Alarmed, I crossed the rug and yanked back the curtain. Expecting to see Lochlan fighting off a horde of vampires, I was doubly shocked to find only him. Well, and the dozen or so mutilated bodies strewn across the dance floor. He didn’t appear to be injured, but something was definitely wrong.
“What is he doing?” I said to Kade as Lochlan picked up a red couch and sent it soaring. It crashed into the bar, taking out an entire shelf of glass bottles.
Kade nudged me forward, firmly grasping my arm when I balked. “He’s fully succumbed to the Lochness Monster, that’s what. We need to take care of these bodies before the police arrive, but I can’t get through to him. So now it’s your turn.”
“What?” I squeaked, pointlessly digging my heels in as Kade continued to push me toward the raging vampire. “B-but you said not to go near him when he’s like this.”
“Things are different now. He would never hurt you.”
“But how can you know?” When all he did was drag me closer to my doom, I sharply twisted out of his hold. Rounding on him, I snapped, “How do you know, Kade?”
He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Because you’re his solemae.”
“But I don’t even know what that means,” I shouted at him.
“Soulmate!” he yelled back, shaking me again. “The bond pushing you two together is your souls trying to merge. And right now, your soulmate is suffering, locked inside the darkest parts of his mind. He needs you. Please, little Kenna. Go to him.”
His passionate words shook me to my core. I didn’t fully understand, couldn’t possibly. Didn’t even know if I believed in such a thing. I’d recently learned to believe in far more impossible things, though. Learned to accept that a whole new world existed beneath my very nose.
But soulmates?
Just thinking of the word sent a pang through my chest, as if it were begging for my attention. Don’t ignore me, it seemed to plead. You know it’s true.
I rubbed at the ache, more confused and uncertain than ever. But more than that, I was scared. Freaking terrified of what this meant.
Kade suddenly stiffened. The club’s red lights flashed across his face, illuminating his wide eyes. “I shouldn’t have touched you. He’s going after me now. Get back, Kenna.”
As he slowly stepped away from me, raising his hands, I became aware of the silence. The music, the blaring alarm, the roars and raging. Everything had stopped. Turning, I spotted Lochlan near the perimeter, still as stone. He’d obviously been ransacking the alcoves, tearing up the curtains and chaises. They were in tatters, shredded to pieces by his claws.
But he’d stopped. All of his focus was on Kade now. Fates, I’d seen him angry before, but not like this. This . . .
It was feral. Desperate. Unhinged. Like all he saw was red, and that red had to be eliminated at all costs.
And Kade just waited, waited like he knew and was willing to face the darkness, because Lochlan was his friend. His drothen. And he’d do anything for him, even if it killed him.
Because of me.
And there was no way, no way, I would allow that to happen. Not if I had even the slightest chance of stopping it.
So I ran. I ran straight at Lochlan using my enhanced speed. And before he could attack his best friend and later regret it, I barrelled into him. Not knowing how he’d react, I clung to him tightly and squeezed my eyes shut. He could tear my limbs off like flimsy toothpicks. He could run his claws through my heart. He could snap my neck faster than I could blink.
And yet, I held onto him. I breathed in the spilled blood and rage and violence, knowing that he was so much more than those things. I’d seen glimpses of his gentler side. I’d seen vulnerability and tenderness. I’d seen caring and kindness and protectiveness. I held onto those things, willing him to remember. To come back to himself. To come back to me.
It was an eternity of waiting, of doubting I had the power to help him. But then he moved. Not to attack, but to slowly pull me against him.
“McKenna,” he whispered, his voice lost and uncertain.
Tears sprung to my eyes at the sound. Something told me that he’d been stuck in his own personal hell for the last several minutes.
“McKenna,” he said again, as though questioning if this was real. If I was real.
“I’m here,” I replied, hesitantly running my hands up and down his back.
He shuddered violently in response, then buried his nose in my hair, deeply inhaling my scent. The intimate, almost possessive act made my heart flutter happily.
Whoa, okay. That was new.
“You were hurt,” he said after a long moment, swallowing audibly. “I lost control.”
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “It’s over now.” I wasn’t used to being the strong one. I wasn’t used to comforting him. It both scared and thrilled me, this new dynamic between us. Things were changing, and once again, I didn’t know what that meant.
“How’s Isla?” he finally said, lightly brushing his fingers through my hair.
“She’s . . .” I stilled, suddenly at a loss for words.
“She’s dead,” said a strangled voice behind me.
I jerked around to see a distraught Kade with Isla hanging limply in his arms.
Every inch of me went numb with cold.
20
LOCHLAN
“No!” McKenna wailed, rocking her friend’s lifeless body in her arms.
Every cry, every sob and scream, mercilessly tore at my heart. Even while knowing that the unbearable pain was hers and not mine, I clutched at my aching chest.
Our bond was growing stronger. I’d tasted her blood and she’d tasted mine. The mutual mixing of our life essence had only knit us tighter together, a fact I hadn’t thought through until it was too late. I’d only been thinking of easing her pain, because nothing hurt me more than seeing her suffer.
Now, instead of sensing her emotions, I could actually feel them, as if they were my own—just like I could with Kade’s. His pain was acute as well. Helplessly, he stared down at the dead human girl my solemae was grieving over.
At first, she hadn’t believed him, frantically checking for her friend’s pulse. The sight had constricted my lungs, making it hard to breathe. Instead of confirming out loud what I already knew, instead of pulling her back into my arms, I’d let her drag her friend to the blood-flecked floor and discover the truth for herself.
I’d never hated myself more. For failing her again. For the raw agony she was in. For what I was about to do.
“Kade,” I said quietly, hating myself even more when he lifted his sad eyes to mine. “She was drained. It hasn’t been too long.”
He stilled. I watched as my words slowly sank in.
“I need you to do it,” I said more firmly when hesitation clouded his expression. “You know why.”
His face fell. “She’ll hate me. They both will.”
“No. They’ll hate me. Because I’m giving the order. You have no choice.”
His jaw hardened. “Is your order final?”
I steeled my voice, even as my heart twisted in misery. “You know it is.”
He lowered his gaze, but not before I saw the hurt I’d caused. “Very well, my prince. I’ll see that it’s done.”
The formality was like a punch to the gut, but I wouldn’t rescind my order. My mind was made up. Not wanting to burden him further, I was the one to approach McKenna. To crouch before her and gently yet firmly release her grip on Isla’s body.
“No,” she whimpered, resisting my hold. “Lochlan, I’m not ready. I’m not—”
“Go. And take our remaining blood supply,” I commanded Kade, who scooped Isla up and took off.
“Isla!” McKenna screamed, lunging to follow. When I restrained her, she fought me like an angry demon. Her fangs flashed. Even her black claws came out, scrambling to inflict damage. Only my gloves and clothing kept me from feeling the full brunt of her wrath. But I still felt it, flaying me open from the inside.<
br />
“I’m sorry,” I said, even as I refused to let her go. “It had to be done.”
“How could you? How could you!” she roared, arching her back as I pinned her beneath me on the floor.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, unable to bear the accusation in her eyes. She felt betrayed. Again. I had sworn to never let anything hurt her, yet here I was, doing just that.
She abruptly stilled, releasing a shuddering sob. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Tears slipped from her eyes, dripping to the concrete below. “Is this my fate? To never get to say goodbye to the people I love? To be abandoned? To watch as everyone I know dies?”
A mournful sound left her, one that threatened to rip out my heart.
I almost did something unforgivable then. I almost looked deeply into her eyes and thralled her to forget. To forget the pain of this moment, the nightmare of this evening. And every moment before this one that had caused her to suffer.
But as much as her pain killed me, taking away any part of her, even the painful parts, felt like the worst kind of betrayal. A betrayal she would never forget, let alone forgive.
“That won’t be your fate, McKenna,” I said instead, freeing a hand to touch her cheek. “I won’t let it.”
She quieted, not because she believed or trusted me, but out of sheer exhaustion. Her emotions weighed me down, but I forced myself to move, knowing the night’s work had only just begun. Relieved when she let me carry her to a white couch left unscathed, I carefully placed her on the cushions before turning to face the damage I had caused.
Bodies littered the floor, but I couldn’t make myself feel remorse for killing them. They were part of the movement bent on taking McKenna away from me. Anyone who did that deserved a swift end.
What I didn’t understand was why none of them had tried to kill me. It was a relatively new movement, one I knew little about. They only surfaced when a new Syphon was found, making my job beyond difficult. I hadn’t been prepared when they’d swooped in out of nowhere eighteen years ago and killed the Syphon in my care. She’d only been twelve years old.
The group tonight had all been Feltore. It had been easy to cut them down, even their leader. Although, I suspected the chain of command went far beyond him. Someone with a set of steel balls had to be at the top. Anyone less than that wouldn’t dare stand against the royal family. So far, I hadn’t found any leads as to who it could be though. Maybe next time, I would keep one alive for questioning.
Fishing out a lighter I kept on me at all times for emergencies like this, I headed to the bar and found an intact bottle of vodka. There was nothing I could do about the humans who’d seen us, but hopefully the dim lighting and overall chaos had made it hard for them to see what we truly were.
I got to work dousing the bodies and lighting them on fire, a necessary task to keep our secret intact. When all twelve bodies were lit, I stepped back, letting the smoke and heat dull my senses for a moment. None of them had tried to kill me. None had tried to escape either. With McKenna’s life on the line, I needed to find out more about them before they attempted something like this again. They’d been smart, going after Isla like that. Whoever was in charge knew my solemae well, which boiled the blood in my veins.
Through the rising flames, I could see her. Wrapped in that sinful red dress, her graceful form contrasted sharply with the white couch she laid on.
She was already staring at me.
I met her molten silver eyes, eyes that never failed to enchant me. She had no idea how beautiful she was. Perfect in every way. That perfection went beyond the surface, touching the very heart of her. She was fierce and brave and stronger than she knew. She’d been through so much, and yet, she was still looking at me. Unflinchingly. Boldly. Challenging me with every precious breath she took.
I stared back, letting her see a sliver of the darkness within by reining in my shadows. She didn’t look away. She never had. A fact that had immediately drawn me to her, unlike the previous Syphons. Even when she should have been, she was never afraid of me. Never cowered or ran. I’d relentlessly tested her, seeing if she’d reveal her true colors. Seeing if she’d prove to me that witches and vampires would forever be mortal enemies doomed to destroy each other.
But she hadn’t.
She’d kept our secret from her guardian. She’d befriended us. Trusted us. Defended us. She’d opened herself up to pain and heartache, allowing us in even when she hadn’t understood. She still didn’t.
By a cruel twist of fate, our souls were intertwined. Whether the curse caused it to happen or fate had intervened, I didn’t know.
Not a minute had gone by over the past week where I hadn’t thought about telling her everything. About my past and hers, about our soul connection, about the long road ahead. She deserved to know. I knew that now. No more tests, no more half truths were needed.
But telling her would mean facing my darkness. Telling her would mean baring my soul to the one being who could destroy me completely.
And I’d spent over a hundred years protecting myself. Letting her in would be like stripping naked and asking her to touch me. Skin-to-skin. No barriers. Nothing to stop her from killing me.
I didn’t know if I had the strength. I didn’t know if I had it in me to trust again. To trust her. Even after everything we’d been through together.
My sensitive ears picked up the distant wail of sirens and I forced myself to look away. To finish what I’d started so that one piece of my nightmarish past could be laid to rest. A piece that often kept me up at night, pushing me to replay it over and over and over.
I grabbed a few more bottles and got to work.
21
KENNA
I knew what the five stages of grief were. Right now, I was in denial.
Denial that my best friend was dead.
Denial that I hadn’t saved her.
Denial that Lochlan was torching the place.
It was a lie, but one that promised a moment of reprieve. I could pretend that nothing bad was happening. That there was nothing to be sad about. I could focus on other things instead, like how comfortable this couch was. Like how heavy my body, my very soul was right now, and how desperately I wanted to sleep it all away.
But Lochlan wouldn’t let me. Just like he hadn’t let me say goodbye to Isla. Resentment threatened to tear away my blissful state of numbness, so I shut down that thought.
“McKenna, we have to go. The police are here,” he said, crouching before me. The acrid stench of smoke stung my nostrils and I recoiled from him. A pang of hurt suddenly twisted inside my chest, there and gone again so quickly that I almost missed it. Confusion trickled through me. The feeling didn’t make sense. It felt foreign. Like it wasn’t even mine.
Before I could puzzle over it though, Lochlan swept me into his arms. His touch, his closeness, immediately awoke my senses. Making me feel.
“No,” I said weakly, but he was already moving at vampire speed, carrying me far away from that room ablaze in death and sorrow.
The ride back to the motel was silent. When I’d briefly panicked and asked where Kade was, Lochlan had simply assured me that he was safe. I hadn’t pressed for more details, almost certain I already knew where and what Kade was doing.
Burying Isla.
And my brain couldn’t accept that reality, so I didn’t ask.
“You should shower,” Lochlan quietly said.
I blinked up at him, then at our dingy surroundings. I’d been staring vacantly at the motel room’s carpet. When had we arrived here? Realizing he was waiting for my reply, I nodded woodenly and headed for the bathroom. Once inside, I turned on the shower and then sat on the toilet lid.
Minutes crawled by but I couldn’t force myself to get up. So it was no surprise when Lochlan poked his head in to check on me. What I didn’t expect was for him to toe off his boots and remove his hooded jacket and gun harness while coming inside. I watched him with a detached sort of curiosity, allowing him to gra
sp my hand and pull me up.
When he bent to unbuckle my stilettos though, I couldn’t help but ask, “What are you doing?” I placed my hand on his shoulder for balance as he removed one shoe, then the other.
“Helping you,” he said, rising to his full height so I had to tip my head back. “Comforting you. If you’ll let me.”
I felt it again. That foreign pang. It was different this time though, like a thrum of nervous energy. Was I nervous? I didn’t think so, which was why the feeling confused me. When I didn’t answer, the energy sputtered like a candle flame in the wind.
“Please, McKenna. Let me comfort you,” he said more softly, the words laced with so much need that I knew I couldn’t say no.
When I nodded, the relief I felt almost bowled me over. Okay, this wasn’t normal. I wasn’t feeling nervous or relieved. I wasn’t feeling much of anything other than confusion. So why was I feeling these things?
Cold leather skated across my skin as Lochlan brushed my hair back, and suddenly, I knew. Just like that. Without a shadow of doubt, I knew exactly what I was feeling. “It’s you,” I whispered.
Confusion panged through me, and this time, it wasn’t mine. My heart sped up.
“What is?” Lochlan said, the light scrape of his claws over my collarbone drawing a shiver from me.
I grabbed his hand and held it against my chest. “I can feel you. Right here.”
Alarm. Desire. Hints of fear.
All feelings that weren’t mine.
“It’s the bond, isn’t it,” I pressed, already knowing that it had to be. Nothing else made sense. “It’s grown stronger.”
Dread. Relief. More fear.
“Yes,” he finally admitted, almost too softly to hear. “When you consumed my blood.” He paused, thoroughly searching my face. “I can feel you too.”
Goosebumps pebbled my skin. “What am I feeling?”
His gaze lowered. Reaching up, he hooked his finger under the strap of my dress and slowly slipped it over my shoulder. I shivered again, releasing his hand when he focused on the other strap. “Grief. Sorrow.” He worked the second strap down with infinite care. “Desire.” My breath hitched as the top of my dress inched downward, exposing more and more skin and cleavage. “Growing excitement.”
Curse Touched: A Paranormal Vampire Romance (A Touch of Vampire Book 2) Page 18