by Cole Lepley
Regardless of how I feel right now, I wanted him to kiss me. He’s not afraid to push the limits with me, and I like it. I need it. The effect Hunter has on me is staggering which only makes me want to fight harder.
I spot Dylan at our usual table in the back of the crowded room. I’m only ten minutes late, but it feels like everyone is watching me while I walk over to sit beside him. He smiles at me, and I release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. At least my face doesn’t give away what my heart is feeling right now.
“Hey, where were you?” he asks.
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and force a smile back. “Ollie needed to talk to me about something.” Seems plausible.
He nods. “You hungry? I can get you something.” He motions with his head back to the near empty line.
My stomach clenches, and I let out an involuntary laugh. “No, not at all.”
Because of who we are, whether we want to be or not—we’re together. I didn’t choose to start something with Dylan, he chose me. That’s just the way it works around here. People expect this to be my most logical step after ending things with Judah. It’s not what I want though. I want to be with the one who takes every bit of my air every time he kisses me. I want him to make my lungs burn until he does it again. The one who makes me feel beautiful and it has nothing do with how I look on the outside. He knows the real me and for the first time—I feel like that’s okay.
I’ve been hiding in my bedroom since I got home from practice. Risking a run-in with Hunter is not something I can handle right now. He upped the stakes today, and I’m not sure what my next move is yet—or if I should even have one. He’s not like Judah. The things we’ve done to each other wouldn’t fly with a guy like Hunter. Maybe I should just swallow my pride this time and surrender? Tell him how I really feel instead of prolonging this torture.
After another thirty minutes of deep contemplation, I stand up from my bed and walk out to the balcony that overlooks the pool. I have a direct view to the guest house and can clearly see the light visible in the living room.
“Fuck it,” I say out loud as I turn to go back inside. I take determined steps down the stairs with the full intention of ending this charade.
Just as I’m walking out of the side door, a car pulls up the driveway. I don’t recognize it, so I stand with my arms folded across my chest and wait. My breath hitches in my throat when Regan exits the car.
She slings her bag over her shoulder and walks toward me with a bright smile plastered on her face. “Oh hey, Elliot. I was looking for Hunter. He said he’s staying here.”
“Yes, he is.”
The words sound foreign coming from my mouth. I’m so caught off guard to see her standing here after he kissed me like that today. I know he was angry when I couldn’t answer his question, but I never thought he would give up altogether.
She nods behind me. “Is he in there or—"
I swallow the lump in my throat and point across the patio. “He’s in the guest house.”
She offers another smile before walking past me. I take a step back closer to the garage door and watch as he opens his door. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I don’t have to. He pulls her into a hug, and she wraps her arms around his neck.
That sick feeling returns to the pit of my stomach, but I don’t look away. I continue to watch as he motions her inside, and I swear I see him smile.
He may have won this round, but he just declared war.
10
Blame It On Me
I know exactly what it looked like to have Regan come over last night. Technically it wasn’t even my idea. She called and asked if she could drop off a few of my things that I left there. We talked for a while, but that was about it. Nothing happened—although I’d bet anything Elliot thinks it did. Serves her right.
I sat up waiting for Elliot to turn the light off in her bedroom, but she never did. She either didn’t sleep or she wasn’t really in there. I can’t be sure so I’m currently waiting to ambush her run this morning.
If I’m being honest, I might have gone too far yesterday. I guess it has a lot to do with Ollie’s influence on her. She doesn’t act like most girls, but I’m starting to think her tough exterior has its cracks. No matter what she does to try and hurt me I still want her. There’s something between us that I can’t really explain. It’s real and honest and we don’t need to play games in order to prove we should be together. I know we should—I just don’t know how.
I’m beginning to wonder if she’s even going to run today when I spot her slip out of the side door. Her long ponytail is hanging out of a baseball cap and she is actually fully dressed in a hoodie and track pants. It’s still sexy even if she isn’t trying to be.
She rolls her eyes when I jog over to meet her.
“Oliver coming with you today?”
“No.”
“Can I come with you?”
She laughs once as she bends to stretch her leg. “Don’t you have company to entertain?”
I shake my head. “She wasn’t here for me—it’s not like you think.” I shove my hands in my pockets, suddenly feeling nervous. The anger coming off of her is radiating in waves so intense I’m half afraid she’ll burn me.
Elliot continues to ignore me and stands up straight to put her earbuds in. “Like I said, I don’t think about you at all. So, why would I care?”
She turns to walk away from me, and I pull the strings from her ears. “That’s not true and you know it.”
For a moment I think she’s going to respond but then she takes off running down the driveway. I follow her of course.
We make it almost an entire mile and she still hasn’t attempted to put her earbuds back in or say anything to me at all.
“Can we talk about this?” I ask as I keep stride with her.
She glances over at me quickly and then back to the road.
I sigh. “Okay, fine. I’ll talk.” I take a breath. "I’m sorry.”
She lets out a huff but doesn’t slow her pace, so I continue. “This isn’t fun for me, Elliot. We don’t need to keep hurting each other.”
It feels like she’s running faster because my chest keeps getting tighter. “Say something,” I demand forcefully.
“What you did last night—was bullshit,” she spits out finally.
“What I did? What about what you’ve been doing with Dylan?”
She rolls her eyes again, and I want to scream. “Nothing even happened between me and Regan. I had to watch you make out with that guy for over an hour in the fucking hot tub.”
She laughs once. “I didn’t make you watch. You chose to do that all on your own.”
“It was right outside my window, Elliot. Like I had a fucking choice.”
“It’s my house.” She makes a quick turn up another hill and then continues. “I can do whatever I want.”
She’s such a brat. “So it’s okay for you to hurt me, but when I do it right back then I’m the bad guy?”
I get no response this time, and I’m starting to get a cramp in my side. “Can you please just stop for a minute so we can talk about this? I can’t keep running at this pace and have a conversation with you.”
Elliot smirks. “Maybe you should work on your stamina.”
I have a pretty good comeback ready when she begins to pull ahead of me. Breathing hard, I come to a stop and plant my hands on my hips and watch her disappear around the corner. I’m almost positive if I don’t quit chasing her, she may never stop running.
We’re almost through the entire class period and Elliot hasn’t looked at me once. I know this because I’ve been looking at her almost the whole time. If I was going to be a dick, I could have called on her and made her talk to me, but I decide to leave her alone for a minute.
When the bell rings, I watch her shuffle her things together to make a quick escape. I’m not sure what comes over me, but I move to stand in front of her. “Elliot, could I see you for a moment?” I u
se my teacher voice, and I can tell she wants to roll her eyes.
“Alright,” she says.
I wait until the few remaining students exit the room before I try to talk to her. She beats me to it. “Hunter, I don’t have time for this right now. I have a test to get to.”
She attempts to step around me, and I place my hand gently on her elbow. “Just give me a minute, okay?”
I see the tension in her stance as she nervously readjusts her bag over her shoulder and nods.
“Did I upset you yesterday?”
She raises an eyebrow. “Which part of yesterday are you referring to? The part where you manipulated me into thinking you actually wanted me or the part where you shoved your ex-girlfriend in my face?”
I swallow back the anger I feel from her insistence on never taking responsibility for her own actions. I lower my voice even further. “I’m talking about what happened in my classroom.”
A bitter smile crosses her face. “That was the only part of yesterday I actually liked.”
She tries to step around me, and I block her path. “I meant what I said this morning. We don’t have to keep doing this.”
She laughs. “If you really wanted this to end, you wouldn’t have acted like a complete asshole yesterday.”
I run my hand roughly through my hair. “What do you want me to do, Elliot? I’m trying to throw the flag here.”
Her eyes cast downward for a moment before she answers. “It’s too late for that.” She pushes past me before I have a chance to stop her just as my next class begins to trickle in.
If I’m going to get her to stop, it looks like I’ll have to take it up another notch.
I sit on the bleachers after school and watch Oliver yell at his team like an asshole. He loves attention even more than Elliot does, especially when he gets to act like a dick.
“That was pathetic,” he calls through his hands. “Run it again!”
A series of grunts echoes over from several girls running laps on the track, and I fight a smile. Oliver walks over to me throwing his hands up. “Geez, these girls think they can just phone it in today or what?” He looks at the time on his stopwatch again and groans.
He takes a seat next to me and I laugh. “Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on them?”
He scoffs. “No, they love it. Girls respond best to aggression.” He winks at me, and I laugh.
“If you say so.”
It doesn’t go unnoticed that Elliot isn’t on the field. I’m about to ask him where she is when she comes jogging around the corner still pulling her hair into a ponytail.
Oliver stands. “Whoa, whoa!” he calls to her. “Do you just make your own rules now? Practice started twenty minutes ago.”
Elliot shoots him a look as she begins to stretch. “I had a committee meeting. It was mandatory.”
“I don’t give a shit, Elle. You’ve been late all week. Now go run hurdles.” He points to the track, and she narrows her eyes at him.
“You’re joking?” she says with a huff.
“Nope. You want to be late, I’m going to treat you like everyone else.” He blows his whistle at her, and I almost laugh again. “Get moving!”
She flips him off before reluctantly heading toward the track. I catch her glare in my direction for a moment, obviously not thrilled that I’m here.
Oliver shakes his head as he sits down again. “I don’t know what’s with her lately. She’s always been difficult, but never like this.”
I have a few guesses.
“I don’t know, man.”
My eyes drift back to the field where she takes her mark. Elliot takes off and makes it look fairly effortless until she trips on one of the hurdles. It goes three more before she stumbles again.
“What was that?” Oliver calls to her as he stalks back down the bleachers. “Get your head out of your ass.”
She plants her hands on her hips as she breathes in and out harshly. “I’m sorry,” she pants.
“Don’t give me sorry, do it right. Run it again and if you trip over one more hurdle, I’ll make you run sprints until you puke.”
Now this kind of treatment would typically make most girls cry, but not Elliot. She gets a determined look on her face before heading back to the start. This time she doesn’t miss a beat and breezes down the track.
Oliver claps his hands together. “That’s what I’m talking about.” He walks over and puts his hand on her shoulder. “See, now was that so hard?”
She shrugs him off. “Why are you being such a prick today?”
He lowers his voice, pulling her off to the side of the track. “Elle, what the fuck? You never fall.”
I watch her eyes squeeze shut for a moment, and I can tell she’s trying not to cry now. Oliver’s face falls immediately. “Jesus, Elle. What’s going on?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing.”
“You’re such a shitty liar. Now, tell me.” He shifts right out of his dickhead coach persona into protective brother mode. “Is someone messing with you? You know I’ll fucking kill them if they are.”
Her eyes drift to me for a moment, and I swallow hard. The last thing I want is for Oliver to find out about this and murder me for it.
It goes another couple of beats before she finally answers. “No.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh and pulls her into his side, hugging her against him. “Just go home today, alright? Relax or something and we can pick this up tomorrow.”
Surprisingly she doesn’t argue and walks slowly back to the locker room. The fact that her behavior has caught the attention of Oliver now has me worried. Even though I pushed her into this, I can’t stand to sit back and watch her fall.
11
Breaking Ranks
I watch with disinterest as Cameron smears an excessive amount of make-up on her face. She really does try too hard. She eyes me through the mirror while I lounge casually on my bed, periodically scrolling through Instagram. I really should tell her, but I don’t. We’ve always had a strangely competitive friendship.
“What’s your problem today? You’re about to have a party in like half an hour.”
I shrug. “Nothing.”
“Are you and Dylan not getting along?” She pouts her lips together after applying a questionable shade of lip gloss. I really should be a better friend and point these things out to her.
With a sigh I stand and walk over to my closet. “He’s fine. I’m just not really that into him.”
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “What more do you need, Elle? Practically everyone wants to date him and of course, he picked you.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Was that sarcasm I detect?”
She rolls her eyes before going back to caking on another layer of mascara. “Seriously, you’re never grateful for anything. You acted the same way with Judah.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Judah acted like a dick most of the time.”
“Then why did you date him for years?”
I toss another dress to the floor after contemplating changing for the third time. “I don’t know. It was easy I guess.” I pause and chew on the tip of my fingernail for a moment. “We got along just fine and it never really went that deep.”
Cameron laughs. “That deep, huh? I would say your sexual chemistry was pretty strong.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, that’s about all it was.”
“So?”
“Don’t you want more than that? A real connection with someone that actually means something.”
She shrugs. “As long as he’s hot I don’t really care.”
And I thought I was shallow.
An hour later, my backyard is filled to capacity. It’s getting into late September, but the air is still warm enough for a few drunken idiots to swim around in my pool. I side step past a couple practically having sex on one of my lounge chairs and walk toward Dylan. He grins over at me, and I suddenly feel guilty. He’s an innocent casualty in all this. I really should set h
im free before this goes too far.
He throws his arm around my shoulder and kisses the side of my head. “Hey, I was wondering where you got to.”
I plaster a smile on my face because this is a party and I’m supposed to be having fun, right?
“I had to make my rounds. Say hi to everyone and make sure nobody drowned yet. You know, the usual.”
“I hear that.” He tilts his beer back while my eyes continue to scan around the party. Oliver is no doubt lurking around somewhere, although he’s yet to be seen. He said that he and Hunter were going to the bar downtown, but he has a habit of popping up when you least expect him. It bothers him to no end that he can’t go to parties anymore now that he’s a teacher—and I love throwing it in his face. Both of them seriously need to grow up.
I’m starting to catch a nice buzz when a commotion over by the garages gets my attention. I walk away from Dylan to the crowd that has formed. As I get closer my heart drops when I see Judah’s smiling face in the middle of it. This is the last thing I want to deal with right now.
He spots me almost immediately and pushes quickly through the group of guys surrounding him to get to me. “Babe!” He pulls me up into his arms and squeezes the air from my lungs. “God, I missed you.”
I laugh nervously as I pull myself from his grasp. “Judah, what are you doing here?” I cross my arms to put some distance between us.
His eyebrows pull in. “I heard you were having a party.”
“So, you just decided to drive seven hours to come to a party?”
He reaches out and touches my arm. “No, I wanted to see you.”
“I thought the point of you leaving was that we wouldn’t see each other.”
Hurt flashes in his eyes, and I feel a pang of sympathy for him. Even though I don’t completely believe his intentions are pure, this is the most he’s tried in the entire time since we were together.