by Amelia Wilde
Heartbreak.
I’m an idiot for signing up for all of that for a second time.
I thought Cole was different… for a second I thought that maybe he could be… the one.
I’m such an idiot.
I cross my arms over my chest. “You can tell Cole to go away and not to bother coming back. I won’t be talking to him—not today, not ever.”
She frowns and stands from the bed. “If that’s what you really want.”
“It is.”
She leaves without another word and closes the door behind her.
Once I hear her making her way down the staircase I collapse onto my bed and fall apart.
We started as enemies, became lovers, and are back to being enemies again.
Funny, I always thought full-circle moments were supposed to be a good thing.
32
I settle into the chair in Mr. Jeffries’ office and instead of being insanely nervous like the first time I was here, I’m more curious than anything. I have no clue why I was called here today, but at this point if he were to offer me the job of cleaning gum off his shoes I’d take it if the pay was decent.
My last couple of weeks have been spent at rock bottom and I’m tired of the view. I’m willing to take any minuscule improvement in my situation.
I hear footsteps and turn to see him wander in with a smile on his face, not looking as if he’s in too much of a hurry even though I’ve been waiting in here for more than five minutes.
“Whitney! I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.”
“It’s no trouble.” Not like I have anywhere else to be, I think to myself.
I rise from my chair to shake his hand before he takes a seat at his desk. I sit back down and perch myself on the end of the chair, anxious to know what this impromptu meeting is about. Did they find out about that extra mint I took from the basket in reception the last time I was here?
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you to stop by today.” I nod and bite the inside of my cheek to keep from blurting out that I just want him to get on with it. “As you know when we originally filled the position you’d interviewed for we decided to go in a different direction.”
God, I hate that term. Just say it for what it is—you thought someone was better than me. Not like I’m not used to it.
“That decision proved to be a mistake. You’re here today because I’d like to offer you the position you originally interviewed for. If you’re still interested?”
My adrenaline spikes and my entire body hums. Did he just say what I think he did?
“Are you still interested?” he asks because I’m still sitting here like I lack the brain cells to form an intelligent response.
“Yes. Yes! Yes!” I sound like some chick in a rom-com movie accepting a proposal.
I spring up from my seat and before I can stop myself I’m around to the other side of his desk hugging him. “Yes! I’m so excited. I’m going to do the best job. I’m going to be the best damn investigative reporter you’ve ever seen!”
I pull away. His eyes are wide and he appears slightly panicked at my reaction.
I cower down, back stepping away from him. “I’m so sorry. That was completely unprofessional of me.”
He leans back in his seat and smooths his now crumpled tie down his chest. Oh, my God. I basically just dry-humped my new boss. My new gay boss. He probably didn’t even enjoy it.
“Here, let me.” I reach forward and smooth his tie for him for a few seconds before it dawns on me that this too is totally inappropriate. I raise my hands up and round the desk to my designated side.
“I’m just going to stop touching you now, okay?”
He chuckles and gestures to the chair on the other side of his desk so I reclaim my seat. “I like your enthusiasm, Whitney. I do. But let’s just keep our hands to ourselves, shall we?”
“‘Can’t keep my hands to myself,’” I sing in the same melody as Selena Gomez’s song. I pinch the bridge of my nose.
Oh, my God, Whitney, shut up before you ruin this.
“Of course,” I finally manage.
“All right then. I’m going to send you down to human resources. They already have a contract drafted up for you to review and sign so you can start right away. The original person who had the job had to leave suddenly.”
“May I ask why it didn’t work out with her? It might help me to do my own job better if I know what you don’t like.”
My boss straightens some papers on his desk before answering. “Well, if you don’t go on a bender every night and show up to work high as a kite, we should be good.”
I bite my bottom lip and nod. “I think I can handle that. Contrary to what you might think based on my reaction here today, I’m not actually on drugs.”
“Glad to hear it.”
I hear someone walk by the office and Mr. Jeffries’ gaze flickers to the door for a second. “Kelsey.”
The footsteps stop and back track. A second later the girl I met while I was interviewing pokes her head in the door.
“Kelsey, Whitney here is going to be starting with us immediately. Think you can do me a favor and show her to human resources? They’re expecting her.”
She looks over at me, and smiles. “Of course.”
I rise from my chair and lean across the desk to shake my new boss’ hand. “Thank you so much for this opportunity. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”
“I believe it. Welcome to WHFI.”
A genuine smile spreads across my face. It feels foreign because I haven’t smiled like this since … besides with Cole, I can’t remember when.
Kelsey waits until we’re out of earshot of Mr. Jeffries’ office before she does a little squeal and grips my arm. “I’m so excited that we’re going to be working together!”
“So am I!” I say in a low voice. “I’ve been tuning in and you’re doing a great job.”
She smiles and squeezes my arm. “Thank you. I think you’re really going to like it here. For the most part everyone is pretty cool.”
“I need this in my life more than you can possibly understand. So, what happened with the other girl?”
“Treena? She was on the hot mess express, believe me.”
I nod. “How was everyone when you came on board?”
She slows her steps a bit and I follow suit. “I think a few people might have had a problem with it. They weren’t outwardly rude, but they weren’t exactly welcoming either, if you know what I mean. Now that some time has passed and they see that I’m not as dumb as I look”—she does a quick gesture to her blonde locks and her large chest—“they’re much better. Most people don’t like change and I don’t think they were keen on having a young girl get the job, especially for the sportscaster position.”
“Okay. Good to know.” Nervous energy seeps in, replacing the earlier adrenaline that was coursing through my system.
We reach the other side of the building a couple of seconds later and Kelsey points to one of the offices. “That’s where you need to be. When you’re done come find me and maybe we can grab lunch together.”
“That’d be great,” I say, meaning it.
Maybe things are finally turning around for me.
I nix that thought as soon as it enters my head. That kind of thinking never seems to work out well for me.
33
Lennon tries to fix my hair for the third time since she showed up at my house to pick me up. “Will you stop? What gives?”
“I want you to look perfect.” She tugs my shirt down a bit so that I’m showing more cleavage.
“Why? We’re just going out for drinks. What’s the big deal?”
“No big deal. None,” she says as she turns the key and starts her old van, then pulls her seat belt across her chest and secures it.
I study her for a second and she’s fidgeting, which means… she’s lying. “Lennon, what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” she asks in her put-on innocen
t voice that I know better than to believe.
“Why do you seem like you’re hiding something?” I shift in my seat so I’m facing her.
She shrugs, but doesn’t say anything and then takes a right at the corner.
“Why are you going this way?” I ask. “I thought we were going to go to our usual place.”
We now frequent the pub where Lennon picked up the bartender. Apparently, she likes the atmosphere and since he’s not a clinger she’s okay hanging out there. If the mood strikes her she takes him home.
I may not be speaking to my bartender, but she’s still speaking to hers. Sadness tries to creep into my chest, but I push it back.
I can’t go there. The thought of Cole brings tears to my eyes almost every time and I’m determined to have fun tonight. And that means no thinking about what I lost.
“I’m taking a different route. There’s construction going on everywhere these days.”
“Uh-huh.” I lean back into my seat and cross my arms over my chest. She’s up to something. Of that I’m certain. I suppose I’ll have to keep my guard up and see what it is. If she’s not trying to set me up with anyone it should be fine.
As her unicorn van weaves its way through the city streets I gaze out the window, happy to sit in silence while the scenery passes me by. My mind wanders back to Cole, like it always does, and the heavy weight of disappointment and loss perches itself on my shoulders. The weight is now so much a part of me that it feels like something is missing in those rare moments it’s not present.
I become cognizant of our whereabouts when Lennon pulls the vehicle into the parking lot of Rock Hard Whiskey and I whip my head around in her direction. “What the hell are we doing here?”
She presses her lips together, but says nothing as she finds an empty spot and parks. I realize that the parking lot is packed. Who do all these cars belong to?
Panic flares up inside and I try to slow my breathing but it feels like there’s a heavy brick lying on my chest.
Lennon removes the keys and tosses them into her purse. I can’t believe I was so dense. Looking at what she’s wearing, I know it should’ve been more obvious to me that she had a plan in place. Gone is the graphic tee and jeans she’s normally wearing and in place of it is a pair of black cigarette pants and a fancier cream tank with black leather jacket over the top. Jeez, am I blind or what?
“So… before you lose your shit on me let me just say something. You need closure. Regardless of how things turn out between you and Cole you need to talk to him, let him explain himself and figure it out from there.”
Feeling defensive, I cross my arms over my chest. “What I need is to get away from here.”
“Whit, you didn’t get to say anything to Cole when he stood you up at that restaurant all those years ago, and look where that got you. You were wrong about the kind of person he was and you ended up falling in love with him. What are the chances there’s more than meets the eye here now?”
She waits patiently while I mull that over. Lennon isn’t saying anything that hasn’t already crossed my mind in the weeks since our big blowout. Still… I haven’t wanted to go there because being hurt once was enough, thank you very much. I’m not going to willingly set myself up again. Which is why every time Cole called or showed up at my grandparents’ house, I refused to see him. Nothing can change the fact that he knowingly lied to me.
“And if I talk to him we can leave?”
She reaches forward and squeezes my arm. “Yes! You hear him out and if afterwards you want to go get plastered at the bar, I’m game. I’ll even hold your hair back from your face while you’re puking.” She winks.
I draw in a deep breath. It’s gut check time.
I suppose I knew this would all come to a head at some point, but now that it’s here my flight response is kicking in hard. I chew on my bottom lip for a second and tell myself it’s all going to be okay. I’m a big girl and I’ve dealt with worse. I’ll get through this. I can do this.
I don’t speak as I open the door and step out of the van. Lennon walks beside me as we head toward the building, a silent pillar of support. A low beat of music comes from inside the building.
“What’s going on here tonight?” I ask.
“I’ll let Cole explain.”
It’s like a tiny fist reaches into my chest and squeezes my heart when I hear her statement. Not because I’m jealous, but because I’m supposed to be the one who knows what’s going on in Cole’s life. I should be the one he’s telling—not her.
“Wait.” My hand stills on the door handle. “What about Tahl? Does she know about this?” I can’t help but feel like a traitor by cracking the door open even a little and allowing Cole the opportunity to explain. What if he wedges his foot in and before I know it the door blows wide open?
“She knows we’re here and she wants you to be happy. If that means being with Cole she’s fine with it, so long as she doesn’t have to see Chase. Obviously.”
I nod and pull open the door, sucking in another deep breath to calm my nerves.
It’s clear there’s some type of event being held here tonight. The sound of music and the murmur of a crowd echo out of the door leading to the main part of the distillery. I lead us past the reception area, through the doorway, and straight into the middle of a party in full swing.
Not only is there a party here where there was once an empty warehouse, but the entire ambiance of the space has changed. Strings of clear lights have been hung way up on the ceiling in a criss-cross pattern, giving a warm glow over the space. People are seated at the round tables that dot the room and others stand on what I’m assuming must be the dance floor. A sound system has been set up discreetly along the perimeter of the space and the decor on the tables matches the feel of the many whiskey barrels stacked along the back wall—sort of a country chic.
I remember back to when we were checking out venues for Tahlia and Chase and how Cole had a million questions for the woman at the Bluxome Street Winery. It all makes sense now.
“Let’s grab a drink.” Lennon motions over to a bar that’s been set up on the far side of the room.
I follow her and we weave our way through the crowd, none of whom I recognize, though. I think I might have spotted Ashley and Brady over in the far corner. No sign of Cole yet. My pulse thrums in my ears as I stand in line at the bar waiting to order a drink, waiting to see Cole again for the first time in weeks, waiting to hear what he has to say. All of it this time around.
I feel him before I smell him.
I smell him before I hear him.
I hear him before I see him.
“Ladies, glad to see you here.” His deep timbre rings out from behind me like it’s in a vacuum. He’s all I hear. The constant murmur of the crowd around me and the baseline of the music evaporate into nothing. I brace myself as I turn in his direction.
One thing I’ve realized through all of this is that just because someone hurt you doesn’t mean that you get to stop loving them. On the contrary, it only hurts because you do still love them so much. Love isn’t a switch that you can turn on and off at will, which is why as Cole stands there feasting his gaze upon me in a fitted charcoal suit with white dress shirt open at the collar, my heart flips in my chest. Because the sight of him still draws a reaction from my body even though I swore I never wanted to see him again.
My breath hitches and my voice locks.
“Whit, you look devastating.” He leans in and places a kiss on my cheek. It’s quick, but it has its intended effect—both reminding me of and leaving me longing for the days when being close to him was a given. “Lennon, thank you for bringing her.”
“Well, you’re on your own now. My work here is done.” She turns and reaches for the drink the bartender just placed down in front of her. “I’m off to mingle like I’m single. Which I am.” She shrugs. “Whit, come find me when you want to go.”
“Okay,” I say, my eyes unwavering from Cole’s.
; Then she turns to address Cole, her expression as hard as steel. “If one of you Webber boys hurts my friends again I’ll strap you down and tattoo the fuck out of your testicles. Got it?” She raises a brow at Cole. His jaw twitches, but he nods. “Good boy.” She pats his chest and then disappears into the crowd.
His attention lands back on me and I shift my weight onto my heels. “She’s a good friend.”
“The best,” I agree.
“When I called her she made me jump through a bunch of hoops before she agreed to try to get you here tonight.”
“Good.” I cross my arms in front of me, causing my cleavage to push up out of the low-cut V shirt that Lennon forced me to wear tonight. Cole’s gaze dips to it for a second and my nipples pebble.
Jeez, didn’t my nips get the memo? We are not having sex with this man again.
“Can we go somewhere more quiet to talk?”
I know quiet must mean alone and alone is not good. Alone means there’s the possibility of the two of us being tempted to be physical and right now I feel like a starving woman at the world’s largest buffet and Cole is the mile-long tray of éclairs, cakes and ice cream.
“Let’s talk here. Say what you have to say so that I can leave.”
“Sweetheart…” He reaches forward and cups my cheek and that’s all it takes. One face-cupping and I’m putty in his hands.
“Fine. Let’s get this over with.” I lean away from his touch. This is already hard enough.
He clenches his jaw, but he doesn’t say anything, instead motioning for me to follow him. Which I do. He leads me to a door in the back corner of the room where he holds it open and lets me walk through. It opens to a tall set of stairs that must go up to the roof.
“Are you planning to throw me off the roof?” I deadpan as I take the first few steps up.
“Hardly. I’m taking my own life in your hands by leading you up there,” he says, following me. “I just figure this is the only place we can get away from the music and have some privacy.”
I reach the top of the long flight of stairs and push the door open. We are indeed on the flat roof of the building and not too far ahead of me is a fur blanket that has been laid out with a few more blankets tossed to the side of that one. Surrounding those are a handful of candles in glass mason jars. It’s a full moon so I’m able to make out quite a bit, even without the added light. The entire set-up screams romance and I turn to give Cole a questioning gaze.