He never deserved you. I don’t deserve you. No one does.
My breaths were coming out in labored grunts with how hard I was fucking Grace, but that awful voice kept getting through. “It’s not about love with girls like you, huh, Grace?”
I loved you.
“I wish I had known then what I know now, and I could have spent that summer just giving you some dick instead of everything else that I gave you.”
I loved you so much. I still fucking love you.
She was whimpering, but the second tears started leaking down the side of her face, I dropped my eyes back to where we were connected. Grace wasn’t the victim. She didn’t get to cry like she was.
Not wanting to see the emotions on her face or the pain in her eyes, I focused on where we were one. I didn’t let up on my assault, and I kept slamming into her viciously, but I brought my right hand down to where our bodies were joined and my thumb began playing with that sensitive button I’ve always wanted to take into my mouth.
“Styx...” she moaned, and I hated how much I wanted her to cum. I hated how much she was twisting all my emotions into a chaos I couldn’t control.
And that fucking voice said, “Your pussy is so fucking tight, I might just forgive you anything, baby.”
That’s a lie. I would forgive you anything if you just loved me back.
I played with her clit until I could feel body start to reach the point of no return. In no time, Grace was screaming my name and cumming all over my cock. And it was my name on her scream that had me unloading inside her body with no thought to protection or what I could be doing to our futures.
With her tremors subsiding and my dick softening, I pulled out of her body and I ignored the quiet hiss that escaped her lips. I concentrated on the task at hand and stuffed myself back inside my pants. When I couldn’t ignore her any longer, I looked up as she sat her body up. Her eyes were like liquid emeralds and I hated that I still loved her.
With every broken piece of me, I looked into her precious face and asked, “How many more guys do you owe apologies to for being a raging bitch?” Her face paled. “Because, I gotta tell you, if that’s how you’re going to apologies to all of them, you’ll be happy to know that they’ll all probably forgive you.” I took a step back. “Like I almost did.” And I turned and walked out of the music room. But what I hadn’t counted on was Grace Hale not being the girl who had crushed my heart our sophomore year.
I also hadn’t counted on returning to the scene of the crime the next morning when I had been kept up all night by the vicious shit I had done to her.
And I sure as fuck hadn’t counted on finding the Grace Hale curled up asleep in the corner of the music room.
When I had walked into the music room a half hour earlier than school was scheduled to begin, I had just wanted to…see if I could still feel her. But when I had walked in and saw her curled up in the corner asleep, my legs had failed me when I saw the faint traces of blood smeared on her thighs. Curled up the way she was, her skirt hid nothing.
When I was able to stand again, I had walked to where she was, crouched over her, and shook her shoulder gently. “Grace?”
She startled and shot up, and I didn’t miss the wince. Her eyes darted around the room like a cornered animal, and when her eyes finally landed on mine, they widened before they exploded with pain and humiliation. When I went to reach for her, she flinched. “Don’t touch me,” she rushed out.
I pulled my hands back in a surrendering motion. “Grace-”
“Don’t!” she cried.
But I fucking love you! And I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry!
Her head started swiveling about, and when her eyes landed on her purse and backpack, she scrambled over towards her stuff. And watching Grace Hale, crawling on her hands and knees, broken and scared, dropped me on my ass. I sat with my knees drawn up, my elbows resting on the tips, and my hands pulling at my hair as Grace grabbed her stuff and raced out of the room.
What in the fuck have I done?
I finally jumped up and ran after her, but by the time I made it to the student parking lot, she was gone. And I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do now.
Chapter 15
Grace~
I showered until my skin was scraped raw.
I had known what Styx was going to do, but I had never expected it to hurt as badly as it had. I didn’t regret giving him my virginity because that should have always had been his. Had I not been the horrible person I had been, he would have had it long ago.
No.
The pain was from knowing just how deeply Styx’s hatred for me ran. Because he had to hate me something awful to do what he did and say all those the horrible things he said to me. He had been inside me, and knowing he’d been the only one, he still treated me like trash.
Like I had treated him.
Only he had heartache to justify what he’d done. I didn’t.
Finally emerging from the bathroom, I slipped on some pajamas and there was a knock on my door just as I’d finished tying my hair on top of my head. My brother opened the door and walked in. “I’m not going to school this morning. I’m hungover as hell and-” He stopped when he got a good look at my face. “Gr…Grace?”
Tears started pouring from my eyes, and I was already collapsing when Sterling’s arms wrapped around me. “Oh, Sterling…” I sobbed, not knowing what to do. I didn’t know how to make the painful regret go away.
Sterling walked me to my bed and sat down still holding me. “Grace, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice tight with fear.
“I…oh, God…”
Sterling pulled back and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Grace, are you hurt?”
I looked up at him. “Not in the way you think,” I choked out.
“If Seth-”
I shook my head. “No, Sterling…Seth didn’t…”
“For fuck’s sake, Grace,” he snapped, patience never being one of his strong suits. “Tell me what the hell is going on!”
I wiped my face of the tears that just couldn’t seem to stop. My shuttered breaths were making it hard to talk, but I did my best. “I…I’m in love with Styx Reinhart,” I confessed.
Sterling’s hands dropped from my shoulder. “What?”
Saying the words felt like a confession. “I’m in love with Styx Reinhart,” I repeated with a little more conviction this time.
My brother cocked his head and as he pierced with his green gaze, it felt as if he could see right through me. “You’re in love with Styx Reinhart?” I nodded. “Then you better start talking, Grace. And it better be the whole goddamn truth and not just the easy pieces.” But even through his harsh demand, my brother had gotten up, walking into my bathroom, grabbed a box a tissue, and brought it back to me.
My brother.
Placing the box of tissue on my lap, Sterling barked, “Now spill.”
I wiped my eyes and nose, and took a deep, shuttered breath. “I didn’t exactly tell you the entire truth about the summer I met Styx,” I started.
“No shit,” he deadpanned.
“Ster-”
“When I had told Mom and Dad that you’d already met a guy who was perfect for you but you threw him away because of how they raised us, I was referring to how you had told me you and Styx could have been something more than friends once upon a time. When you dissed him, you told me you dismissed him as a friend. Nothing more. So, you better start telling me what the fuck is going on, Grace. And I want the truth.”
“The summer I met him, we became more than friends,” I finally admitted. “I spent every second with him at that music program, and we had texted when we could, and…it had been perfect.’
Sterling ran his hands down his face. “Goddamn it, Grace.”
“At that program, I wasn’t Grace Hale, you know. I was just Grace, and even though Styx knew who I was, he hadn’t treated me like Wakefield’s Grace Hale.” I could hear my voice cracking. “He treated me like Gra
ce, the girl who didn’t know a lick about music and couldn’t play an instrument to save her life. He treated me like I was a real person and not just my name.”
My brother’s eyes were like lasers into my soul. “Grace…”
I nodded, knowing there wasn’t anything to say. “Anyway, we became close and our friendship turned into something more.” I could feel my face blushing. While Sterling and I were closer than most siblings, I still didn’t need him knowing the details. “We never…you know…but we did a lot of other things. We…things couples in love do.” Sterling closed his eyes and let out a deep breath like this was just as uncomfortable for him as it was for me. “I was in love with him back then, Sterling, but I don’t think I knew it. I mean…what the hell would I know about love, right? I was so vain and vapid back then, I couldn’t even recognize it when it had been staring me in the face.”
“Grace, emotions aren’t always so cut and dry,” he said. “Cut yourself some slack. You were only fifteen.”
I took a tissue and started wiping at the fresh tears. Ignoring my brother, I continued, “The day he came up to me that first day of sophomore year, he had told me he had wanted to surprise me. He’d known for two weeks that he had gotten into Blackstone, but he had kept it a secret because he had wanted to surprise me.” I couldn’t stop the sob that escaped. “Styx stood there…thinking that we were going to be together, and…I…”
Sterling’s arm wrapped around my shoulder. “Grace…”
I pulled back and looked up into my brother’s face. “I told him he wasn’t good enough, Sterling,” I bit out. “I told him we couldn’t even be friends because of what my friends would think. I took his love and threw it in his face before tossing it in the trash without a second backward glance. That’s the kind of person I was, Sterling. That’s your sister.” Sterling’s jaw ticked. “Even for all of your horrible ways, you’ve never played with anyone like that. You might be without a conscience where other people are concerned, and you might not care who is crushed around your power, but you’re not a liar and you don’t lead people on. You’re too honest, but everyone knows where they stand with you. Me? I…I told the only boy who I have ever truly cared for that he hadn’t been good enough for me. That his love hadn’t been good enough. And…and I don’t know how to make that debilitating feeling go away.”
“Grace, an apolo-”
A horrible, dark laugh escaped. “Apologize? Is that what you were going to suggest?” He nodded, and I finished my horrible tale. “I did, Sterling. I did. And you know what happened? Styx asked me how sorry was I? He asked me what was I willing to do to make it up to him.”
My brother’s entire body tensed. “And?”
I didn’t bother wiping way the tears this time. “I let…I let him…in the music room at Blackstone,” I confessed brokenly.
“Goddamn it, Grace!” Sterling roared.
I ignored his outburst as he stood up and started pacing. “He…he didn’t hurt me, but…everything out of his mouth was everything I deserved.”
Sterling’s feet stopped in front of me. “What did he say?”
I looked up at him. “Nothing. I just-”
“What did he say to you?!” Sterling yelled. “All of it, Grace. I want to know all of it!”
I wasn’t going to do that, but I knew I needed to give my brother something. “When…when he was…done, he said…he wanted to know how many other guys I needed to apologize to because…because they’ll forgive me if…if that’s how I’m going to apologize,” I finished on a whisper.
“And what did you say?” he asked through clenched teeth.
I shook my head. “Nothing,” I admitted. “I watched him walk out of the music room, and I curled up in a corner and cried myself to sleep. That’s where I was last night.”
Sterling. Looked. Positively. Murderous.
“Styx…he was in the music room this morning, for some reason, and he’s the one who woke me up,” I continued to confess. “I was…shocked and so humiliated, I raced out of there and came straight home. I took a shower and…I’m just so tire, and so…my body hurts, Sterling. Not just my mind and heart. I slept on that floor, and now I’m just so tired.”
My brother grabbed my shoulders and hauled me into his arms. He held me as I cried, and I was honestly surprised I could still shed tears. I was sure I had cried them all out last night and in the shower this morning.
“It’s going to be okay, Grace,” Sterling lied. “We’ll get through this, okay?” I nodded not believing him, but not wanting to hurt him by not letting him comfort me. And we stayed that way until he put me to bed and sat with me until I fell asleep, yet again.
Chapter 16
Styx~
Grace’s absence in first period had been hell on my soul. I still couldn’t get the image of her curled up in the music room out of my head. And every time I replayed how she crawled away from me, I wanted to reach inside my chest, pull out my heart, and just beg her to take it.
In all my life, I’ve never treated a girl so horribly. I’ve never been so cruel to someone. I’ve never been heartless or unconscionable. My parents raised me to respect people as well as myself. And if my father ever found out what I’d done to Grace, he’d probably disown me. My father loved my mother and adored my sister. He raised me to respect women and cherish their differences from men. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to face them at home tonight. And Temperance? I couldn’t imagine a guy ever treating my little sister like that. The very thought gutted me.
And then, I also had to wonder at Sterling Hale’s absence during second period. Now, granted, he could be missing for any number of reasons because Sterling Hale could do whatever the hell he wanted at Blackstone, but something told me his absence had something to do with Grace.
“Is that Hale coming this way?” Davion asked.
It was after second period, and we were going into our first break of the day. Davion, Lauren, and I had been about to head out to the science courtyard after putting my stuff in my locker. I turned in the direction Davion was facing, and I saw Sterling Hale storming our way.
I glanced back at Davion. “Take Lauren and move back,” I instructed because I knew what this was. And I knew what was coming.
And I deserved it.
The only thing that was going to prompt me to fight back was because, I knew if I didn’t, Sterling Hale would kill me. You could see it on his face as he stalked the hallway and how his eyes bore into my face like a man on a mission.
I was going to give him the first hit because, as much as I hated to agree with anything that asshole, Seth Burns, says, Grace was worth it.
As soon as Hale was close enough, he confirmed everything I had been thinking. “You motherfucker,” he growled right before his right fist slammed into my face.
It was on after that.
My back had hit the lockers, but the blow hadn’t put me on the ground. Another fist came swinging my way, and I threw my arm up to block it. Sterling Hale was so furious, his anger could be felt like waves batting down everyone around us.
Another hit came at my kidneys, and that’s when I started fighting back. The fight was bloody and ferocious as we were learning how well-matched we were against each other. We were around the same height and build, but sometimes that didn’t matter if someone didn’t know how to fight.
Sterling Hale knew how to fight.
He fought like a motherfucking street thug, and not some preppy rich kid.
I wasn’t sure how much longer we fought, but the hits were getting harder and the noise around us was climbing to reach a roar that could be heard all over BPA.
The entire time, Sterling didn’t utter a word. Neither of us did. This was Grace’s business, and we were not going to be the ones to start gossip about her. The fucked-up thing was that, while it felt like we were both fighting to the death, we were both fighting for Grace. Sterling as her brother, and the guy who loved her more than anything. And me, the guy who jus
t loved her.
“Enough!” came a bellow of adulthood. “Stop it, at once!”
In the end, it took three teachers to pull us apart. And like two lions facing off, we stared at each other, both of us bloody messes, snarling because this wasn’t over.
Or, at least, I hadn’t thought it was until Sterling shook off Professor Christie and stepped to me. And of course, the teachers had let him. Professor Daniels had let me go, and I would have sworn Sterling was about to tell me my future was fucked and instruct the teachers to escort me off the property, but that’s not what he did.
In a voice low enough for only me to hear, he rumbled, “You guys are even now.” Then he shook his head. “Actually, you win,” he amended. “You’ve won, Reinhart. Now stay the fuck away from my sister.” What? “This shit is between us, and I won’t get the school involved,” he continued. “But if you ever go near my sister again, I will destroy you. If I don’t fucking kill you, I’ll ruin everything you hold dear until you do it your damn self.” With that, he turned and stormed off.
No one said a word as Sterling stormed back the way he had come. Even the teachers seemed at a loss as of what to do. Everyone was kind of just standing around, wishing they could have heard, but also not knowing really what to do.
Finally, Lauren reached for my arm. “Come one, Styx,” she whispered. “We need to get you to the infirmary.”
It wasn’t until she said those words that I felt the aches and was aware of the blood dripping down my face. Most guys would feel comfort in the fact that Sterling had walked way looking every bit as damaged as I was, but that didn’t make me feel better.
Grace had obviously gone home and told her brother everything, and whatever she had told him was detailed enough to send him to look for me. And my first pathetic though was how he was never going to let me date his sister now that he knew what he knew.
“Styx, man, you’re bleeding everywhere,” Davion added. “Let’s get you to the nurse.”
The Blackstone Prep Academy Duet Page 8