by Cole Lepley
“Alright, what’s your favorite color?” She smiles, and I let out a nervous laugh. I love this girl.
“Green, what’s yours?”
“I’m a girl. It’s pink.”
I hold up a finger. “Not all girls like pink, Elle. Just saying.”
“Okay.” She pauses before her next question, chewing on her bottom lip again. “Why don’t you want to talk to your dad?”
My jaw twitches, but I push it down. If she needs to know something about me then that’s what I have to do. “My father and I are very similar—and it scares the shit out of me.”
Her eyes hold mine, almost pleading with me to continue. “He has a very short temper and likes to control everything. We used to fight constantly, and it was difficult for my mother. It then caused them to fight and uh—things got ugly. More than once.”
She places her other hand on top of mine. “Is that why you came here? To get away from him?”
As much as I want to tell her, I’m not sure I can handle the look on her face when I do. For now, I take the easy way out. “Pretty much.”
“Is that why you think Judah will hurt me?”
All I can do is nod as I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat.
She hesitates again, and I can tell she doesn’t want to ask her next question. “Do you trust me?”
“I want to say yes, but I won’t lie. It’s my initial reaction not to. That’s something I can’t control. For the longest time I refused to let anyone get close to me.” I take a breath and pull her closer. “But with you, I can’t seem to get close enough. I can’t really explain it. It’s just something I feel.”
She leans forward and kisses me once. “I feel that too. I’m afraid I’m going to screw this up somehow, and I don’t want to do that—not to you.”
I smooth back the hair that falls in her face. “If you and I are going to work we need to trust each other. I don’t want to play games with you, and I don’t want to have any secrets.” The lie slips so easily off my tongue even I’m surprised.
“No more secrets?” She repeats the question for conformation.
I fight to keep the emotions from my face. “No.”
She shifts herself onto my lap, and I immediately twist my fingers through her hair, drawing her into me. Her kiss is urgent again, and I match her intensity. It always seems that way no matter how good things are going between us. Almost like we’re on the verge of disaster.
I stand up from the couch with her still in my arms, and she wraps her legs around my waist. Her lips never leave mine until we fall onto the bed. I don’t want to be forceful with her tonight. I want to take this slow.
Although I can tell she likes aggressive sex, I don’t want to control her right now. I just want to love her. When everything feels so uncertain, I want to be the one who makes her feel safe.
22
Breach
My eyes scan the bleachers while I jog in place. Hunter is seated right behind where Oliver is standing, and he smiles at me. Without thinking, I wave, and Oliver points his whistle at me with his stern coach expression. I roll my eyes and start to stretch.
It’s already mid-season, and we’re still in first place. For as competitive as Oliver and I are, we would like to keep it that way. I’m about to take my place on the line when I spot our typical crowd plus one person who shouldn’t be here. Judah has a ball cap pulled low on his head with a hood over top of it. He must really think I’m an idiot not to recognize him.
Oliver jogs over to me. “Okay, Elle. You got this.”
I nod toward the bleachers. “Judah’s here.”
He turns to look behind him and then back to me. A scowl forms of his face as he places his hands on my shoulders. “Don’t let him distract you, okay? I’ll be right here the entire time. I will walk you out when we leave. He won’t get near you if you don’t want him to.”
I shake my head. “I’m not afraid of him. I just don’t know what to say anymore.”
“You said what you needed to say, right? It’s up to him to accept it now.”
“He’s so broken because of me. I feel terrible.”
Oliver scoffs. “He’ll be fine. He’s just having a hard time with all of the changes this year. I’ll talk to him again tonight. Make sure he’s okay.”
I nod as I release a shaky breath. “Okay.”
He gives me a smirk and pats my shoulder. “Hunter’s here, too. We got this.”
Even though I smile back, guilt swirls in my stomach. I would never forgive myself if Oliver lost his relationship with Hunter over this.
He releases me, and I go to the starting line. I exchange one last glance with Hunter before I take my mark. There’s something about that moment before the starting gun goes off. Everything seems to fade out around me, and my vision becomes singular. The only thing I can see is the finish line, and the only thing I can think about is how fast I need to cross it.
The shot rings loudly, and I take off down the track. I never hesitate; it’s such a natural reaction for me to surge forward when something is chasing me. My lungs are barely warmed up as I easily take first place several seconds before everyone else.
Ollie cheers louder than all the others. He also shouts some language that would typically get someone in his position fired, but for some reason no one ever questions him. I guess it wouldn’t seem right if he didn’t.
He raises his hand to me as I jog back to his side. “Elle, you fucking smoked them! Good job.”
I laugh and return his over enthusiastic high five. He turns to verbally assault the rest of the team as I grab my water bottle.
Hunter winks at me from the bleachers, and I can’t hide my smile. It’s cut short as I watch Judah stroll down the stairs toward me. He’s flanked by most of the current football team, which surprisingly includes Dylan.
Judah doesn’t take his eyes off of me as he casually swaggers to the parking lot. It’s like he’s almost taunting me now. They are still his friends, but there’s no reason for him to be home so much. That worries me. As disturbing as he’s acting lately, I don’t want anything to affect his performance at college.
My eyes drift over to Hunter who is visibly on edge. I think back to the conversation I had with Ollie the day I decided to go after him in the first place. The warning he gave me is still so prominent in my mind even though I have no idea what it means. I need to know what Ollie’s not telling me if I have any chance at protecting him.
My palms are sweaty as I close my hand to knock on his door. I wouldn’t just enter Oliver’s room unannounced. You never know what you’ll find.
He answers with a stupid grin. “What’s up?” His smile fades. “Elle, why are you crying?”
I shake my head and another sob rips through my chest. He opens his door wider and pulls me inside. He guides me to the chair next to his bed. “Sit down. Talk to me.”
The tears keep falling even though I try so hard to compose myself. “I’m sorry,” I choke out.
He kneels in front of me, his face scrunching up in confusion. “Elle, what are you sorry for?”
I pull at the torn fabric on my jeans, unable to meet his eyes. “You have to tell me—I need to know.”
My sentences are coming out short and clipped, but I can’t help it. I start to cry harder.
“Elliot, you are seriously scaring the shit out of me.” He shakes my knee back and forth. “Just tell me. I won’t be mad whatever it is.”
I shake my head again. “You—you don’t mean that.”
He clenches his teeth. “Yes, I do. I can’t promise I won’t hurt the person who did this to you, but I won’t be angry with you.”
My eyes lock on his. “You can’t hurt him either.”
I watch Oliver’s throat bob as he swallows. “Hurt who?” The ominous tone of his voice almost makes me flinch.
I close my eyes. “Hunter.”
I can practically hear all of the air escape from his lungs as he stands in one quick motion. “Y
ou’ve got to be fucking kidding me?”
“Ollie, you promised—"
He slams his fist into his chest. “I didn’t think you were going to tell me that!” He runs his hand through his hair. “Jesus, Elliot. What were you thinking?”
His words make my tears fall faster, and he sighs loudly and then walks back over to me. “Elle, I’m sorry.”
“No, I deserve this.”
He shakes his head in determination. “No, you don’t. I overreacted. A lot of thoughts are going through my head right now. I can’t process them all.”
I sniffle loudly and wipe my face on my sleeve. He sighs again and stands to get me a box of tissues. “Here, now calm down and explain this to me.”
Oliver sits on the edge of the bed facing me while I try once again to collect myself. He folds his hands in his lap, plastering a falsely serious expression on his face. “Okay, what exactly is the nature of your relationship?”
I give him an irritated look. “Seriously, do you even have to ask—"
He stands abruptly from the bed again, cutting me off. “Nope. I’m gonna kill him.”
My reflexes kick in, and I leap from my chair to grab his arm. He’s much stronger than I am so he drags me with him a couple steps. “Ollie, you can’t!”
He looks down at me with a murderous expression. “Elliot, let me go. He should have known—"
“Oliver, I love him!”
Instantly, Oliver stops pulling away from me and his eyes widen. “What did you say?”
I take in a deep breath, releasing my grip from his arm. “I said, I love him. I love him so much that it physically hurts.” I rub the throbbing spot on my chest, and it starts to beat faster. “And I can’t go one more day not knowing. You have to tell me what he’s hiding from me. I can’t be the one who breaks him—I just can’t.” I lower my face into my hands when the sobs start all over again.
Oliver’s arms come around me, pulling me into his chest. “Elliot, I’m the only one who knows,” he says softly.
My hands grip his T-shirt as I look up at him. “That’s why I’m asking. Please, Ollie.”
His expression is conflicted. He stares down at me for the longest time, contemplating what to say. He takes another deep breath. “What do you want to know?”
I take a step back to prepare myself. “What happened to him? Something happened that he won’t talk to me about. I know it has to be really bad, but I need to know.”
Oliver starts pacing. If there is one quality that I know for sure my brother possesses, it’s loyalty. Selfishly, I also know that if it comes down to a choice between us, Ollie would choose me.
He pauses for a moment and runs his hand down his face. “Did you ask him about it already?”
I nod.
“And he didn’t want to tell you?”
I shake my head.
He lets out a frustrated grunt, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He motions with his head to the chair. “Sit down. This is going to take a minute.”
On unsteady legs, I walk over and sit across from my brother. His eyes meet mine with a sadness I’ve never seen before from him. I inhale one more uneven breath and prepare myself for the worst.
23
Outside The Wire
After the track meet, I spot Judah still in the corner of the parking lot. Elliot is getting a ride home with Oliver so at least I know she’s safe. It still doesn’t change the fact my patience has run out. I clench and unclench my fist while I watch him finally get into his truck and pull out of the parking lot. Five seconds later, I crank the ignition and follow him.
Fortunately for me, Judah pulls into an alley beside the liquor store. I park one block over and let my truck idle. I know this is a bad idea, but if Oliver’s going to pretend like it’s no big deal then somebody needs to show this asshole that it is.
He has a cocky smirk on his face when he exits the store with a brown paper bag tucked under his arm. His face is concentrating on his phone while he attempts to text and walk at the same time.
I shake my head. Of course he’s drinking again. I don’t think the kid’s been sober since Elliot broke up with him. It’s a dangerous combination—alcohol and heartache. It makes you do crazy, irrational things. Sometimes unspeakable things you can never take back. I won’t let anything happen to Elliot because of this behavior.
When Judah gets back into his truck, I pull out and follow him exactly where I knew I would. He maintains the speed limit and stays inside the lines the entire way to Elliot’s driveway. Hopefully, he hasn’t started yet. It will be easier to get him to leave without resorting to violence. I don’t want to hit him, but my patience is running thin.
I park against his bumper and jump out of my truck. He slides out of his vehicle casually and turns back to me and laughs.
“How did I know it was you again?” Judah says sarcastically and then reaches across his seat for the small brown bag. He twists the cap off the bottle and takes a long drink. “What’s your fucking problem with me?”
I cock my head to him. “Elliot already made it clear to you she doesn’t want to see you. You need to stop this.”
He laughs again. Right in my fucking face. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”
“I think I fucking do.”
Judah runs a hand along his jaw, studying me for a moment. “Why are you so concerned with what’s going on between us?”
It must be something he sees in my face because his grin widens as he tilts the bottle back once more. I watch him twist on the cap and place it on his front seat. “You’re fucking her, aren’t you?”
The anger burns behind my eyes as I glare back at him. “When a girl tells you no, it means no. If you can’t understand that then I’m going to be forced to explain it to you.” I lean into him and he keeps his stance in challenge. His nostrils flare. “Trust me, motherfucker. You don’t want that.”
Judah shoves me back, and I laugh under my breath. “You think I don’t know what’s going on here? This is what she does.”
My pulse starts to beat into my neck, and I clench my fist at my side. “I’d shut the fuck up if I were you. Last warning.”
His eyes turn darker. “Don’t you get it? It all ends with me anyway. Everyone else is just a casualty. Dylan, obviously, now you—you’re just collateral damage.” His eyes lock on mine. “She always comes back to me.”
“Not this time,” I grit out. My fist clenches so violently I’m surprised my knuckles don’t crack.
Judah looks thoughtful for a moment and then a smirk spreads across his face. “I was the first person to have her. Did you know that?” He takes a step toward me, and I take a breath. “And I’m going to be the last.”
That’s when I lose it. My fist flies at Judah’s face so forcefully his head snaps back against the open door. Blood immediately begins to pour from his nose after I land hit after hit. He manages to get one to the side of my face, but I don’t even feel it.
The white noise continues to ring in my ears until he collapses to the ground. I wipe the blood from my face before landing a kick straight to his ribs. I find the will to stop for a moment and catch my breath. The weight on my back and the screaming from beside me brings me all the way out it. My eyes scan around, and I find a distressed Elliot clutching her chest with one hand.
“Stop!” Ollie growls in my ear.
I realize he’s the one pulling me away, and I don’t even remember him walking out here.
My chest heaves in and out, and I shrug him off. Judah groans from the pavement and Oliver gives me a forceful shove on the shoulder. “What the fuck, man?”
I stumble sideways, but my eyes cut to Elliot knelt beside Judah, horror on her face. He still didn’t really move too much yet. I must have really hurt him.
With tears in her eyes, she’s looking back to me while resting a hand on his chest. “Why did you do this?”
“I’m sorry,” I say, still struggling to take full breath. “He was sa
ying horrible things about you.”
Her face contorts in disgust. “So you beat the shit out of him?”
The look in her eyes destroys me. I’ve seen it before, and I never wanted to see it from her. Oliver clasps my shoulder, but I don’t turn to face him.
“Go to take a walk, man. Chill the fuck out for a minute.”
The tone of his voice doesn’t make it seem like something I can argue. My entire body is shaking, and I can’t tear my eyes away from Elliot. She’s still on her knees at his side and he’s starting to come around and mumbling incoherently. If she could just look at me and let me know she’s okay I could walk away a little easier right now—but she doesn’t. She cradles his face in her hands and speaks to him in a soothing tone.
I can’t watch anymore, so I stalk off down the driveway. When I make it back to the guest house, I walk straight to the bathroom. I pull my blood-spattered shirt over my head and glance in the mirror. My hands grip the edges of the sink, and I study the cut across my lip. It’s going to be hard to hide that one. He must have gotten one good elbow in that I was too enraged to notice.
Reaching into the drawer beside me, I grab a towel and wet it in the sink. As I’m wiping the blood from my face, I take in the eyes staring back at me. They’re as hard and cold as the ones who created them.
With a fresh T-shirt on, I make my way back to the living room as a hard knock lands on my door. My shoulders tense before I see Oliver looking through the glass. I pull it open slowly. “You gonna hit me?”
His expression is unreadable as he holds my gaze. “Can I come in?”
I wave him inside with an impassive look on my face. Might as well get it over with. This night can’t possibly get any worse.
Oliver steps past me and continues to look me over with extreme scrutiny. He nods once. “When were you going to tell me?”
My heart instantly sinks. I’m not sure how to react. Did he figure this out on his own or did Elliot tell him? My mouth runs dry when I attempt to swallow. “About what?”