by Cole Lepley
I take a deep breath. “Okay, let me have it.”
She sits up the whole way and crosses her legs in front of her. Her eyes remain wary. “I’m serious, Hunter. You can’t freak out, and I don’t like keeping things from you, so I want to tell you.”
My pulse begins to quicken. Since our current situation is still precarious, I’m afraid of what she’s going to say.
“I promise.”
She laughs once. “Okay, well remember that in a few minutes.” She flicks her long, dark hair over her shoulder and meets my eyes. “Holden started a rumor at lunch that Judah got into a fight with my new boyfriend.”
My stomach drops a little further. “Do they know who?”
“No,” she says.
This time, I breathe a sigh of relief. I reach over and squeeze her shoulder. “Okay, we can handle that. Judah said he isn’t going to say anything, and you trust him, right?”
“Right.”
She answers automatically, but her tone lacks enthusiasm. Something’s not right.
“What else happened?”
She turns her eyes away from me toward the window. “You’re going to get mad.”
I’m already mad imagining all of the horrible things she could possibly tell me. The fact that she’s upset at all right now is reason enough for me to find the person who made her this way and teach him a lesson—but I’m not going to do that. I’m going to take a deep breath and think everything through as it comes.
I grab her hand. “Elle, look at me baby.” Her eyes shift back to me, and I bring her hand up to my lips. “Let me fix it, okay? Whatever it is, you should never be afraid to tell me something.”
The look in her eyes is desolate and it destroys me. What could have possibly happened today to make her feel this way?
She takes a shaky breath. “I don’t want to ruin your life.”
My eyebrows pull in, confused by her admission. I tug her closer to me and wrap my arms around her. “What could make you think that?” I kiss the side of her head. “Huh?”
She sniffs like she’s been silently crying. “The guys are determined to get to the bottom of what happened to Judah. If they find out…” her voice trails off with a strangled sob. She grips the front of my T-shirt, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. “You could get in serious trouble. Like trouble you can’t come back from.”
I know the risks of being with her. I’ve weighed them in my own head too many times to count, but they don’t matter anymore. I want her, need her even, and I’m too selfish to let her go now.
She squeezes me tighter and lays her cheek against my chest. “I just got you. It’s not fair if I lose you already.”
“You won’t lose me, Elle.” I lean back and tip her chin, kissing her once. “You won’t. No matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere.”
She kisses me back harder, gripping the back of my neck. I work my lips over hers to calm her, but it calms me too. Being near her is enough to take away any doubt that we belong together. I know we do. All that’s left is to figure out how.
As promised, Oliver and I are running the lifts and helping with the tubing park at the resort this weekend. Elliot is inside bartending which I’m not exactly thrilled about. All that keeps running through my mind is drunk vacationers making lewd comments and eyeing her like she’s on the menu.
“Whatcha thinking about over there, Mayweather?” Oliver smirks at me as he loads inner tubes onto the conveyor.
“Nothing.” I attempt to keep my tone casual, but he sees right through me.
He lifts his beanie and looks me in the eye. “You know what pisses me off the most?”
I raise an eyebrow, and he shakes his head. “Every time you were in one of these pissy little moods it was about my fucking sister.”
“I’m sorry. I should have been honest with you.”
He nods. “Yeah, you should have.” He stops throwing the tubes on the belt for a minute and readjusts his gloves. When he’s done, he looks up at me with a serious expression. “First and foremost, Elliot is my main concern. If I think you’ve stepped out of line with her in any way, I won’t hesitate to retaliate. You’ve put me in an awkward position here, man.”
I run my hand roughly down my face. “I know, I really do. And I wouldn’t expect anything less.” I pause for a moment and attempt to swallow the growing lump in my throat. Just the thought of someone causing her harm—myself or otherwise—wrecks me more than I ever imagined. “I promise you that I would never hurt her. I mean that, Ollie.”
Oliver nods again, and his expression softens. “Let’s hope not. Because if you do, the way Judah looks right now will seem mild compared to what I do to you.”
I don’t blame Ollie one bit for feeling that way. My own need to protect Elliot forced me into doing terrible things. I just hope that was the last of it, because I would hate to see what I would do to him if it happens again.
He’s quiet for a moment and then turns to me, the somber expression back on his face. He starts messing with his hat again. I brace myself for what he’s about to say. “Listen, man. I know you have strong feelings for Elle—”
I start shaking my head, and he laughs a little. “Ollie, I already told you. I love her.”
He nods. “Yeah, you said that—but I’m worried.”
I’m starting to think there’s something I don’t know. Elliot was acting weird all week and now Oliver can’t spit out whatever the fuck he wants to tell me. That’s not like him. He’s never afraid to say what he’s thinking.
I sigh heavily and toss another discarded tube onto the conveyor. I square my shoulders when I turn back to him. “Just fucking tell me.”
He takes a breath. “There was an incident during lunch period yesterday.”
“Yeah, I know. She told me.”
Oliver blows out a long breath, clearly relieved. “Okay, good. I didn’t want you finding out that little shit called her a whore while you’re at school and beating him to death in the hallway.”
My blood instantly boils, and my jaw starts to twitch. “What did you say?”
The low tone of my voice makes Ollie visibly flinch. “Um, I thought you said she told you.”
He takes a step back when I take one toward him. “Who said it?”
Ollie braces his hands on my shoulders and looks me dead in the eye. “I’m going to tell you and then you’re going to count to ten and forget about it, okay? I got it covered.”
My posture remains rigid. “Who?” I ask again, but this time I try to speak more calmly. His expression is skeptical, but he releases me and sighs.
“It was Holden, but—”
I pull away from him abruptly and stalk toward the parking lot. Ollie jumps on my back like a spider monkey before I make it three steps. I drag him with me for a few more until the weight of him face plants us both into the snow.
He’s still clinging to me, and I struggle to push him off. We catch sideways glances from several skiers on their way past, but he just laughs.
“Get off of me,” I growl and then give him a forceful shove.
He falls onto his side, still smirking. I push myself up on my knees and grab a handful of snow before throwing it at his face. He dodges it with another chuckle, clearly amused with himself.
I brush my pants off when I stand and turn to glare at him while he does that same. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He grins at me. “It was the quickest way I could think to stop you.”
“Stop me from doing what?”
He rolls his eyes. “Building your criminal record, obviously.” He walks over and gives my shoulder a squeeze. I fight the urge to punch him. “You need to chill. I know you want to murder that kid, but you can’t.”
My nostrils flare. “You said you took care of it. What did you do?”
He releases me and then shrugs. “I threatened him—and then I told Judah.”
Now I’m really going to hit him. “Why the fuck did you tell him?”
He looks at me like I’m some kind of idiot. “Because, genius. Judah can take a swing at him and not serve time for it.”
I cross my arms, extremely uncomfortable with Judah being involved further. “I don’t know, man. I don’t trust him.”
Ollie scoffs. “I know him. He’s just as pissed as you are right now. He’ll set him straight.”
“And what if he wants to tell the truth?”
Ollie shakes his head. “He won’t hurt Elliot. Exposing you, exposes her too. He would never do that to her.”
It’s total bullshit that I’m supposed to put all of my faith in someone who, I not only assaulted, but is definitely in love with my girlfriend. It doesn’t exactly put one’s mind at ease. Ollie senses my tension and sighs.
“Listen, I know you don’t like him, but you have nothing to worry about. Underneath all that chauvinist exterior, he’s a good dude, and he cares about her.” His eyes drift away from me for a second and then he clears his throat. “And, uh—she cares about him, too. So you need to make shit right with him.”
He readjusts his hat once more and turns back toward the conveyor. I don’t say anything back because I know he’s right. If I don’t make nice with Judah then there’s always going to be the worry he’ll change his mind and destroy everything I have. I know I’m the one who put it all at risk, and I have to be the one to fix it.
28
Glass Houses
Winter break couldn’t have come at a better time. The constant tension among my friends now is stifling to say the least. Who would’ve thought that my break-up with Judah would have so much effect on everyone when he isn’t even here? It just goes to show how petty high school really is and how much I can’t wait to be done with it.
I’m powering through the last hour of the day when Cameron breezes past my locker. I glance up from exchanging textbooks and see her come to a stop and turn around. I cast my eyes away from her, but she walks up to the locker beside mine and leans back against it.
I ignore her, continuing to rummage through my things and hoping she’ll go away. I don’t want to deal with whatever she has to say right now. My prayers go unanswered when she speaks.
“Didn’t see you at Holden’s last night. I take it you two are still fighting.”
My hand pauses on my notebook, and I laugh under my breath. “Well, it was a Thursday, and I’ve been really busy with practice.”
“Never stopped you before,” she snaps back at me.
I close my locker hard and sling my bag over my shoulder. When I turn to face her, she flinches back, but I force a smile.
“Why do you care?”
She shrugs, clutching her Bio book to her chest. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen you guys be so hostile toward each other.”
“Well, he’s being a dick so—”
I attempt to step around her, but she blocks my path. “Judah was there. He’s home for break—but you probably didn’t know that since you aren’t talking to him either.”
I grit my teeth. “What’s your point, Cam?”
She stands up straighter. “He said he got into a fight with a couple of guys outside of the liquor store. Seems odd, but whatever right? Why would he lie?”
This conversation is beyond frustrating. If she’s digging for dirt, she’s not going to get it. “I have no idea.”
“There’s a lot of things you don’t seem to know lately.”
I cross my arms, losing every bit of patience I have left. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She leans in closer to me. “It seems Hunter has a mysterious cut on his lip the same week Judah gets the shit beat out of him.”
My pulse skyrockets, bounding through my veins. I struggle to keep my face impassive. The last thing I want is for her to connect the two and get outed by my supposed best friend.
“Doesn’t seem strange to me. Hunter and Ollie go out drinking all the time, and you know how they get.”
She huffs under her breath. “He does live in your guest house now. It’s awfully convenient that he moves in practically the moment Judah leaves for school.”
“Alright,” I say, putting my hand up to stop her from talking anymore. “I’m done with the third degree. Judah and I are over, I’m not seeing anyone else, and I don’t have time for this petty bullshit right now.”
Cameron shifts around on her feet, and the tension subsides from her face. She looks almost sad for a moment.
“Well, I wouldn’t have to make such leaps if you actually talked to me anymore.”
I laugh once. “You’re the one who’s walking around pissed off for no reason.” I throw my arm out to my side. “I don’t even want Dylan, so if that’s what this is about—”
“It’s not,” she says quickly, cutting me off. She tucks a long, red strand of hair behind her ear. “Not really. I just have no idea what’s going on with you, and we used to be so close. It hurts, Elle.”
The heaviness I already felt in my chest multiplies, and I sigh. It’s true I’ve been distant from everyone—except for Hunter—but this is so new for me, and it’s not like I can talk to anyone about it. I’ve never let myself get so wrapped up in someone before, and I don’t know how to make it stop—or if I even want it to.
“I’m sorry, Cam,” I say, my voice softer.
She looks down and picks at the polish on her nails. “It’s okay.”
I shake my head and gently put my hand on her shoulder. “No, it’s not.” When she looks up at me, I offer a small smile. “I’ll try to be more social during break. I’ll come to Holden’s this weekend, and we can hang out like old times.”
This gets her to smile and for some reason it makes me nervous. I haven’t trusted her intentions lately. Well, I kind of never did but it wasn’t something I wanted to admit. I hate when people say someone is jealous of them. It makes them seem full of themselves, and I’m really not. It could seem like I have everything from the outside, but from the inside it’s very different. I have all the same insecurities everyone else has—I was just taught not to let them show.
“I’d like that,” Cameron says after a moment. She glances down at the phone clutched in her hand and then types off a quick text while smiling. She looks up at me again and flips her hair over her shoulder. “Okay, I’ll see you Saturday then.”
“Yep, Saturday.”
I watch her walk away for a minute, strutting around like she knows something that I don’t. I don’t like it. Not at all.
Deciding that we should probably get our stories straight, I drive past Judah’s house on my way home. His truck is in the driveway, so I pull in behind it. I’m not even out of my car yet when I see him walking down the cobblestone sidewalk.
Judah’s house looks a lot like The Lodge. Large glass windows, sharp peaks and edges, and covered in natural stone. It makes sense because his father designed both of them. That’s another thing that brings us together. We both know what it feels like to have people think we have everything handed to us. Being born into a moderately wealthy family comes with more backlash than people would assume. We have to work twice as hard to get any kind of respect for our accomplishments.
That’s why I’m so disappointed with how he’s been acting. I know the last thing he ever wants to do is disappoint his father, and I’d hate to be the reason why he does.
He’s wearing a Cornell hooded sweatshirt, and his ballcap is pulled down low on his head. My heart drops when he gives me that familiar crooked smile as I’m walking up to him.
“I didn’t expect to see you.”
I stop in front of him and cross my arms around myself. “I’m worried about you.”
He laughs under his breath and stares over my head. When his eyes flick down to mine all traces of happiness to see me are gone. “Well, I’m fine.” He nods to my car. “So, you can go back to the guest house with Hunter and quit worrying about it.”
I take a breath. “I get that you’re still mad—”
“Mad?” he
says, cutting me off. He takes a step closer. “I’m not mad, Elliot. I’m…” his voice trails off, and he shakes his head before taking a deep breath and blowing it out forcefully. “I don’t know what I am, but mad doesn’t really describe it.”
I reach forward and place my hand on his arm. He tenses under my touch but doesn’t pull away. “Then what are you feeling, because Holden told me about what’s been going on at school.” I draw my hand back and laugh once bitterly. “Quite dramatically I might add.”
Judah’s jaw ticks. “Yeah, don’t worry about that.” He locks his eyes on mine. “I set him straight. He won’t disrespect you like that again.”
Swallowing back the residual hurt I feel, I nod. It still pisses me off that Holden accused me of sleeping around and hurting Judah while I’m sure it’s perfectly okay if he was doing it.
“Elle, I’m serious.” He speaks more firmly when I don’t answer. “He’s my best friend, but I’d knock him the fuck out if he says anything like that to you ever again.”
“It’s fine,” I say. My voice sounds slightly exasperated because I’m already so tired of defending myself and pretending like I’m fine. I’m not fine. The guy I’m so desperately in love with is risking everything to be with me and all I’m doing is causing more problems for him.
Judah laughs. “I know you’re not fine, babe.” I look up at him and he grins. “You think I don’t know you?” He steps into me and nudges my arm gently. “Come on. Tell me.”
He always says this to me, and he believes it. Only, it’s not the truth. I’ve held more things inside than I’ve ever let out before. It’s not that I lie about it exactly. The only person I’m really protecting is myself. If I don’t appear to ever be hurt, then it isn’t real, is it?
So, I try to be as honest with him as I can. But, how can I possibly talk to him honestly about how I’m feeling right now? I still see the hurt in his eyes when he looks at me. He can smile all he wants, but it’s not real. Despite my best attempts, I know I blindsided him with this.