by Amelia Wilde
“Please, don’t think about me.” She combs my hair and scrunches her head. “Just as I was beginning to get used to the long hair and the permanent stubble.”
“Time for me to go. I’m going to check on Hugo and Brynn.” Kevin pulls out his phone. “She had a long day and is shaken. If you need me, just send a text.”
Aspen smiles, putting her hands on top of mine and finds my eyes. “My parents had a terrible relationship. They used others to hurt each other, even my brother and me. Many things drove them to behave so badly, most of all miscommunication.”
She inhales and exhales twice, swallowing too. “It’s hard for me to do it, but you make it easy. The way I reacted during your mom’s funeral was atrocious. I can’t promise that there won’t be another meltdown ever again. I’m human. Living is scarier than hiding behind unfounded and old fears.”
I squeeze her hand, encouraging her to continue. “Waking up in the same bed, making sweet love at any time of the day…or having rough, kinky sex. I want us fighting for the toothpaste and for who’ll be cooking dinner since we both work.”
She exhales. “I love you. And for the first time, I don’t want to hide or avoid it. Honestly, I’m scared that during the next mission you’ll be gone for months, that you might not even come back. That will stay in my heart. It’ll hurt, but I’ll be happy because I’ll carry the best memories of us with me for as long as I live.”
“This was my last long-term mission,” I say, holding her gaze. “From this day forward—or as soon as I'm out of here. I want to come home after a long day at work to you.”
“Bradley told me you’re his partner now.”
I nod. “Tiago, another friend of ours, and I paid him some money to buy into the business.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to focus on short-term missions, planning, and training new recruits.” I disclose some of my plans. I still have to talk to Mason some more. “I want to come home every night, to our bed. What do you think?”
“Yes.” She leans forward kissing my lips. “I want that too.”
“Marry me, beautiful,” I reach for her hand, kissing the inside of her wrist. “Big wedding or small. Your choice as long as it’s soon. I don’t want to wait long to start our life together—future Mrs. Hawkins.”
“It doesn’t have to be big or fancy...any place is perfect, as long as I marry you. That’s my dream wedding. The one with you as my groom.” She takes my mouth in a slow, deep kiss. Our tongues dance, erasing the distance, the pain and the fear of never seeing her again.
“I saved his life, I should be the maid of honor,” Brynn demands, interrupting the kiss.
“Why did I call you?” Aspen growls, kissing me one last time before moving out of Brynn’s way.
“Technically, you called the nurses. I happened to be walking by and offered my assistance before going home. Kevin is waiting for me.” She starts writing the numbers on the monitor in my chart, then looks at the plaster on my arm and the bandage on my upper ribs. “From one to ten, what’s your pain level?”
One hundred? “Nine. When can I go home?”
“I’d say a week from today. If you heal faster, we can work something out. Knowing Aspen, she would rather have you at home.” Finishing her notes, she lifts her gaze. Her attention is now on Aspen. “You have to go back to rest. I’ll be back at six tomorrow morning. Promise me that you’ll go to the house. Once he has a room, we can find you a bed.”
“Fine.”
“Don’t fool around, and go to sleep.” She squeezes my hand. “You did well, Anderson. I’m glad I didn’t have to do anything drastic.”
We exchange a glance. I told her my last words to Aspen in case I didn’t make it. She asked me to shut up and be a good patient, or she’d castrate me.
“Sit by me, Aspen.” I move to my right side making some space for her to join me in bed.
Carefully, she shifts the tubes, then walks around the bed and sits right next to me. “So, one in a seven billion, huh?” She traces the newest tattoo on my chest, the one I had Kevin ink the night before I went out on this last mission.
Among seven billion I'll always find you. I'll always choose you. Even before our souls branded each other, I knew we were meant to be together forever. I’m yours, yesterday, today, and always.
Epilogue
Anderson
“A new one?” Aspen enters the kitchen staring at the mug in the middle of the table. “This time you wrapped it, why?”
I shrug, waiting by the side of the table, anticipating her reaction.
“I think is my favorite, right next to the one you gave me last week.” She smiles, sighing. “Doctors Heal with Love and Band-aids.”
It’s cool, the band-aid has her name. Kevin and I found a guy who hand paints mugs, we just create the drawings for him. Brynn and Aspen are on cloud number nine with those things. I just have to find a place to store them all. Today’s mug has a drawing of her favorite chocolates and reads,
Pediatrician, will work for candy
She pulls it by the wrapping, her brows knit together as she stares at the plastic covering. Her attention moves to me as she shakes it and it rattles.
“Hmm.”
“Open it.” I shove my good arm inside my pocket, the box burning my hand.
Carefully, she opens it, smiling at the treasure inside. Her eyes squint as she stares at the M&Ms, and then they open wide, taking a few out and reading them out loud. “Will you…” she eats it and then the next one, “Marry me?”
That’s my cue to go down on one knee.
“Aspen Winter Zimmerman.” The tip of her hand touches her lips, her eyes are wide. I kind of proposed to her at the hospital a few weeks ago, but we didn’t talk about it afterwards. I had the ring ready inside my drawer before I left for the mission but I wanted to have the custom chocolates done before I could make it official.
Opening the red velvet box, I exhale the words I harbor in my heart, “Remember the first words we exchanged?” She narrows her gaze, those eyes watery but holding the tears.
“You asked, ‘When did you get here?’” I answered, “The question is ‘where have you been all this time, beautiful?’”
She laughs, shaking her head. We both know she was talking to Hugo, our dog. “My soul, along with my heart already knew who you were, that I had finally found you. Since that day, we started building this relationship, adding love to it and seeing it grow. You taught me to love. That love is an intangible feeling—totally unpredictable, unstable, and worth having and fighting for. My days have never been this bright, and my worst days are bearable because you are with me. We learned that love is the only thing that matters and that it doesn’t hurt. Love is a place where we can be safe. I’m here to ask you to marry me: to be my wife, to be my safe haven, to let me be everything you need. I want to spend eternity with you while we make each other happy.”
Aspen sets the mug on top of the table, bends down, and holds my hands while looking into my soul. “Yes, a thousand times yes. I…” She breaths, the tears breaking the barrier. “I…”
She can’t talk anymore, the emotion overwhelms her. I take her into my arms, standing up and kissing her the way we always do. I surrender my heart to her, my soul melding with hers. Remembering this might be our last kiss, and praying for a billion more.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading Until I Fall: A story that is near and dear to my heart. A small tribute to some of my loved ones who are now in heaven. Perhaps that's why this is the one book I’ve written that has made me cried the most. Some scenes gutted me when I wrote them, and each time I’ve read them afterward. This time I made it too personal, and too close to home.
As many of you know, I was raised in Mexico City by my grandmother and grew with a close family. My maternal grandmother’s family was pretty tight-knit while I was growing up. Every birthday, Christmas, Easter, or special occasion, my great-uncles, great-aunts, u
ncles, aunts and cousins would gather at my great-grandparents’ home.
My grandmother is the oldest of six. And at ninety-seven, she’s still healthy and full of life. She had three sisters and two brothers. Last October, I received a call from my aunt telling me that Natalia, her sister, had died. I saw Natalia almost daily as a child. My aunt was exceptional, and among all my great-aunts and uncles, I loved her the most. She was wise, kind, and loving. But there was a certain sadness in her heart.
When she was eighteen, her fiancé died in a car accident—only a few days before her wedding. She never dated, and always spoke about Octavio, as the most amazing man in the world. She never moved on; she never learned to love again. For almost seventy years, she lived with the memories of her teenaged-love. Was that enough? I’ll never know. As I mentioned, she died last October. She was in the hospital only for a few weeks before we lost her. It was too fast and too soon. Yet, I felt like she needed her happily ever after. Maybe she has it now, in heaven with Octavio. One way or another, I wrote a different story, with a different outcome.
As I got ready for NaNoWriMo, I thought about writing this story, but chose a different plot. Little that I knew, at the end of January I was making so many changes while making sure my Aunt Natalia got her happily ever after.
From all those little bits and pieces of my family’s past—their personalities and mine—came all of my characters. One of the things my aunt did was take care of my great-grandfather and great-grandmother when they died. Just like Aspen did for Jonathan. I used a little of that, as well as the memory of some of my family members who we’ve lost to cancer.
There are plenty of reasons why I chose pancreatic cancer, among them my cousin Efren, who died fighting it. Unfortunately, it’s the most aggressive form of cancer. The survival rate is very low, and there’s not much awareness for it.
Anderson and Aspen aren’t perfect. I love flawed characters who don’t do what we expect from them.
Thank you for reading this. For accepting a little piece of my heart: my loved ones, the family I miss dearly. I wish I had at least one more celebration to share with them.
After you finish the book, and if you enjoyed it. Please, do me a big favor and leave a review. Let other readers know about it and spread the word. I love to hear from readers, so please don’t hesitate to email me
Thank you much. Love you all,
Claudia ♥
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CHARMED BY THE BARTENDER
Piper Rayne
Charmed by the Bartender
Piper Rayne
Who knew sleeping with the enemy could be this fun?
Was the one-night stand a good idea?
Well, no. Probably not in retrospect.
In my defense I had just moved back to my grandparents’ house, I’d lost my dream job, and a guy on Tinder had stood me up. It was like life had suddenly stamped ‘LOSER’ on my forehead.
So when the guy behind the bar started giving me THE look…you know, the one that promised I’d be screaming his name into the wee hours of the morning? When that guy also has the perfect amount of scruff on his chiseled chin, biceps bulging out of his t-shirt, and a cocky grin you knew he’d earned in the sack…when he gives you that look, you don’t bother to figure out what your six degrees of separation are. You jump on that horse and ride it!
Pun fully and completely intended. And accurate, by the way.
I fully admit to feeling sorry for myself and acting impulsively, but by the time I’d figured out WHO the bartender was, I was already falling for him.
ABOUT PIPER RAYNE
Piper Rayne, or Piper and Rayne, whichever you prefer because we’re not one author, we’re two. Yep, you get two USA Today Bestselling authors for the price of one. Our goal is to bring you romance stories that have “Heartwarming Humor With a Side of Sizzle” (okay…you caught us, that's our tagline).
A little about us… We both have Kindles full of one-clickable books. We're both married to husbands who drive us to drink. We're both chauffeurs to our kids. Most of all, we love hot heroes and quirky heroines that make us laugh, and we hope you do, too.
1
This is the start of an amazing new chapter in my life. At least that’s what I keep reminding myself. How else will I get through today without curling up into a ball in my bed and feeling like the world’s biggest loser?
I reach my friend Tahlia’s apartment door and knock. Seconds later the door is whipped open and there stands one of my oldest, prettiest, richest friends. But I love her despite her perfect life.
She smiles wide and her blue eyes sparkle. “I’m so happy you’re home,” Tahlia says as she envelops me in a hug before dragging me through the door. She still smells like the expensive perfume she’s worn since high school.
“Me, too.” For the most part, that’s true. Returning to San Francisco, the city I grew up in, is a welcome change. I never quite made the same connections in Sacramento that I had with the girls I’d known since junior high.
Returning to the house I was raised in, which also happens to house two seventy-somethings? Not so stellar. But beggars can’t be choosers, as they say, and I was one bad decision away from being penniless and selling my body on a street corner.
“Ah! Is that Whit?” Lennon screams from the living room. Before I can blink she’s bounding down the hallway toward me, her cropped near-black hair bouncing as she does, the tattoos covering her arms a blur as she flails her limbs around like she’s preparing for take-off.
“You look like an interpretive dancer on crack,” I say with a laugh as she barrels into me.
She squeezes me tight and then pulls away. “Really?” She turns the corners of her mouth down. “I’ve been trying so hard to lay off the crack. I’m pretty much just sticking to meth now.”
I roll my eyes at the most outgoing and insane of my two best friends.
Some things you need to know about Lennon are that she’s rarely serious, is always pushing you out of your comfort zone, and prides herself on being able to tie a cherry stem with her tongue in ten seconds flat. Enough said.
“Someone who didn’t know you might just believe you,” Tahlia says as she pulls her blonde hair back into a ponytail with an elastic she has around her wrist. She’s still wearing her suit so she must’ve just gotten home from work at her father’s company.
Must be nice. The work part, I mean, not the working for her father part, because that man could be Tony Soprano’s half-brother, minus the Mob. At least I think so.
“Like I’d care,” Lennon mumbles as she heads back the way she came.
“I’m going to change out of this outfit,” Tahlia says. “Head on in and pour yourself a glass of wine. I stopped and picked up some appetizers for us. They’re laid out on the table in the living room.”
“Awesome. I could use something to dull the edges of the fact that I moved back into my grandparents’ house this afternoon.”
She gives me a sympathetic head tilt and rubs my back before we start down the hall. “It’s only temporary, Whit. You’ll be on your feet again in no time.”
“Or on your knees. If you’re lucky,” Lennon calls out.
We’re both laughing as Tahlia turns right to head to her bedroom and I move the opposite direction in search of the alcohol.
Her condo isn’t huge, but it’s modern and sleek and I’m sure must cost her more than I made in a month, since it’s in downtown San Francisco. Glass walls showcase the city lights beneath us and, coupled with the open-concept design of the kitchen, living, and dining room areas, the space feels airy and light.
Lennon and I catch up for a few minutes while we wait for Tahlia to rejoin us. As usual, her antics equally make me laugh and cringe. We all went to college in the Bay area and kept in touch through college.
After college I left town to take a job at the local Sacramento newspaper, but there’s something comforting about knowing I’ll be seeing them on the regular now that I’ve returned to my hometown. We’re back to being the three amigos, as unlikely as our group is, given our differing personalities.
Tahlia enters the kitchen with a strange expression on her face. I’ve known her long enough to see that she’s trying to suppress a grin. There’s something she’s keeping from us. With anyone else I’d start prying, but she’s like an overstuffed vault filled with confetti. If we give her enough time she won’t be able to stand it and it will all come bursting out.
After she’s poured herself a glass of wine the three of us head into her living room, where Lennon makes herself comfortable on Tahlia’s brown leather chair while Tahl and I opt to sit on the cream suede couch.
A small tray of pristine-looking appetizers sits on the circular coffee table accompanied by small plates and napkins. I honestly don’t know why Tahlia wastes her talents at her father’s company. She’d be an amazing event planner. I know her mother drilled into her the importance of entertaining properly since birth, but she has a natural knack for making everyone around her comfortable and creating a memorable experience when you’re in her care.
“Any luck on the job front?” she asks before setting her wine glass down on the table with an exaggerated flourish.
“Nothing yet. I plan on applying for anything and everything I’m qualified for tomorrow, though.”
“If you’re really stuck I know a guy who might be looking for someone,” Lennon says as she shoves one of the appetizers into her mouth. “I can’t promise it would all be entirely legal, but—”