"Thank you."
Amber pulled back smiled. "Of course, anytime."
Mrs. Mackle dried her eyes and stood up. "Come," she said. "I'll take you to James. He is upstairs with all the other boys."
Amber followed her out the tight little room and up the winding, spiraling stairs. The steps creaked beneath her feet, an indication of old age.
The two of them walked down a long corridor.
There were sounds of children laughing echoing down the hall. It got louder and louder as they neared two wooden double doors. Beside them, inscribed into a small metal rectangle that was nailed into the wall, read "Bedroom".
Mrs. Mackle gripped the handle and turned. As she opened the door, all laughter ceased to quietness.
There were boys of all ages sitting on rows of twin beds. The youngest of them was a baby. They all stared past Mrs. Mackle to Amber, who stood awkwardly by the doorway.
Never in her life had she had so many eyes trained on her. She shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.
Mrs. Mackle scanned the crowd of silent boys before asking, "Where is James?"
The boys looked at each other and a silent agreement seemed to pass over them as to who should answer.
The boy nearest the door spoke up. "He's in the private bedroom again."
Mrs. Mackle nodded. "Thank you, Edward. Come, Mrs. Helsing. He's right through that doorway."
The two of them walked through the middle of the beds and to the back of the room where a door was located. Mrs. Mackle knocked on it once and
called through it, "James, are you in there?"
At first there was no reply. Then, a high pitched male's voice answered back, "Yes I am,
Mrs. Mackle."
"I've brought a visitor who wishes to meet with you," Mrs. Mackle said. "Do you mind if she comes in?"
"Alright," James called back. Mrs. Mackle stepped back from the door and said to Amber, "He's in there. You may go in. Good luck."
Amber nodded her thanks and went inside the dimly lit room. A small boy sat perched on a cream white bed placed near a small circular window. He was looking out of it at the passing streets below. He didn't seem to acknowledge the fact that Amber walked in.
"Hello," Amber said, breaking the silence. "You must be James."
James turned to face her. "Yes, I am. Who are you?"
Amber crossed the room and sat down on the tiny bed beside the boy. She smiled and said, "My name is Amber Helsing. I'm here to give you a home. Would you like to come with me?"
James stared at her and frowned. "Does that mean you'll be my mommy? But all mommies look younger than you."
Amber laughed, her voice ringing throughout the room. "No, I'm not going to be your mommy. I'm going to be your grandmother."
"What's a grandmother?" James asked in pure
curiosity. He was still young and didn’t exactly understand what family meant. After all, it’s been a long time since he last had a real family to take
care of him.
"It means I'm going to take care of from now on," Amber explained.
James seemed to be in deep thought. Then he said, "Okay, you can take care of me."
Amber stood up and held out her hand. James grabbed it and hopped off the bed to stand beside her. Together they left the small dark room and back into the large bedroom. All of the eyes of the boys were on them as the glided through the room to the front where Mrs. Mackle stood, smiling radiantly, and waiting for them.
"I hope you have a good life, little one," she told James. James nodded.
Amber signed the papers and wrote Emily's name in the place where it said "Mother's Name". She handed it to Mrs. Mackle who sealed it into a crisp envelope and dropped into a folder on her desk.
As Amber and James were stepping out the door of the orphanage, Amber suddenly stopped for a thought made its way into her mind. She turned her head and spoke directly to Mrs. Mackle one last time, "Let's start over, again, from the beginning, the both of us. But from now on we shall have each other, to lean on and depend on."
It wasn't a question, but more like a plea. Mrs. Mackle seemed to understand beside she nodded and said, "Yes, let us walk as sisters from now on. I will work my hardest and provide the boys a happy life. You look after James and make sure
that he lives a fulfilling life."
Amber smiled. That was all she needed to her to be content. She gave Mrs. Mackle one last smile and a wave and walked out to the sun. James squinted in the light and raised a hand to shield his eyes.
"Well, are you ready to go to your new home?" Amber asked. James turned back and stared at the red building behind him, memorizing every little detail of it and stamping it into his mind. He couldn't believe that he had lived in that place for a whole year. He had so many friends, so many brothers, there. He tore his eyes away and faced the street again.
"Yes," he said. "Let's go."
On the ride back, James peered out of the window of the backseat the entire time. Amber couldn't help but giggle as she remembered that Emily was the same as him when she was his age. She'll count the passing cars and then tell Amber how many she saw. It became a sacred game between them. James wasn't like Emily and was silent, probably in wonder. He had not seen such beauty all his life.
Amber pulled up into the driveway of the house and got out of the car. She opened James door and helped him out. James looked around in awe. He took in the scenery before him, the trees,
the poppies in the front, the mini fountain, the verdant lawn.
"Wow," he breathed. "It's so beautiful." Amber
chuckled.
"Yes, it is," she agreed. "I love this neighborhood. It's quiet most of the time and gives me my own little space of quiet to think." She took the boy inside. To James, the inside of the house made the outside look lame. He took small steps through the hall and twirled around slowly as if he wanted to see everything all at once, but just can't.
"Do you like it?" Amber asked kindly. It took a second for James to answer.
"Yes," he said. "Yes! I love it. Thank you so much."
"Come with me," Amber said and beckoned him to follow her into the kitchen. "You must be hungry. It's almost dinner. I'll make you a ham sandwich and some lemonade."
James eagerly followed her, all the time still looking around. He sat down at the dinner table and placed his hands neatly in his lap. Amber busied herself with slicing the bread in half and placing two pieces of ham in each of the halves. She poured a glass of fresh lemonade that she made that week and brought the plate and glass over to the table. She set it down carefully in front of James and then took a seat beside him.
James picked up on of the sandwiches and took a tiny bite out of it. He chewed and swallowed and grinned. "This is so good!"
"I'm glad you like it," Amber said. James shoved the rest of his dinner into his mouth and drained the glass of lemonade. He was about to
carry his plate and glass to the sink when Amber quickly stopped him.
"Wait, I'll get that for you," she said and took the plates from him. "Why don't you go upstairs first? Wait for me in a room with a big letter "E" on the door." James nodded and walked out.
Amber washed the dishes and placed them away. She dried her hands and went up the stairs. She walked inside the bedroom and saw James sitting on the bed, staring at a photo frame. Amber walked up to him and sat down beside him. She saw that he was looking intensely at the picture of Emily.
"Is this... Is this..." He could barely speak. His eyes were wide in disbelief. He took a deep breath and said, "Is this Emily?"
Amber was silent for a moment. Then, ever so quietly, she answered, "Yes, she is."
James gasped. "Does that mean Emily lives here?" he asked eagerly.
"Yes, she used to," Amber said.
"Are you her teacher, then? Like Mrs. Mackle?"
James continued, his voice raising in excitement. Amber chuckled lightly.
"I guess you can say that. I'm her mother," she told him.
"Her mother," James repeated and then frowned. His little mind had trouble wrapping around her words. "You are Emily's mother?"
Amber nodded.
James stared more carefully at the picture and then back up at her. "Then... if you are Emily's mother... what am I doing here?"
"Emily is your mother," she told him. "That makes me your grandmother."
James looked taken aback. "Emily is my mommy?" he asked in wonder. "And you are my grandma?"
"Yes," Amber said. James sat in shock for a couple of moments before breaking off into a wide grin. His dimples showed and his eyes lit up like a candle. "I want to see Emily!" he said happily and bounced up and down on the bed. "I want to see my mommy!"
All of a sudden, Amber didn't know what to say. She was stuck. All of her confidence from before flew out of her body. Tears welled up in the back of her eyes and it took all her power to will it not to fall. Her throat closed up and restricted her from saying anything. Emily... Emily... Emily...
Then, for a second, she thought she heard a female voice, clear and sharp, say something in her mind and she suddenly knew exactly what to say.
"You can't see her, honey," she told him softly. James stopped jumping.
"Why not?" he said and his face fell. Amber hated to see him upset, but she forced herself to continue.
"Well, you mommy is no longer here. She went to Heaven," Amber explained. "She's up above
with
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