by P J Mann
Luciano took some time to answer, that simple question seemed the most difficult at that moment. “It’s not the fact of not having slept... I…I still can’t figure out what happened. It’s like living in a nightmare, with the knowledge that soon I’ll wake up. Nevertheless, this is something, which takes far too long to happen. I don’t know how to explain the way I feel, but I’m glad to be with you now.”
Her presence represented the only fragment of lucidity in his life. If he could rewind his life, there would have been many things he would have undone, except falling in love with her.
They started to walk the via dell’Università to a cafeteria, where most of the students liked to gather for breakfast and lunch. Around the University, many cafeterias were to be chosen, but that one was their favorite, maybe because it was the place where they met for the first time, and where they shared their most tender memories.
Yet, the recent happenings shook the feelings Luciano held in his heart. As they walked inside, he was grabbed by an unspeakable need to leave and never to return. Hesitating on the entrance, he glanced at her, as if to beg for choosing another place or for an explanation to that sudden sensation rising straight from his guts.
“What’s wrong?” Irina wondered noticing his confusion and hesitation. Her hand reached his shoulder with a gentle touch, as if to offer consolation to the grief for the loss of his father.
Glancing at her, he shook his head, “I don’t know, but I don’t want to be here. I can’t explain the reason why, but it’s like something is fighting my decision to come into this place; like a warning of some sort of danger.” His lips twitched into a frown.
She’d never seen him as confused as he was at that moment and wondered whether it had to do with her presence, the sudden turn their lives would have taken or anything else mixed with the recent events. Whatever the reason, she understood she needed to be with him, and as close as possible.
“Let’s go somewhere else, then. We don’t need to be in this particular bar,” she whispered softly, guiding him outside.
“Do you think I’m crazy?” He wondered, walking the street in the direction of the next cafeteria. “I know it’s completely irrational. There’s nothing to be afraid of. The Police will keep searching for the assassin, and after a maximum time of one year this story will be set on the backburner until new clues will show up. Yet, I don’t feel completely reassured, something keeps telling me things can get quite nasty and we’re going into very difficult times.”
Holding her hand tighter into his own he realized the repercussions that murder could bring to their relationship.
Whether it would have been strong enough to withstand the storm or it would have come out torn by it, they knew it was important to stick together for the sake of their mental health.
They were in that situation together and would have come out together, either as lovers or friends. A long pause of silence fell between them, as they reached the bar on Tiburtine Road.
Although the rain offered a break to the city, they preferred to have a seat in the room inside the cafeteria. The scent of coffee and fresh pastry filled the room and pleased their senses as they came inside. The place had a few patrons seated at the tables, and they chose one that was on the far end of the room, where they could hope for some privacy and chat.
Nevertheless, they remained in silence for a while before one of them could find the way to express what was on their minds.
Willing to break the freezing silence between them, he turned his eyes at her. “Waking up in the room my mother prepared for me, gave me a strange feeling of what I’m also guilty for,” he said, keeping her hands in his own, collecting all the thoughts swirling in his brain since the previous day. “For all my life I considered my father an example to follow. I have been looking up to him as a role model. Not even the fact that he cheated on my mother and got divorced by her to date your mother helped me to see his true colors. His behavior toward my mother didn’t influence my opinion of him and the need to be not simply accepted but being appreciated became a priority. I needed him to be proud of me. I failed to understand he was mostly absorbed with his own life, which not necessarily included me.”
Irina remained silent allowing him to take out the bitterness and the feelings he kept inside himself for, perhaps, too long of a time.
Since she met Luciano, she could sense his frustration toward an absent father, who could find something better than spend his time with his son.
“I’m not blaming your mother for dating my father; she fell in love with him, and it wasn’t her duty to care about his relationship with me. I mostly blame myself for having been so blind and having decided to go and live with him, rather than moving away with my mother.”
There wasn’t a steady thought he could grab onto, the most important thing he considered was getting rid of the Police from his apartment and his life. His hands grabbed his head as if to avoid it from exploding.
“I do!” her voices filled with bitterness and resentment, toughened as she clenched her fist, squeezing Luciano’s fingers. “She said she loved him, but I know she was aiming to have an easy life and get out of that club.”
“What if they start suspecting me of his assassination?” He suddenly raised his head to look Irina in her eyes. “How am I going to defend myself from such an accusation?”
“Don’t think about it. They couldn’t possibly accuse you! Everybody knows how much you loved your father, everybody who knew anything about the relationship between you two...”
“...Could have said we were often arguing!” Luciano interrupted, bringing the family relationship into a more realistic perspective. “I’m almost certain our neighbor heard the times we were raising our voices against each other when he promised to spend the weekends with me, only to break his promises regularly. Everybody could testify my frustrations of being the last of his thoughts!”
“There isn’t any proof against you; there isn’t any proof against any of us. Did you have the chance to talk to the detective who’s taking care of the investigation?” She lowered her voice, glancing at the two girls who came to have a seat at the table close to theirs.
She turned to face him. “We need a proper place where to talk; a place where nobody can hear us.” Her whisper came as a breeze to his skin.
With a nod, and without having had the time to get a coffee, he stood from the chair, gently pulling her to follow him, and without saying another word to each other, they left the cafeteria.
“It’s not easy to find a good place where we can talk in private. I believe the best one is my mother’s apartment. I’m now living with her, and she’ll be at work until five. There, we won’t have anyone who can possibly hear us.” He wondered why he didn’t think about inviting her there before. That could have saved some time and the awkward feeling of being watched at every step.
They walked hand in hand to the parking lot of the University, where Luciano parked his car. A giggle escaped Irina as she noticed the utilitarian car he used.
For the first time, also his face brightened, “I would have loved taking the Lamborghini, but I predict we’ll have it back after a few months. The investigation of the forensic team might take some time to analyze all the traces. I hope they’ll return it in one piece.” He started up the engine and immersed himself in his thoughts.
“When was the last time you talked to your mother?” That sudden question interrupting the background noise of the engine reached her ears like the boom of thunder on a clear blue sky.
Almost wondering what he asked, she took a pause, “it was yesterday. The Police had already come to ask her questions about their relationship, and she was quite shaken. For now, they considered her the main suspect, except a random thief, or someone in his working environment who considered him an obstacle to his plans to be in charge of the firm.” She paused for a second, thinking about the possible suspects. “She doesn’t know I’m back in Italy; I simply called her yesterday wi
th an excuse. I’m not going to come even close to her, as she begged me not to return here until things would be cleared. She is scared that my presence would make things difficult to explain.”
“This is going to get more complicated than I thought,” he mumbled to himself. His father didn’t have any other siblings, and being the only son himself, the ownership of the firm he built was going to be given to him and perhaps to his former wife. What am I going to do?
He wasn’t a complete stranger to the firm, and he chose the faculty of Business and Accountancy at the university because this would have helped him when he would have taken over his father’s business. This was supposed to happen gradually, as Claudio decided to retire, and it would have required more time to get familiar with all the aspects of the business.
“Luciano, remember the plan and stick with it. None of us will be accused of murder. The Police will certainly investigate my mother’s life, and there, my father will appear with his abuses and his criminal life. It won’t take long before another suspect populates the list.”
Nodding, he lowered his glance. “I do remember the plan; I feel like the Police will think about me before going to investigate the past life of your mother.”
“Everything will be fine; you’ll see unless there’s something else bothering you besides the investigation” Irina tried to guess his thoughts by the way he tightly gripped the steering wheel. She pursed her lips, almost regretting having asked an apparently stupid question. Obviously, there are more implications to his father’s death than just the need to stay away from any suspect.
Luciano continued to drive as if he didn’t hear what she said, but as the car stopped in front of the building where he was living, he leaned his head on the headrest.
“I guess I’ll have to solve one problem at a time,” he said after a long pause. His voice sounded calm, but the light shakes of his hands revealed a storm going on in his soul. He turned his head rolling on the headrest, and as his eyes met hers, he simpered. “This has nothing to do with us.”
His voice but a whisper, like the wind through the trees on a summer evening, as his hand reached for her thigh in an encouraging caress. He wasn’t sure whether he was trying to encourage himself or reassure her about their relationship.
“I won’t go away; I’ll be by your side, whatever the situation will turn into,” she tried to smile.
“We need to plan our actions from now on, and we need to be careful. I’m not sure whether this might mean for us to stay away from each other for a while or not...” A frown creased her forehead.
“Let’s talk about it inside, please. I can’t be alone today.” his voice trembled, overwhelmed by the thunderstorm building up in his soul.
“Sure,” she opened the door of the car and got out, hurrying to get inside as avoiding being seen. Although nobody in the neighborhood knew her, she felt like her presence should never be connected with Luciano.
With rushed steps, they hurried to the building, glancing around, hoping there were no Police cars coming for more questioning. Although Luciano was expecting them to inform him about their arrival or to get some sort of appointment to ask some questions, there was always the chance to have them around unexpectedly.
Holding their breaths until they reached the apartment, a relieved exhale escaped Luciano as he closed the door behind him. He felt his knees suddenly weak and held himself to the door, trying to keep from falling to the floor.
A subtle hysterical laughter broke the spell, freeing the tension between them. His mind got clearer and his thoughts sharper.
Luciano knew what he needed to do, and perhaps it was better going on with his life. That was, at least what was expected of him and with the time, things would have returned to a new normality. Glancing around, he wasn’t alone, he had his mother, who would have never turned her back on him, and then there was Irina, the woman who shared with him more than any other human being during his first 21 years of life in the world.
“We shouldn’t allow our fears and feelings overwhelm us. We need to be sharp, and keep calm,” he breathed, walking away from the door as his legs could carry him.
With a nod, she gleamed at him and scanned the surroundings to get familiar with the new environment. “This is a nice place.”
“Thank you, would you like a coffee?” He asked, guiding her to have a seat on the sofa in the living room. He felt the whole situation surreal, in other circumstances, when they were alone in the home of his father, having a coffee would have been the last thing he thought about.
However, in that situation, he wasn’t sure sex was even on the list of the things he could consider, especially in his mother’s apartment. It was an environment, which was still alien to him.
After his mother moved away due to the divorce, their lives seemed to divide and although he loved her, the fact of not living like a family anymore created a deep rupture in their relationship.
Thinking of bringing Irina to his bedroom, felt like abusing the hospitality of a friend.
With a grin, Irina walked slowly toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “How about you show me the rest of the house, starting with your bedroom?” Her voice whispering in his ear.
The feeling of her body close to his and the scent of her skin, melding with her perfume, was enough to make him forget about everything which gave any restraint to his instincts, and driven by the growing passion and the need to feel the touch of her skin, he lifted her from the floor as their lips fused together into a passionate kiss.
CHAPTER 7
Meantime, life for Luciano returned to normal, or at least what was supposed to become a new normality.
Neither he nor his mother heard anything from the Police or from Detective Scala, who was conducting the investigation, and having requested not to have any mention about the details on the press, the Newspapers limited their articles to short columns about the news in the case.
If there was something Giulia always despised, it was the way some of the press tried to intrude into the private lives of common citizens, when a murder happened.
Certain things had nothing to do with the reporting of the news, and everything with the need for sensationalism that sells more copies of this or the other paper. She felt disgusted by the way they were feeding their readers with fabricated news and hypotheses, theories about who could have been the killer and why he murdered a man like Claudio Calvani.
Certainly, according to Giulia, a jerk like her ex-husband got exactly what he deserved, yet this was simply her own opinion driven mostly by the bitterness she feared would have resided in her heart for the rest of her life.
Nevertheless, that disgrace wasn’t something she wished for her son, who obviously viewed his father as a God, a person to emulate, not for what concerned the way he treated his wife, but for the way he conducted his business. For the sake of her son, she stepped in to help with the funeral, once the body would be released by the forensics. One thing she was expecting was Luciano to receive the letter from the attorney with the invitation to the reading of Claudio’s holographic wills. The firm had to remain in business and needed a leader who could take charge.
Returning from work, Giulia found two letters bearing the name of the Antonioni law firm on the mailbox. One, as she expected for Luciano, and the other was the invitation to the reading extended to her.
“Luciano!” she called from the main door as she entered the apartment. “There’s a letter for you. It’s the invitation for the reading of your father’s testament.”
Coming from his room, Luciano gaped at her as if he wasn’t expecting anything like this to happen. “How do you know what it is?” He wondered, taking the letter in his hands.
“Because I received exactly the same one from your father’s attorney, and there was the invitation,” she replied, slipping her heels away with a deep relieving sigh.
With a puzzled expression frowning his brows, Luciano opened the letter and started to read it,
“It will be for Friday,” a mumble escaped his mouth.
“Are you busy?” Joked Giulia.
“No, I was wondering. What I am curious to know is who else had been invited. Should we tell this detail to the Police?” He wondered, following his mother to the living room as she collapsed on the couch.
Yawning and massaging her neck, she tried to recall what was agreed with the detective last time she met him. “I guess, at least Detective Scala should be informed. All the people who will benefit from your father’s death are those who are most likely to be suspected of his assassination. As for me, I’m surprised to be invited, I was sure your father left everything to you and his new girlfriend.” That last word was spelled with an unveiled bitterness tone in her voice.
Luciano sat down beside his mother, holding her to himself. A smile brightened up her face as she kissed his hair, “I’m sorry if my bitterness toward your father has spoiled your memories. The fact that it didn’t work between us, shouldn’t mean you had to take part in our divorce. You know he loved you as much as I do,” she said, feeling elated to have Luciano once again back in her life.
They both remained holding each other in silence for a while.
“You have all the reasons to be bitter toward him. He hasn’t been a model of fairness toward you. Regardless of whether he is now dead, we should forget about old grudges.” He stood smiling at her.
“One thing for sure, is sooner or later, you’ll need to step in and think about the business he’d been building up. It wasn’t simply something he built for himself. He always hoped you would have taken over on leading the firm. Perhaps, after this reading and when the bureaucratic matters will be solved, you’ll have to make a decision about it.”
Luciano nodded slowly, thinking about the way he would have approached the issue. His intention was not to sell the business, that was something he didn’t want to even think about. Yet, someone needed to take the reins and start working in the same direction his father did.