by K. R. Reese
“Fuckin’ hell.” The muttered words spill from my lips before I can stop them. Mitch flinches from the harshness of my voice. “I’m sorry. For what you both went through. You came out stronger in the end for it, if that makes any difference.”
“Some days it doesn’t feel that way,” he croaks.
Before I can form a response, a nurse comes through the doors. “Maci Sutton’s family?” Mitch and I nod in unison, keeping up the charade he had told the doctor. “Your sister has been moved to ICU.”
“Can we see her? Please?” I’m surprised by the crack in my voice. “I know it’s after visiting hours, but we’ll only be a minute. Then we’ll leave and come back in the morning.”
I think she’s going to tell me it’s against hospital policy – which it is – but instead she spins around to leave and waves for us to follow.
Mitch and I trail down the hallway behind her. We’re quiet as she lets us through the ICU doors, then abruptly stops in front of one of the rooms. Looking at us both, she points to the door.
“She’s in there, but I can only give you guys fifteen minutes. Then you’ll have to come back tomorrow. I’m sorry.” She gives us a sympathetic look before she leaves to go back to the station in the middle of the open area.
Mitch takes the lead and opens the door to the room. I stop to brace myself, unable to erase the image in my head of a battered Maci. I step through the door and lean against the wall. Mitch is beside her bed, knelt down to talk low enough I can’t hear what he’s saying. I give them their time together, knowing Mitch needs more reassurance than I do after the story of their mom.
When he stands to leave, there are tears in his eyes. “I’m going to head out for a bit, clear my head. I’ll catch back up with you tomorrow.”
I nod but put my hand on his shoulder before he can escape the room. “Remember what I said, man, she’s going to need you.” He shrugs me off without glancing back. I can’t think about where he’s going or what he’s getting into, even though I know I should keep an eye on him more right now. My focus is on the woman lying in the hospital bed in front of me.
I take the seat beside the bed that Mitch vacated, and take her hand. Seeing her unconscious, scrapes and bruises marring her skin, fucks with my head. Without the smile I’ve grown to love, and her big amber eyes staring back at me, my stomach tightens.
I keep my voice low and grip her hand. “I can’t stay long, Mace, or the hospital staff will kick me out.” I chuckle and stare at our joined hands. “I should have been with you. Mitch and I would have taken you. Damn it, Maci, I wish you would have called one of us first. I know you can’t right now, they have you sedated, but as soon as you can, you need to open those eyes, Mace.”
I stand, still gripping her hand in mine. “I’ll be back in the morning. Mitch, too.” I lean down and carefully place a kiss on her forehead. I back out of the room and find the closest hotel on my phone. I book a suite and text Mitch the details, but I don’t expect an answer.
I can only hope he shows in the morning.
Chapter 17
Maci
The first thing I notice is the insistent beeping that is relatively close to my head. I try to pry my eyes open to find the annoying sound, but it proves to be a struggle. It’s then I notice the pounding in my head, and everything comes back in a rush.
The text from Mitch.
Rick’s words and actions.
Levi.
My heavy eyelids finally part, and it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust against the harsh light overhead. I moan, trying to utter words about my pain, but it comes out garbled.
“One second, Mace, I’ll grab the water.”
I hadn’t noticed anyone else in the room until Levi spoke. In the next second, he appears at my side and inclines my head so I can sip from a straw. Levi pulls it away too quickly, and I groan in complaint.
“I know you want more, but the nurse said you had to take it easy when you first woke up.”
“My head,” I manage to say, searching for more words. My throat burns and my body throbs, but I don’t feel as heavy as I did.
“Doc said your head is going to ache for a bit. But your vitals are good. They’ll give you something for the pain in a little while. After the sedation wears off.”
If they give me more pain meds, I know I’ll fall asleep, and there are too many questions I need answers to first.
“How long have I been here? How long was I sedated?” I don’t take my eyes from Levi as he sits beside me.
“Five days,” he sighs. “The swelling on your brain took some time, and they didn’t want to wake you for fear that the healing process would go backward. Do you remember what happened?”
There’s a hopeful expression on his face, like maybe he doesn’t want me to remember. As much as I wish I could wipe the memories from my mind, I can’t, and he has to know that. It wouldn’t be fair to lie to him after everything he’s done, so I nod my head.
“What happened with Rick? They arrested you! You aren’t in trouble, are you?”
Levi grasps my hand that isn’t wrapped in a cast. “Relax, Mace, I’m not in any trouble. There was too much at the house against Rick. And he didn’t press charges.”
I take all this in, wondering why Rick wouldn’t press charges. Levi had beat him pretty badly, I remember, before the paramedics rushed him out of the room. That’s the last I remember before everything went dark.
Before I look around, I inhale a deep breath. The wretched antiseptic smell fills my lungs, and I scrunch my nose. An uneasy feeling takes place in my gut.
“Where’s Mitch? I thought he would be here…” My words trail off when my voice wavers.
Unable to look me in the eye, he runs a hand through his hair. A pained expression flickers across his face. I close my eyes, willing my brother to magically appear. I know the effort is useless, but it still hurts to think he would abandon me.
“Mace,” Levi sighs.
I slowly shake my head, not wanting to jar it around after I just woke up and reopen my eyes. “Do not make excuses for him. He would be here if it’s where he wanted to be.”
“I’m sorry, Maci. I told him they were waking you up today. I thought he would be here.”
I fight the tears threatening to spill over and look away from him. “I think I’ll take those pain meds now.”
Levi winces, but stands anyway. “I’ll get the nurse.
***
Hushed whispers wake me, but they aren’t coming from the room. The bright light I’ve become accustomed to the last few days is off, and it’s barely dawn outside the hospital window. I listen closely, now recognizing Levi and Mitch’s voices standing in the doorway.
“You look like shit,” Levi says.
I hold my breath. I don’t want their conversation to stop just yet because I’m awake. I want to hear what they say.
“Don’t like the haircut?” Mitch chuckles. “Thought it was time for a change.”
Mitch has avoided me for days. I don’t think Levi minded his absence because we both knew what he was doing without the words being spoken aloud.
“What are you doing here, Mitch?”
I listen intently for his reply.
“You said Maci might be discharged today. I want to bring her home.”
I don’t let Levi answer. I clear my throat, and both whip their heads toward me. I eye my brother as he steps into the room. Levi leans against the wall with his arms crossed, but doesn’t say anything more.
“I don’t think I’ll be going home with you. Levi can take me.” My voice is hoarse from sleep.
“Hey, Mace,” Mitch says, ignoring what I said. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here.”
As I glance over at my brother, a crippling heartache rises within me. Mitch’s eyes are bloodshot, his pupils swallowing all traces of color, and signs of exhaustion are plainly visible in his features.
“Oh, Mitch,” my voice breaks on a sob.
“Now don�
��t start none of that, Mace,” he grumbles.
His response sends my shackles up and I regain strength I didn’t know I could possess right now. “Well, I haven’t seen you in forever. You’ll have to excuse me if seeing you all screwed up on drugs is a bit alarming, Mitch.”
“It’s just a bit of fun, Maci.”
Knowing better than to believe a word out of my brother’s mouth, I look to Levi. “And is it really just a bit of fun? Nothing I should be concerned about?”
“Why are you asking Levi? I’m standing right here.”
I ignore my brother. Levi joins him at the side of my bed.
“Maybe because I’m the one who’s been here every day and night.” He lets out a menacing laugh I’ve never heard before. “Who knew your little lie about being her brother would give me access all the time since you didn’t bother to show up.”
Chapter 18
Levi
Mitch stared at me. I half expected him to start a fight, but he seemed to think over my words instead. He had to know I was only looking out for Maci, especially right now. I wouldn’t call her fragile, but she wasn’t the same woman I had fallen in love with over the weeks spent together, or the one who had grown stronger every day.
Mitch couldn’t possibly delude himself into not seeing how hurt Maci was by his behavior. With one last glance at his sister, Mitch headed back out the door.
Maci’s eyes don’t leave where he just exited, and I find myself at a loss for words. There’s nothing I can come up with that can comfort her.
How do I apologize for her brother’s lack of sympathy and continued drug use? How much pain does she have to suffer?
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her as I’m careful to sit on the bed beside her. She cuddles into my side, something she hasn’t done in a long while it seems.
“This isn’t on you, Levi. It isn’t your job to babysit him. He’s an adult who very well knows the consequences of drug use and addiction.”
I release a harsh laugh. “But I took on that role when I met you. Both of you. I didn’t know how bad his habit was until it was too late.”
When her eyes meet mine again, they are filled with unshed tears. “The only thing I wanted was a friend, Levi. A real friend, someone who didn’t ask me for things, and didn’t care whether I could increase their reputation on campus.” She sighs and leans in closer. I wrap my arms around her waist. “I suspected Mitchell was doing drugs before this semester started. His behavior was erratic, but he never failed to support me and be by my side at all times when I was at Rick’s. It wasn’t until that first night, the night you picked me up, that I suspected it was more than that.” A thoughtful expression crosses her features then. “Have you even left the hospital?”
I nod. “I had to arrange my classes to be taken online. And they delayed your classes for the time being due to the circumstances. I’m not allowed to stay here, though, so I have a hotel room close by that I’ve been staying at.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you’ve been here. Because I don’t think I could do this alone.”
I kiss her forehead lightly and inhale the strong scent of the hospital shampoo. I’ll have to remember to grab her something she usually buys instead. “I’ll always be here whenever you need me, Mace. What are friends for?” My chest tugs a little at the mention of the word friend, but I push those thoughts away for a time when I’m alone. Maci doesn’t need any added stress right now.
“In that case, maybe you could see about getting me out of this place? I want my own bed. A hot shower. Real food.” I peek down to see a smirk on her face.
“Let’s see if I can find a doctor. Then I’ll take you wherever you want to eat.”
Maci leans up to kiss my cheek. “You’re the best.”
Chapter 19
Maci
In the weeks following my release from the hospital, I’m overwhelmed with doctor and therapy appointments. I was referred to a neurologist early on to ensure there were no long-term effects from the blunt force trauma and swelling on my brain. It only took two weeks for them to determine that I’m fine and wouldn’t need further testing or treatment.
Levi and I have fallen back into a normal routine, too. We still hang out around the house or go out to lunch when he has free time. I must admit, though, I was glad when he decided to go back to campus for classes. In Mitch’s absence, Levi smothered me in attention.
I kept my classes delayed until next semester. Even the therapist I had been seeing prior to the incident felt it was a good idea. Something to do with allowing me to heal and moving past what happened. But I haven’t had the urge to write in my journal one bit. I don’t know if it’s the distraction Levi has provided or something else.
I feel lighter.
I feel free.
I feel…happy.
***
Several weeks later, Levi is driving me to what should be my final doctor appointment for my arm. The cast came off weeks ago, and I’ve had physical therapy three days a week ever since. October has become the longest month ever, each day dragging out until I’ve felt like I’m going insane. Mitch still only makes rare appearances, usually to sleep off whatever he’s on. And Levi has been away from the house more, too, allowing me a lot of time to think. I know that shouldn’t bother me. He did have his own life before I came along. But I thought we were developing into something more than friends there for some time. I haven’t been able to figure out if my feelings are totally one-sided, or if he feels the same way.
“You’re awfully quiet today,” Levi interrupts my swirling thoughts.
“Just thinking about all the free time I’ll have now that physical therapy is over.” It isn’t a complete lie. I had thought about it.
“Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do with all that free time on your hands?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, a smile on his face.
I laugh and shove his shoulder. This is the endless flirting I’m used to from Levi. Something I haven’t seen in weeks as he hasn’t been around much.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll travel, join the circus. You know, something crazy and completely out of character.”
I meant it as a joke, but Levi scowls. “You don’t need to change who you are. And I told you it was fine if you stayed.”
I bite my lip and think of what to tell him that’ll ease the impact my words may have. “Look, Levi, I’ve really appreciated all you’ve done for me. It’s been more than I deserve. But –“ “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. Don’t you understand that, yet, Maci?”
I stare at him a long moment before I continue what I had been saying. “But this town has a lot of bad memories. Everywhere I go, someone stares at me because they all know what happened. I need a fresh start, Levi, somewhere I’m not broken or seen as helpless.”
Levi grips the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. “Does Mitchell know what your plans are? Is he going with you?”
I stare out the window as we pull into the doctor’s parking lot. “Mitch and I don’t talk anymore. He made his choice the day I left the hospital.” I don’t let him answer and climb from the car.
The more I think about the idea of getting out of here for a little, the more it appeals. First, I needed to get this appointment out of the way.
Chapter 20
Levi
Since our disagreement over a month ago, I’ve barely talked to Maci. We’ve had casual conversations where I’ve had to tamp down the urge to drag her into my lap and give her a reason to stay. But I know that isn’t what she wants or what she needs.
Lately, I’ve been hanging out with Mitchell instead. I know it’s wrong, I know it won’t fix any of my problems, but I can’t seem to stop either. I’ve been down this road before, and it’s never easy to pull yourself back out. Thing is, the closer it gets to Maci’s departure, the less I care.
Instinctively, I glance around the crowded room for the woman of my obse
ssion. Maci is leaning against the counter, her face red and smiling. She’s laughing at something someone said. She looks amazing in her tight shorts and red tank, though.
She’s still the same innocent woman. I needed to keep reminding myself of that.
Because I still want her. I hate every bit of space between us; every guy at this damn party who chances a look at her. The same way I look at her. But she deserves those stares. No one can deny that she’s beautiful. I don’t know when I started seeing her differently. Well, that isn’t entirely true, but I won’t admit anything else.
Fuck.
I need to get ahold of my thoughts before quite a few people leave with broken bones. Somewhere in the past few months, Maci has gained an enormous amount of confidence and respect for herself. It makes her all the more attractive.
I watch as Mitchell wraps her in a hug. She laughs harder. Their relationship isn’t anywhere close to what it used to be, but he’s been trying since she broke the news that she’s leaving in a few days’ time.
Maci’s eyes light up and she stares around the room. Her gaze catches mine. There’s something there, something I should ignore.
Or maybe I’m seeing what I want to see.
I graduated from college today. This party is the last before everyone goes their separate ways. This is the first and last party Maci will be here for, too. My eyes train back on her across the room. The way she watches everyone, the way Kaylie (I think that’s her name) is whispering in her ear.
I can imagine she’s telling Maci to find someone to sneak off with tonight. I don’t think she would, but just in case, it isn’t going to happen. Not as long as I’m here. Not as long as Mitchell’s here.
Speaking of, he’s walking toward me. I put my focus on him. His unsteady steps, the glaze in his eyes. Mitchell isn’t going to be any help if he’s on something, and I know he is. His eyebrows draw together. He knows that I know.