by Amelia Wilde
I unfolded it in my lap and stared. "Is this one of the ones..."
"Aunt Margaret knitted?" he finished, sitting down and pulling a wholly sensible black cap out of his pocket. "You bet your ass it is. If you're going to be ridiculous sitting out here in the snow, you're going to wear a ridiculous hat."
Finn, meanwhile, had pulled his red and green chevron creation onto his head without complaint. The white pompom bobbed solemnly on the top of his head.
I burst out laughing.
Beau's grin widened. Finn struck a pose and I laughed harder. Beau's deep bass chuckle started up, the slow "huh huh huh" of his laugh that always made us laugh harder. It was contagious, the kind of shit we used to get in trouble for at the dinner table, laughing so hard you go soundless and shaking and your face starts to hurt.
Just before everything had gone foul, we'd had a moment like this. Down in London's Portobello Road Market, bored out of our mind's as Gabe's ex was shopping, some wide eyed tourist had recognized us and asked if we were the King Brothers.
"Nah mate, sorry," Finn had replied in the most ridiculous British accent I'd ever heard.
"Right," Gabe jumped in, his accent even more transparently fake than Finn's. "We do get that a lot don't we?"
"You really think we look like them?" I'd asked, not even bothering with the fake accent because I'm terrible at them.
The tourist had blinked and put her phone away, saving us from the selfie. "Oh my god you're right," she'd said, looking horrified. "You guys look nothing like them, I'm so sorry."
"I hear they're assholes anyway," Beau prompted which had her nodding and apologizing before she moved on.
And we'd laughed.
Just liked we were laughing now. "Where the fuck did you find these?" I managed to wheeze to Beau.
He nodded solemnly. "They're new, actually. She sent them. Early Christmas present."
"They're supposed to go under the tree, jackass."
"I thought it was something I got from Amazon. Didn't even read the address label until I'd opened it. Then I figured -" His grin was mischievous. "I mean, you looked cold."
"The fuck is this?" Gabe was rounding the corner. My chest tightened when I saw his sling, and the way he was moving so carelessly with it too.
"Oh good you're here. Have a hat." Beau chucked a green and white one at Gabe who let it land at his feet while he stared at it in mock horror. "Courtesy of Aunt Margaret."
"Put it on. You've got snowflakes in your hair," I instructed.
Gabe grinned and slapped it on his head one handed. The floppy tassel hanging to one side made him look like a scruffy, worse for wear elf. Beau's "huh huh huh," started up again which made me laugh again and suddenly all four of us were doubled over and everything was right again.
31
Ruby
I'd finished my lesson plans right after lunch and immediately regretted making Jonah leave.
"Was I an idiot?" I asked Ginger. My heart was doing funny things and I felt like a part of my body was missing. Like I'd severed a limb and left it somewhere before wandering away. "I'm an idiot."
Ginger was splayed out in a patch of sun on the living room floor and didn't really care about me one way or another. I reached out and nudged her with my foot. "Hey I'm talking to you. What should I do?"
In response, she rolled over, showing me her belly for a moment before flopping over to the other side and then getting startled by the tape recorder that still sat in the middle of the floor.
"It's just a tape recorder, silly," I'd admonished her. But I was feeling suddenly jumpy myself. Just the thought of my night with Jonah, the way he'd looked at me like I was something he'd never experienced before, had me tingly all over.
"He should have this," I told my kitten and then second I said it, I knew it was exactly the right thing to do. "I should go over there, bring it to him, don't you think?"
If my kitten thought I was being transparent in my desperate need to see Jonah again, she at least had the good grace to hide it by attacking her own tail.
Now I stood on the wide, slightly stooped front porch of the King house with the box and the tape recorder in my arms, wondering if I should knock. I never knocked when I came over to see Claire. I hadn't knocked since I was eight years old.
But this was different. This was... I shifted from one foot to the other, feeling for all the world like I was eight years old again when I was saved from my agony of indecision by the sound of voices floating up from behind the house.
I set the box and tape recorder down. Tugging my scarf a little higher up my neck, I stepped back down to the frozen yard. Finn's loud, mocking laugh rang out, sending a few perching crows scattering into the sky. That made me pause. Though he was Claire's favorite, I'd always been a little wary of Finnegan King. His smile was the furthest thing from reassuring. It could be happy to see you, but it also could be mocking you for thinking that.
Then I heard Jonah's voice. Smooth and loud, with that easy command he had. Hearing it now with the context of what had happened last night, made me feel warm enough to loosen my scarf again. I hefted the box again, mindful of not rattling the precious tapes around too much, and walked around the side of the house.
The Kings' house was up on a small rise, the second story windows above the tree-line giving them a nice view of the little jutting hills that in summer reminded me of tennis balls shoved under a tree carpet. But the yard sloped away from the house in what had been pretty intense sledding hill when we were kids. The grade leveled back out again just before it hit the banks of the creek. Going flying off 'the cliff' as the King kids called it was always an added worry and thrill, and one of the reasons everyone came over here on snow days.
The King brothers - all four of them that I could see- were down by that cliff now. They had pulled up stumps and logs and old forgotten lawn furniture to sit around the fire pit down there, and each one of them was wearing a ridiculous hat.
Jonah was the first to look up and spot me and the expressions that crossed his face made me walk a little quicker. He hopped to his feet, making. "Baby!"
I stopped and looked at his brothers. "Did you...?"
He startled a little. "Oh right, Finn, I was about to ask you." He turned and slung his arm around me, pulling me close as his brothers all watched with varying expressions of surprise on their face. Or was it horror? I ducked away. "What do you think Claire would say if I started seeing Ruby?"
Finn closed his eyes and then opened them to look right at me. "Well I guess it's not really her decision, now is it?" and in his words I heard an echo of what I'd said to Jonah when he'd tried to order for me in the cafe. You make these decisions that affect other people that aren't yours to make.
My heart thudded in my ears. I should have called her first before I came over here. I should have let her know that when she'd sent her brother to help me in her stead, she'd sent me right into his arms. I'd been so wrapped up in how a dead man would feel about my actions that I hadn't even thought about what my alive and breathing best friend would think. "Shit," I murmured, trying to duck out of Jonah's embrace. He looked down at me and frowned. Then his eyes alighted on the box and his expression changed to one f pure adoration. "Is that for me?" he asked.
I nodded, fairly shoving it at his chest. Shame was coursing through my body. "For you," I said, stepping back. "I just wanted to stop by and make sure you had it.
Jonah grinned his confident grin and kissed me full on the lips in front of his watching brothers. "You're amazing," he said and I could feel the shape of his words against my mouth and my body wanted to respond, but inside of my head I was spiraling into shame.
I pressed my hands to his chest and gently pushed him away. "I just stopped by real quick, I have to run," I said.
He nodded, his attention on the box. "I'll see you later, Ruby."
"Yeah, bye Roo!" Finn called as I hurried away, and he wielded Claire's nickname for me as sharp and pointed as a weapon.
>
32
Jonah
She's incredible, I thought as Ruby hurried back up to her car. She'd taken time out from her lesson plans to bring this over.
I'd have to think of a way to thank her later. I could actually think of a few ways to thank her, none of which involved clothes.
"What's in the box?" Gabe asked.
I looked at my brother. I'd honestly forgotten he was there for a moment. "Nothing," I said.
"Ruby came all the way over here to bring you nothing," Finn deadpanned. "Sure, and I'm guessing that same nothing is why you're looking at her like she shits rainbows right now."
I clutched the box a little tighter. "I'm sure Ruby does shit rainbows," I said, trying to deflect attention away from my tapes. "Actually strike that. Ruby doesn't shit at all, she's too perfect for that."
"Oh Christ, spare me," Finn groaned, draining his beer.
But Gabe was still watching me with narrowed eyes. "What's in the box, Jonah?" he repeated a little more forcefully.
I hefted it higher in my arms. No, this was mine. Gid had given it to Ruby and Ruby had given it to me and I'd be damned if I had to share Gid with anyone else. It was mine now, and it should have always been mine. "It's your mama's underwear," I snapped. "That's why the box is so big."
"A 'your mama' joke," Beau intoned, raising his beer can in a toast. "Classic yet always in style, especially when used among brothers."
"We have the same mother you dipshit," Gabe sighed. "Fine. Enjoy your secret box. I hope it's full of different sized pliers you could use to remove the rod up your ass."
It was difficult to flick him off while juggling a huge cardboard box, a beer and a giant 80s tape recorder, but I managed to do it all the same as I hurried back up to the house. Shutting the door of my bedroom was a relief and I wished like hell I'd thought to install a lock.
Then I looked at the treasures my girl had brought over. She'd even thought to bring the tape recorder. It seemed awfully silly that of the four musical King Brothers, not a single one of us had a 4-track recorder lying around, but none of us did.
I heard scratching at my door. "Hey boy," I said, opening it up a crack and scratching Duke's gigantic head as he nosed his way into the room with me. He flopped down with a heavy sigh and let his head rest on my thigh. "I agree," I told him.
The house was quiet. I took another sip of the beer, feeling the buzz as it hit my empty stomach and hesitated.
The one song, the one that had brought Ruby and I together, that might have been a fluke. This whole box was a fluke, something Gideon hadn't wanted to share with me. But maybe Ruby was right, maybe he just hadn't had a chance. It was strange to think that my uncle might think what he had made wasn't good enough to share with me until it was perfect.
Just how much of an asshole was I?
I leaned back on my elbows and took a long sip of my beer, hoping to drown that line of questioning.
Then I slipped in another tape and pressed play.
Duke's ears twitched as Gideon's voice filled the room. He lifted his head and cocked it to the side. "That's right, boy," I told him. "That's Gid playing the guitar right now. Could you hear him all the way down in the shed?"
Duke stared at the player intently. Gideon was playing a slow song, something between a dirge and a ballad. It was clear he hadn't come up with all of the words yet, but as he sang, I found myself filling in the spaces that were missing. The lines came clear and perfect in my brain, like a collaboration.
I sat bolt upright, making Duke snuffle irritatedly. "Sorry," I told my dog, hurriedly switching off the player and grabbing for a piece of scratch paper. Quickly, before they left my brain, I scrawled out the missing words, adding a line for the bridge that was missing, and a note about a longer intro, something to build.
Then I sat back on my heels and stared at what I had done.
A collaboration. Me and Gid finally working together like we should have a long time ago. The idea that had been forming since last night was suddenly crystal clear in my brain.
I would need to workshop these, see how they played to an audience. But that shouldn't be hard to do. I was the biggest star this town had ever produced, all I'd need to do was ask. Hell, the entire town would probably show up to hear it. The press would be insane. I could see it now. "From King Brother to King Nephew, Jonah King's life after death collaboration with his beloved uncle."
"Yes," I exhaled aloud. It would take hard work, but that was what I was best at. And the end would result would put me right back up on top where I belonged.
33
Ruby
Faking sick to get out of work is not my style, but it was necessary. And faking a stomach bug was super easy because half the school was out with it anyway. When I called in, the school secretary hurried me off the phone as quickly as she could, acting like I was going to somehow vomit on her through the phone.
I hung up and grabbed my purse, ready to head over to Claire's work and find out why she wasn't returning my texts.
Claire worked over in Reckless Falls at the PR department for Granger Development. She was only a junior associate, a peon really, but she took her job very seriously, always arriving far earlier than any of her more seasoned co-workers. I was hoping by heading out now I could catch her alone.
As I drove along the snowy country roads, I tapped my steering wheel nervously, wavering between worry over my friend's reaction when I told her the news, and pre-emptive indignation over the idea that her reaction might be a bad one. I had at least twelve different arguments with myself on the way to the resort town at the bottom of Ganagua Lake, running through every feasible scenario she might bring up and making very valid, cogent points that I hoped I'd remember once I got there.
When I did get there, I was relieved to see that Claire's shiny white Jeep was the only vehicle in the parking lot. I huddled down into my coat and rushed to the front door and pressed the buzzer.
Claire swooped over with a big smile on her face which froze into a grimace when she saw it was me. "Ruby? What the heck are you doing here?"
"Freezing my butt off," I replied. "Can I come in?"
"I'm working," she hedged.
"I know. But I drove all the way over here just to make sure you hadn't fallen down a well or something." When she looked at me, confused,I elaborated. "You haven't returned my texts. I even called and you know how I hate the phone."
She pressed her lips together and smoothed her hands down her skirt before she sat down at her desk. "Okay, so I know I didn't write back," she said. I sat down without her inviting me to because fuck it, this was Claire and she's been my best friend since fourth grade. "I honestly didn't know what to say."
"You didn't know what to say to, 'hey, when you get a chance, let's get together for a chat?"
"Well I knew what I wanted to say," she said fiercely. "But I didn't want to write anything mean that I'd regret, so I decided to not write anything at all."
There was a sensation of someone pouring cold water in my chest. "Who told you?"
"Finn told me," she said, ducking away so she wouldn't have to look me in the eye. "Like literally the second he found out."
I felt like the chair was sinking underneath me, and also a renewed wariness of Finn King. "I'm sorry," I told her. "I should have come to you right away."
She looked at me, eyes bright, "You know, he's my brother."
"I realize that - ," I started to say but she held up her hand to stop me.
"And I don't get a say in who he dates," she said. "But as your best friend, I always thought that I'd get it say in who you dated." Her eyelids fluttered a second. "Or maybe just that you'd want my opinion."
"Well, what is your opinion then?" I asked her. I clenched and unclenched my fist.
She sneered. "Jonah? You really want to be with Jonah?"
"You know?" I said. "I think you've all decided that Jonah is somebody that he isn't."
"I think I know perfectly well who m
y brother is."
"Well, did you know that he didn't actually stay with that manager like you all thought he did?"
She blinked. "How do you know about all that?"
"Because he told me!" I burst out. "Because I asked him instead of just that assuming he'd been an asshole."
Claire was so transparently obvious in all of her emotions that I could plainly see them all as they crossed her face. First she was confused, then disbelieving. Then she was wondering why no one had told her the truth yet, her sense of righteous indignation as the keeper of family gossip kicking into high gear.
Ultimately, she decided she didn't care and tossed her hair. "Whatever. That's between him and Gabe."
"And he and Gabe figured it out," I told her cooly. "They worked out their differences, and he explained what had happened, how he had got caught up in a breach of contract lawsuit but didn't want to trouble his brother with it because he'd had just gone through a terrible trauma already. So he took it all on himself. Don't you see that's what he does? Don't you see that's how he works? You Kings, you always told me what an asshole he was, but I wonder how much of that is him and how much of that is just you."
"Jesus, Ruby," Claire hissed. "Let it all out, why don't you?"
"You all formed your opinion on him way back when, and you've never let him grown beyond that," I said, blinking back furious tears that suddenly filled my eyes. "He's a good man. A really good man and his heart is in the right place, and I'm not going to let your opinion of him cloud my own judgment any more."
"Well fuck," she sighed and looked away for a long, long moment.
I looked down at my hands, resisting the urge to flounce off. So many fights Claire and I had had over the years lasted a lot longer than they should have because one of us was always flouncing off in a huff. So even though I had to grip the handles of the chair I was sitting in to keep myself there, I did. Waiting for her to make her peace.