‘This family is so weird, why can’t you tell me the full story, it’s driving me crazy.’
‘I’ve told you before, it’s best you don’t know, for your own safety and sanity.’
Alice couldn’t imagine what terrible secrets they were hiding. Was her mother hiding away in rehab somewhere? Perhaps she’d murdered someone and was in prison. A shudder ran down her spine.
‘You just need to know the risks of binge drinking. I still don’t think you have a problem, but I don’t want you ending up like Camilla.’
‘So, what do you suggest I do? Give up?’
‘Of course not. Just try moderation, drink slower. Have a glass of water between drinks.’
‘You mean, give up getting drunk?’
Why don’t you try? We’ll help you. You’re already at an advantage with Jason as he doesn’t drink.’
‘But what about all my friends? I can’t go to parties sober, they’ll all think I’m boring.’
‘Allie, you’re not boring. Perhaps you need new friends.’
Alice shuddered at the idea of being friends with the likes of Tash and Kevin or any of Jason’s boring friends.
‘Okay, well we have another five days here, I’ll practice moderation. I’ll prove I can do it.’
‘That’s my girl!’
The next day, Alice borrowed Damion’s Ferrari and she and Jason cruised down to Biarritz, on the coast.
‘Gawd, this place in an eyesore, isn’t it?’ she said.
‘I like it, it’s buzzing,’ Jason replied.
A Lamborghini flashed passed them.
‘Look at all these pretentious pricks in their flash cars,’ she said.
‘Says you who’s driving a Ferrari.’
Alice laughed. The irony had not been lost on her and she’d meant it as a joke, but Jason clearly hadn’t picked up on it. Did he think she was an idiot?
As they drove along, Alice spotted a busy restaurant and found a car park nearby. They perused the menu.
‘Mmmm, fancy some moules frites?’ she asked.
‘Yep, whatever that is. I’ll eat anything.’
‘It’s a pot of mussels in a white wine sauce.’
‘Sounds good to me.’
They took a seat outside and ordered a beer and the mussels.
‘Can I take the car for a drive after lunch?’ Jason asked.
‘Nope, you’re not insured.’
‘Oh go on, I’ve never driven a Ferrari before.’
‘No way, it’s my baby. And it’s amazing to drive.’
Jason pouted like a naughty schoolboy.
They finished their first beer just as their mussels arrived.
‘Another beer?’ Jason asked.
‘Yes please.’
‘Drink as much as you like. I’ll drive us home.’
No way was she allowing him behind the wheel, she loved driving too much herself. She couldn’t believe his cheap tricks after all his nagging for her to give up.
‘Speaking of which, I can’t believe you went to Damion behind my back and told him I was drinking too much.’
‘Because I’m worried about you.’
‘That’s still no excuse to go behind my back. I’m old enough to know how to look after myself, I don’t need you treating me like a baby.’
‘Maybe if you didn’t act like one, I wouldn’t have to treat you like one!’
Determined not to let him annoy her, she tucked into her lunch and ignored him. She ordered two more beers and soaked up the seaside atmosphere. Thankfully, Jason had dropped the subject and she was able to relax.
Jason paid, and as they walked out to the car, Alice felt a bit light-headed from drinking in the sun. Maybe she should let him drive. Nah, she’d be fine, she’d driven drunk plenty of times.
She hopped in the driver’s seat, put the car into gear, and reversed out of the parking spot a little too fast and the car stopped with a giant crunch.
‘Oh crap!’ She switched off the engine and jumped out to see what she’d hit. A flag pole was still wavering from the impact.
‘I told you I should have driven.’
‘Oh, shut the fuck up will you, what are we going to do?’
She surveyed the damage. The rear panel had popped out, and it looked nasty. Jason popped the panel back in, and it didn’t look nearly as bad, just a mild crease where it had hit the pole.
‘I think you got off lightly there, Allie. It should be okay to drive.’
Alice handed him the keys. His face lit up. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, just be careful.’
Jason drove back up the coast towards Bordeaux.
He was a good driver and Alice nodded off in the passenger seat. She’d had too many beers at lunchtime; when would she ever learn?
By the time they got back to Damion’s farm house, they were exhausted, and Alice dreaded telling him what had happened.
‘Do you think he’ll notice if I don’t say anything?’
‘Umm... yes.’
They walked inside, where the others were deep into a game of Monopoly. Molly had just landed on Damion’s Mayfair, and he was in the process of collecting rent from her.
‘It’s not fair, you always get Mayfair and Park Lane.’
‘Hey, you’ve got the Euston set, what are you complaining about?’
Alice didn’t want to bust up their ‘fun’, so they said their hellos, and headed up to their bedroom.
‘When you gonna tell him?’ Jason asked.
‘Never.’
‘Really?’
‘Guess I’ll wait until the morning, he seemed to be having too much fun taking money off his child.’
‘Maybe you should tell him now, while he’s in a good mood. You don’t want him to see it first, that could be disastrous.’
‘It’ll be fine, I’ll tell him in the morning. I’m going to sleep, I’m so tired.’
The next morning, Alice was woken by a thumping on the bedroom door. ‘What the heck?’
Jason got up and answered it. A red faced Damion stood there, his eyes dark. In a deep voice he said, ‘What did you do to my Ferrari?’
Alice sat up in bed. ‘I can explain...’
‘Meet me downstairs,’ he said, cutting her off.
Alice got dressed and headed downstairs, followed by Jason.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you last night, it’s just I was so tired and you guys were having fun playing Monopoly, and I didn’t want to disturb you.’
‘So, what happened?’
‘I reversed into a pole.’
‘Had you been drinking?’
‘I had a couple of beers.’
‘A couple? How many?’
Alice looked at the floor. ‘Four.’
He looked at Jason. ‘And you let her drink four beers, then drive my Ferrari?’
‘Hey, I tried to stop her, but short of forcing a beer, or the keys out of her hand, what could I do?’
‘You two are unbelievable.’ He stormed into his office, and Alice heard him talking to the insurance company. He’d be able to claim on insurance, she didn’t know what his problem was.
Josh and Terri came in. ‘What’s going on, what’s Damion shouting about?’
‘I crashed his car.’
‘What? No! Really?’ Terri said.
‘I reversed into a pole, it’s not that bad. He’s mad because I didn’t tell him about it last night.’
‘Still, it is his pride and joy.’
‘It’s just a car, he needs to get over himself. It’s not my fault.’ As she said the words, she didn’t mean them. He’d been generous to lend them his car. It was completely her fault, she’d been drinking, she’d crashed his car. She was a terrible person, and something needed to be done about it.
Chapter 7
Alice started work the same evening she flew back to London. She watched everyone at the bar, getting drunk and enjoying themselves. Could she give up drinking? No way; it was too much fun.
Th
e buzz of the bar excited her, especially when it was busy. The music pumped through her veins as she mixed cocktails, a specialty of The Community Bar. It was her favourite job, mixing, stirring, concocting. She’d be happy spending the rest of her life doing this. Maybe one day she’d open her own bar.
She’d just had a large order for her own cocktail, Heaven in a Glass, when Bryan came up and spanked her on the bum.
‘Oi,’ she said. ‘What was that for?’
‘You need to get a move on, another big order has come in.’
‘You know I can’t rush Heaven in a Glass, it’s a complex combination and needs love and patience.’
‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get on with it, yeah?’
Alice poked her tongue at him but picked up the pace. She’d been daydreaming, and it was showing. But this was what she loved about working in the bar, the urgency, multitasking, the ability to lip read, it was awesome.
The next day she visited the doctors and they took samples and blood tests to check her kidney function. It was seven days since she’d crashed Damion’s Ferrari and she hadn’t had a drink since. But Katie was having a party Saturday night and Alice looked forward to treating herself. You can’t go to a party and stay sober, it’s not done.
Saturday rolled around quickly. Alice finished up her shift at the bar just after nine and headed around to Katie’s, where the party was already in full swing. In a hurry to catch up on the drinking, she pushed her way through the crowd and took her four-pack of Corona into the kitchen, cut up a lime into wedges, and placed them in a bowl on the side. She flicked the lid of the bottle and poked a wedge into it, giving it an extra squeeze of lime, then took a sip. The cool liquid mingled with citrus slid down her throat.
In the lounge, Katie was already half-cut. ‘Allie, so good to see you. You’re looking nice and tanned after your trip to France. How was it?’
‘Awesome, we had a great time. Damion’s restaurant is amazing.’
Alice told her all about the degustation, their sightseeing, while Katie oohed and aahed over it. She left out the bit about crashing the car, she was embarrassed about it.
‘Did Damion like Jason?’
‘He didn’t say, but he said he was a good influence for me.’
‘Pity he’s so boring,’ Katie friendly punched her on the arm. ‘Let’s get another drink.’
They entered the kitchen and Alice helped herself to another Corona while Katie grabbed a glass of wine.
‘Do you really think Jason’s boring?’
Katie stared at her as if she must be joking. ‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah, you’re right, he is,’ Alice admitted.
‘But hey, at least he doesn’t stop you doing what you want. You’ve got the best of both worlds. A hot boyfriend, and a life. Unlike poor single ole me.’
‘Haha, I can’t imagine anyone could tame you, Katie.’
Alice polished off her four Coronas, then helped herself to Katie’s wine, then downed some shots and the rest of the night faded into oblivion.
The next morning her head felt like a bomb had gone off inside of it, fragments of her brain pulsated against her cranium, pounding, writhing, screaming out for pain relief. Her tongue had swollen to a balloon sized chunk of sandpaper rasping against the roof of her mouth. Alice pushed her hands into the side of her temples, trying to block out the pain, to no avail.
She grabbed a glass of water from her bedside table and gulped it down. Her stomach recoiled, threatening to expel its contents all over the bed. She raced to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet, waiting for the inevitable.
A mixture of black rice filled the toilet bowl. At first, she thought it was blood, but then she remembered she’d done black sambuca shots at one stage during the evening. Combined with the risotto she’d eaten for dinner it was not a pretty sight.
She flushed the evidence away, then realised everything around her was in perfect focus.
‘Shit!’ she said out loud as she realised she’d forgotten to take her contact lenses out before bed. She tried to remove the left one, but it had stuck to her eyeball. Panic stirred as she worried she might go blind, knowing that she should never sleep with them in. She reached into the cabinet for some eyedrops, and popped some into each eye, blinked a few times, then tried again to remove her lenses. This time they slid out easily.
Alice crawled back into bed diving under the covers, doing her best to shut out the daylight as it forced its way into her room and didn’t wake again until lunchtime.
Still feeling unwell, she forced down a piece of toast and a cup of tea. She hated herself and what she was doing to her body. She hated that she had crashed Damion’s Ferrari after drinking, and it annoyed her that she had got so defensive about it, making excuses as to why it had happened. The truth was, she couldn’t control her drinking and it was starting to have consequences.
The door bell buzzed, distracting her from her misery. It was Jason, so she let him in. As soon as he saw her, he knew.
‘Oh Allie, you were doing so well with your drinking. Can’t you see it’s no good for you?’
‘For fucks sake, stop nagging me. You sound like a stuck record.’
Jason ignored her and made a cup of coffee. He brought it over and sat beside her.
‘Have you thought about that Groupon deal?’
‘To be honest, I forgot about it, with the trip to France and all that.’
‘Allie, please let me buy it for you, it’s worth a go.’
Alice buried her head in her hands, not wanting to think about it.
‘What do you say? Give it a go?’ he prompted.
‘Whatever, if it keeps you off my back.’
Jason pulled up the Groupon deal on his phone and a scowl crossed his face. ‘Oh, I don’t believe this.’
‘What?’
‘They’ve bloody well sold out, haven’t they.’
‘I thought it was for two weeks.’
Jason read the small print. ‘It was, but subject to availability. They’ve sold their quota, dammit.’
Alice shrugged, unsure whether she was pleased or not.
Chapter 8
Alice had a day off, so she caught the train up to Oxford to visit her grandparents. She tried to visit them at least once a month as she enjoyed their company.
The train rattled over the tracks as Alice marvelled at the countryside from her window seat. It was all so English, and she realised she loved this country. She wondered if she could ever go back to America but didn’t think so. Although she had loved living in New York, there were too many bad memories there. And she believed in moving forwards, not backwards.
Alice arrived in Oxford and walked to her grandparents’ house from the station. Her grandmother fussed over her and offered her a glass of wine with dinner, but she politely refused, saying she was trying to give it up.
‘One glass won’t hurt you,’ she said.
‘No thanks, I promised Jason I would cut down. And you’ve noticed, I never stop at just one.’
‘Nonsense, who is this boy to be telling you what to do?’
‘He cares about me Gran.’
‘Is it serious? When are we going to meet him?’
‘Maybe one day,’ Alice said, knowing she’d never bring him up here. ‘Did you know my birth mother was an alcoholic?’
‘Yes, Damion told me Camilla got sick and lost a kidney. Are you worried it might be hereditary?’
‘It might be. How well did you know Camilla? Nobody will tell me about her, or where she is.’
‘Oh, I hardly knew her. She was only a schoolgirl when Damion dated her. Attractive, and smart. But sorry, not much else I can tell you I’m afraid.’
Her grandmother absentmindedly poured Alice a glass of wine and handed it to her. She took it, thinking she’d tried her best. It was a Chablis and her tastebuds thanked her for it. Damion’s mother had good taste in wines, must be where he gets his from.
They sat down to Alice’s favourite meal; ro
ast chicken with all the trimmings. It was something her grandmother always cooked when she came to visit, much to the grumblings of her grandfather who didn’t like chicken.
Alice crawled into bed that evening after polishing off a bottle of wine to herself and passed out straight away, a welcome change from going to bed sober.
The only downside was she awoke at 2am with a dry mouth and a thumping head. She got up and drank a gallon of water, then lay awake wondering what she would do about her drinking problem.
The next morning, she headed to her favourite cafe, a short stroll from her grandparents’ house, where in her opinion they served the best coffee in England. She ordered a flat white, then sat down by the window.
As she gazed at the Baristas’ working away, her mind drifted back to a previous time she’d visited here. She remembered the handsome guy who’d made her coffee and had sat with her while they talked about America. The penny dropped.
Now she knew where she had seen Dr Smith before. She’d met him in this cafe five years ago. He’d been a barista, working his way through his final year at university.
His name was Ethan, and he’d arranged to meet her in London for drinks. At the last minute he’d called to cancel and said he would reschedule with her. But then she’d changed her phone number because Charles, her ex-boyfriend was stalking her, and she didn’t have Ethan’s contact details to tell him her new one. As a result, she’d never heard from him again and had since forgotten about him.
At the time, she’d thought about trying to contact him at the university, but decided that would seem desperate. As well as that, she hadn’t known his last name.
She double checked the photo on his website. He looked older, more mature, his hair cropped shorter, but it was him. What a shame all the Groupon deals had sold out. Now she knew who it was, she’d love to talk to him about her addiction.
While she waited for her coffee, she rang the offices of BanAddiction on the off chance there were some free appointments. A well-spoken woman answered the phone. Alice explained how she had missed out on the deal, but the receptionist said it was too late, so she hung up in frustration.
As she travelled back to London, she thought back to how she’d felt when she had shaken Ethan’s hand in the cafe. It had thrilled her yet terrified her. It had transported her back to when she’d first met her crazy ex-boyfriend.
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