. I didn’t deserve his forgiveness. I didn’t deserve to fucking live.
I’d caused my favorite person on earth to have a stroke. I could’ve killed her.
“Get him away from me,” Mason growled to Noel. “And keep him away from my sister.”
“Come on, Brandt,” Noel murmured sadly, reaching for my arm.
I pulled out of his grip. “No.” I wasn’t leaving. I couldn’t leave until I was with Sarah again.
“Brandt,” my brother said a little more firmly. “Let’s go.” When he reached for me again, I dodged him.
“I have to see Sarah.” I had to see her right then. I was beginnin
g to feel panicked and unsteady, and no one calmed me like Sarah.
Sarah would make this better.
Dodging my brothers and even Mason, I raced down the hall, with no idea where I was going. I sprinted in the direction the doctor had gone, bursting through one door I was sure I wasn’t supposed to go beyond.
Some hospital-type person yelled after me, but I kept running, breathing hard, heart racing, palms sweating. I needed to be with Sarah.
When I barely caught sight of the doctor who’d just talked to Mason and Reese, I darted after him just as he tugged aside a curtain to check on the patient behind it. When I drew close enough to see that it was her, I jarred to a halt, gasping.
She was so still and lifeless on the bed, pale and small, with all kinds of wires connected to her. Her heart monitor beeped out a steady rhythm, telling me she was alive, but she was far from okay.
Choking out the sob that tore from my throat, I collapsed to my knees, unable to take my eyes off the woman I’d just destroyed.
“Oh, God.”
Tears pricked my eyes. Shudders wracked my body. I went cold and numb, dying a little more each second I watched her.
“No, it’s okay,” I vaguely heard someone say, just before a hand gently gripped my shoulder. “We’re his brothers. We’ve got him. We’ll get him out of here.”
But I shook my head. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to leave her. I needed her.
“Brandt.” Noel’s voice in my ear broke me. I wilted, covering my face with my hands, and wept.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Sarah...”
I was lifted and forced to walk. Not sure where they took me. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.
BRANDT
I guess my brothers took me home. The next conscious thing I remembered was sitting in my chair at the kitchen table as my family paced around me. Aspen and Caroline had joined Noel, Ten, and Colton. Their children were absent.
“Are you sure sex can even cause a stroke?” Aspen ranted as she picked up her smartphone. “I’m googling it.” Thirty seconds later, her face paled and she gulped. “Oh,” she mumbled before quickly setting her phone face down on the kitchen counter next to her.
“Babe.” Noel tugged her against his chest. “Not helping.”
“I know.” She winced and bit her lip before glancing at me. “They say sex-triggered strokes are really rare if that makes you feel any better.”
I scowled. “Not even a little.”
“This was not your fault, bubba,” Caroline insisted, appearing in my face.
I turned away, not ready for anyone to get that close to me.
“Do all of you really need to hover like this?”
“Yep.” Ten fell into the seat next to me and took a bite from a cookie he stole from the middle of the table. “Makes us feel useful.”
“Well, you’re being a pain in the ass,” I growled.
He lifted his eyebrows. “A useful pain in the ass?”
“Get the fuck away from me!” I kicked his chair, shoving it—with him on it—halfway across the kitchen.
“Fuck!” he yelped before popping to his feet and lifting his hands in surrender. “Fine. I’ll stay over here. Jesus.”
I narrowed my eyes at him before returning my stewing stare to the top of the table. “Pain in the fucking ass.”
“And we love you too.” When Ten blew me a kiss, I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face.
“Even if the sex did cause it,” Colton said from the counter where he was sitting next to the sink and swinging his legs. “How the hell were you supposed to know that’d happen? Mason totally can’t blame you for this.”
“The fuck if he can’t. I sure as hell blame me.”
“Brandt,” Noel started with a sigh as if he was going to refute everything I’d just said. But then he shook his head, obviously clueless about how to handle this. “Jesus, I don’t even know.”
My chin quivered, and I realized I was a second away from bursting into another round of tears. I had no idea what my problem was. I think I’d cried more lately than I had in my entire life put together. Something was seriously fucking wrong with me.
“What’re you doing here?” Noel said to someone new who entered the kitchen.
I looked up, blinking when I saw Mason in front of me. Certain I was seeing things, I shook my head. Then it struck me. There could only be only one reason he would come here.
Something was wrong with Sarah.
“Oh God.” I tried to fumble my way to my feet but my shoe got caught in the leg of the chair. “What happened?”
He grabbed two handfuls of the front of my shirt and hauled me out of my chair. “I’m trying to find out what the hell you’re doing here. Why aren’t you at the hospital?”
I paused at the question and had to reach out and brace my hand against the table before falling flat on my face. “Y-you told me to leave.”
“Yeah, well, screw what I want. Sarah’s been asking for you, so you better get your ass back there.”
“She...” My head went woozy from lack of oxygen. I sucked in a quick breath before asking, “She’s awake?”
Mason gaped at me as if I was a moron. “Of course, she’s awake. What’d you think? She was in a coma or something?”
“Yeah, only cool people like me fall into comas.” Ten nodded knowingly.
“Excuse me?” Mason whirled to pierce him with a glare.
He lifted his hands. “Hey, sorry. No offense. I’m just overly giddy not to be the one nailing the little sister this time around.”
“Well, it wasn’t funny.”
“Really? I thought it was pretty damn cute myself. Maybe a little inappropriate, but—”
He never got to finish his sentence because Mason’s fist swung out and cracked him hard in the jaw.
“Ouch! Fuck!” Gripping his jaw, Ten danced away before shaking it off. “Dude.”
Mason kept his hands curled into fists as he glared. “Sarah almost died, and you’re cracking jokes? Really?”
“Damn, I was just trying to help relieve a little tension.” Turning to Caroline for sympathy, he murmured, “I totally should’ve seen that one coming, huh?”
Prodding his tender jaw and making him wince, she nodded. “Probably.”
Still seething, Mason whirled toward me. I ducked away, thinking he’d go after me next. I was really the only person in the room who deserved a fat lip. But all he did was narrow his eyes and mutter, “Well? Get your ass cleaned up and let’s go already.”
So I got my ass cleaned up. I would’ve gone straight to Sarah first, but everyone insisted I’d freak her out if I went in looking the way I did. I had no idea what they were talking about until I stepped into the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror. My clothes were rumpled badly as if I’d slept in them, and even the cloth was torn in the neckline of my shirt. I wasn’t sure how that had happened; it wasn’t as if I’d gotten into a struggle with anyone.
Or had I?
I guess there’d been a while there where I’d blacked out, and I didn’t remember what had happened or how I’d made it home from the hospital.
My face was the scariest sight, though. It was pale white with red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes and a red nose. I splashed water onto my cheeks, then rushed to put on a new shirt. Mason waited for me as if he thought I’d flake out on him. I have no idea why; with Sarah was the only place I wanted to be.
But then we made it to the hospital, and suddenly, the nerves set in.
Earlier, they hadn’t been able to keep me away from her. I’d needed her that bad. But now...now, she needed me. And that petrified me. She was the emotionally strong one, not me. How the hell was I supposed to support her when I just wanted to fall apart?
The closer we got to her room, the more terrified I became. If she’d been asking for me that meant she probably didn’t blame me. But I blamed myself, and I wasn’t sure how to face her without bawling through an apology...which was probably the l
ast thing she needed.
God, how was I going to do this?
Mason held back after he pointed out her room. I glanced at him, uncertain, but he waved me forward with a frown. So, gulping, I turned and moved forward.
The door stood open. When I stepped in front of it, I slowed to a stop, unable to enter. Inside the dim room, I instantly made out Knox and Felicity standing on one side of the bed while Asher and Remy stood on the other side. Damn, what time was it? It had to be after two in the morning and the bar was closed if they were here and off work.
I waited through another inhale and exhale before I took in the vision on the bed lying under a layer of white sheets.
Oh, God.
Relief rushed through me when I saw her sitting upright. A clear oxygen tube ran directly under her nose and an IV was plugged into her arm, but other than that, she looked healthy. Alive. Tired but otherwise okay. She had color and was smiling sleepily as she answered something Felicity had just said to her.
As if feeling my presence, she glanced toward the doorway.
My heart thumped hard. I swallowed.
“Hey,” I said softly. One heavy step after another, I drifted toward her. When I reached her side, I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the center of her forehead.
The sadness in her eyes as I pulled away almost did me in.
Feeling like the lamest of lame, I asked, “How’re you feeling?”
She shrugged shakily. “Okay. It was a mild stroke so...there was very little damage.”
I nodded, unable to speak. Little damage meant something had still been damaged. I didn’t care if it was a little or a lot, any damage was more than there should’ve been.
“What...what...?” I tried to ask but ended up being unable to finish the question. I was too scared to learn what I’d damaged.
Around me, the other two couples shifted toward the exit, Asher squeezing my shoulder supportively before they were gone. I watched them go and then turned back to Sarah.
“It’s really not that bad,” she reassured me. “Right now, there’s just a dull headache and some numbness and rigidity in this arm and leg. But the good news is it won’t spasm as much anymore.”