My words do the trick, and Cal places him back down on the ground. “I’m going with her,” he growls, pacing back and forth in front of me.
Cupping my hands around his face, I force him to look at me. His eyes stay fixated on mine as his gaze gradually steadies. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. You could cut the tension in the room with a chainsaw.
“If I agree to this,” I say, throwing my dad a scathing look, “then I’d love nothing more than to have you there with me. But you’d end up hating me. Because I know how much you want to be part of the action. That’s where you belong.”
“I don’t want to leave you on your own. Not when you’ll be so far away,” he pleads, snagging me into his chest.
“I won’t be alone.” My voice is muffled against his shirt.
“Hhmm. Yeah, you’ll have Taylor,” he growls.
Dad lets out an exasperated sigh. “Let’s talk about this later, okay?” I say, reluctantly shucking out of his embrace.
“You’ll be safe in Greece. And that’s the best thing you can do for me, and for the cause. Sleep on it and we’ll discuss it again in the morning,” Dad suggests.
“Fine. But it’s only because I’m done with this conversation.” I walk toward Dad. “You should have forewarned me.” I place my hand gently on his chest, my earlier anger flitting away like leaves in the breeze. There’s a minute part of me that’s actually starting to feel excited at the prospect. But I’m not admitting that now.
Dad deserves to stew a bit.
We are quiet on the journey back to our apartment. Cal’s arm drapes across my shoulder as we walk and my arm rests on his lower back. I love the feel of his body against me and I’m already questioning the wisdom of talking him out of coming to Greece with me. God knows how much I’ll miss him. But war means sacrifices in the name of the greater good. We have to accept that it’ll get harder before it gets easier. And despite everything I’ve endured in the last couple of weeks, I feel hope building inside me and the thought lifts my mood.
“Ari!”
I screech and drop to my knees. I think I’ve almost given Cal a heart attack. Tears leak out of my eyes.
“Zane? Zane? Is that really you?” I slide over to the wall and tuck my knees up under my chin.
“Yes, baby. I’m alive.”
My body shudders as some of the pent-up stress I’ve been hoarding releases in a frantic flurry.
“Oh thank God. I thought you were …” I can’t finish the sentiment. Steady hands land on my shoulder and I peer up at Cal. “It’s Zane,” I tell him, “he’s alive.” I try, and fail, to conceal the wide smile that transforms my features.
“Oh.” That one word hides so many emotions. “Um, that’s good.” It sounds like anything but. He drops down beside me, pressing his back against the wall.
“Where are you?” I ask Zane, honing in on his surroundings. He’s in a small room with white painted walls, a bed, a desk, and a steel door off to the right. It’s sparse and sterile, giving little clue to his whereabouts.
“I’m on Novo.”
“Oh no! How did you end up there? Wait!” I raise my palms in front of me, though it’s silly because he’s not here. “Are you still in a coma?” I ask, the thought only now occurring to me.
“No. They gave me a heart transplant. I’m alive and totally fine. Actually, better than fine. I feel great.”
“Oh my God. That’s awesome. They’re still assholes, but they gave you a new heart, that’s wow.” Tears roll down my face, and Cal lifts a finger to wipe them away. I try to put a leash on my feelings for his sake, but it’s damn hard. I can’t ever recall a time when my emotions were so all over the place. Then I stop that thought. Yes, I can. My face drops as the recollection resurfaces in painful detail.
“I remember everything,” I tell him.
“What?”
“They removed my Vita and all my memories have returned. I know about Siva.”
“You know that was the only thing they did to you that I was glad about. Because you were so torn up over it. It almost destroyed you.”
“I know. I remember. I’m sick even thinking about it now.”
“I need to be with you. Can you talk to your dad and see if there is anything they can do to get me out of here? Also, advise him that Calavero found out about my special project, and he’s forcing me to replicate it here.”
“What special project?”
“There isn’t time to explain. Your dad will understand.”
“Okay,” I say, standing up. “I’ll go to him right away.”
Cal rises and looks at me inquisitively. “We need to talk to my dad. I’ll explain on the way.
“I’ll check in with you later,” Zane says.
“Sure. And Zane?”
“Yeah.”
I bite down on my lip. “I’m so happy you’re okay. You had me so worried.”
“Sorry about that. But I’ve been unconscious for a few days while they operated on me and then while I was recovering.”
“I know it’s not your fault. All that matters now is that you’re okay. We’ll get you out of there. Stay safe.”
“I love you, Ari.”
The usual concern builds in my chest, but the happiness I feel at his wholeness overrides anything else. I can sort out everything later. For now, I want him to know how much he means to me. Thinking you’ve lost someone is a hell of a way to gain perspective. “I love you too.”
I don’t feel as guilty knowing I haven’t said it out loud.
I fill Cal in on the way to Command Center, and he listens without interruption. Once we arrive and we locate Dad, I explain it all again. My throat is hoarse from talking and my voice sounds rougher than normal. Cal steps away momentarily and returns with a glass of water. I take it gratefully, smiling up at him. He takes such good care of me, no matter how often I put him through the wringer.
Not for the first time, I think of how I don’t deserve either of them in my life.
Cal holds my hand on the way back to our apartment, but a layer of tension has settled between us, like an invisible wall forcing us to keep our distance. My warring emotions threaten to overwhelm me. I’m so happy that Zane is alive, and now that Dad and Calista have promised to mount a rescue mission, I’m thrilled at the prospect of seeing him again. I need to talk to him about Siva and figure out what to do about it. But I also know that he’s going to confront me about my feelings for him, now that he understands I’ve access to all my memories again. And the thing is, I can’t figure out how I feel.
It’s testament to Zane’s considerable maturity that he didn’t even go there before.
How is it possible to have such strong feelings for two different boys? And where the hell is the manual that tells you how to deal with these things? I miss Mom every day, but never more so than at this moment.
I’m totally distracted in my thoughts so I barely acknowledge the fact that Cal jerks at my side. It’s only when I hear a sweet, clear female voice and accompanying urgent footsteps that I’m jolted out of my inner monologue.
“Cal!”
Tipping my head up, I watch as a stunning blonde-haired girl runs toward us and flings herself at him.
CHAPTER 5
Cal yanks his hand from mine and grabs the strange girl into a fierce hug, his arms lifting her clear off the ground. What the hell? Envy rears its ugly head. The girl has her arms clasped tightly around the nape of his neck and her eyes are closed. I use the opportunity to scope her out.
She stretches over me by a good few inches even though I’m considered quite tall for a girl. Her long blonde hair is effortlessly beautiful, flowing smoothly over her shoulders. She wears the Saoirse solider uniform of black top, pants, and khaki jacket and somehow manages to make it look like she’s modeling the latest designer collection. She’s pressed tightly against Cal, but even still, I can tell that she’s in obvious good shape with curves in all the right places. My stomach curdles unp
leasantly, and for a fleeting moment, I fear I’m going to be sick.
“Oh my God, Amber,” Cal says, finally placing her on the ground. “It’s so good to see you.” His arms lie casually around her waist and a gut-wrenching pain knots in my stomach. I don’t like this one little bit.
Her eyelids flutter open and she beams up at him. “You too.” Her gaze never leaves his as she stares at him adoringly.
I’ve had enough of this. I cough loudly. She drags her gaze away from him and glances curiously at me. Cal releases his arms and steps sheepishly toward me. I try to keep my face impassive but it’s challenging. All I feel like doing is launching myself at her and scraping my nails down her face. I’m frightening even myself with the strength of my feelings.
And then it hits me.
This must be what it’s like for Cal every time he has seen me with Zane, and vice versa.
Newfound empathy develops with the realization.
Cal clutches me into his side. “Amber, I’d like you to meet my fiancée, Ariana.”
“Pleased to meet you,” I say, shaking her hand. My newly acquired acting skills are coming in handy again.
“Fiancée?” She does a double take as she shoots Cal a look.
“Yes. Fiancée,” I say, thrusting out my hand and practically shoving my ring in her face. Suck that up. “And we’re expecting a baby,” I explain sweetly. Cal looks at me as if I’ve just sprouted wings. Then a knowing smirk tugs up the corners of his mouth. He barely conceals his chuckle behind a cough. I wrap my arm around his waist and dig my nails into his side. He doesn’t even flinch. “So, how do you two know each other?”
“We used to date,” Amber says. My face pales. “But it was ages ago,” she says quickly, dismissing her comment all too readily.
“Oh,” my voice comes out squeaky and I cringe inwardly.
“Amber?” A shrill voice calls out beyond us. “Oh my God!” I turn around as Mel advances. She throws herself at Amber and they hug tightly.
Cal turns his attention to me. “You okay?”
“Peachy. Why wouldn’t I be?” There’s no way I’m admitting the extent of my jealousy.
“How are you here?” Mel asks, looping her arm in Amber’s.
“I joined forces with Saoirse about three months ago and I’ve been training with them ever since. Ah, Mel, it’s great to see you.” She hugs her again, and I have to resist the urge to throw my eyes to the heavens.
Cal stares at me, a funny expression on his face.
“Stop staring at me,” I hiss.
“You’re jealous,” he whispers in my ear.
“No, I’m not,” I lie, suddenly fascinated with my toes.
He tilts my chin up with his finger. “You’re such a bad liar.”
I purse my lips. “Okay, I’m jealous. Happy now?” I snap.
“There’s no need to be jealous.” His fingers clasp my chin softly.
“Just like there’s no need for you to be jealous of Zane,” I blurt out.
His mood instantly darkens. “This isn’t the same thing and you know it.” He drops my face.
Glancing sideways, I only now notice how Mel and Amber are quietly watching the drama play out. Embarrassment and anger churn inside me. “I’m going to head back. Let you all catch up. I’ll see you later.” I can’t even look at him as I say this.
“Fine,” he says tersely.
“Nice to meet you, Amber.” I force a smile on my face, but I’m sure it’s as fake as the look of understanding on her face. “See you later, Mel.”
I urge my feet to move as fast as they can. My heart pounds and there’s a strange blend of emotion burning the back of my throat.
The bed dips as Cal lowers himself in under the covers. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I turn and look at him through a blurry haze. “What time is it?”
“After twelve,” he whispers. “Sorry to wake you.”
Conducting a quick mental calculation, I frown as I realize he’s spent more than five hours with his ex-girlfriend. “That must’ve been a hell of a reunion,” I snark.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he hisses.
My vision is clearer now and I see the anger in his eyes though I don’t fully understand it. If I’d disappeared with Zane for that length of time, he’d have every right to be mad at me. It appears I’m not allowed to express those sorts of opinions. “Who is she really?”
“She’s my past, Ariana. But she’s also my friend, unless you’re saying that I’m not allowed to have friends who are girls?” He props up on one elbow and eyeballs me.
“Of course not. I don’t own you or control who you call a friend. I’m curious. You never mentioned her before.” My fingers twist in the comforter.
“Because I didn’t remember her until a couple of days ago.”
He looks at me strangely, some unknown element in his stare. Then it dawns on me. “Your memories have returned? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why haven’t you?” The challenge flares behind his eyes.
I’ve walked right into a hole, and I don’t know how to dig myself out of it. Diverting my gaze, I purposefully avoid answering his question.
“You’re as bad as your father.” He practically spits the words out.
That presses all the wrong buttons. My face darts to his, an angry flush already spreading across my cheeks. “Excuse me?” My eyes narrow as I glare at him.
“Concealing things. Refusing to face up to reality.” His eyes glimmer with rage.
“How dare you speak about my father in that way.” I’m all up in his face, and his dizzying breath blows across my face, temporarily distracting me. Mentally cursing my damned hormones, I push the yearning aside.
I don’t know whether I want to kiss him or kill him.
“Did he tell you that my dad has been trying to connect with Deacon from the time we moved to Novo, but your parents were insistent on keeping him away?”
“What?” I falter, for this is news to me.
“Thought as much. He’s been trying to be a father to Deacon, and your dad is blocking him because he can’t face facts.” He clenches and unclenches his fists repeatedly.
Dad hasn’t said anything to me about this, but I know my parents, and if they were hesitant, it was because it was in Deacon’s best interests. They have always prioritized our needs over their own. There can be no other explanation. “That’s totally unfair. My parents were only trying to protect Deacon.” My voice has raised an octave and Ben stirs behind me.
“Bullshit. Your dad can’t deal with the fact that his wife cheated on him, and he’s punishing my dad by keeping Deacon at arm’s length. It wasn’t enough that he stole her in the first place, now he wants to steal Deacon away too? That’s not gonna happen.”
“Oh my God,” I say, sitting bolt upright in the bed. “He has totally suckered you in. My dad is doing this to protect Deacon because he’s too young to process this now. Imagine what it will do to him?”
“He has a right to know who his father is.” He clenches his teeth.
“I’m not saying he doesn’t, Cal. But the timing has to be right. You can’t honestly tell me that your dad wanting to tell Deacon now is anything but pandering to his own selfish need?”
“Wake up, Ariana! Stop being so gullible.” He jabs his finger into my chest.
Blood boils in my veins and I thrust his finger away. “I know the man my father is and his actions are honorable. Dad would never use Deacon to exact some type of imagined revenge. Only yesterday you were disgusted with your dad for his attitude towards your mom and now you’re championing his cause?” I poke him in the chest repeatedly and I feel like screaming my head off in frustration.
A look of thunderous fury crosses Cal’s face and his knuckles blanch white. A tiny sliver of fear builds inside me. I shouldn’t push him so hard when aggression still simmers in his veins. But the crap coming out of his mouth is flipping my rage-ometer like a hyena on steroids. I sense Cal’s inner t
urmoil as he wrangles to keep a lid on his temper. Abruptly, he flips back the comforter and climbs out of the bed. He yanks on his pants and boots and grabs his shirt. “Where are you going?”
“I’m not sleeping here,” he seethes, his back turned to me.
“Suits me fine,” I retort.
He skulks out of the apartment without so much as a backward glance. I flop back down on the pillow as a deluge of tears engulfs me and I sob myself to sleep.
I wake the next morning with a pounding pain in my head. Twisting around, I stare at the space where Cal’s head usually lays. I reach out my hand and his side of the bed feels empty and cold.
A lot like my heart.
“Are you okay?” Ben asks.
Scooting back in the bed, I yank the covers up under my chin. “Did you hear all that last night?”
“Some of it,” he admits. “Is it true? Deacon is Cal’s half-brother?”
I nod solemnly. “Damn,” Ben says, cursing under his breath.
“We only just found out.” I tuck my legs underneath me.
“I don’t know what to say,” Ben says, sliding his bare legs out from under the comforter and sitting on the edge of the bed. I wish he’d pull on a pair of pants. It feels weird to be in here alone with both of us semi-naked.
“Neither do I,” I admit. There is silence for a few minutes but it’s not uncomfortable. “Do you know Amber?” I ask, hoping to glean some info on the sly.
“Amber?” His brow furrows as he looks at me. “Amber Johnson? Cal’s ex?”
“Yep. Her.” He looks at me expectantly. “She showed up yesterday.”
“Wait? Amber’s here?” He hops up and starts getting dressed.
“Does everyone know her?” First Mel, and now Ben. If their reactions are anything to go by, Amber was someone significant.
I feel anything but significant at this minute.
“She was Cal’s girlfriend for about a year. They only broke up a few months before the move to Novo. She’s a cool girl. I can’t wait to hear what’s been going on with her.” He tugs a shirt over his head and then sinks down on the bed. He clearly sees something in my expression because he reaches over and hugs me. “You have nothing to worry about, Ari. They were only fourteen when they went out; it wasn’t serious. It’s nothing like what you two have.”
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